Empty

by DawnSkies

Learning to let go

Months pass. Almost a year even. She still makes mistakes. This mare is useless at understanding how a relationship works. Never actually messing up enough to be hated, hell never crossing the line that would be "cheating". But she doesn't treat you right. And you know it. But you take it. No longer cause its about holding her up, keeping her alive... You're past that. You fixed her. But in the progress she has become depressed, the status quo set. You're her life rope, you hold her up and she pushes you under.

You talk about how you feel but you're met with excuses and then more apologies. She cries and you comfort her. You couldn't be anymore under the hoof. But sometimes you see her again. Beneath the miss treating pony she has become sometimes she comes back. The mare that you fell in love with. You remember how you met. In a moment of beauty, you hit it off. You weren't even looking for love but it came for you whether you were ready or not. And what a ride it was. What a ride it is. So many ups and downs. But this is one of those ups.

Today shes here again, the mare you love. The mare you see a future with. Nothing but love and attention is what she gives you. You both cuddle on the grass, her body resting into your chest as you wrap your hoofs around her. She feels safe with you, and in return gives you love and her heart. And you remember why you do this. Why you make sure she feels like she always has you. Through thick and thin you're there for her.

You nuzzle her mane and smell how sweet her scent is. Kissing her head you begin to drift off to sleep with her in the sun. Wishing for this moment to last. But it never does. Soon she is no longer herself. And you hold onto your memories you've made together, holding onto how much you love her. But for now she is gone, and you wait to see her again. But you mask yourself into something you're not, you continue to hide your sadness. For her. To carry her through. You're weak you think... But really you have never been stronger. You loved her through everything that happened. You loved her for her perfections... And even her flaws, the time she told you her mother kept her awake at night, when she broke down crying telling you she missed her family, her sisters and how you're all she has. When she told you she was raped. You stayed strong... For her.

But how long can you wait before she becomes herself again... Will she ever be herself again? You can spend your days hoping for something to change but you have to learn to let go. But you can't. Not yet.

"Do you still love me" She asks one night.

You have to think. Funny. You can't remember the last time you hesitated to answer this.

You never did, this is the first time you have had to think about it.

"Of course I still love you" You whisper kissing her

Did you just lie to her. Not even you can tell no more.

No! You do love her. You know you do. Just, the part of her. Buried deep inside. Somewhere in her eyes you can see it. The mare she once was.

The mare you loved unconditional.

The mare you need to let go.