Chapter 2: The Reunion
“All right everypony lets go save Rainbow Dash!” Yelled Twilight Sparkle at the group of volunteers.
Twilight’s plan was to go in groups of four. One unicorn in front while flanked by two earth ponies. A pegasi up above the tree canopy so they know where each of the other groups are.
They plan on scanning the entire forest for Rainbow Dash their lost friend. The princess even sent royal guard to scout ahead and clear the forest of any dangerous animals that may approach the search and rescue teams.
After the first day of searching they hunkered down into a camp when the group met up.
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Rainbow wakes up the next morning and tries to get up. Only to find a pain shoot through her that wakes up Spell Tome who found his way closer too her…Really close to her. In fact they both seemed to have migrated closer to each other over the night.
“Umm dude?” Said Rainbow.
“Oh hi. Yea this is weird…Maybe the connection didn’t exactly give our bodies the message and we migrated closer together in the night.”
“You sure you just don’t like to cuddle.” Said Rainbow with a mischievous smile.
“Hey I didn’t plan this!”
“WHOA! Umm awkward.” At first Spell Tome didn’t know what Rainbow was talking about until he notice a jabbing sensation followed by pain near Rainbow’s lower body…And his own.
“Oh fuck.”
“Why is it so warm?” Rainbow whispered.
“Umm blood flow…Sorry about that, humans have that every morning…Yea remember when I said it would get awkward?”
“Umm yea I get it now.”
“D-does it bother you?”
“To be honest…No it actually feels a little natural.”
“Not what I expected you to say. Ok well I’d best be fixing you up now. I understand your anatomy a lot better now.”
“Spell Tome.”
“Yea?”
“Get off.” She said with a scowl
“Yes ma’am.” He gets up out of bed.
Spell Tome walks over to his staff and picks it up. He then stands over Rainbow on the side of the bed and uses healing magic to fix up the remaining damaged area’s of her body.
“Ok now what’s MCP?”
“Multi Colored Pony.”
“Well you guessed what I was correctly. Are you a human?”
“YUP! How’d you know?”
“Lyra talks about them all the time.”
“What she say.”
“Something about being hairless, having hands, walking on two legs. You fit that description mostly well. You’re not EXACTLY hairless.”
“Nope. Now try to walk around.”
Rainbow gets out of the bed and starts to walk around. Satisfied with everything being in place she starts to fly around.
“Whoa you can fly?”
“Wait didn’t we go over this?”
“Just checking…”
“Sure you were.”
“Shut up I saved your life!”
“And I’m thankful. Hey why did you save me anyway?”
“Because I wanted to fit in with the indigenous population and if that meant gaining ones favor by saving a life then so be it. Also I needed a translator. You can understand me because the meaning of words is being transferred between us.”
“Transferred? So you mean that I’m the only one who can understand you?”
“Yup. And I expect you to tell me what other people say to me while I’m here. It’s the least you can do after I saved your life.”
“Well ok I agree. But you’d better not pull anything funny ok?”
“Why would I? I went through so much trouble to become part of your society so why would I jeopardize it by pulling anything funny?”
“Well…I don’t know! You’re still not trustworthy to me.”
“I’m ok with that. As long as you’re my guide. Now we best be heading back to wherever you’re from.”
“Ponyville.”
“Wow creative.”
“Thanks it’s a nice place.” She missed his sarcasm.
Spell Tome goes over to a dresser on the right side of his bed and pulls it out. He looked inside and found several robes. Three different types though. One was black and lined with golden silk. Another was green and also lined with golden silk. The last was red…lined with golden silk. He noticed the reoccurring theme of his wardrobe and only took the time to ponder it now.
“Hey what are those?”
“My robes. Best for using magic because they restrict my movement and allow me to rely on my other senses to understand the world around me.”
“Umm OK? How does that help you?”
“It’s complicated.”
“See was that so hard?”
“Well for you maybe.”
“Hey shut up and pack up. I want to go home.”
Spell Tome looks through the wardrobe picks out the green robes. They match his new staff and its bark exterior, conveying his abilities with plants. Or was the misleading image it gave off. He wanted to stray away from the idea that he can do death magic.
He then puts his backpack on and starts to head out of the tent when Rainbow stops him.
“Hey Spell Tome?”
“Yea?”
“Why don’t you leave the backpack in the tent? Wouldn’t it stay here like all the other furniture?”
“…”
“You didn’t even think of that did you?”
“See this connection is beneficial.” Said Spell Tome with a grin as he puts down his backpack on the bed. “Ok now let’s get going.”
“You’re not a very smart human are you?”
“Hey I didn’t go to school but I can at least read!” There was a long pause while Rainbow looked unimpressed. “AND SHOOT LIGHTNING!”
“I’d like to see that.”
Then Spell Tome realized he was hungry…And so was Rainbow. “Hey eat some of that wolf stuff its good for you.”
“What? NO IT’S NOT!”
“Eat it. You’re a herbivore so you can eat plants.”
“I…Those are made of plants?”
“Yea how else did you not die from the insides I gave you?”
“Forced me.” She glared at him.
“Be happy you’re alive.”
“F-fine I’ll…go get more.” She struggled to build up the courage to eat more of the Timber Wolf corpse but eventually she dove in. Feeling her eat and enjoying the taste of plant material going down your throat…It was an enlightening experience for Spell Tome to know what it would be like to only eat plants.
Rainbow rose up out of her morally incorrect meal and notice Spell Tome was hungry too. “Why don’t you try it?”
“I’m not a herbivore like you. I’m an omnivore. I eat meat and plant. Though since I eat both I’m restricted to types of meat and plant…well not meat actually I can eat almost any meat but I’d rather not eat meat unless it’s cooked.”
“Huh ok. Well to be honest I want to know what you meat eaters see in…well meat.”
“I’ll gladly oblige to that curiosity when I find something to eat.”
Rainbow was finished for now. They head out of the tent and Spell Tome folds it up. Tree staff at his side and a soul of the hunter with him he was able to find a way toward ‘hunting grounds’ and steer clear of those.
“So Rainbow do you know where Ponyville is?”
“No. I didn’t get a good look at where it was.”
“It’s ok. Let’s separate. You go that way I go this way. We won’t get lost from each other because of our connection. And trust me it is a very long distance connection. There was a story of a person on another planet and could tell you exactly what the other person was doing.”
“Whoa so that means I can fly in any direction without worry of getting lost?”
“Yup! Go ahead and run off. I’ll try to find which way is north and head that direction.”
“Hey one sec. If you’re good at casting spells and stuff why didn’t you just heal me with a magic spell?”
“Spell magic and elemental magic are two different things. Spell instantly effect what you cast it on. Elemental effect a target over time, sometimes that time is quick and others its slow. But elemental magic you need to understand the workings of the element to be able to us it right. Like how I couldn’t heal you too fast because I didn’t know what you were made of and stuff like that.”
“Ok?”
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(Last night)
The first night of searching for Rainbow was uneventful and the rescue team gave up and camped out the night. Guards where posted to keep watch at night until it was time to head back out in the morning.
“I hope Rainbow’s ok.” Said Twilight to her group of friends as they set up their sleeping bags.
“Aw don’t worry Twilight. I’m sure she’s just fine.” Said Pinkie Pie.
“But it worries me that she hasn’t flown back on her own. Maybe she got lost or can’t move!”
“Twilight darling, we can’t do her any good by worrying now can we? Let’s just hope she’s ok and we can find her. Rainbow’s a strong individual and she’d never let anything get the best of her.” Said Rarity trying to quell Twilight’s worries.
“Yea! Rainbow is super duper awesome! She’ll find a cloud to rest on or a tree branch so nothing could get to her!” Said Pinkie reassuringly.
“Y-you’re right Pinkie. I shouldn’t be worried about Rainbow. She probably doesn’t know which way Ponyville is. I did see her tumble a lot so maybe she’s just disoriented or something.”
With that everypony goes into silence thinking about the terrible things that could have happened to their friend. No pony wants to think of the worst, but it’s unavoidable.
The next day everyone wakes up with the rise of the sun. All the volunteers are in their groups and return to formation while scanning the forest. A few hours into their search and they find something…
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Rainbow soared above the tree canopy and beyond the clouds looking down at the world trying to find something that resembled a town…Nothing. She speeds over to what she believes is the west and continues to search the Everfree for something familiar. About an hour of flying west she sees a line of pegasi in the air looking down.
Rainbow is delighted and rushes over to a pegasi. This particular one was cross eyed.
“DERPY!!!” Yelled Rainbow Dash as she speeds over to her.
“R-Rainbow?” Said Ditzy.
*slam*
Rainbow crashes into Ditzy out of joy and hugs her. “Where are my friends?”
“Five pegasi over to the left. It’s good to see you again Rainbow.”
“Thanks. Didn’t know you would go out of your way to brave the Everfree for me.”
“We were all worried Rainbow. I’ll go call the search off saying we found you.”
“Thanks I’ll be right back.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miles back Spell Tome continues to walk in his direction until he feels Rainbow’s joy. Then she seemed to be touching another creature similar to her.
‘She found them.’ Spell Tome turns to meet up with Rainbow back at the safety of ‘Ponyville’ when he noticed some strange aura coming from his staff.
“What the fuck?” He said as the core starts to glow a bright green and it summons Timber wolves from the ground. Their claws were first to rip out of the ground and move earth out of the way to expose the rest of their bodies.
“Oh fuck.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rainbow finds Fluttershy hovering over the rest of her friends. When she sees Rainbow she starts to tear up and rush over to her.
“RAINBOW!” said Fluttershy
“HUH?” Said a series of voices below her.
“Hey guys!” Yelled Rainbow.
“Rainbow you’re ok!” Said Twilight.
“Yea don’t worry Twilight I’ve got help.”
“Beg yer pardon?” Said AJ
“What do you mean by help?” Started Rarity. “Did you run into a pony who helped you?”
“He’s not exactly a pony Rarity. And he’s actually a few miles east right now. He’ll catch up.”
“OOOOO does that mean I get to throw a party?!”
Rainbow chuckles. “Yea! He did kinda save my life.”
“How’d he save ya?” Said Applejack.
“Umm. Well when I hit the ground I was kinda crippled…And I lost my left wing. He knows healing magic so he was able to fix me up real good.”
“I really doubt that Rainbow. I’ve never heard of healing magic that can do that.” Said Twilight. “Maybe magic that has a chance to cure colds but never have I heard of any magic that can reattach limbs.”
“Well I did say he wasn’t a pony.”
“Not a pony?”
“Yea and he has a staff that does magic.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘Whoa that’s not funny.’ Thought Spell Tome as he looks at the Timber wolves who are now approaching him.
“Back away!” They did started to back up while facing him. They weren’t growling so they didn’t seem interested in being aggressive.
“Whoa…Umm come forward?” Again they comply and start heading toward him.
“Stand at attention!” They puff up their chests in a single file line. ‘This is cool I guess…I don’t need them but why not?’ Spell Tome looks amongst them and finds a particularly larger one amongst them. ‘The alpha.’
“I’m riding you to our destination.” It bows its head and awaits Spell Tome to mount up. Spell Tome looks around to find any vine to use as a harness of some sort so he doesn’t fall off.
‘Wait can’t I just make one?’ he thought.
Spell Tome made plants as his first experiments with life magic. Plants don’t scream when you force them to grow…
“Wait hold on…If I want to show off being a mage I got to look the part right?” He said while making the tent again.
When he was done he went inside and grabbed a few black gloves and put them on. He then put the hood over his head and used magic to make light not reflect off surfaces around his face so he looked faceless when you look into the hood.
“This might be counter productive, but hell I look cool.” He now looked like a typical mage with plant magic.
He went out of the tent were the pack waited for him and he started to grow vines near by with magic. They grew several feet long and he wrapped them around the alpha’s mouth like a muzzle and then he wrapped them on his back so he could carry the tent.
“All right we’re off!”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Hold on Twi maybe I can get him to do something to prove to you he exists…” She scans the area around her.
“Oh I’d love to see this.” Said Twilight in a know it all manor.
“Ok then.” She spots something she was looking for…A cloud. She flies up to it and touches it and she could feel Spell Tome physically stop out of confusion.
“HEY SPELL TOME! SHOOT LIGHTNING!” She kicks the cloud and it shoot a lightning bolt to the ground.
*Crack*
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“D-does she expect me to make a…whatever she touched?”
*Crack*
“Thunder?” He said while mounting the Alpha once again. “Shit I can do that.”
He concentrates on his staff and it goes from a green soul of nature to a white element of thunder.
*CRACKLE BOOOM CRACKLE*
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“WHAT WAS THAT?!” exclaimed Twilight.
“That was Spell Tome’s elemental magic.” Said Rainbow.
She just noticed her friends mouths open and practically on the floor. Other than Pinkie who was unusually giddy.
“I THINK THIS CALLS FOR A THANK YOU FOR SAVING RAINBOW AND YOU KNOW HOW TO SHOOT LIGHTNING PARTY!” exclaimed the excited mare.
Rainbow Chuckled. “Wait till you see him. He’s pretty cool.”
“Y’all be crazy if ya think I’d agree to this!” Said Applejack. “If yer friend has powers and such why you leading him to Ponyville with that lightning Dash? You said yerself that it ain’t a pony! What if it’s some kinda monster!”
“Monster isn’t far off. But it’s not dangerous. ‘HE’S’ not dangerous.”
“Well all right then, but ah ain’t gunna let my guard down ok? Now come on let’s head home.”
“I hope your friend is well mannered.” Said Rarity.
“Well I hope not. I don’t want another Rarity. Ones enough.” Rarity glares at dash and she responds by laughing.
“I-I hope your friend I-isn’t too scary.” Said Fluttershy.
“Don’t worry Fluttershy…He is.”
“Oh I-I-I-“
“Fluttershy it’s a lot better for you to know he’s scary looking before you meet him so you don’t run at the next terrifying creature that…Wait is he riding Timber wolves?”
All her friends look at her confused as she faces the direction she came from.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The wolves were fast. Faster than any other creature he’s seen. They easily got up to 40mph and dodged every single root that jutted out of the ground just waiting to hinder a traveler.
He got closer and closer to the group of what he believed were ponies and he was just a mile away now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rainbow explained the situation to everypony and no one really believed it. Though Lyra got excited when she said it was a human magic user. They all heard the elemental magic that the unknown creature cast and most, if not all, were scared of the idea to just wait while this ‘thing’ catches up.
What brought people to calmness was the fact the Royal Guard were still protecting the group and they would defend them if ever this creature was hostile.
“Umm Rainbow?” Said Applejack. “Yer sure he don’t eat meat?”
“Oh he eats meat. Like a griffon. But he also can eat certain plants if he wants to.”
“Y-y’all are crazy Dash! If he eats meat then that means he eats us!”
“He had the chance to eat me, but he didn’t. So I trust him not to eat anyone.”
“Maybe he just wanted teh getcha to lead him to Ponyville so he can EAT ponies!”
The thought ran through Rainbow’s head and she realized that was a very real possibility.
“I-I didn’t think about that…B-but if its true we can’t do anything to stop him…H-he’s too powerful.”
“What do yeh mean too powerful?” Said Applejack accusingly.
“H-he knows almost every type of magic. He has more magic than Twilight.”
Twilight looked unimpressed. She still didn’t believe that Rainbow met a human that could do more magic than she could.
“Umm guys…” Said Rainbow Dash. “He’s here.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spell Tome moved into the open area where there seemed to be many different types of ponies. Though he realized how much of an oddity Rainbow was since she was the color of the rainbow and the rest seemed to have a color scheme of at the very least two colors. What really got him was the terrified faces of most of them.
“Umm…Hi?”
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I freakin love this
Edit: Screw First
I think you mean a "teeter-totter," more formally known as a see-saw.
The critique that follows is something I don't normally do for the multitude of other stories out there with poorly-written descriptions, but the "titter-totter" remark caught my attention and got me to read the rest of your description. While it may sound shallow, or perhaps even unnecessarily harsh, the description told me enough about what I would find inside that I didn't even need to read the actual story to know exactly what sort of problems affected it. This is consistent with reader behavior in general. Actually clicking on the first chapter only confirmed my suspicions.
Allow me to qualify this with the fact that you are far from being the only one guilty of such literary indiscretions; these are all quite common in fanfiction as a whole, which is why only a tiny fraction of fanfiction ever actually becomes popular.
I could comment on grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure, but you're already aware of these issues, and to do so would essentially require re-writing the whole thing. If you really want to improve in this regard, there are plenty of free resources available, but it will require a lot of time and effort on your part. Even the sections on academic writing can help immensely with effective creative writing.
Now for the meat and potatoes.
In writing fanfiction, it is very risky to attempt an OC who is capable of overshadowing a canon character who has already been established as one of the best in his or her field; it's downright dangerous when the OC is not only specifically intended to do so, but is also directly compared to the canon character in question. Typically, this results in a variation of what is known as a Mary Sue, which is generally considered to be poor form when writing a story; in fact, it is one of the leading factors in a fanfiction being poorly received. It can be done well under certain circumstances, but only experienced writers ever manage to pull it off with anything better than mixed reactions from readers; even then, by the very definition of the concept, the character will typically cease to be a straight-up Mary Sue if it's been done well enough.
For example, towards the end of Allegrezza, there is a scene involving a highly skilled dressmaker in Canterlot who isn't Rarity. Her prowess and technique are described as nothing short of exceptional; the dresses she makes, without equal. However, in addition to being an original side character created solely for that scene, there are absolutely no comparisons drawn between this dressmaker and Rarity, despite residing within the same story universe. Within context, there's simply no need to draw any comparisons, and this is specifically by design. The effective description conveys enough on its own about just how good she is, without having to rely upon comparisons to any other character.
A character's abilities should speak for themselves; there's a reason why some canon characters are considered among the best at what they do, or are otherwise unique. To lessen such distinctive traits is to cheapen all of the characters involved, which only serves to break down the reader's willing suspension of disbelief. This is why alicorn OC's are almost universally frowned upon, as are most other OC's with outlandish color schemes and other features that don't fit in with the style of the show (or are otherwise inconsistent within an established story universe). A character is not made "unique" merely by having a competitive list of features, be they good or bad (usually, only good); rather, doing so only guarantees a position among the multitudes of other "competitively unique" characters out there just like it.
You can have a Jack-of-All-Trades (a master of none).
You can have an Ace of One Trade.
But you cannot introduce a new "Ace" that bumps down the established definition of an Ace down to a Jack of One Trade.
That would just be winning Rock, Paper, Scissors by using a raygun that can beat all three. It's inherently unbalanced, unfair, uninteresting, and unfun for everyone.
It's a lesson that most people fail to actually learn from, even if they think they get it. You're far from being the only one.
793190
...C-can you summarize that? O.o
I think when I was talking about 'Cannon' I was refering to my own story? umm what? hold on um...can you tell me whether or not I suck? Because I can't deside whether or not you're trying to help me or just shoot me down in some way.
798579 It's a bit of both. Basically, this story isn't very good at all. The character isn't much of a character; what he is and his reason for existing in the first place is something that people do not enjoy (hint: "And how he could show up Twilight Sparkle with magic." is a big part of the problem). You haven't yet figured out how to come up with an OC that people would actually want to read about, it seems. Looking at some of the other "Specialists" stories you've written, they all fall into the same boat. The characters are not necessarily all bad for the same reasons, though; however, they do all seem to be rather bland and uninteresting. The differences between them are trivial and uninspired. If you clicked the link to see what a Mary Sue is, and read through the article, you'll understand a bit more as to why people hate such characters.
So yes, I guess I am shooting you down in that regard, but I was trying to do so lightly. Just because you're not good at it now (yes, I guess you "suck"), doesn't mean you can't get better at it in the future (I'd rather help you get better than make you give up writing). The post was basically trying to explain exactly why what you're doing isn't a very good idea. Given your response, though, I have to ask: is English not your native language? I'm sorry if it's a bit hard to understand what I write, I have a lot of difficulty with trying to keep things simple.
For help improving your writing (grammar and sentence structure), you'll need to work hard. I suggest signing up for a free account here, and taking all of those quizzes to figure out what you need help with. There is even a section devoted to understanding English as a second language, which might be a good place to start even if it is your native language. Each answer you give will tell you exactly why the answer you chose was right or wrong. It will take a lot of time, but it will help make you a better writer if you read the explanations. All of the resources on that page are free, you don't need to buy the textbook; you just need to make a free account so it can keep track of your quiz scores. This website is another free resource I find to be very helpful with learning and understanding writing concepts; I've been using it myself for the better part of 10 years now. Even though these websites tend to focus on writing essays, even the sections that focus on Academic writing can really help when writing stories; writing good essays and writing good stories have a lot in common.
For improving the actual stories you're trying to write, I suggest spending a lot of time on TV Tropes learning about different types of characters and story elements so you can build better original characters to use in your stories. A good way to do this is to take characters and stories you already know from TV, movies, and books, and try to figure out what "tropes" they use and why; each trope has a long list of examples to help better understand how it's used.
I'm sorry, I don't know how to make it any simpler than this while still trying to help you.
798748
Thank you.
English is my first language but when I was young I had. (of lack of better words) some sort of reading impediment. I remember in first grade that I couldn't understand the concept of puting 'spaces' between words. Or I just ignored the reasoning behind it so i could write faster. Later on i learned to read a lot better with a tutor. That's the best I can do with explaining why I'm bad and such. It's a merical that I found an interest in 'writing' on fimfiction at all! And frankly I enjoy it :D
Thanks for the links they will help.
798807
"Thank you. English is my first language, but when I was young, I had a lot of trouble with reading. In first grade, I didn't really understand the reasons for putting spaces between words, and I tended to ignore them so I could write faster. Later on, a tutor helped me learn to read a lot better. That's the best I can do to explain why writing is difficult for me. It's a miracle I even got interested in writing fanfiction for FIMFiction at all, and quite frankly I really enjoy it! Thanks for the links, I'm sure they will help."
FTFY (Fixed that for you) for direct comparison. By the way, I commend you for taking the spell-checker's advice for using "a lot" correctly; many people don't even realize that "alot" isn't a real word, and that "allot" means something else entirely.
In response: You're very welcome! It would serve no purpose to give an honest, negative opinion of your work if I did not also provide the reasons why and the means to improve upon it.
A simpler translation: "It's pointless to say something sucks without saying why and how you can make it better." This simpler version gets the point across just fine; but the original version is much more precise, much more interesting to read, and the way it's written implies much more about my intent. It just doesn't feel right to me when I try to write it more simply, even though it says the same thing and is just as correct, even though it's less formal.
Think about what Twilight said in the first episode: "…that we are on the precipice/threshold/brink of disaster," = "…that something really bad is about to happen!"
It was through 7 years of completely insane English teachers in middle school and high school that I learned how to write the way I do. It also takes a lot of understanding of how other people write when you're reading their work. The more you read things carefully and figure out how they put it all together, the more sense it makes in how to put things together yourself. Of course, that doesn't mean I don't still make mistakes sometimes; the ones I make just tend to be a bit more technical and easier to overlook.
799245
LOL its ok I know alot isn't a word. but hey were you or are you in AP english? Cuz if you didn't get in AP engilsh I will kill off Fluttershy...Ok that was a little brutal :o
Kill off Rainbow...(Again)
I love Rainbow :D
Its easy to get her to go off on her own and end up dead :D
She's just built to cause as much disaster as Twilight with her...Eugh...interdimentional spells
Yea I hate to start a story off like that. I understand why because its an easy explanation but ITS WAY TO SIMPLE. I would rather have the human go to the ponies because I find that much cooler...Not that it has anything to do with our conversation
(What the fuck did i just trail off?)
799245
oh wait you weren't GOWAHWHAHWLJFLKASD
Yea I did take spell checkers advice :D
Yea I just had to reread your comment to figure it out
799540 Yup, I took "honors" English for the first two years in HS, then AP English Literature junior year, then AP English Language senior year, since that was the course progression they offered. I was still in middle school when we had to read The Odyssey, a handful of Shakespeare's plays, and other works of classic literature; having to learn how to read such old forms of writing and actually understanding them was a challenge that really helped in the long run. All that said, my college doesn't accept AP English credits, so I still got stuck taking English Composition. It's all good, though; it's making me go back over the actual definitions and rules of composition, rather than relying on gut instinct and experience like I've done in the past. The hardest part about this course for me, though, is that our target for all of our papers is "only" 250-500 words. My first comment to you was longer than that.
That website with all the quizzes is the companion site to our textbook, which is an amazingly detailed and well-organized resource, but it costs $65. The Perdue OWL website was what I was introduced to back in middle school when we first started having to use MLA formatting for our papers, and it's also been kept fairly up-to-date since then.
You can see how all of that training ruined me, though. It's very hard for me to have an actual discussion online without typing out 500+ word posts. Now if only I could do the same to meet the minimum length requirements on some of my technical papers! (They can be very, very long.)
Being able to write well is a very important skill to have, especially once you enter the workforce; effective communication is key. I don't know what grade you're in right now or if you've already graduated, but either way I hope you take this opportunity to study hard to improve this vital skill set as best you can. As I said before, it will take a lot of time and effort to work your way through all of that material, especially taking all of those quizzes (and I do hope you take all of them!). Once you do, though, the payoff will be well worth it, whether it be an improvement in your grades (not only in English, but in any other class where you need to write a paper) or an improvement in your suitability for employment.
Fun fact: My father has both my mother and me look over and edit the monthly client newsletters for his company…though he certainly wouldn't tell his colleagues that! I even caught him when he was sending a revised newsletter to his co-worker for further feedback. The way he worded the email seemed fine at first glance, but I had to warn him what it actually implied was that he was giving free reign over any future revisions to his co-worker, when what he intended was only to ask for further feedback and suggestions. The specific wording of just one sentence was the difference between keeping control over the final document his clients would see, and potentially handing it off for someone else to do with as they saw fit, whether he agreed with the changes or not. That is why effective writing skills are so important; little things can make a huge difference in understanding.
800029
LOL shit dude. writing sounds a lot like art right now. Art can be anything but just little details can mean an entirly different meaning to the peice in question. just a simple angle on the head could represent sorrow or pride.
Frankly I don't want to get into writing. More as a past time activity for me. Though I will check out those links to see what I can learn from them.
Actually I more try to treat my writing like art rather than a story :/ I rely on people's imagination to fill in the faces of my text. You notice the lack of words that represent who's talking in some? That's because I'm using a pattern to show who's talking. Twilight and Rainbow to Twilight and Rainbow without saying who's who. Also I rely on the dialog to show who each character is as well. Like for example.
"That's mighty fine sugarcube."
We know that's applejack. So why say so when the messege is clearly already sent?
To be honest I think I'm clever with doing this. It allows me to continue conversations between characters before forgetting what they are talking about and having to go back and reread. Though the only problem with this method I use is that sometimes when I want to portray movement It ends up sounding like.
They walk...
dialog
dialog
they're there.
Leading to a very VERY boring scene...GAAAAAAAAAW I hate that. But alas it is what I have to work with for now :/
I know no other writing method and I sure as hell won't take on that...Eugh pragraph form
Not like your paragraph form but when the diolog is in the paragraph. That is good for giving details in the scene but it will take time out of the interesting conversations that characters have with each other. In real life people talk A LOT to each other after a sit down. especially women! So I find it important to us my writing style to allow for these coversations to come to the front and be noticed by EVERYONE because that is the story. My plot requires character involvement with another character. like how Rainbow is forcibly intimatly connected with Spell Tome. This forces conversation between them to an all time high because she becomes his translator. (You may not know that if you haven't read it) Eventually the stress will be expressed by Rainbow Dash and then...PLOT! That's all I'll say for what I have planned and why I'm doing what I do. Any more detail could reveal too much of the story to those who care.
So yea I believe I'm good when it comes to writing stories...Ok well that was more of an attempt to impress you
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D:
B-b-but first post
Warning: Incoming wall of text!
801941 Well yes, that's all true enough. Writing is an art.
That way of formatting dialogue is fairly common practice for the reasons you provided. When done properly, the reader can implicitly understand who is speaking, and it actually helps improve clarity. You'll find in those writing resources that, when writing dialogue, each time a different character is speaking, it should be in a new paragraph to denote a shift in attention within the scene. Writing multiple characters' dialogue within a single paragraph is indeed considered poor practice. However, when a single character has a lot that they need to explain verbally, not just for the other characters but for the readers as well, they just might have to go on speaking for several straight paragraphs.
However, you shouldn't rely too much upon having people's imaginations fill in the blanks you left behind. Show, don't tell. You are doing okay with showing sometimes, but more often than not, you're not giving enough information to actually paint the mental image you intend to convey to the reader. Of course, that requires that you even have a mental image of what's happening yourself. Good description creates immersion, which draws the reader into the story. The reader shouldn't have to imagine a scene from scratch. The description gives the reader the information they need in order to build the scene from ready-made components. Ikea doesn't expect you to go out, chop down your own wood and shape your own pieces before building a chair. They provide the pre-cut pieces and assembly hardware, and all you have to do is unpack the pieces (the description) from its flatpack box and then assemble it into a good-looking, sturdy chair (the mental image).
Try listening to A Prairie Home Companion, a radio show on NPR that airs on Saturday nights. When listening, you might notice the way in which the characters speak help a lot to convey mood and expression, but this is due in part to being greatly exaggerated for that exact purpose. They will sometimes subtly remark upon what another character is doing, or even outright ask them directly, even if it may have been obvious if we could actually see them doing it. Since they can't directly rely upon visuals to convey their stories, they have to use verbal intonation and clever descriptive tricks to paint the mental image.
In writing, you have the exact opposite problem. You don't have the ability to convey mood through sound and intonation; it's very much a visual medium. Text formatting and punctuation are visual tools that, when used properly, can help to convey emotion and tone; but they can only take you so far by themselves.
Even when people sit down and talk a lot, there is still a lot more going on besides just talking. If you ignore everything they're talking about, what are they actually doing? Try watching a sitcom without sound or captions. Watch what they're doing when they're just "sitting around, talking." Try to "read" their physical expressions and reactions (both facial and full body), the subtle movements they do that help them try to convey their point. A good actor does more than speak their part well. Acting is so much more than just speech.
Take Johnny Depp, for example. Captain Jack Sparrow is so much more than inane rambling and witty quips, and Willy Wonka is not merely defined by his curiously enunciated speech and disregard for what is considered to be socially normal and acceptable. The way each character carries themselves as they move about and perform actions says so much more about the character itself.
Unlike in comics and manga which can use pictures to show nearly all of this, you actually need to describe them with words, as if you were actually drawing comic panels by describing them through writing instead.
"Frankly I don't want to get into writing. More as a past time activity for me."
You may remember when I said, "Being able to write well is a very important skill to have, especially once you enter the workforce; effective communication is key." Creative writing (storytelling) as a hobby is a good way to practice, but you can't disregard just how much being able to write well can impact your future, no matter what you do. If you can write well, you can communicate well, not just in writing, but in speaking. If you can't communicate well with others, you'll have a hard time with work no matter what you do. Being able to write well helps you to better organize your thoughts and ideas in your head, and helps you figure out how to better present them to others (whether it be in written or spoken form) so that they can better understand what you're doing or what you're thinking. A good idea is useless to others if no-one else can understand what you mean by it. Almost any sort of office/desk job will heavily rely upon effective writing. Employers will give much more thought and consideration to a well-written job application and resume than one that is poorly written, even for jobs that don't require much writing at all. Being able to write well can make you much more attractive as an employee, because it means you can communicate well with others. Of course, it's a two-way street. You have to be a good listener, and be able to pick out the "subtext," or the meaning behind what people are saying; being good at reading also helps immensely with this.
To settle for less usually means to settle for menial, low-paying jobs in retail or food service. There's nothing wrong with taking those jobs as you work your way up from the bottom (like working your way up from the menial position of a cashier to the prestigious position of regional manager, franchise owner, business partner, etc.), but you shouldn't settle for sitting on the bottom rung for the rest of your life. Being able to read and write well unlocks opportunities; that's why we have public education in the first place. Certain groups of people used to be controlled by being deprived access to a basic education, being deprived of learning how to read and write and do math; this deprived them of the ability to better organize their thoughts and ideas and share them with others, which in turn hindered and discouraged attempts at breaking free from the control of their "superiors." Nowadays, people are still socioeconomically affected by the quality of their education (or lack thereof), but many more people now have access to the resources needed to take their education into their own hands and improve upon it for themselves.
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Yea I haven't really noticed the lack of detail IN the dialog that I write. You bring up an excilent point with the conversation thing...Actually just by reading your paragraph comment I feel smarter.
Thanks for pointing out my lack of detail where it is important because most of the time I don't really think of it. I try to add detail yet my experience and skills are just not honed enough at the moment to do anything drastic with my stories.
Oh hey based on your opinion does first person work better with discription of the environment than third?
Because first person you can add your characters commentary to the environment that gives you an idea of the area while being entertained. just giving little details again but you get what I'm going for right? "How shitty this toon tree looks with its fucking retarded redundancy in the fucking redundent forest. THESE GOD DAMN VINES ARE ALL UP IN MY GRILL! OH SHIT A PATH!"
Then there's third person. "This guy passes through the overgrowth with a great amount of difficulty. everything that seems to be growing off a plant finds a place on his body to latch onto making his gruling strugle to forge ahead that much more difficult. It was several moments before he found what looked like a path...
Wait scratch that third person is awesome :/ Well at least with my examples that is...Wait am I doing better with my third person example than I am in this story?