An Exercise in Futility

by NeonKitty

Chapter 1 - Orphan

ACT ONE

'GIRLS! Wake up, you're ten minutes late!'

Groans and muttered curses filled the room as one of the sisters pounded on the door.

'Now! And don't give me any more grief!'

Coconut opened her eyes hazily, slowly focusing on the world in front of her. As her vision stabilized, she saw a coffee-coloured pony come into view. Caramel Swirl. Her mentor.

'Come on, Coconut. Classes start in twenty minutes.'

Coconut clumsily nodded in agreement, and rolled off the bed, hitting the floor with a resounding thud. Fully awoken, she trotted over to her wardrobe and pulled out her robes, white with a blue pattern of stars sown into the hem. While they were not her personal choice - all the novices at Ponyville orphanage were expected to wear them - she had always felt they contrasted particularly well with her mane, so she made no complaint.

Coconut quickly dressed herself, then made a lame attempt to push her distraught mane into shape. Fortunately, novices were not required to cut their hair short like the sisters, so she was allowed to style her hair as she wished. Caramel, as a sister-in-training, had to have her mane cropped short. But then again, short looked good on her.

Caramel watched in amusement as Coconut made one last attempt to straighten her mane, before she gave up and simply dunked her head in a pail of water. Surfacing, Coconut ignited her horn and wrung her hair dry as best she could, before dutifully trotting over to Caramel's side.

'Hey, that’s a neat trick. Wish I could do it.'

Coconut grinned. 'Yeah, it's pretty good. Still feels damp, though. Wish I could fly it dry like you.'

Caramel ruffled her wings. 'Are you kidding? My hair'd go everywhere. I want to appear at least slightly respectable, thank you very much.'

Coconut's retort was cut off by more demented bellowing from the other side of the door. 'Don't make me get the Mother Superior!'

---

Life at the orphanage was demanding work, but pleasant. Most of Coconut's activities were overseen by her mentor, Caramel. Caramel was an aspirant Sister, and to join the order, she was expected to complete several tasks, one of which was guiding a filly from infancy to adulthood. Caramel had been less than a teenager when Coconut had first arrived, but she had jumped at the chance to care for her. She had become more of a mother to Coconut than anypony else ever had. She had bathed her, changed her, read her stories and coaxed her to sleep. Now, with Coconut in her early teens and Caramel a young mare, the two were inseparable.

Caramel spent most of her time with Coconut teaching her about the order she was being inducted into, and the Astrals, the distant planets, stars and moons that governed Equestria. Coconut learned that Equestria was a land ruled by two Astral siblings, Princess Luna and Princess Celestia, and that the order was set up for mares who wanted to devote themselves to studying the sky and learning it's teachings.

Coconut was unsure just how much she believed in all of this - to her, the sky was just filled with the sun, the moon and lots and lots of tiny dots. But Caramel seemed to believe in earnest, so she tried her best to learn the stars and their names, if only for Caramel's sake.

As well as learning the skies, Coconut spent a lot of time at lessons and with her friends. She had made several good friends at the orphanage, but none of them could compete with Star Swift. The two of them had first met when they had been fighting over a toy car. Caramel had found an identical toy, given it to Coconut, and the two had been best friends ever since.

Star Swift was much quieter and more reserved than Coconut, but that hadn't stopped her from being one of the most popular fillies at the orphanage. In part, this was due to her being the first one to get her cutie mark - a small golden star. Most of the sisters agreed it was a sign Star Swift should become a fully-fledged member of the order, though Star Swift had confided in Coconut that she thought the star represented her desire to 'cast a light' on 'darkness' - darkness being troubled ponies and places.

Alongside lessons and friends, they were expected to clean, cook and maintain the orphanage. There were no cleaners or gardeners - just them. If the place wasn't immaculate, they would all be punished, meaning shirkers usually changed their ways quickly to avoid trouble with their peers.

Today, she had History of Equestria first. All her lessons were led by sisters, as opposed to teachers, like most schools. As with all her classes, Coconut sat next to Star Swift. Coconut wasn't much good at school, though she tried her hardest. Star Swift, on the other hoof, usually aced every test, and was always top of the class. And she had the good nature to let Coconut copy her homework.

School dragged on, as usual. Coconut stared out the window. Wrote down some dates. Stared out the window. Sketched a timeline. Stared out the window. Ponyville passed by, ponies going around their daily routine. Sometimes, Coconut felt so disconnected from the outside world, she practically forgot it was there. None of the young fillies were allowed to leave the grounds of the orphanage unaccompanied, and when they did, it was usually only to take part in community projects or attend stargazing sessions.

No loud music, no parties, no colts, no fun. Surely this couldn't be what Caramel wanted to spend her whole life doing?

Finally, the lesson came to a close, the bell sounding for break. Coconut and Star Swift usually spent their break with a few other ponies, in a small room overlooking the orphanage's courtyard. The entire building was quite large, consisting not only of the orphanage, but also the main observatory and nunnery of the order.

Coconut's other friends were there - Honey Bee, Sandy Shades and Lucky Gem. Honey Bee and Lucky Gem were both Coconut's classmates, but Sandy was much older than the rest of them. In fact, Sandy had been the one who came up with Coconut's name. Soon, she would be old enough to leave the orphanage, but unlike Caramel, she had shown no interest in joining the order. Instead, she talked nonstop about travelling Equestria, making her mark on the world.

All of them muttered vague greetings as Star Swift and Coconut entered. As usual, Star Swift made a beeline for the corner, where she pulled several books out of her saddlebag and began to pour over them. Coconut, meanwhile, joined the other three at a nearby table, where they were busy playing cards.

'Hey, Coco. You playing?'

'Sure.' Honey Bee drew two cards from the pack and slid them towards her. 'Studying hard?' she simpered.

'Bite me.'

Honey Bee grinned, shook her head, then flipped her cards over. 'Full House. Read em' and weep, bitches.'

Sandy slammed her hoof into the table and swore loudly, causing Lucky Gem to jump in her seat. Sandy sighed and threw her cards down. 'You gotta tell us your secret, girl. You're eating us alive.'

When Lucky Gem had been coaxed back to the table, a new round was drawn. Bets were placed. Coconut studied her hand. Queen of Spades, Seven of Hearts. An appreciable start. With the cards already revealed on the table, that could make... A pair of Queens. Not so good.

The faces at the table gave nothing away. Lucky Gem was smiling, but Lucky Gem was always smiling. Honey Bee's poker face was too good for it to give anything away, and Sandy's poker face was too bad for anything to be discerned from it.

The next card was flipped. No change in Coconut's hand. Honey Bee raised. Sandy folded, as did Lucky Gem. Now, it was just her and Honey Bee.

Honey Bee was the kind of Pony who was destined to rule the world. Not run the world - tasks like that were delegated by ponies like Honey Bee to ponies like Star Swift. Even her pale-yellow coat and short amber mane seemed to radiate power and status. She was clever, no question, but not in the same way as Star Swift. The best word to describe her would be sly. Cunning. Nothing passed her by, nothing tripped her up. And all of this was never more obvious than when you played cards with her.

'Looking a little shaky there, Coconut.' Her real name. Honey Bee never used her real name - was she trying to throw her off course? Or was it a mistake? No, Honey Bee didn't make mistakes. 'I'll raise. Three matchsticks.'

Call or fold? Honey Bee was a master bluffer, so there was no point in trying to call her out on it. But backing out now would be cowardly, and if there was one thing Coconut hated, it was cowardice. 'Call.'

The last card was flipped. Coconut's hand improved. Two Pair. Honey Bee's face never shifted.

There was an awkward silence. Honey Bee grinned sheepishly, looking slightly embarrassed. 'Crap. I thought you'd crack. I got nothing, high card King, I suppose.'

Coconut sighed with relief, cracked a matching crooked grin, and flipped her hand. 'You gotta step up your game. You aren't going to make it big in poker fooling ponies like Sandy.'

'Up yours, Piña Colada' Sandy shot back. Coconut wasn't quite sure what that nickname meant - neither was Lucky Gem or Honey Bee, though the latter pretended otherwise. Either way, she didn't mind it - it sounded sophisticated, high-class, even though it probably wasn't.

As Sandy gathered her cards away, chatting to Honey Bee, Lucky Gem turned to look at Star Swift, who had somehow already made her way through three thick books. 'Is she doing all right?'

Coconut nodded. 'Yeah. Just, you know, being Star Swift.'

Lucky Gem sighed. 'Yes, she is. What did she do with that book I loaned her?'

Lucky Gem had recently decided her best way of reaching out to Star Swift was through books. Lucky Gem was, out of all of Coconut's friends, the one most suited to life at the orphanage. Eternally polite, friendly and sociable, she had found her greatest challenge in trying to make a sociable pony out of Star Swift.

'She read it.'

'And?'

Coconut shrugged. 'She read it. She reads, like, ten books a day, I don't think yours was anything special.'

Lucky Gem groaned, smashing her head into the table. 'Back to square one. How do you do it, Coconut?'

'I've been with her her whole life. It's different to everypony else.'

Though they were similarly aged, Lucky Gem had arrived at the orphanage when she was about six, and Honey Bee around three. Sandy had arrived as a new-born foal, years before Coconut. Everypony had their own story - Honey Bee's father used to drink and hit her. Lucky Gem's mother had committed suicide. Sandy didn't know her parents, but they hadn't even left a note.

To outside observers, the open discussion of such twisted pasts would often come across as morbid, and the sisters usually banned such discussion, but the simple fact was that it had happened to everypony. That made it easier to talk about, even joke about. It was like living in a world where everypony had a fifth hoof - it wasn't considered abnormal, even though in the real world, ponies would stare at you for it.

Star Swift, on the other hand, never spoke about her past. Even when she was alone with Coconut, she simply clamped up whenever the topic arose.

A second more of silence, then split by the bell. Break was over. Chores were up.

Ponies filtered out of the room, one by one, waving goodbye as they left. Eventually, it was just Star Swift and Coconut.

'Come on, Star Swift. We'll be late - again.'

Star Swift rose to her hooves, nodded, and motioned for Coconut to lead the way.

Author's Note:

Don't hold out on this being updated regularly/anytime soon, I'm far too unreliable for that