Fight the Future

by BubblePuff

Chapter 1

It was a time of celebration in the Crystal Empire. Princess Flurry Heart was turning one year old. The entire crystal palace had been decorated for the special occasion. Numerous well wishers had dropped off a mountain of presents.

Shining and Cadence were focused on other things. Namely, trying to get Flurry Heart to put on her party dress.

“Flurry, get down here now!” Shining called out as he and Cadence chased Flurry around her room. Flurry giggled and flew in circles, knocking stuff over in order to create obstacles for her parents.

Cadence was able to leap over a pile of toys, but Shining slipped and fell on some foal bottles.

“Flurry, you’re going to be late for your own party!” Cadence lept into the air and finally grabbed ahold of Flurry Heart. Shining got back to his hooves and marched over to his wife and daughter. He wanted to yell, but looking at Flurry made him smile instead.

“Now, let’s get you ready. Your Aunt Rarity made the cutest birthday gown just for you.” Cadence took Flurry over to the changing table which had a box on it. She opened it up and took out a small pink dress that had poofy frills around the shoulders, sparkles sown into the vertical stitches of the skirt, and a big pink bow on the back.

Cadence slipped the dress over Flurry’s head. Flurry made a fuss, wiggling her hooves, flapping her wings, and even screaming as Cadance tried to put on the dress. After what seemed like hours, Flurry was finally in the dress.

“Cadence, do you think that we go to easy on Flurry Heart?” Shining asked. “She always throws temper tantrums and makes things very difficult whenever we try to do something with her.”

“But she’s so cute and soft!” Cadence nuzzled Flurry and booped her on the nose.

“I’m just saying that maybe a little discipline here and there would help. We really need to set some boundaries.”

Cadence just waved Shining off. “Flurry is just going through a phase. She’ll grow out of it.” Shining knew that there was no getting through to Cadence. Ever since Flurry Heart had been born, she had let their daughter practically get away with murder. Flurry didn’t even get a timeout for destroying the crystal heart.

Shining knew that Cadence always wanted to be a mother, and that the birth of Flurry Heart was the greatest thing to happen to her. Still, he was worried that they were being too lenient towards her.

A guard then entered the room. “Prince Shining, your sister and her friends have arrived for the party.”

“Thank you. Come on Flurry, it’s time for your big party!” Cadence placed Flurry Heart on her back and made her way to the main ballroom with Shining following close behind.

The ballroom was filled with ponies and their foals who had all gathered for Flurry Heart’s birthday. Balloons and streamers covered the walls, pony clowns were putting on a magic show and making balloon animals, there were dozens of tables with snacks and a massive birthday cake, and hanging from the ceiling was a massive banner that read “HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLURRY!”

Shining spotted Twilight and her friends. He immediately ran up and hugged her. “Twily! I’m so glad you could make it!”

“I wouldn’t miss the first birthday of my niece.” Twilight reached over and tickled Flurry Heart. “Happy birthday, Flurry!” Flurry squealed with delight.

Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Starlight all arrived with presents. They each wished Flurry a happy birthday and placed the presents on a table next to the cake.

Flurry looked over at the presents and reached out for them. “Now, now Flurry” Cadence said. “The time for presents will come later. Now it’s time to enjoy your party.”

Flurry then a gigantic temper tantrum. She screamed at the top of her lungs and violently kicked her hooves. The noise was so loud that it made all of the other foals cry.

Everypony ran about to try and calm down all of the foals. Cadence and Shining did their best to calm down Flurry Heart. “Shh, calm down. There’s no reason to be upset.” Cadence said in a soothing tone as she rubbed Flurry’s back, but Flurry continued to wail.

“How can we get her to stop?!” Shining shouted as he held his hooves over his ears. That is when Pinkie Pie bounced over.

“Leave it to me!” Pinkie then began making silly faces. Flurry Heart looked at Pinkie and instantly stopped her crying. Flurry laughed, then clung herself to Pinkie’s face.

“Morks ebery dime!” Pinkie said with a muffled voice.

“Still having a problem with Flurry’s temper tantrums, I see.” Twilight said to her brother. Shining waited a few moments for the ringing in his ears to die down before he answered.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. She is a real hoof -full.Heh heh.” Shining responded with a chuckle, but Twilight could see that there was something bothering her BBBFF.

“Hasn’t Sunburst been teaching Flurry to control her outbursts?”

“Well, Sunburst is really more focused on controlling her magical outbursts, not her emotional ones.”

“I know that it is really not my place to butt in Shining, but aren’t you afraid that without some discipline Flurry Heart may become a spoiled brat?”

“Well, I do think that Cadence and I need to set some boundaries. But we also don’t want to be too strict.”

Twilight gave her brother a reassuring look. “Shining, you and Cadence are great parents. I’m sure that you will both find the right balance between tough and fair.”

Shining smiled at his sister. “Thanks, Twily. You always did know how to cheer me up.”

Twilight and Shining hugged. “Anytime, Shining.”

After all of the foals had been calmed down, and Flurry Heart had been pried off of Pinkie’s face by luring her with Whammy her stuffed snail and a pacifier, the time came to blow out the candles on the cake. Everypony started singing h‘Happy Birthday’, but during the song a bright light appeared in the middle of the ballroom.

After the light light faded, a big scorch mark remained with a unicorn standing in the middle of it. His coat was jade green, and his mane and tail were crimson red. He had purple eyes, and a his cutie mark was a Tesla coil. The unicorn looked up, and upon seeing Flurry Heart he narrowed his eyes in anger.

“Sic semper tyrannis!” The unicorn shouted. He then fired a magical blast directly at Flurry Heart. Shining dove and shoved both Cadence and Flurry away from the blast. The magical blast hit the birthday cake, making it explode and covering nearly the entire ballroom in frosting.

Several guards rushed in and tackled the unicorn to the floor before he fired another blast. “Let me go!” The unicorn shouted as he tried to free himself. He was able to teleport away, appearing right in front of Cadence and Flurry Heart. “I shall send you back to Tartarus from which you came!” The unicorn lit his horn up for another blast, but Twilight was able to cast a force field spell around the two. The blast deflected off of the force field and blew a massive hole in the ceiling.

Shining tackled the unicorn and wrestled with him. “Why are you trying to harm my daughter?!” Shining yelled.

The unicorn looked Shining dead in the eye. “I’m trying to save the future!” The unicorn was able to kick Shining off of him, but Twilight used a spell to hold him down while Sunburst placed a magic suppression ring around his horn.

“No! You’ve got to let me go!” The unicorn shouted. “She’s going to kill you all! Don’t you understand? She must be stopped before it’s too late!”

The royal guards hauled the unicorn away. Twilight approached Cadence who was calming down Flurry Heart. “Are you two okay?”

Cadence looked at Twilight while she cuddled Flurry. “Flurry is a bit shaken up, but not harmed. Who was that stallion? And why did he attack my baby?”

Twilight scratched her chin as she thought. “I don’t know, but something he said keeps bugging me.”

“What’s that?” Cadence asked.

“He said ‘Sic Semper Tyrannis’. It sounds like Pony Latin. I need to look it up to find out what it means.”

Shining announced that the party was canceled, and all of the guest were sent home. Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Starlight all stayed behind to help clean up. Cadence took Flurry back up to her room.

Meanwhile, Twilight went to the palace library and found a book on Pony Latin. She looked through it, trying to find out the meaning of the phrase that the mysterious unicorn had said. “Here we go, Sic semper tyrannis: Thus always to tyrants?” Twilight became even more perplexed. “I need to speak to this would -be assassin.”

Twilight made her way down to the dungeon where the the unicorn was being held. “I need to speak to the prisoner.” She told the guard.

“Right this way, princess.” The guard led Twilight down a corridor. Soon they arrived at the unicorn’s cell.

“Thank you. You may leave us be.” Twilight said. The guard saluted and left. Twilight eyed the unicorn, who sat in the center of the cell with an unemotional look on his face.

“So, do you have a name?” Twilight asked. The unicorn looked at Twilight silently for a moment before answering.

“My name is Higgs. Higgs-Boson.”

“Why did you attack my niece?”

Higgs closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “You won’t believe me.”

“Try me.”

“I came here from the future. I am following direct orders to destroy Flurry Heart.”

“ Direct orders from whom?”

“From you, Princess Twilight.”

Comments

[meme_hater_6948_]

I didn't hate this fic, but it has some issues. For one, you're really taking away from the creative potential of your work with lines like

>The entire crystal palace had been decorated for the special occasion.

This is generally known as telling instead of showing. For this particular line, you could give your introduction more oomph and capture the reader's attention better by expanding your descriptions. Try to paint a picture with your words that sets the scene you're trying to create instead of blandly telling the readers what's going on.

>“Why did you attack my niece?”

This line could be greatly improved if you use it to show Twilight's confusion and anger. Without describing Twilight's reaction, the line lacks any real emotional impact.

Also, the way that the future pony just immediately tried to murder Flurry Heart was a little bit too much. Perhaps he could be a raving madpony on the brim of attacking someone, but straight up attempting infanticide really takes away from any reader sympathy that might be generated for him from the scene.

With that said, this is pretty far off from being the worst fic on this site. The concept is interesting and has the potential for a great story in it, but your mechanical execution of that concept and the way the fic reads is lacking. I'd give it a 4/10 as it currently is, but it could be a 5 or even a 6 with better editing and enhanced descriptions/prose.