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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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8443620
Dont get me wrong im not dissing your story because i hate it it's just i was pointing out why i think it has so many dislikes ....the main character is just .... plain. Maybe if he had started with only him having future vision and the ability to change things it shows would make him more important. He right now is pretty much just a meat shield.
8443654
You know ... I actually should thank you for that. I barely got a comment on this telling me what problems there is in this story and you're the only one who actually got it laid down for me. I don't know if I can redeem him in the future, but I'm surely going to try.
I do want to say one thing though, not saying you're wrong but explaining why the bloodlust had been kind of dismissed: Nagisa wasn't in 3-E.
Think for a minute: In the original, from the start, Nagisa had pretty much grown used to assassination practice having being in the game for a while beforehand when Korosensei showed up in 3-E. No one's born with that kind of bloodlust, even if narration tries to make it so. In here, Nagisa wasn't even apart of 3-E, but 3-C instead, let alone being exposed to anything assassination or what-not beforehand, and as such he's ... well, as you said, plain. It takes time for this stuff to develop, though I guess I waited too long on that ...
Again, thanks for pointing it out to me. To be honest, I'd probably won't learn if you didn't,.
8443660
Sooooorta in a way you have to remember his mother mind fkd him in the anime man she was warped ..... his parents aren't mentioned yet in your story so until we find out about them it leaves it upto speculation wether he had a fd up childhood. Also why im waiting to see if hes got a bloodline ..... since demons and angels can look like regular humans ..... and the 3E classroom taught him how to use weapons mostly he was allready inteligent enough to aquire info on his own to use against others... But the class did give him a way to learn how to channel his inner bloodlust and skills. Liken the slap technique. As to the comments I can't see why no one would write one .... the story like i said is solid enough where you figure there'd be more likes then dislikes so the only thing I could think of was fans just didn't like the protagonist due to him being weaker then how they invision him from the anime.
8443692
Honestly I can see that being the case now that it's brought to attention. I'm not gonna lie, most of the time it was because the others had such stronger things compared that I just naturally put them in the spotlight. A mistake, but as you said, they have all these powerhouse items (Karma's sword, Ciel's butler, etc.), perhaps someone might find it odd that they'd stay back during a fight. Why would someone like Karma not fight something, really?
But yeah, I think it's time for me to get some amends on this story. Again, thanks so much for pointing this out. I'd probably make the same mistakes if things like this aren't brought to attention
8443705
Ahh don't need to amend they were powerful enough to fight what they were up against at the time. The others have there powers they can build up on twis alchemy karmas swordmanship maybe sebastion knows how to use one plus he could learn martial arts from edward. aladin and blaire have magic they can make stronger cief if i remember later on in the series becomes a demon but memory is a little foggy sebastions sebastion nuff said lol. Alfonse is a tank that knows martial arts and edwards got alchemy martial arts and automail Nagisa has whatever you eventually give him besides his sense and dagger.
8443718
understood. hope you enjoy what's to come for this story in future
8443722
Bonus, I would recommend the anime Buso Renkin for the future. Think of it as advanced alchemy, weaponised.
8446856
hmmm ... most interesting. Thanks for the idea ^^
8448334
I would also like to recommend the detective that can solve nearly any Mystery,
Conan Edogawa, AKA Jimmy Kudo. From the classic murder mystery anime series “Case Closed”
8451373
hmm ... interesting, but sounds a little OP for this situation. Thanks though