Loving the story! I'd be willing to be your Editor if you still need one! I have written and edited a few of my stories, though I'm much better at editing other people's works than I am at editing my own. Just let me know and PM me the necessary information! If you would like to use my FREE services I can PM you my email as well.
I usually don't like the instant mind control stories where the character has overpowered control, but for some reason your story still does a REALLY good job with it!
Two chapters in and you've already checked off almost my entire kink list... I can tell that this'll be something special when it's done.
PS: You actually have a pretty great writing style, light on details and word diversity, sure, but it feels like it was written by the impatient over-powered main character, and that's commendable.
As far as I can see there are quite a few peole reading this that don't like the instant mnd control concept but like the story anyway. In my opinion I think you make up for their dislke with two things. 1. The consent that hapens when he cums into a someone. 2. His personality.
(Explanation for #2): He desires control but is not how many people would consider someone like king Sombra being. Also he does not abuse either of them and lets them enjoy themselves.
Aww shit! Twilight better watch out! Not that she knows what for.
Great so far!
Loving the story! I'd be willing to be your Editor if you still need one! I have written and edited a few of my stories, though I'm much better at editing other people's works than I am at editing my own. Just let me know and PM me the necessary information! If you would like to use my FREE services I can PM you my email as well.
Loving this! Please don't stop!
Next target should Applejack and I wonder what he's going to do when he comes across Pinkie?
I usually don't like the instant mind control stories where the character has overpowered control, but for some reason your story still does a REALLY good job with it!
Keep it up!
Two chapters in and you've already checked off almost my entire kink list... I can tell that this'll be something special when it's done.
PS: You actually have a pretty great writing style, light on details and word diversity, sure, but it feels like it was written by the impatient over-powered main character, and that's commendable.
As far as I can see there are quite a few peole reading this that don't like the instant mnd control concept but like the story anyway. In my opinion I think you make up for their dislke with two things.
1. The consent that hapens when he cums into a someone.
2. His personality.
(Explanation for #2): He desires control but is not how many people would consider someone like king Sombra being. Also he does not abuse either of them and lets them enjoy themselves.
those are my thoughts on it anyway.