Rooms Of The House

by sleepyhead

First Thoughts After Falling Through The Ice

The only winter time Apple family reunion had happened when she was in high school. In the summer that preceded the event, Applejack’ mother had passed away. The funeral hadn’t been held with the Apples, but with the Oranges, which lead to several disputes between the two families, both thinking that they should be able to host. The Apples because of the relation the woman had had with the family for all the years she had; the Oranges was, of course do to blood connections.

Applejack had been working as a counselor at the camp she had attended since she was a filly. It was her second year working as a counselor. Camp was one of the only things that got her away from the farm work at home. AJ had, since her father’s death, become a bit of a recluse. She buried herself in her farm work and family. She skipped school most days, something that had gotten her held back a year.

Camp however was different. It was work, in many ways, but also a welcome distraction. She got to work with colts and fillies that had nothing to do with her home. And she got to spend time with Coloratura. Years later, when they met again, they both lied about the relationship that they had. When her mother passed away, all of those distractions were yanked away from her.

She returned from camp on a train the next day, and went to the funeral, where she and her siblings stood in a hot stuffy room in a funeral parlor in Manehattan, dressed in black ties and gowns. She can still remember how Big Mac cried throughout the funeral, so did Apple Bloom. Applejack couldn’t though. There was too much pride in her to cry.

The rest of the year had been spent sending letters to Coloratura, avoiding school, and doing more farm work. Winter and the arrival of her relatives had been something that she had, in many ways, been dreading. She didn’t want to reminders, and she certainly didn’t want the apologies that she would get. She hadn’t liked them when her father died either. It made her feel like everyone was pitying her. She didn’t need pity.

The day of the family reunion was sunny, late winter would soon be melting the snow, and the winter wrap up would commence. Applejack looked forward to the return of more regular farm work. It was still to cold to be out without her jacket though, and a scarf. The scarf was something her mother had given to her, and was now worn with use. She left the house that morning before anyone got there. She wrote a letter to Coloratura, explaining how she felt about the entire affair. They wrote each other every few days.

She was surprised when, at the mailbox she found a letter from the musical pony. She tossed her letter in the box. She blushed a bit, her body feeling hot and prickly. She would read it later. In secret. The relationship AJ and Coloratura shared was a secret. She wasn’t sure if her family would accept it, (She wasn’t sure if she accepted it) so she took care to only read her letters when she found alone time.

She placed the letter in the pocket of her jacket, and went out for the morning. She spent a bit of time with her acquaintance Rainbow Dash.
Applejack doesn’t remember what they did though, not anymore, it was a trivial moment compared to the rest of that day. She mostly them remembers getting a bit drunk with Berry Punch, before going home.

The Apple family had arrived by the time she returned and the snow covered farm was swarmed with her colorful relatives. She panicked, her heart rate increasing. She hadn’t seen any of them since her father’s funeral. She didn’t want to be pitied.

It happened though. It was Apple Fritter who starts it. Her slightly older cousin approaching her. “Hey AJ, long time no see, sorry ‘bout yer ma” Applejack remembers how hard it was to force that smile. Every ounce of her wanted to cry, or run away, or punch the other girl. Everything in her screamed fight or flight. She smiled though.

“Aw thanks Fritter, I ‘preciate the sentiment” She said. Applejack spent the rest of the day pretending the pity she was getting was worth it. She felt terrible, but she had since her mother’s passing really. She was thinking about death a lot, her own. Her families, Coloraturas. How many more ponies that she loved would she lose?

That evening she, her older brother, and several of their cousins got drunk on the cider reserve. The cellar was dark and cold, but the way the cider had warmed her body that night made it okay. Applejack wanted more booze when they were called up by one of her uncles. The family had started a bonfire, and everyone was ‘encouraged’ to join. She knew that this meant that she had to go.

Her insides felt hot and prickly for the second time that day, and she remembers the rest of the evening only in vignettes, mostly through what she had been told. She pieced it together well enough in her mind at least.

The bonfire was warm, and a couple of her cousins asked about walking across the lake to go and look in the grove of pine trees for more wood to burn. She knew that she shouldn’t have. She knew at the time that the lake wouldn’t have been sturdy enough. She had seen the ice cracking and thinning more every day. A new, light coating of snow made this hard to see.

“Yeah, I’ll do it. Fritter wanna come with me” She still isn’t sure why she choose Fritter. Was it a hope to get revenge for the apology? Had she wanted Fritter to witness anything bad that happened? Fritter agreed, and they silently walked onto the ice. AJ was too either too drunk to feel the ice as it started to crack, or she just didn’t care. Fritter had never known the feeling of thin ice cracking beneath her feet. She was naïve.

Applejack doesn’t remember the walk, but she remembers the feeling of her heart flying into her chest, when, at about half way through she felt her foot go through the ice. The icy water jolted her from her thoughts, she suddenly longed for the shore. “I think we need to turn around” She said, trying to stay calm.

Fritter stepped backwards, slowly. Her body moved slowly, a bit worried by the words of her cousins. Its Applejacks own step that ruins everything. Fritter yelled something as AJ fell through. But she wasn’t sure what it was.

Her entire world was changed in that moment. Her body was surrounded in water that was so cold it burned. Her head churned. Her body sunk, her scarf the only thing visible to her. The water stung her eyes and lungs as she gasped and struggled and swallowed water.

She was lucky that the lake wasn’t that deep. Her hooves hit the ground after a few moments, but she was in shock. Her thoughts turned to Coloratura. What would Coloratura think when she found out that her special somepony was dead. Coloratura had never faced the turmoil of death.

Applejack, in that moment, thought of her girlfriend. Coloratura had a niche for the dramatic, she was a stupid drunk. What if Coloratura got drunk before her funeral? What would Coloratura have done if she was the one standing with her? Her lungs burned, she felt numb. Maybe that was the reason why the orange earth pony started kicked up.

The next thing she remembered was standing by the fire. Her jacket and scarf were besides her. Her family watched her intently, no one knew what to say. Fritter was crying. She remembers throwing up icy water and cider while Granny Smith pats her back. “Better out than in” She said. Applejack remembers those words so distinctly, that even hearing them now brings her back to that night.

The fire burned hotly, but AJ couldn’t warm up. She remembered the letter. Coloraturas letter! It had been in her pocket. She reached for it, panicky still. She fumbled with it for a while before someone helped her. She doesn’t remember anymore who it was.

The letter is waterlogged, and when she ripped the envelope open, the soggy paper was weighted down. The ink had smeared and bled. If she wasn’t still drunk maybe she would have noticed it before she opened it up. The paper was a blotted mixture of light and dark blue splotches. It broke apart as she held it.

Maybe it had been for the better. AJ would later learn what the letter said. But that day added to the stress. She felt as though someone had compressed her shoulders. She still felt like she was choking. When she thinks back to that night, she can remember the feeling the cold water left on her warm insides.

She has nightmares still. Where Coloratura had watched her fall through. In these dreams she is a teenager again, and she struggles to stay alive. Usually she wakes up once her lungs are burning with waterlog. It is her least favorite dream. But she still jokes about the event every year at the family reunion.

Author's Note:

This has been done for a while, its mostly i just kept forgetting to get it proofed, lol.