Self-Defeat

by HeartGramHorse

Honorable Exit, Depressed Heart

It had been a couple days since Rainbow's surgery. Even though she was now allowed to walk around Ponyville freely, she still felt a little awkward with her new wing. It wasn't heavy at all, it was as light as her actual wing on her side had been, just really weird to have metal instead of feathers. She has been able to control the movement of the wing a lot more now. Her training had been rather successful with Nurse Redheart, and Spitfire to show her how to control the movements.

Rainbow was walking down Ponyville early that morning towards Twilight's castle. She hadn't been able to sleep, and the lone Pegasus had to take a walk from Sugar Cube Corner, where Pinkie Pie had put her up for the night. Today was the day of her honorable discharge from the Wonderbolts. Rainbow was trying not to think about it, but it soon became too overwhelming. Twilight knows how to help, she's always got great advice. She thought as she approached the castle door and knocked. Twilight answered almost immediately.

"Rainbow, surprised seeing you up this early." Twilight said as she motioned her friend inside.

"Well... I'm kind of lost at everything right now." Dash said as she sat down after she walked in.

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked quizically, with a confused expression.

"Well... today... welll... I..." Rainbow started letting loose some tears. "I get discharged today from the Wonderbolts."

Twilight, who walked around and sat by her friend, got a look of slight sadness upon her face too. This was Rainbow's dream. She had put so much effort into making herself able to get into the team.

"Rainbow, listen, I know it's hard to accept this. Come on though you still have a flying buddy." She wrapped her wing around the blue Pegasus. "Plus this new wing of yours is pretty cool looking."

"Twilight, you wouldn't know cool or awesome if it was written in a book in front of you right now you nerd." Rainbow snickered a little.

"Meh, books are books, we all have some fancy of fun. Rainbow, you are a strong mare. Don't let this defeat you. You will always be the best Wonderbolt in my heart. We all have sacrifices and things that make us upset, but you grow and become stronger from the experience."

"Feel free to stay as long as you like. Want some pancakes?"

"Nah, I'm just going to go into the spare room you have here and sleep for a little bit. Oh, Twilight. Thanks for being here." Rainbow turned and walked away stretching the metal and real wing at the same time.

Twilight smiled as she returned to the library where she did what she always did best, Study.

Later that afternoon Rainbow gave her first attempt at flying up to Cloudsdale for the ceremony. It was shaky and she spiraled out of control a few times, before she realized she had to fly about the same speed as Fluttershy. Everypony was already up in the stands. Rainbow took a moment to walk through the Wonderbolts Hall of Fame, and look at all the pictures of her and all the other amazing athletics in the hall. She turned into the locker room and went to her locker. She opened it up and sat down and looked at her uniform, goggles, and pictures of everything. Tears began rolling down her cheek, she spread both wings and looked disappointingly at her metal wing. It hurt her bad to see the future in front of her in her locker, then the new future with the wing. She would never be able to wear the uniform again.

Spitfire walked in. Saw Dash and walked over to her.

"Dash, the ceremony is about to begin." Spitfire said.

Rainbow just continued to stare at the uniform.

"Ma'am I feel horrible right now, I'm in a state of pain. How am I meant to be loyal to something that I was apart of for so long and just walk away with honor because of an issue with my wing? I don't understand it, and don't know if I ever will. I'm constantly thinking about this and it is becoming so depressing every day that comes and goes..." Dash told the captain.

"Rainbow, things are meant to happen for a reason, sometimes not understanding things at first is the best. As time goes on it will present itself as understanding later. You were one of the best we ever had, I'll miss your cool tricks and awesome thrills every single day. But, Dash this is no time to lose your heart. You must stay strong. With weakness, comes the courage to keep going to fight it and show your heart to Equestria about who you still are as a pony. Right now though we must get you to the ceremony." Spitfire finished, patting her close friend on the shoulder. Rainbow got up and followed her slowly behind.

"Wonderbolts have honor, pride, firmness and loyalty above most things. Speed is easy to find, but to have control and know your strengths is the hardest thing to find. Today, we honor a pony who was a beloved member of this team. A fierce competitor, and a wonderful example to many, as one of the most strongest and loyal ponies to fillies and gentle colts alike. This mare had the fiery rainbow across the sky and most amazingly the legendary rainboom. Please put your hooves together for Rainbow Dash!" Soarin stepped off the podium as the cyan pegasus stood up to the roaring cheers and hooves.

Rainbow was not feeling the happiness though, she stood there putting on a fake smile, and waving, while feeling the deep pressure of guilt still inside her heart.

"It has been a pleasure, to serve as one of the finest ace Pegasi in the sky. I had a lot of fun, and now it is time to step away due to the injury all of you know about." Rainbow finished, a tear starting to roll down her eye. Nothing she said was honest at all, and she felt like AJ was staring at her, burning into her soul as she stepped to the side as Spitfire and Soarin stepped back up the the microphone.

"Today a distinguished medal, goes to my friend of the sky here." Soarin opened a box. "For the fierce leadership in flight, and in battle, and the firmness and strength you have always held, we award Rainbow Dash the Purple Wing." Everypon was silent as Soarin took out the medallion and slipped it around Rainbow's neck. After he did that the whole stadium of Cloudsdale cheered her name and clapped for her.

Rainbow looked down at the purple and gold wing. Do I really deserve this? Rainbow started to think really hard and turned and trotted out slowly, in tears.