Chapter 2 - Division
Dodge sighed as the chaplain started towards him. The older stallion had chosen his ambush well; Dodge wouldn’t be able to live up to his name this time. Ah well, time to bite the bullet.
“Private Lighthoof!”
“So what’d I do this time?”
The chaplain was caught off guard for a moment before shaking his head. “Oh, nothing like that, I just needed to speak with you about some paperwork. It seems you haven’t registered your patron.”
Dodge closed his eyes. “Oh. Yeah. That’s… complicated.”
“I understand that many young ponies don’t worship the Alicorns according to tradition, but you should still at least declare your loyalty to Princess Luna.”
“Yeah… that’s where things get complicated… Luna isn’t my patron alicorn.”
The chaplain found himself surprised for the second time in as many minutes. “I… See…” Dodge could tell that he didn’t really. The fact that he subtly checked the nature of Dodge’s wings was a dead giveaway.
“We should probably take this conversation somewhere less public.”
“…My office is just down the hall.”
“Works for me.”
Lime’s namesake gaze was firmly cemented to his hooves.
“Colt… why are you even here? Honestly in the ten days you’ve been here I haven’t seen any drive from you whatsoever. Regulation says I can’t actually recommend you leave, and you can’t be released from the Guard unless you ask for it, but… I just don’t think you’re cut out for this.”
“…I’m probably not. But I can’t leave.”
“Why not?”
“…The last conversation I had with my parents was whether I’d last one night here or two.”
“Sounds to me like you already beat expectations then son.”
“Not really. It’s not about time. I’m a failure, no cutie mark, no talent, no life. That’s all anypony expects me to ever be. And they’re probably right. I almost went home the first night.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Lime shrugged. “I got mad. Mad at my parents, mad at myself. I decided at least I could be stubborn enough to last just a little longer. And right now… if I walk out those gates, I’m admitting that I’m useless, that my existence is pointless. I figure at the very least I can wait a little longer before that, right?”
“I must say Private Lighthoof, I’m surprised. It’s not often that one of ours doesn’t claim Princess Luna as their patron. I remember some notes in your file detailing interactions with Princess Celestia, is she your patron then?”
“Tartarus no! I want nothing to do with Sunbutt!”
The chaplain found himself chuckling. It wasn’t often a guard felt comfortable voicing a negative opinion about an alicorn in his presence. “Alright then, who?”
“…I …I guess I serve the Star.”
“Princess Twilight? Yes, she is becoming quite popular, even among ours, especially given what she did for Princess Luna, I suppose it makes sense that–”
“Wrong star.”
“…What?”
After thinking about it for a moment, Dodge reached back with a wing and started fishing around in the small saddlebag that was part of the training camp’s uniform. A heartbeat later he withdrew the pendant Diamond had given him, a blue star with some kind of symbol in it made of the same silver as the chain. “If I have to pick a patron… I’ll go with this one.”
The chaplain stared at the small star as it was placed on his desk. After remembering to resume breathing – fortunately managing to do so quietly enough that it likely went unnoticed – he sat down. Hard. “Hope.”
“What was that?”
“I… where did you get this?”
“My… sister. She’s… I’m not sure how much I can–”
“She’s a Shadow Ranger?”
Dodge’s eyes narrowed. “How?”
“When the purge happened, my predecessors committed an act of high treason in the name of faith and kept knowledge of all the alicorns – and by extension their servants – alive by disguising it. Hiding things behind symbolism helped us slip things past the inquisitors. We are sworn to several kinds of secrecy, especially to never let the Sun know what we know, lest there be another purge. So what made you choose the general?”
“…um…”
“My vows of secrecy are bound into my oaths as a chaplain. Nothing you tell me will ever leave this room.”
“…How much do you know about what happened in Manehatten a few months back?”
“I assume you refer to what the papers have termed the ‘Blood’s Eye Event?’”
“Yeah.”
“Really I only know what was made public. What are you aware of?”
“Everything. See, I was involved at first. It all started when this filly wandered into my favorite bar…”
“Honestly Private Blade I have nothing to say. These meetings are procedural though, just like this training camp. That’s really all you’re doing here, you don’t even need this training except to check off the boxes. Just keep your head down and you’ll be fine.”
“…I found out about the rest after it was over, but from what Diamond and the rest told me things were just getting started. See, after she dropped me off at the hospital…”
“Siddown Hawthorne.”
“Sir.”
“Colt, I want to like you, really I do. But you can’t keep showboating like you do.”
“I’m not sure what you mean sir.”
“Quit standing out. The guard relies on everypony being exactly the same. You need to be completely interchangeable with every other earth pony in the guard. Do you understand?”
“So what you’re saying I need to be something between a cardboard cutout and a tin soldier?”
The smirk and sarcasm were completely missed. “Exactly! See, you can do this easy!”
“WHAT!” The chaplain took a moment to regain his composure. “You mean to tell me that Midnight Star is back?”
Dodge nodded. “Although apparently it’s some state secret or something.”
The chaplain snorted. “I'm sure his existence is a state secret, I can only imagine what his presence would do… wait… with Princess Flurry Heart… Oh my. Six of them. We haven’t had six alicorns at once since Shade Darkwing fell to a griffon ambush.”
“Who?”
“The point is… the alicorns only show up in force when we need protectors. I’m worried now, what could be on the horizon…”
“You mean besides the two bids for freedom Tartarus has made so far?”
“…Two?”
“So Commander Sound how is he?”
“I’m… not entirely sure. He’s wound up in the cooler a few times for mouthing off to the officers, but that’s not exactly worrisome in itself…”
“You say that as if something was worrisome.”
“The Bat Pony Company Chaplain was trying to sort out an issue with missing paperwork. Apparently he didn’t have a patron.”
“Oh? I would have assumed his patron would be my sister.”
“So did we, but, well, protocol… Anyway, the chaplain finally talked to him about it… And has been jumping at shadows ever since.”
“Hmm… yes, I suppose that could do it… Did the chaplain mention who Private Lighthoof’s patron is?”
“Hold on, I’ve got the paperwork here somewhere. It seems like he went with Princess Twilight, but… it’s worded oddly… Here we go. ‘Servant of the Star.’ Any special meaning to that?”
Celestia stifled the urge to sigh. She should have known.
Spring collapsed onto her bunk with as much relief as exhaustion. It was a good thing she was retiring, because she did not want to be a part of a guard that claimed her current CO as a model soldier and officer. If he knew the difference between a battle axe and a battlement she’d shell out a dozen bits at this point. He was the kind of officer who would order his unit to put siege to a broom closet and then be surprised that the enemy wasn’t conveniently there… she never had gotten over that one instructor from her own training, had she?
Two weeks down, eight to go. She just had to survive it… without having to get a few recruits to help her hide a body.
Kite Shield glanced around, the yellow unicorn’s eyebrow lifting as he finished a head count. “Huh, didn’t realize the local brig was such a popular club.”
The bat pony at the end of the row shrugged. “Usually it’s just me in here; we seem to be hosting a party today.”
“I’m honestly surprised,” The pegasus across from him commented from where he was lying on the floor. “This isn’t what I’d have pictured when I thought of ‘military discipline.’”
He wasn’t the only one, Kite thought as he glanced around the room again. Six cells, three on either side of a short hallway, all of them completely open except for the bars. There was a small weapons locker outside for whoever was guarding the prisoners… if they had bothered to assign anypony to guard the prisoners. What were they going to do, run away? They had that option at all times anyway.
Kite’s companion spoke up, “You can thank bureaucracy for that. If another pony is injured or any property damage occurs this is the most intense punishment they can give us.”
The earth pony by the door perked. “So I can mouth off as much as I want and the only thing they can do is put me in time out?”
The bat pony laughed derisively. “Figures, they would think of that as ‘extreme punishment.’”
The unicorn mare who was being let into the cell next to the one Kite had just been placed in shot him a glare. “The belief is that it is best to match punishment to crime. As long as there is no damage or injury, it is felt that harsher punishments would only provide incentive for rebellious behavior.”
Kite snorted as he reclined on the short bunk in his cell, resting his tomato red mane on his forehooves as he clasped them behind his head. “Case in point.”
The bat pony looked curious. “Yeah, about that. I recognize you two. Grayscale there isn’t really the type to wind up in here, what happened?”
The mare answered before Kite could, “It’ll be public record once I file my official complaint anyway. Our instructor made a rather… derisive… comment about certain tribes which Private Shield took exception to. When the instructor tried to call Private Shield out for disrespect, I attempted to help by pointing out several regulations supporting Private Shield.”
“Which is when he decided that both of us were a problem and needed to be removed from his training exercise.” Kite cut in. “How ‘bout you, what’re you in for?”
The bat pony shrugged. “My instructor’s a prat. I like to point this out indirectly. He then tries to ‘remind me of my station,’ at which point I remind him that ‘better than him’ is an inherent part of that. He doesn’t like me very much. On the upside, I’m in here often enough that I almost have them convinced to let me put up posters in my cell.”
The earth pony laughed, “Sounds like my instructor. Make one little comment about how his formation orders have us tripping over each other and BAM! suddenly I’ve insulted his hygiene, virility, parent’s marital status, dog, and every ancestor all the way back to the first Hearth’s Warming. Almost wish I had pointed out the flaws with his hygiene, that pony sti~inks.”
Kite laughed. “How about you?” He looked at the pegasus. “What’d you do?”
“Nothing. Apparently I wasn’t doing my wing-ups fast enough and the instructor didn’t feel I was really trying. Felt I should have some time to think it over.”
The bat pony howled with laughter. “Because any of these idiots can do anything fast. This whole place is useless, I mean seriously? Wing-ups? I’d love to know how those are going to save your life in a fight.”
The mare cleared her throat. “You know, for someone trying to be a guard, you certainly seem to have a low opinion of them. Why did you enlist in the first place?”
“I didn’t.”
The pegasus nodded sagely. “Shipped off by your parents?”
“Can’t happen,” Hawthorne pointed out, “Parents haven’t been allowed to make decisions for their children regarding the Guard in…”
“Two-hundred and thirty nine years. The Climbing Ivy case was the last time Princess Celestia was involved directly in a military legal matter. So if you didn’t enlist, what are you doing here?”
“Simple, I’m just carrying out my sentence.”
“Sentence?”
“Dodge Lighthoof, most wanted thief in Manehatten, at your service.”
“Y’all’s a crim’nal?” Kite noted with interest that the earth pony could be shocked into a rather interesting accent.
The bat pony – Dodge apparently – narrowed his eyes. “I guess I am. And you… what, did you come here fresh off the farm? Don’t be so quick to judge because you were lucky, not all of us had the luxury of choosing morals and survival.”
The mare – Blade, he suddenly remembered – gave a haughty sniff. “Much as it vexes me, I must agree. You are no better than he, with your contempt for the officers.”
“I only get annoyed by the idiots.”
“A disregard for any part of the lawful order of things is a disregard for the whole of it.”
“Where do you get off you little…”
Kite Shield had the sudden and uncomfortable realization that “between these ponies” was not a safe place to be.
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Still a better story than suicide squad.