BAD INFLUENCES

by Ali Gonzheimer

THE EMPIRE

I started walking along the train station, and my mind was still spinning around this whole situation. I couldn’t believe what just had happened to me today. I had never met such a crazy pony in my life, and I had never been in this much trouble before. But I’m here now, and I think I can fix everything.

There was a crystal guard outside the station; and I thought that, maybe if I could explain him what happened back in Ponyville, the guards of this kingdom could get in touch with the other guards and we could solve everything.

So I was approaching to talk to the guard; but I was a little afraid, because I really needed to choose the right words to explain exactly what…

“How dare you?!”

In that instant, when I heard that voice, both my legs and my thoughts got paralyzed. And then I started looking around, until I finally saw him…

“Why didn’t you jump with me?!”

He was standing right in the middle of the station; and even my eyes were seeing him, I couldn’t believe it… How did he found me? How did that crazy flank criminal found me? Then, he started walking towards me, covered in dirt and scratches.

“What were you thinking?!” He asked me as he approached.

“What do you want from me?!” I shouted then, as a whimper.

“Right now, I want an explanation.” He said, as he started shaking the dust. “How did you get out of that train so easily? Hmm?! Did no pony try to stop you?”

I was still quite stressed at that moment. I really wasn’t expecting his presence at all, but I took a few seconds to calm down; I took a deep breath, and then I talked:

“I paid for my ticket… And I could have paid for yours too. I always hide four bits on my mane for emergencies.” I explained. But as soon as he heard me say that, he didn’t seem too happy at all. But… I didn’t care anymore.

“Ok, now leave me alone!” I said in that moment.

“No way José. We have to keep moving. The guards are still after us.” He said to me, trying to sound discreet.

“What are you talking about? That’s not true! Besides, I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Oh, of course you did…” And then, he suddenly hit his head against a bakery window on the train station, breaking the glass in the noisiest way possible; then he took one cinnamon bun from the shelf, and then he stuck it suddenly into my mouth.

“…You just stole that.” He said then.

And in that moment, everypony around was staring at us. They were all surprised, just as I was right now; and now, that crystal guard had just seen the whole thing.

“Hey!” The crystal guard yelled. So then I turned to the criminal, when he was already preparing to run away. But before he did, he said to me:

“Now you get to choose again… You can follow me, or you can stay right where you are.”

I tried to talk in that moment, but my mouth was full of bun. And right after that, the criminal started running away, and the crystal guard was now coming after me.

“Stop! Both of you!” The crystal guard yelled.

And now… I couldn’t believe I was doing this again. Because now we were both being chased by the guard of this kingdom, and this nightmare was now taking place among a big crowd on the Crystal Empire; crossing streets, dodging other ponies, and calling a lot of attention towards ourselves. And as I was galloping among dozens of crystal ponies, trying to keep track of the criminal ahead of me, I couldn’t stop blaming myself for the terrible decisions I had made today. But this was a huge kingdom, and in some point, I just lost the criminal out of sight. So I stopped for a moment, and saw a lot of ponies passing by around me, but where did He go? Of course I didn’t have much time to think. The crystal guard was approaching, so I continued running. And now that I was escaping, all by myself, I started to realize that… that’s kind of what I wanted. So while I was still running, I started thinking… Hey, maybe I should turn myself to the authorities, and end all this madness. This whole thing could end right now before it went any further… But before I could make a decision that would affect me for the rest of my life, a hoof appeared out of nowhere, pulling me behind a trashcan; and also blocking my mouth on an unexpected manner. Then, I saw the guard passing by the sidewalk, completely ignoring where I went. Meanwhile, I was trying to scream, but the hoof was still covering my mouth.

“Shut up, he’s gonna hear you.” He whispered. And in that moment, I finally realized that it was the same criminal who was holding me. So, instead of doing what he said, I just pushed him away in that moment.

“Get off me!” I yelled him.

“Shhh!” He tried to shut me up, but I was too angry at that moment.

“No! You “shhh”!” I replied, and he quickly tried to cover my mouth.

“Don’t…!”

And then we started struggling, behind that trashcan on that alley; and it was about to get ugly… until one lady showed up.

“What’s going on here?!” She caught us, strangling each other, so we both stopped in that same moment, staring at her from the ground. A moment that was followed by an awkward silence.

“This isn’t what it looks like.” I said right away, still with my hooves on his neck. And then we both put our hooves down, without stop staring at that angry lady pony.

“What are you doing back here? This is private property, you know?” She yelled at us.

“Oh, I’m sorry. We were just…” I started talking, but the criminal suddenly interrupted me in that a second:

“…About to sing along!”

“What?! I mean… Yes!” I tried to dissimulate, and then I turned to the lady, with a fake smile on my face. But the lady just stared at us, with a notorious suspicious on her eyes. But after a long and stressful moment, she finally reacted:

“Really…? Because I love songs!” And she suddenly seemed very excited.

“Oh, dear!” I said to myself, very nervous. But then the criminal stood up, and started talking:

“The thing is… that… we were going to sing in a… Different language! Yeah.” He explained, seeming like he was making up things while he was speaking; doing it with an apparent ease.

“Ohh, how interesting! Now I really, really want to hear it!” She said to us then, even more excited. But this weird pony next to me seemed to think stuff real fast, because then he outlined a big smile.

“Well, then you will have to move with us; because this is a trip song!” He said, while we both started walking backwards, away from the lady. And before she had time to get suspicious, He discretely hit me with his hoof, so I started singing:

“La donna é mobile!” I sang the first thing that came to my mind. And then he continued:

“La cucaracha! la cucaracha!”

“Qual piuma al vento!”

We sang in the most horrible way, which made other ponies outside the alley to stop and look what was going on.

“Enchilada, blah blah blah…” And without even finishing that verse, the criminal ran away in that moment, leaving me alone with the lady on the alley for a second.

“And… My… Goodbye!” And then I escaped. And I honestly think it was more embarrassing for the lady than it was for us.

THE EVENT

It was getting late; and here we were, still making our way through the alleys so we didn’t get caught by the guards. And at this point, I didn’t know what else to do but follow this dude… for now.

“Where are we going?” I asked him, while he was leading me into another alley.

“It’s late. It’s chilly. We are going to some place warmer…” He answered me, as he looked around a corner, for then to outline a smile. “…and with food.”

At the end of the street there was… what it seemed to be a party. There were lots of ponies gathering around a red carpet on the entrance, all of them trying to look inside, but the security was strong.

“Come on.” Then the criminal told me to follow him. But as we were getting closer to where everypony was gathering, everyone started clapping their hooves on the ground with excitement.

“What’s going on?” I asked to a pony on the crowd.

“Don’t you see? Fancy Pants is here!” She shouted with excitement; and that’s when I saw him. Fancy Pants was coming out a very elegant carriage, next to his much more elegant wife.

“Fancy Pants! Fancy Pants!” The multitude was going crazy; everypony except for the one pony next to me.

“But he’s not wearing any pants.” He said, with some angry sarcasm.

“Oh, my! What I’d give to get inside that party!” Said the excited pony on the crowd.

“Why? Is it that great?” I asked her.

“Are you kidding? Fancy Pants always throws the most exclusive parties all over Equestria!”

“Is that so?” The criminal asked then.

“Absolutely. And not just any pony is invited.” She added.

And in that moment, and without a notice, He grabbed me by the neck and pulled me away from the crowd. And when he stopped, I pushed him away with anger.

“What do you want?!” I shouted.

“We, are going inside that party.” He said to me then, with a great and noticeable confidence on his voice.

“What? Didn’t you hear what she said? They don’t let in just any pony.”

“Oh, but we are not just any ponies, are we?” He said then, with an evil grin on his face.

A NICE PONY

It was dark now; and we were still standing in front of the same red carpet. The multitude was gone, and now we were the only ponies around, except for the security ponies, who wouldn’t stop pointing and mocking at us.

“I’m freezing.” I said.

“Shut up! Me too.” He replied. But then I added:

“And I’m also hungry.”

“At least you ate a cinnamon bun earlier, right?” He said, while still staring at the entrance to the party. And in that moment, I decided it was time to give up and leave. I just couldn’t believe how long it took me to realize it.

“Let’s go now. There is no way they let us in.” I said.

“Could you shut up now? I’m thinking.” He replied, a little more upset this time.

“So you are still planning to get inside? Is this part of your plan to get in?” I asked, impatiently. And when the security guards heard me saying that, they started laughing.

“And what do you call this part of the plan?” I asked sarcastically, but despite that, the criminal didn’t reacted at all.

And then I continued:

“Oh, I know how to call it. Failure!”

“Ohhhhhhh!” The security ponies shouted. But…

“SHUT UP!” The criminal reacted very violently; yelling in such way, that even the security ponies stopped laughing. Now he was dangerously angry, and I didn’t like the way he was looking at me.

“Hey… hey… stay back dude. I warn you.” I said to him, while I started walking backwards, away from him.

“Yeah? And what you gonna do? Eh?” He started walking towards me, while I kept walking backwards. He seemed like he was about to attack me at any second, so I was ready to run and find shelter behind the security ponies; and in that moment, the security ponies were prepared to intervene at any moment. And so, there were a couple of really tense seconds after that… when suddenly, an old lady walked down the red carpet from the inside.

“What is going on here?” She asked.

“It’s Nothing ma’am. Please go back inside. We’ll take care of this.” Said one of the security ponies.

“Take care of what? I’m just going to give him a friendly hug, that’s it.” The criminal said, with a maniac glare on his eyes.

“Oh… isn’t that nice?” The lady said. But then, one of the security guards approached to her.

“Please ma’am. I insist…”

“Oh, it’s ok sweetie. I was leaving anyway.” The lady said, interrupting the guard.

“Very well then. Let us bring you your carriage.” And then, the security pony made a sign to the valet parking, who instantly left, to bring her her vehicle. And on the meantime, the lady approached to the sidewalk, to wait for her carriage in front of the street. Meanwhile, the big security guy stood up between her and us, with an imposing pose, and an unfriendly look on his face. But then, the lady saw us.

“You don’t tell me you have been out here waiting to get into that party.” The lady asked us.

“Ok, we won’t tell you then.” The criminal answered, on a bitter tone; but surprisingly, the lady giggled.

“Well, you don’t have to worry. You are not missing out anything. That must be the most boring party that Fancy Pants has ever thrown.” The lady said then.

“He… he…” I tried to laugh, but I just didn’t have the spirit. The old lady seemed nice; and by the way she was looking at us, standing on the dark and cold, I could tell she felt sorry for us. I just knew it… We were pathetic.

Then she asked us:

“Are you boys’ hungry?”

“Maybe a little.” The criminal said.

“We’re fine.” I said then. But suddenly, the lady added:

“Because, it’s not that late. I could invite you some dinner. What do you say?”

“Absolutely!” The criminal shouted excited. But as soon as he heard that, the security pony immediately opposed.

“Ma’am! I don’t recommend…” But the lady didn’t let him finish.

“Oh, it’s alright darling. They seem to be nice boys.” She said, pointing at us; at the time I sighed and this guy was smiling like an angel.

“See?” She said to the guard.

The security pony was speechless, but before he could say anything, the carriage arrived in that moment. Then the lady got in, and then she invited us inside.

“Come on boys.” She said, from the inside of her carriage.

“Oh, you are too kind!” The criminal shouted while jumping inside the carriage, so then I got inside after him. And then, the lady made a sign to the ponies pulling the vehicle, and in that moment, we started moving.

And while we were leaving, the criminal looked out the window, only to mock at the security guards; meanwhile, on the inside of the carriage, it was more than obvious how unhappy I was in that moment.

“Don’t be sad darling. Fancy Pants events are not that big deal. Seriously, that pony wouldn’t recognize fun even if it was on his cutie mark.” She said, trying to cheer me up. But then the criminal took his head back into the vehicle.

“Dumb guard… Hey, thank you so much for this.” He said to the lady.

“You are very welcome. My name is Carnelian Agate.” The lady introduced herself.

“Well my name is Plumb Bob, and this here is…” But then they both stared at me.

“Oh… My name is JoySpread.” I introduced myself.

“JoySpread?! Really?” He shouted in that moment.

“Yes. Why?” I asked him, not very amused by his tone.

“Nothing, it’s just that… it fits you so well.” He said then, with sarcasm.

“Wait a minute. You two haven’t introduced yet?” Ms. Agate asked us. So he started explaining:

“We haven’t really had the time. The thing is… we’re travelers, and right now we’re on our way to Canterlot.”

Canterlot?! I thought in that moment… I hadn’t realized until now, that that was his plan all along.

“Oh really? I love Canterlot! In fact, I will be moving there in a couple of days.” Ms. Agate said, sounding excited.

“That sounds nice.” The criminal responded.

“Not quite… You see, I’m a jewelry manufacturer, and Fancy Pants is one of my best clients. But he just told me that he needs me to be near his place, so he doesn’t have to travel all the way here to get his new jewelry… So I have no other choice but, move to Canterlot.”

“That doesn’t sound fair. If he wants to buy from you, he should come here every time!” The criminal shouted, sounding pretty upset.

“Oh no, there is no problem at all. It’s just that… I really love the Crystal Empire… It is my home.” And in that moment, Ms. Agate started staring wistfully through the window for a few seconds. Until she finally reacted. “Oh… I’m sorry if I’m boring you, I just love to talk about my job.”

“No… it’s ok.” I said.

“Well, I love to hear about it.” He said.

“Thank you guys. And what about you? What do you do in your travels?” Ms. Agate asked us.

“Well, we…” He was about to start talking, but then I decided to interrupt him:

“I’m glad you ask. Because my great partner here and I are going to Canterlot, where we are going to split; and each one will continue with his life… I mean, career.” I tried to send him a message. Fortunately, Ms. Agate didn’t seem to get it.

“That sounds… interesting.” She said.

“Indeed. And my friend here… uh…”

“Plumb Bob.” He said.

“Plumb Bob! Right! He’s an interior designer; and he has this future project involving gray walls and bars on the doors which he will be doing for a long time.” I explained, with a slightly perverse smile on my face and constantly looking at Plumb Bob with contempt.

“It sounds very interesting.” Ms. Agate said. But Plumb Bob didn’t seem too happy with me in that moment.

“Oh, that’s nothing! When I first met Joy, He was planning to dedicate his entire time on this project about… a small… oblong, wooden bed with a lid on it. And I’m pretty sure he’s going to continue with this “project” as soon as possible.” He said to Ms. Agate, to end up turning to look at me with an unbearable smile. And in that moment we stared at each other, with a fake smile on our faces and a challenge glare on our eyes.

“I don’t know what to say boys. I’m very pleased to have met you today. Maybe you can both help me someday to redesign my new home in Canterlot.”

“Of course.” I said.

“I would love to.” Plumb Bob added; while we kept staring defiantly at each other.

And in that moment, the carriage stopped.

“Here we are.” Ms. Agate said, as she got off the vehicle.

“Come on in.” She invited us to her house; and when we crossed that door, we both were absolutely shocked. This place wasn’t just anything. There were jewels everywhere and on everything; from furniture to chandeliers, and even in other jewels.

“Wow!” We both said at the same time.

“Why thank you boys. Now, let’s talk about dinner, shall we?”

“Oh, boy!” Plumb Bob then ran to the table, very excited, ignoring completely the amazing elegance of the house. Then Ms. Agate went to her fridge and opened it.

“Let’s see… what can I offer you? Oh! There’s some salad! But I also could make you some sandwiches.”

“The salad would be great Ms. Agate.” I said, trying to be polite.

“Yeah, maybe for you! I would like a sandwich please.” He said to Ms. Agate.

“Of course! I’ll make it right away.” She said, and then she took one bowl of salad and put it in front of me on the table.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you Ms. Agate.” I told her; and then she walked back to the kitchen with a smile. But as soon as she turned around, I turned to the pony on the other side of the table.

“What are you doing?” I whispered to Plumb Bob.

“I’m being polite and accepting her offer.” He responded me.

“Don’t you know she’s done enough just by offering dinner to us?! You don’t have to take advantage of that!” I complained, with strong whispers. But he simply answered me:

“Shut up and eat your salad!”

“Is everything ok?” Ms. Agate then asked us from the kitchen.

“Of course Ms. Agate. It’s just that, my friend Joy is a little shy to tell, but he really loves his salads with a lot of mayonnaise and extra onions.” Plumb Bob stated, in a way that was actually credible, to which I didn’t know how to reply.

“What?! I mean… what?” I said then.

“Oh, there’s no shame on the kind of food you like dear… here.” And then she brought me the onions and mayonnaise.

“Oh… I… appreciate it?” I barely articulated those words.

“You’re very welcome.” She said, with great kindness, which meant that now I had to eat this, otherwise it would be disrespectful. But we can both play this game.

“Oh, Ms. Agate. My friend Plumb Bob doesn’t want to bother you, but he really likes his sandwiches with lots of hot sauce.” I told to Ms. Agate, as an evil grin started growing on my face after every word.

“Hey…!” Plumb Bob said then, while staring at me. “…I actually do!” Then he said with excitement… something I was not expecting.

“Well, I guess you are lucky, because I have a new bottle right here.” And then, she served him his hot sauce sandwich, which he started eating with joy. And then he spoke with his mouth full:

“Oh, Ms. Agate; you are the best!”

“Uhhh…” I thought.

So, after what was a strangely delicious dinner, we were ready to go.

“Thanks a lot, Ms. Agate. It was a lovely dinner.” Plumb Bob said.

“You’re welcome boys.”

“I don’t know how we can pay you for this.” I said.

“Oh, don’t worry about anything. It was nice to have met you two today.”

So then, we were about to cross the door out, when she suddenly spoke to us:

“Do you have any place to stay while you are here on the Empire?”

“Well… uh… we…” Plumb Bob was trying to make up something, but then I intervened:

“We’ll find a hotel Ms. Agate… or maybe a trash container.” That last part I whispered to Plumb Bob. But then, Ms. Agate said:

“Would you like to stay here tonight?” And this took us booth by surprise.

“Are you serious Ms. Agate?” I asked.

“Of course! You can use the guest room.” She said to us, with a big smile on her face.

And in that moment I couldn’t believe it. I had wanted to say no, because… she had done too much for us so far. But on the other hoof, I really didn’t want to spend the night on the streets.

“Thank you very much Ms. Agate.” I said.

“Yeah! You are the best!” Plumb Bob shouted then, after which Ms. Agate giggled.

But after that, I’m starting to think I should have thought this twice; because now I had to share the bed with HIM.

“Move! You’re taking all the blanket!” Plumb Bob complained.

“Alright. Then take it!” I said, throwing I threw the entire blanket on him. “Now I would like some peace.” I told him as I turned away on the bed.

Although anyway, I didn’t think I would be able to sleep next to a criminal. So I’ll just try to stay awake and get through the night. Or at least I tried, until He suddenly started speaking to me:

“Ms. Agate is great, isn’t she?” Plumb Bob said.

“What? I’m not talking to you!” I shouted.

“Wow, what a grumpy. I’m just trying to have a conversation.” He said, as if it was me who was acting wrong.

“No. There is not going to be any conversation!” I yelled really hard. But then, Ms. Agate suddenly spoke to us through the wall, from the other room:

“Is everything alright, boys?” She asked.

“It’s nothing Ms. Agate.” We answered at the same time, which made Plumb Bob giggle a little; and right after that, he instantly fell asleep. But I don’t think I can do it as easily as he did… I guess… there is no guilt… on a pony with no conscience…