Me and My Lord of Chaos

by Abryssle

Exception to the Rules

"Yeah, could we not do that now? I'm really tired," I said, instantly pleading.

"It's not your choice," Discord said, smirking. "And, of course, you don't really know what i'm going to do, so what i'm reading as a mix of fear and embarrassment is entirely misplaced." I looked at the bed. I looked back to him. The sheer bizarre nature of the situation failed to completely silence the strange inner maelstrom of emotions running through me.

"I don't know if you're being subtle enough to try saying that," I said. He smiled.

"I'm bored of subtlety."

"And i'm not," I said. Discord's smile didn't falter. His hand slowly raised. I really wasn't sure what to do. It wasn't like I could stop him if he decided to do something violent. Or sexual. Or anything, really. He could have produced a vat of honey and put me inside it if he felt like, and I couldn't stop that. This is so crazy. Truly, i'd gone insane. I would call the whole... the whole past day a weird personal fantasy that I for some reason couldn't leave, but not all of it had been enjoyable. In fact, most of it hadn't been. He snapped.

There was a very short period of swirling darkness, and then I was on the bed. Specifically, on my back, on it. I was still clothed, though, so there was that. And then instantly Discord was hovering just over me, body almost parallel to mine. Like. Just hovering above me by like a foot. I stared. For once, staring actually seemed like the only viable option and not just me being... I don't even know. Easily paralyzed by my own internal conflict?

"So... uh..." I gave a nervous laugh. Discord just smugly smirked down at me. "...What now?"

"Amusement," Discord said.

"But..." I said. I wasn't sure why I was questioning him not doing anything. Especially with the most likely thing he could do being so...

Arousing, my brain answered. Vaguely terrifying, but arousing nonetheless.

Can't I pretend to be noble? I thought back.

Hey, this is your subconscious answering. This is you. Just you on your most simplistic emotional and instinctive level, and given voice by the stress of the situation and your internal emotional conflict over what's happening to you. I couldn't help but recognize that that was probably a part of the reason for questioning. Disappointment. Only a part, but still. I came back to reality, and let my question die off in my throat. I just sat, barely moving under the substantially larger body of the Draconequus, and no doubt blushing like mad. Discord laughed immediately above me.

"So... Is this it?" I said. Discord took a little while to come back to an answering point, as his lungs were occupied. He did, though, after a few seconds.

"Well, that depends. What do you think?"

"...Yes?" I said back. He smiled.

"Do you think i'd come so close to not do anything?" I thought a moment. It was odd, how I could do that. Be calm enough to think, though that statement logically pushed me closer to the occurrence of a very large and very strange event. It was like the internal conflict between madness and logic, desires versus culture, was manifesting back and forth. Calm and accepting of the madness, then freaking out and getting annoyed. For the moment, my mind was relaxed entirely. Tranquil. The answer was obvious.

"Yes," I said. "Yes, I absolutely believe you'd come so physically close to me without the intent to do anything. Because it's making me nervous, and that's funny to you." I thought a moment longer. "Also, now that I think about it, i'm not sure if you could do anything further in the... normal way. You're sort of..." I looked down subconsciously, which, really, was just lifting my head from the pillows of the bed. "Smooth. You're smooth down there."

"I don't think you have a complete grasp of Draconequus anatomy just yet, Aaron," Discord said in a soft voice.

"Fair enough." I looked away from him, to the right, and then looked back. "Any particular reason that this is amusing, though?"

"Not really, no," Discord said. "It's just sort of funny. I jump dimensions and find an alien, and somehow he has a collection of romantic art involving me. And then is really embarrassed about it." He lowered his pawed arm down to my chest, with a purposeful slowness. It was almost painful to watch. It pressed softly onto my chest. "It's rather like finding out someone you've never heard of has a crush on you. Or, in other words, hilarious."

"Wouldn't that be kind of... creepy?" I said. Even though I was the person he'd never met in this example. And don't have a crush. Probably...

"Not really, no," he said. His paw was exerting a light pressure onto my chest. It felt odd.

"Is anything creepy to you?" I asked, looking down at his paw. My voice was shaking a little. Apparently it was time to fall back into freaking out. Discord made a thoughtful expression.

"Not much, no. Though the prospect of being sealed in stone again is one I find most..." I saw a flash of darkness fall on his face. "...unpleasant." I nodded a little, in spite of myself.

"Yeah, that probably sucked." I blinked. My eyes felt that pressure on them, the kind that always comes when you know you should sleep. It was a strange feeling, that dull, throbbing ache of the eyes. Did a damn good job of making you want to sleep, though, so as a bodily communication to the brain, I suppose it worked really well. "...I'm tired."

"It's midday," Discord said happily.

"Not back on earth," I said in response. "It's probably like... I dunno. 11 or some shit on my internal clock." Discord smiled.

"Scoot over," he said. I got an... eerie? Yeah, that seems to fit. I got an eerie feel at what I suspected he intended to do, even though it was harmless. I was going to comply, but I was apparently moving a bit slowly, because the arm on my chest just sort of slid me over to one side of the bed. Discord did an odd roll through the air, and his back flopped down onto the bed next to me. He gave a sigh. I just sort of nervously glanced over to him and then went back to looking straight up, as though afraid he'd catch me looking. "You're rather funny when you're embarrassed. It's a gift."

"I don't know if i'd call it a gift," I said. My eyes did another quick dart over to him. He chuckled.

"Oh, it is. You're an amusing victim. That's a born ability. You're not going to see anyone develop that through training."

Who would want to? I thought.

"Is "victim" really what you meant when you said audience?" I asked after a moment. Discord's left arm slid itself under my head (which traitorously lifted, without even a word from me to allow it) and gripped my left shoulder.

"Depends on you, Aaron. Are you suffering?"

"...I don't know, Discord," I said as a crawling tingle traveled over my skin. He pulled me back towards him, and I felt the softness of his fur touch my arm. He laughed.

"Indeed."

I didn't really have anything else to metaphorically throw at him, so I just sort of sat there next to him, uncomfortably comfortable. My thoughts were just sort of scrambling, but all of them fell away in seconds but the simplest, which were of no use. They were things like, "Discord is warm," which really didn't have much to do with a logical course of action. Maybe a logical course of action didn't exist for the situation at hand. I was possibly insane, after all.

"Do Draconequuses normally sleep on beds?" I asked suddenly.

"Not usually, no. They didn't," Discord said calmly. My brain picked onto the "didn't," but it gave me nothing to say about it.

"Hmm." I stared at the trees above. It wasn't super dark in the woods. Not as dark as I would have liked, really. Oh well. "If you're exemption-free messing with me is done, i'm gonna sleep."

"It is. I told you your fear was misplaced." I was quiet. He really hadn't done much. Either good or bad. Though I suppose as things he could have done to make me uncomfortable went, him lying next to me on a bed was pretty... nice.

Really nice, my insufferable subconscious went.

I've spent literally a day with him, my main-conscious answered back. Less. So. Shut up.

"Yeah, i'm gonna sleep then." I closed my eyes. I heard Discord shift a little on the bed.

"Okay." And so I went to sleep, and my first day spent with Discord ended.

Comments

[Ambassador_Derpius]

[AcrylicDawn]

whoa.
sleepin in bed with discord gotta be most awkward or embarassing moment of entire life

[Mr-Diamonds]

This is me and my best mate all over.
And it's just so hillarious that I can relate to this.

[Tome Turner]

This really seems like a case of Stockholm syndrome...