Only One Speck of Dust

by TheMareWhoSaysNi

Chapter 8

Too much darkness. Darkness whenever she looked. Rainbow Dash felt herself chocking, struggling to breathe. She wanted to fight, she wanted to writhe, but the darkness closed around herself like a monster’s claws. When she opened her mouth to scream, no sound came out of it.

Suddenly, some voice spoke to her. She knew this voice yet she also knew it did not exist. Many times, she had heard it. When it resounded, it never was a good sign. Never. She writhed more. She had to get out of it before the voice could become clear, before the words could touch her heart. There might be some way out.

Impossible. She could feel herself struggling yet she did not see her body. No pony could get out of a place without doors or windows, without even a tiny light as a guide. Even her wings refused to work, as if chopped off.

Too late. The voice was too close. Rainbow Dash felt herself bumping into it. No one could bump into a sound… No one…

“Look at your hooves, Rainbow Dash, look at them… Can’t you see?”

She did not want to look. Yet she looked. As weird as it seemed, they appeared clearly in the dark. Worn out, scratched, grazed, its coat all around snatched away, like skinned. She felt it before she could even see the blood flow. Where it came from, she did not know but it unceasingly dripped along her hooves.

“You could struggle as hard as you like, they’ll always be contaminating. This is the blood running under your skin and eating you from the inside. You can’t help it. It will stab your heart and poison your lungs. Your secret sin. The one you wish you could deny.”

“No, no, no!”, she screamed, but the sound of her own voice echoed as a whisper.

“You won’t be able to escape. Look all around you… There’s nothing but darkness. It will be your last abode, your sepulcher. Don’t try, don’t even try…”

“You shut up, for Celestia’s goodness, shut up!”

Suddenly, a gleam. Weak like the one of the Out of Sight Sun when it touched the clouds. Tiny. Right at the bottom. And another voice, a soothing one, asking her to look at the gleam and not to turn away.

The first voice burst like a soap bubble and the shadow of a night-colored mare, with a long flowing mane, surreptitiously passed her by. The gleam grew up. It became more intense. Rainbow Dash felt herself going forward, heading to the glow, closer and closer, more and more dazzling. She had not to look away at any cost or she would found herself trapped again.

Why did she have the impression of hearing, as if her body was underwater, an animal crying? It made no sense.

When she finally reached the light, she felt her wings fluttering in her back. She was feeling light, freed from a weight leaned against her stomach. Something wet caressed the top of her head from time to time, along with the cries…

Then he appeared in front of her. As if he never had left. So real she could have touched him. He smiled at her. His midnight blue mane, always long, his coat so white and his eyes as dark as the Ceaseless Night sky. On the flank under his wings, there was an hourglass with stars around. She whispered his name:

“Time Stellar…”

He did not hear her and kept on smiling, his wings flapping slowly, his hooves a few inches away from the ground. Rainbow Dash remembered… It never failed to irritate her when he did that. “Why on Equestria can’t you fly just like any pony else or trot just like any pony else?”. And he never answered her question.

“Rainbow Dash, don’t worry… The Black Blood isn’t a curse, according to the Great Books of Ponies. It’s the ultimate blessing. In reality, you are the light, you’re not the dark.”

She reached out a hoof… The same old mistake. To try to touch him. Each time, he vanished away in the dazzling light. This time was no exception.

Rainbow Dash opened up her eyes. Her heart thumped in her chest. Her oil lamp was shining by her side, on the ground where she had put it. The quilt she had used for her nap laid at her hooves. Her forehead and mane were damp from perspiration and on her cheeks, she still could feel small furrows made by tears. Leaning over her, Winona, Applejack’s pet dog, looked at her with her head tilted and sorry eyes.

It had been a while since she did not have that dream, on the other hand, never before had That Voice and Time Stellar shared it. This was a brand new succession.

Pinkie Pie always said dreams had a meaning. She had made fun of it until her own mother confessed she did have unsettling dreams during the Fratricide War and each time it happened, something had occurred.

It was nothing to reassure her…

She stood back up and rubbed her face with her left hoof. Just for a moment, she had a doubt and stared at her hoof in order to get comfort. Nothing to report, except the scar made during her Sacrament Ritual, years ago.

This morning, after breakfast, she had gone to sleep in her bedroom as usually. She only had been able to sleep for a few of hours, unsure of why. After a lunch with her parents, Melrose and Apple Bloom, the young filly Applejack’s mother had adopted ten years ago, she had decided to train flying in the gardens of the Royal Tavern and Inn. When fatigue had suddenly started to show again, she went to take refuge in her secret spot in order to take a good nap.

It was a spot a little secluded where there was an old well that had been sealed off. Because the setting was poorly lit, generally tourists and visitors did not like to come around here. Yet Rainbow Dash felt safe there. She liked it specially to take improvised naps or to read one of her favorite novels. When, in spring, her tortoise was awake, the pet kept her company and spun around the old well with his propellers tight around his shell.

Winona was still sitting by her side, looking at her with her hanging tongue.

“What are you doing here?”, Rainbow Dash asked while stroking her head. “Where’s Applejack? She abandoned you to flirt with Caramel, didn’t she?”

The small she-dog closed her eyes, apparently enjoying being stroked, until an easily identifiable voice called her from afar. Immediately, she bounced from the well and went gamboling in the snow, visibly little bothered about the winter cold.

The sound of Applejack’s boots against the snow could be heard. Rainbow Dash realized then she did not feel like justifying the sweat of her mane and her eyes redden because of tears.

It already had happened to her, after she had done one or the other of these two dreams, in the middle of the “night” to knock on Applejack’s bedroom door, asking her best friend whether she could sleep at her footboard so she would not be alone. She would understand, giving her a pillow and a quilt and letting her share her bedroom. No need to ask why. The orange mare knew.

But this afternoon, Rainbow Dash knew she would not have the strength. Like when she had thought she had seen this former training friend. She had not said a word to anyone so she would not have her friends worried.

Not even turning off her lamp or folding her quilt, she flapped her wings and flew as fast as she could, letting a multicolored trail behind her.

By flying high enough, she could reach and pierce through the white clouds wrapping the sky and stopping any kind of light from filtering. After her, they immediately closed up again such as the mouth of some mystic creature. So, she could fly without being seen by anyone.

Myths said that slipping through the clouds of the Ceaseless Night was trying to defy the Spider God, that the air there was so stifling that death would immediately arise. As a younger filly, Rainbow Dash had believed these stories too. If some still remained unresolved mysteries, such as the Legend of the Lost Crystal Empire, as she grew up she realized most of it were only ridiculous pony tales.

She still had some time yet she chose to go to The Militia’s Headquarters. The place probably would be empty… Good. It would permit her to train outside in peace and quiet, without a small crowd of recruits to mass together around her, admiring of her skills. Of course, she was particularly fond of attention. But she did not really enjoy being observed like some kind of special scientific case.

No pegasus was able to cross over the magnetic field of the magic spell protecting the building, if coming from the sky. Perpetrate by Princess Celestia herself, it was impossible to divert or to break. The magic it contained was twice as powerful than the one from the most powerful unicorn of the city. She was a recluse, anyway, almost a legendary creature which little remembered. That did not include Rainbow Dash who had thought she had seen her lately. Although with days passing by, she started to wonder whether it had not been a hallucination.

When she stepped into the huge yard, she was surprised to hear a sound coming from the Head’s Council’s training room. Why would someone come and train here when there was all the room of Equestria outside? Led by her curiosity, she climbed the few steps and pushed the ajar door with her head.

Only a few of the vast room’s lights were lit. The hearth that was used to warm it up crackled from its last flames. Most of the warmth had probably vanished away within Ponyville’s cold air yet the temperature was right, undoubtedly thanks to the pegasus who was training there tirelessly.

Rainbow Dash did not show her presence to Soarin. She had the impression that if she opened her mouth, she would break the spell. For some pony terrified by the very idea of fighting, he gave all his heart in it. Maybe this was his secret. An anxiety in which he collected the rage to surpass himself, to go beyond his own demons.

This was the reason why she had always feel close to him from the beginning, though she was not of a very effusive nature and she spent more time tearing a strip off him. She kept it secret, but she felt a strong connection between them. She was afraid of something too. Unlike him, her fear mainly came from herself. It was nothing external. It was a part of who she was. However, all the same, she would collect a rage from it that pushed her to surpass herself, to go farther and farther.

She felt like humming, and before she even realized, she started to whisper the words of Equestria’s Anthem, words that sounded in a particular way when life conditions and injustices of this vast land were known.

“Though the winter brings all its cold and storm/ The glow in our hearts keeps us warm/ The friends we now call our family/ Will always see us through”

The bitterness she sometimes felt when she heard those words was improper at this very moment. At this very moment, it had the taste of some strawberry candy, something sweet and acidulous. It felt strange. She had been feeling so bad a few minutes earlier and now she was feeling so good she felt like opening her wings and fly as high as possible.

Soarin suddenly noticed her when, completely out of breath, he felt his hooves eventually touching ground. The mats often made the landings softer and stopped from being invaded by a feeling of intense coolness when getting in touch with an obviously cold floor.

His midnight blue mane was wet and a few strands were stuck against his coat that was damp as well. He was breathless from moving so much, as if controlled by another pony ordering him not to let go and to always hit harder. He put down the wooden sword he had in his mouth and smiled at her. Rainbow Dash barely stepped forward.

“It feels good to see you motivated. Since how long do you train?”

“I can’t remember”, he confessed.

All notion of time had been lost with the rest. It was nothing new. Very often when he trained, he stopped paying attention to the world around. All that mattered was what he had inside that wanted to get out. Nevertheless, he had to admit it had not happened ever since the accident that had made him leave Cloudsdale. And for good reason, before he joined The Militia, the very idea of fighting had been an ordeal.

Rainbow Dash probably had felt it. He saw her coming closer, slowly and peacefully. Soarin no longer dared moving. Once again, she was staring at him with this particular care, the one making him feel as if she was trying to search through the depth of his soul.

“Soarin… Why are you trembling? I’ve already noticed that. Each time a fight or a training session is over, your hooves start to shake. Looks like they can’t bear your body anymore. Something happened in Clousdale, did it?”

“Yes”, he nodded while turning away. “I lost a fight that almost cost my life. Dash… Do you know the white feeling of when you feel death is leaning upon yourself, trying to bring you with her?”

“Of course I do. Her and me are old acquaintances.”

Suddenly, it was obvious. She always knew, he was sure. There was something about her. An ability to break through the shields and to translate the truth untouched. It was not always pleasant. Sometimes it even was like a stab in the heart which made ego pass away. But at least, one knew what to expect with Rainbow Dash. There was no subterfuge.

“Always keep one thing in mind”, she said closing the gap between them and pressing a hoof against his chest. “If you let fright win, it will take you away at the next turn. You have to use it, to manipulate it so it would help you to reach for your personal goal.”

She was so close to him, her magenta irises like a huge lake, staring into his own eyes. Something went back up inside of him, something he tried hard to conceal, burning his heart. They did not know each other for so long, after all… And he seemed to him Rainbow Dash was not the type of mare to be into this kind of stuff.

In all likelihood, she would reject him. Yet he had to try. If he fell, too bad, he would stand up again. And he would try it again after some time. And if he really failed again then he would quit, but he did not want to give up before at least taking his chance.

He only had to struggle a bit in order her not to notice his cheeks getting a little pink just by the thought of it.

“You know, I… In fact, I had like some kind of… crush at first sight on you. I really fancy you… I don’t know, maybe we could… just… hang around… together… not like friends, I mean…”

At any moment, Soarin expected her to laugh in his face. It was ridiculous. He was behaving like a foal, though he was a full grown-up stallion who was not a newbie in sentimental affairs. There was another thing about her… Something more he could not describe and that made him feel stupid whenever she was around. Like too much of a goofball.

Quite unexpectedly, she did not make fun of him and, conversely, she blushed as well. She had not expect something like this. In Ponyville, everypony knew she had been with no one else since Time Stellar’s death. In fact, a lot of them said she would probably never have anypony else, busy as she was with her duty towards the citizens.

“Do you realize I sometimes think you’re a bit of a goofball?”

He nodded, laughter in the brink of his lips. This was no answer yet at least, she had not made fun of him. True to herself, all she had done was to speak a rough truth, free of any kind of varnish or polish.

In Rainbow Dash’s mind, it was rather clear. She was not in love. Of course, Soarin intrigued her, she could not deny it. She had spent a certain amount of time watching him, studying him, even. Yet this was not properly speaking feelings. It was… something else. A curiosity. Some strange sensation, as if… as if she had been expecting him to be on her way, eventually, not really sure of why this thought had hit her when she had met his green eyes for the first time.

Being who she was, there were little chances for her to unleash what was inside her heart. If there was a field in which she had a lot to learn, it was this one. Even Time Stellar, that she had loved with all her heart, hardly had been able to snatch affectionate words out of her outside of complete privacy.

Soarin saw her putting her eyes down, as if plunged into intense reflections. Her mouth twisted on the side and the second after, she smiled at him in that so adorable way she was not even aware of. This simply was how she smiled and nothing more…

“Well, why not? It could be fun, after all…”

“F—Fun?”

This really was something he did not expect. A simple “yes” or “alright” would have fit the bill. But fun… Well, she did not reject him, that was a start. It was a first step. He would be able to make her fall head over hooves for him with time. Then at least, that was what he said to himself to get some kind of comfort.

Comments

[Vitae]

Woot! Good chapter!

[TheMareWhoSaysNi]

7680986 Thank you