The Light of Despair

by Gordon Pasha

Serious Jests

Sombra looked so happy. He was young, innocent, and carefree. It was a breezy summer day, and he and Hope had just finished some made-up game or other. Now, worn out, they were sitting in the grass, catching their breath.

“Hope, you’re the most fun pony I’ve ever known!” the youthful grey colt proclaimed in excitement. “We should play another game before Ms. Chestnut makes us go in.”

“No problem!” Hope said cheerfully. “My fairy friends just helped me come up with another one today.”

“Another one? You just came up with it?”

“Of course! I knew you’d want one. And Radiant Hope never disappoints her friend!”

Sombra smiled at her, an adorable toothy smile.

“I can always count on you, Hope!” Sombra said.

Then, he began to change. His teeth grew longer and sharper. His horn curved and began to glow an eerie red. His eyes became red and green, with purple fog-like smoke bellowing from the corners.

Hope looked behind her to see Princess Amore. But not the strong, rather maternal-looking princess she was used to. No, this Amore was stone, motionless, a statue. And not even a pleasing example of the sculptor’s art, but a horribly disfigured grotesque.

“Sombra, what have you done?” Hope heard herself say.

Sombra answered. But Hope did not really hear him. Instead, all she could focus on was her sense of horror that her best – her only – friend had become this… this thing. Horror and something else. Something she had never felt in her entire life. It was a draining of the love she felt for her friend and of her hope for the future. It was….

Despair. Absolute despair.

“You are a monster!” she screamed.

Then everything went black.

“Hope!” came a voice in the darkness.

Then nothing but silence and sorrow.

And then, “Hope, wake up!”

Hope’s eyes flew open. She looked around her. While her surroundings were rather difficult to make out, she judged by the stream of light nearby that it was day. And standing above her, directly in the beam of light, was Oriflamme.

Hope’s eyes began to adjust. They were in a hovel. The light was streaming in from the entrance, where the wide flap had been thrown back. Hope thought to get to her hooves, but found that she was already on them. She must have fallen asleep while still standing.

Then, realization dawned on Hope. Cold, comfortless realization. She dashed to the bed.

Oriflamme pulled her back. “There’s nothing you can do, Hope! It’s too late!”

Hope shook. She could not believe it. She tilted her head just enough to see behind the tall pegasus. There, in bed, was a corpse where a life had been, and the corpse was covered in boils.

“But I was here!” Hope moaned. “I was here!”

Oriflamme gripped her tightly to keep her from looking back again and led her toward the entryway. “Let’s just get you out of here,” she said.

Hope became teary-eyed. “But I was here! I should have been able to save her! I shouldn’t have fallen asleep! It’s my fault she’s dead!”

“It’s not your fault. You can’t blame yourself. She probably would have died anyway, whether you were here or not.”

“No, I could have saved her!”

“You don’t know that.”

Hope felt the light of the sun blinding her as she stepped outside. The area was roaring with activity, as ponies came out of their huts to go about their daily routines.

“Look at them, they don’t care!” Hope said, tears now falling rapidly. “Why aren’t they staring at us? Why aren’t they angry with me? I just left a pony when she needed me! I said I’d never do it again, and I did! I was there and I could have helped her, but I didn’t!”

Even Hope’s tears had ceased to be crystalline by now.

“Just calm down, Hope,” the mayor said. “It’s been very tough on you, too. You can’t blame yourself because your body has limits, the same as anypony. You have to be understanding toward yourself.”

“Understanding?” Hope yelled. “She’s dead, because of me! And I could have saved her, but I didn’t! Just like with Sombra! How can I ever make it up to him when I keep doing it to ponies?”

“Who’s Sombra?” Oriflamme asked.

That name seemed to have a magical effect on Hope. She no longer shrieked and wailed. She became still and silent. Thoughtful. Brooding.

Oriflamme was not sure why, but she let Hope go. She even took a few steps to the side, so that Hope stood alone.

“You want to know who I am?” Hope said quietly. Oriflamme did not like the tone of her voice.

“I’m the pony that destroyed the Crystal Empire.”

The mayor’s usually unflappable features started to change. Her eyes narrowed and her jaw dropped a little. “What are you saying, Hope? The Crystal Empire is–”

“Gone! All gone! Because of me!”

“How could one pony destroy a whole city?”

“He did. And it was my fault.”

Oriflamme shook it off, as though coming out of a dream herself. “Hope, you’re tired and you’re upset. You don’t know what you’re saying. Come on, let’s get you back to the inn. A few hours’ sleep and a nice meal will make things seem better.”

Hope at first did not respond. Oriflamme was not even certain that her remarks had been registered. Then Hope suddenly, awkwardly, turned.

“No, no, we can’t,” Hope said. “There’s more ponies… more ponies need me…. The plague… I have to stop the plague! Where’s the next outbreak?”

“There’s… none reported yet.”

“But there will be! Every death is followed by a new outbreak! It’s going to happen again! We have to find those poor ponies! Time is running out! Every moment wasted if a life lost!”

So saying, Hope charged off in the direction she was facing. To her misfortune, in that direction also stood one of the larger hovels in the vicinity. Larger, and surprisingly sturdy. Hope practically seemed to bounce off of it before falling to the ground.

“Yeah, and you want to be a princess….” Oriflamme muttered.

Just then, another voice said, “And what do we have here?”

Oriflamme closed her eyes. “How does he do it?” she asked. “How does he constantly manage to pick the worst possible moment to appear? I swear, he should have a cutie mark for inserting himself into difficult situations and making them impossible.”

Sure enough, when she opened her eyes, there was Fallen Fortune.

“I was just taking my morning stroll, and what do I see?” he said. “Why, our resident miracle worker laying down on the job.”

“Not now, Fortune,” said the mayor.

But Fortune was undaunted. “And there’s just been a death, judging from the smell. But I guess you have nothing better to do than lay around and relax while others suffer.”

“Fortune, be quiet!” the mayor ordered.

Still, it had no effect on Fortune. “Tell me, do you also take naps while your charges are dying?”

There was a blue pop of light. Radiant Hope was now standing directly in front of Fallen Fortune. The look in her eyes was enough to cause Fortune to brace himself.

“Do you have any idea how much I’m trying to save everypony?” she snapped. “Do you? Have you been there when I’ve done everything I can to heal them, and I still lose them? Oh, I know you like to show up every so often and mock me, but did you ever stay to see what I was doing? When you were the main physician, did you ever even stay then?”

“Are you crazy?” Fortune said. “Those ponies had plague! You want me to subject myself to that?”

Hope let out a long, deep growl.

Fortune took a few steps back. But Hope took as many forward, and was still on top of him.

“Do you even know what it’s like? Do you know what it’s like to try and save them, day after day, and to fail? To do nothing but fail, after you’ve tried your hardest and your best? To fail, even though this is your special talent, what you’re best at in the world? And then, to know you can save one pony, if you just are there when you’re needed? But you’re not there, and you lose that pony! You lose that pony and your home and everything you ever cared about, because you weren’t there when he needed you!”

Fortune looked over to Oriflamme. “So, I understood roughly half of that, but she lost me near the end. Do you know what she is saying?”

“Not really,” the mayor responded.

“So it’s not just me,” said Fortune. “That’s reassuring.”

Hope let out another growl and shoved her face into Fortune’s. “You have absolutely no idea what it’s like! And you have no right to judge me!”

Fortune, instinctively, lit up his horn for a defensive spell. Hope acted quickly. A blue blast tore into Fallen Fortune at point-blank range and sent him flying. He too ended up crashing into a hovel. This one, however, was not so sturdy; Fortune flew right through the wall.

“That’s enough!” Oriflamme shouted, stepping in front of Hope.

A large crowd was beginning to form around the ruckus.

“Nothing to see here,” Oriflamme said. “Go back to what you were doing.”

The crowd did not disperse.

“Anypony who lingers gets a day in the cells,” the mayor announced.

That was enough. The crowd dispersed.

Fallen Fortune pulled himself out of the hovel. As he stumbled the mayor and Hope, he wiped his black robe with his hoof.

“I should stop wearing such expensive vestments,” he said. “Do you know how hard gruel is to get out of silk?”

Looking to Hope, he said. “As for you, I hope you’re proud of yourself. You just deprived one very short-tempered old stallion of his morning meal!”

Hope just glared at him.

“I said, that’s enough!” Oriflamme said, stepping in between them. To Hope, she said, “I’m personally going to take you back to the inn, where you will take a warm bath, eat a decent meal, and get a reasonable amount of sleep.”

“But what if there’s another plague victim to tend to?” Hope asked.

“You can tend to them once you’ve slept,” responded the mayor. “Since they only ever die between midnight and three in the morning, I’m sure they’ll keep until you’re rested.”

“But, we don’t know that! We can’t just–”

“You can’t do anything! Look at you! You’re in no fit state to help anypony. If you don’t want to rest for yourself, then do it for the ponies you’ll be better able to serve once you’ve recuperated.”

Hope fell silent.

“Of course, while she’s thus disposed,” Fortune said, “I’d be happy to help those poor unfortunates. I never need rest, after all.”

Oriflamme turned on Fortune. The look of anger in her eyes put that which he had previously seen in Hope’s to shame.

“As for you,” she said, “I’m having you put in the stocks for a few hours.”

“On what crime?”

“How about fraud, deceit, multiple lewd comments to upstanding mares of the community, not listening to the commands of the mayor, and making me late for the trial at which I am the judge? That last one, I think, counts as contempt of court.”

“But… but… I–”

“Any further objections and I’m confiscating all your wealth and property. I’ve had enough of you and your antics, Fortune. I may not be able to banish you, but if you keep up like this, you’ll wish I could.”

Fallen Fortune dropped his head. “You’re the mayor….” he said weakly.

“That I am, and don’t you forget it,” Oriflamme said. “Now, both of you, come with me.”

Putting one wing around each, with Hope too tired to resist and Fortune too frightened, she led them along, one toward the inn and the other toward the stocks.

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Where would Radiant Hope and Fallen Fortune's disparate paths take them?

Read on.