BAD INFLUENCES

by Ali Gonzheimer

The trip

THE TRIP

Later. It had been a while, and we were wandering along the woods, trying to find any kind of village, or someplace else; and at the same time, we were trying to avoid any other encounter with any other dragons.

“Hey, thank you for helping me with those dragons. I really thought I couldn’t count on you back there.” I said to Plumb Bob.

“No biggie.” He answered, as he was throwing away the leftovers of his apple. And after that, we both walked in silence for several minutes, until he suddenly spoke to me:

“By the way, you know you shouldn’t pretend to be asleep and spy on other ponies, right?”

And when I heard that, I quickly turned to look at him.

“I… Wha…?” I tried to articulate some words, but…

“Oh, don’t play innocent! I know you were spying on me last night.”

I have no idea how he noticed that, but then I started making up excuses automatically.

“I-It wasn’t my fault! I was asleep! And you woke me up! And… Wait… Who were you talking to, anyway?” But as soon as I asked it, he showed quite awkward. Then he paused for a moment, and started scratching his stubble a little, until he finally explained to me:

“I… often talk around other… ponies while they’re asleep. …It almost… You know… It almost feels like I’m having a real conversation.” He answered, with a practically tangible level awkwardness.

“Oh… well… It did seem like you were taking to another pony. But… Is it right if I ask you, who was it?” I asked him then.

And that question seemed to disturb him in that moment. Now… I’m maybe getting a little too much into this, but pandora’s box was already open, and I was not going to let this go so easily; then maybe I may get to see what’s inside this crazy flank pony’s mind. But nevertheless, he remained silent, during a more than awkwardly long moment. Then I finally understood that this had just been too much conversation, even for him. I seemed like he didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“It was my sister, alright! You happy?!” He suddenly said.

And now I’m surprised. I wasn’t expecting any answer.

“Y-you were talking… to your sister?” I asked then, still pretty confused.

“I was talking to my sister! My little sister! And you remind me a lot of her, you know?! Always getting into other ponies business, always worrying about other ponies before herself, always showing those useless good manners… and…” But then he simply stopped talking for a moment, and his expression changed drastically in that instant.

“…always telling me what to do… even if I didn’t want to, but at the end, I always ended up doing it. Because… she knew me better, than I knew myself…” Then he suddenly stopped walking. And after a few seconds, he simply said:

“…She was a saint.”

And just like that, he continued walking. His face expression went back to normal, and he kept acting like nothing happened. So I keep walking next to him, with a few more concerns, about his state of mind.

“Ok…?” I said, feeling absolutely confused.

But in that moment, my stomach started growling loudly.

“Uh… I’m starving.” I complained.

“I could eat.” He said.

“You just ate an apple!” I shouted him.

“I’m a big pony, Joy. A really, big, pony. And I need something more than an apple to kill this hunger… something like… that!” He suddenly said, as he was staring and pointing at a squirrel, which was on a bush. And then, he started drooling, while he was approaching to his clueless victim.

“C’mere little squirrel. I’m not going to hurt you.”

But then I stood between him and his prey.

“Hey! What are you doing? Did you completely lose your mind?! Ponies are not supposed to eat other animals!” I shouted him.

“But what if we are? …And what if they are making us think we’re supposed to be vegetarians, when we’re really not?” He answered me.

“And who are “they”, exactly?” I asked him, with sarcasm.

“We’ll never know… but there’s only one way to prove if they’re wrong.” And after saying this, he turned his eyes to the innocent squirrel, already prepared to hunt. But before he could pounce on that tiny creature, she jumped inside the bushes and hid.

“Well done Plumb Bob. You probably just traumatized an innocent creature.”

“And how do you know if she’s innocent? What do you know about squirrels anyway?” He replied to me. But in that moment, the same squirrel jumped out of the bushes, carrying a couple of berries between her little arms, which she then offered to us.

“What is this?” He asked. And then, we both took a berry each one. And Plumb Bob stared at his for a moment, for then to outline a smile. “Wow… I guess I was wrong about you, little buddy.” He then said to the squirrel, to which she smiled and made a tiny reverence, before running away and finally disappearing into the woods. And after that, we both ate the berries, and as soon as we did, we realized there were more of them on that bush… and there were more bushes of the same kind all around us.

“Oh… my… gosh.” I said, until Plumb Bob hit mi on a side, showing himself really excited.

“Now, this IS breakfast.” He said.

And later. We had already eaten almost every berry we found, until we were completely full. And after that banquet, we couldn’t do anything else but lay on the ground with our tummies on the air, just waiting until the moment we could move again.

And a moment later, while we were lying on the ground, I started thinking that… nature can be nice sometimes.

“Nature can be nice sometimes.” I said.

“I miss my sister.” Plumb Bob said all of sudden, which I found a little strange… but… I didn’t care. So I only asked him:

“Were you two close?” I asked him.

“Were we close? …We were closer than Celestia and her sister… whatever her name is.” He said to me.

And in that moment, I’m not sure why, but I suddenly started laughing. And for some reason, Plumb Bob got caught up on my mood, and we both started laughing out loud, like somepony had just told a joke, but we only looked like two lunatics, laughing while lying on the ground in the middle of the woods. And it kept like that, until Plumb Bob started talking, while still laughing:

“I mean… Hahaha! I didn’t send her to the moon for a thousand years and stuff. …Hahaha! But if I had to… I couldn’t do it! Hahaha! …I’m just afraid that if I do it, my hooves will fall off. HAHAHAHA…!” And then he continued laughing hilariously.

But it was in that precise moment, that I stopped laughing. And now I was starting to realize… that I was feeling really dizzy, so I quickly stood up, and I asked Plumb Bob:

“Hey, a-are you feeling dizzy too?”

“I don’t know. I just wanna lie down here.” He said as he rolled on the ground. But then I stopped him, and helped him stand up.

“Come on, This is serious! …Just try to remember, What was the first name of Ms. Agate?” I asked to Plumb Bob, but he only said:

“Uh… I don’t know. But I really miss… her… sandwiches! …She made them with love!” At this point, he was only talking nonsense, and he could barely stand on his hooves.

Oh, my… I… I think something’s wrong.

“Listen to me… You just… Try to remember the names of your parents while I think.” I said to him.

“Nnaahhh…! I never really liked them.” He yelled.

But now I have to figure this out… I-I think I got it!

“The berries! It was the berries!” I shouted then.

“What berries? What are you talking about?” He asked to me, seeming quite disoriented.

“The berries that squirrel gave to us. They were hallucinogenic berries! Don’t you see? That squirrel tricked us!”

“WHAT?! That stupid squirrel! Where is it?! She’s gonna pay for this!” He started yelling, walking from one side to the other, and looking for the creature.

“This is your fault!” I yelled at Plumb Bob in that moment.

“What… did you say?” He asked me, acting even dizzier than before.

“If you hadn’t tried to eat that squirrel, we wouldn’t be on this trouble!”

“Oh! So now is my fault for being hungry?! I’m gonna teach you a lesson, you stupid egghead!”

“My head is not shaped like an egg! …or is it?” I started asking to myself, feeling really confused. “Hey, you know what? Never mind! So now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find a river to turn off this fire on my tail.” I shouted to Plumb Bob, and then I started walking away, looking for… a river?; but then Plumb Bob started following me.

“Oh, I’m going with you… You know nothing about river trolls anyway.”

And as the minutes passed, my mind started leaving me, just like my eyes and ears started tricking me. And before I realize, I was already in fetal position on the ground, and trembling while Plumb Bob was having an argument with a tree:

“Now you shut up tree, I’m talking! You thought I was full of horsebricks and now you bucking worship the ground which I’m walking! …Me against the world, so what?!”

When suddenly, a couple of Pegasus wearing spandex suits showed up on the sky. Then they saw us from above, just at the moment we were acting creasier than ever. And they were so surprised about it, that they decided to descent, and approach towards us.

“Are you guys ok?” Said one boy with blue mane, just as his spandex suit.

“We’re fine, now take off! Don’t you see I’m in the middle of something with this tree?” Plumb Bob said.

Then both Pegasus looked at each other with surprise, and then replied to Plumb Bob:

“Ok, you’re definitely not fine.” Said the pegasus girl with orange mane… and spandex.

Meanwhile, I was curled up on the ground.

“The red princess came and took my baby!” I shouted all of sudden. And then, the pegasus on spandex approached to the other pegasus on spandex and whispered:

“This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I, don’t know… I think I’ve seen this before.” She told him. And that’s when she noticed there were a couple of berries tangled on my mane. Then she approached towards me, and took one to analyze. And she quickly realized what they were.

“I knew it! You see this?” She said, showing the berry to the other Pegasus.

“Eh… Yeah?” He answered, seeming confused.

“These are tripping berries! We used them to make “space cakes” for the noobies at the academy.” She explained.

“Oh, yeah! I remember!” He said then.

“Well, at least until the high command banned them from the academy, and made their use illegal.” She added.

“Yeah… what a bust.”

“But judging by their behavior, these ponies must have eaten lots of berries.” She explained.

“Whoo, wow! These ponies must be flying really high right now!” He expressed, but the other Pegasus didn’t seem amused by his comment.

“Come on! We must take them to a hospital. Which one’s the nearest?” She asked, while she was picking me up from the ground and putting me on her back.

“I, think it’s the Crystal Empire’s hospital.” He answered, as he walked under Plumb Bob’s legs and raised him on the air with his back. But it only took me a moment to react, before they took us back to the Crystal Empire.

“Nooo! …We just came from there! …We need to go to, this… other place.” I shouted with dizzy voice.

“Alright. Then, where are you guys going?” She asked me.

“P. Sherman Wallaby 42 Sidney!” Plumb Bob said in that moment, and then we both instantly started laughing. But the Pegasus lady didn’t seem to share our sense of humor, unlike the other Pegasus boy, whose laughter he could hardly contain. Then I finally managed to control myself. I took a deep breath, and I spoke:

“We’re going to… this place… with really high towers… Uh… I’m not sure…”

“You mean, Manehattan?” The spandex guy asked me.

“Sure, why not?” I said, even I didn’t really know why.

“But that’s like a million miles away from here!” He shouted then.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby! Are you saying you can’t make it?” She said then, with a daring tone on her voice.

“What?! Of course I can!” He answered.

“Even in less than three hours?” She asked.

“Is that a challenge?”

“You know it is.”

“Alright then!” Then, the two pegasus took their positions as in a race, with me and Plumb Bob on their backs.

“Ready?” He said.

“Set!” She continued.

“GOOOOO!” Plumb Bob and I shouted at the same time. And then, both pegasus took off, flying at high speed towards the sky. So much that everything turned blurrier than it already was for me in that moment.

MANEHATTAN

But now, while we were flying at full speed, and everything was absolutely blurry, I think I must have lost the track of time, because suddenly, we were already flying over the city of Manehattan. And then, the two pegasus took us to a hospital; and they explained to the doctor what our situation was, while we were lying on stretchers. And after that, they were already walking towards the exit, when I spoke to them, still distended on my stretcher. So they stopped when I said:

“Hey, thank you guys. I don’t know what we would have done without you.” I told them. And then they both turner to me, and outlined a smile.

“That’s our job.” Said the pegasus girl.

“To protect and serve.” The blue mane pegasus added. Then they turned around, and they were already about to leave… but not before I said something stupid:

“You should marry her… you know? …I think she’s the only one that could tolerate you… you spandex guy.” I said with dizziness in my voice.

After hearing these words, both Pegasus were petrified, and speechless, being unable to even turning to look at me, after what I had just told them.

“Hey… but that’s just… my opinion…” I said, trying to explain myself, even I’m actually not sure why I said that. And then I simply turned around on my stretcher, and my eyes started closing, until I finally fell asleep.

When I woke up, I felt strangely relaxed. I had no idea of what time it was, but there was a window on the emergency room, and I could see the night sky and the stars outside. Besides, on the stretcher next mine there was Plumb Bob, who was playing with what appeared to be an imaginary butterfly on his hooves.

“You’re finally up.” Plumb Bob said to me without stop staring at his hooves.

“Where are those spandex Pegasus?” I asked him.

“I don’t know. I’ve been too busy with this butterfly here.” He answered. But in that moment, I don’t know why, I shouted out loud:

“I knew it was a butterfly!” Then, Plumb Bob suddenly jumped off his stretcher, with too much enthusiasm.

“Of course you did, because we’re both geniuses!” He shouted, with a contagious energy.

“Yeah we are!” I said, and then I jumped out of my stretcher too.

“So what do you say if we go out and find some party?!”

“YEAH!” I yelled really loud, which attracted the attention of everypony on the emergency room. And then the doctor showed up.

“Hey. You’re not supposed to be up yet. The effects of the berries will still last a few more hours.” Said the doctor.

“Oh yeah? Well, go tell that to your MOM!” Plumb Bob shouted, mocking the doctor.

And then, we both left the hospital, galloping as fast as we could, and laughing like a couple of lunatics; while the doctor was coming out of the building right after us, with a sad face, when then a Doctor mare walked out of the hospital and approached to him, putting a hoof on the doctor’s back.

“It’s alright son. Let’s go back inside.” The doctor’s mom said; and then she walked him back to the hospital.

Meanwhile, we were wandering on the streets. This time, not really calling a lot of attention towards ourselves; after all, the night is young… and this is the huge city of Manehattan.