Wonderbolts Millennium Rally

by Brass Polish

1 Air Sprinting

Scootaloo watched as the gates of Yakyakistan opened. A calf walked in and beckoned Pinkie Pie inside.

“Oh my candy letters!” exclaimed the party pony.

Scootaloo hadn’t looked around herself, so turned to see what Pinkie was marvelling at. Sure enough, there was no shortage of interesting spectacles in this foreign land. The houses weren’t unrecognisable as log cabins, but there were enormous and plainly not built on the cheap. There was a craftsmanship that said the builders had the time of their lives constructing these homes.

“I could bring back a few of these Yakyakistan logs and build a party hall in Ponyville!” said Pinkie. “But all those logs might be kinda heavy. Like Rainbow Dash after a fifth round of rock candy.”

Pinkie Pie turned her head, and so did Scootaloo.

“Ice irises!” shouted Pinkie.

A veritable farm of glittering flowers in all shades of blue lay beyond a row of splendidly built wooden houses. Scootaloo had seen ice iri before, but the ones in this field were in a class by themselves.

“They’d be perfect for decorations!” Pinkie Pie beamed. “Imagine if Roseluck or Daisy or Lily saw these! Ooh, they might just faint!”

The calf tapped Pinkie’s shoulder and pointed to the inside walls of the Yakyakistan boarder. Pinkie turned and gasped. Scootaloo did the same.

“Ha! Those oughtta keep the abominable snowmares away!” grinned Pinkie Pie.

Large canons and trebuchets were set up along the top of the wall. Each one was loaded not with a big stone, but with a large tree stump.

Every third canon had a yak slumped next to it. They were all asleep. Scootaloo now knew why the arrival of Pinkie Pie was so out of nowhere. Then, another unannounced arrival appeared through the gates of Yakyakistan.

“Subjects! Yaks in trouble!”

Scootaloo was shocked to see Pinkie Pie get trampled by hundreds of yaks running out of their homes and away from their jobs to meet with Prince Rutherford. Somehow, though, Scootaloo hadn’t even been so much as jostled. But she was a little put off by the rumbling ground.

“Prince Rutherford was hasty! Prince Rutherford was mad at not real yak things in Equestria! Prince Rutherford declared war on Equestria!”

A murmur fell over the crowd of yaks. Scootaloo made her way to Pinkie Pie, who was groggily picking herself up.

“Yaks’ weapons no match for ponies! Ponies have wings! Ponies have horns! Yaks can’t smash all magic flying ponies! Yaks in deep fertilizer!”

“Are you OK, Pinkie?” asked Scootaloo.

Pinkie Pie didn’t answer. She was shaking her head to try and get her head straight. That’s when the calf who had allowed her entrance to his homeland jumped her and tied her up.

“Prince Rutherford! Yaks have pony hostage! Yaks have leverage!” bellowed the calf, standing on top of Pinkie, who was roped from neck to tail.

“Hey, get off her!” scouted Scootaloo.

She attempted to push the calf off of Pinkie, but he didn’t budge. The prince stormed over to their pink prisoner. He made the ground rumble more than the crowd did.

“Pony princess’ party planner!” he hadn’t forgotten Pinkie at all.

“Uh… hi,” Pinkie Pie put on a forced smile.

“What is purple princess’ weakness?!” demanded Prince Rutherford.

Scootaloo was glad to see that Pinkie Pie was refusing to tell them, but not for long. The prince turned to the calf, somehow making the ground rumble even though he wasn’t moving his legs.

“Fetch sheet of paper and bottle of iodine!”

“I’ll talk! I’ll talk!” Pinkie Pie shrieked hysterically. “Spiders and quesadillas!”

“Oh, no!” cried Scootaloo. “We’re gonna lose the war! What can I do?!”

A red kazoo flew out of nowhere and hit Scootaloo right between the eyes.

“Ow! What the heck, Nyx?!” she groaned.

“It wasn’t me!” Nyx flinched. “It was her!”

“You rolled over onto my tail,” frowned Diamond Tiara.

“You coulda just tapped me.” Scootaloo sat up in her seat, off of Diamond Tiara’s tail.

“She did,” said Sweetie Belle, magicing the kazoo off the carriage floor and back to Nyx. “You were dead asleep.”

Scootaloo looked out the window. “Oh. We’re moving again.”

“Yeah. They got the sheep off the line,” said Twist. “That was a heck of a demonstration they were putting on, too.”

“Does anypony know why those sheep were so worked up?” asked Nyx.

“A bunch of em were inspired by an insensitivity protest a flock put on in Ponyville,” Apple Bloom explained. “They’re demanding better treatment all over Equestria now. My brother and sister had to go off to sensitivity training in Fillydelphia, and now sheep all over the country are wanting other farm ponies to do the same, even though hardly any of them are being mistreated.”

“With all this train traffic being blocked,” Lazybug moaned, “I don’t see why me and my sister can’t count sheep as pests.”

“Hey, if it hadn’t been for that one herd blocking the tracks in Dodge City, Prince Rutherford would have won the war he declared right to Twilight’s face.”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders all looked at Scootaloo, who told them about the dream she’d just had.

At the Crystal Empire station, the Ponyville school ponies met up with the Manehattan and Barrow-In-Harness school ponies. There, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo bore witness to Babs Seed’s scissors cutie mark for the first time. Babs herself marvelled at the shields siting boldly on her Ponyville friends’ flanks. In addition, Castaway revealed her cutie mark, which she kept from the Ponyville and Manehattan CMCs as a surprise for this field trip. Both Babs and Castaway regretted to report that no foals chose to take advantage of the retroactive recruitment rule that Apple Bloom had reinstated. Soon the tour began, with Flash Sentry acting as tour guide. He started by pointing out Impulsoria’s cave, and reciting the stories of how Fluttershy discovered her and the part she played in the Equestria Games’ Dragon Riding event. Quietly, the CMC told Nyx that after Spike publicly improvised his own rendition of the Cloudsdale anthem, he spent a lot of his time moping in that cave until Impulsoria returned and demanded alone time to rest. The tour moved on after the crystal dragon herself poked her head out of her cave and gave the school ponies a somewhat half-hearted wave.

Quite soon, the field trippers were walking through the Crystal Castle hallways.

“Oh. Pardon me, your highnesses,” Flash said after opening the door to the spa. “I didn’t know you two were in here.”

“It’s alright, Flash,” said Shining Armour. “Why don’t we tell them, Cadance?”

Cadance nodded, approached the school ponies, and beckoned Miss Harshwhinny to join her. They told the foals that they were considering running a particular Equestria Games event in the Crystal Empire which went over well with the crystal ponies; Air Sprinting, in which Scootaloo well remembered Lightning Dust and her friend Updraft had represented Loch Azure splendidly. Before they left the crystal spa, Scootaloo spotted another familiar figure.

“Hi! What brings you here?” she asked.

“I’m here with Starlight Glimmer,” said Amber Aldis, mane and tail in curlers. “Twilight Sparkle introduced me to her and asked her if she could use her talents to try and find a cure for my illness.”

Scootaloo wasn’t sure Twilight’s logic was too good; a unicorn exceedingly gifted with magic trying to cure a pony at risk of a horrific end if magic was used on her.

“So why the Crystal Empire?” asked Scootaloo.

“After Starlight learned about Nyx and Pulp Puree, she made us all realise that the Crystal Heart’s magic doesn’t affect me. Not in a bad way, anyway. So we think there may be an answer here.”

Scootaloo was shunted out of the spa at this point, as the tour was moving on.

Eventually, the group stopped at a café for lunch. Prompted by the possible upcoming Air Sprinting event, Scootaloo excitedly brought the subject around to who might be competing in it. No one was surprised to hear her jump straight to Rainbow Dash.

“She didn’t even get Gold in the Arial Relay,” Babs Seed objected. “Spitfire did. She’s a Wonderbolt.”

“So is Rainbow Dash,” insisted Scootaloo. “She’s the reserve they call on the most. It’s just a matter of time.”

“That won’t make her faster than any of the Wonderbolts,” said Skyward. “What she needs is a manedo.”

“A manedo?”

“Her mane’s not as slick as, say, Spitfire’s. Or Lightning Dust’s,” Skyward explained. “She’s not as… as, um…”

“Aerodynamic,” Castaway cut in. “You know, like hydrodynamic, only in the air. Anyway, that’s not why Rainbow Dash didn’t get Ponyville the gold. She’s just too nice. Why do you think she had Fluttershy and Bulk Biceps on her team? If she takes part in this Sprinting event, she’ll probably choose Fluttershy as her partner. Then she’ll have no chance.”

“She could always go first,” suggested Gilt Eyes. “She’ll practically give Fluttershy a big head start if she does that.”

“Not if she spins out,” said Washout. “Scootaloo told me she didn’t do too well when she raced Lightning Dust to Salt Lick City.”

“Yeah, and you gotta do a lotta laps in Air Sprinting,” put in Flotsam. “Rainbow Dash’ll flub for sure.”

Scootaloo was quick to defend Rainbow. “Don’t forget, everypony. Rainbow Dash is the only pony who can pull off a sonic rainboom.”

The debate continued even when lunch was over and the tour resumed. Even when the classes were on the station platform at the end of the day, the foals were still arguing whether Rainbow Dash, Spitfire or Lightning Dust would come out on top.

For two days after the field trip, the debate was still alive in Ponyville; although it was not the only thing on everypony’s lips. Some were taking the debate too seriously, others were simply offering input. Scootaloo was surprisingly in the latter category. She, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle had something else to look forward to.

“How come you’re still having Twilight Time?” Diamond Tiara asked. “You’ve got your cutie marks now.”

“We still like learning new skills,” Apple Bloom told her. “And, well, old ones. I’m still a bit of a beginner with planting.”

Today’s session had nothing to do with planting, but the CMCs didn’t even hear what the activity would be. They were distracted by the banana sticker sitting on Twilight’s horn. Both she and Spike didn’t appear to know, but Scootaloo saw that Nyx was grinning at a library table nearby. Soon enough, Twilight noticed that the CMCs were trying not to laugh.

“Spike, what are you doing?”

“I’m not…” he broke off, laughing. “I think Pinkie Pie got you at breakfast.”

He jumped up and ripped the sticker off Twilight. The CMC laughed. Twilight groaned.

“Hey, relax. I didn’t notice until now,” Spike scoffed at Twilight’s glare.

“Did you notice it, Nyx?” Twilight turned to the occupied table.

Nyx flinched. “I… I’m sorry I didn’t mention it. I just… I thought Pinkie’s prank might lead to something.”

“Something like what?” asked Twilight calmly.

“Well… I mean…” Nyx calmed down a tad, “if Pinkie Pie hadn’t played that trick on Rainbow Dash with that composter, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Ah,” Twilight nodded.

The CMCs all tilted their heads.

“After you told me about what happened with you, Spike, and Starlight,” Nyx went on. “I realised that if Pinkie hadn’t done that, Lazybug and Crosspatch would never have been freed, and their parents would never have been caught with me in their attic.”

“So what would a banana sticker on Twilight’s horn do?” asked Scootaloo, looking sceptical.

Nyx looked uncomfortable again, but she was spared from trying to give an answer by the abrupt arrival of Rainbow Dash.

“Hey, Twilight! Guess who’s got a mission!”

Twilight, Spike and the foals’ eyes widened. Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark was shining.

“To the map!” Twilight called.

And off to the throne room they went. The map lay across the round table, ready to pinpoint the place where Rainbow Dash was needed to solve a friendship problem.

“Is it just me?” Rainbow asked.

Her cutie mark leaving her flank and circling above the map on its own gave the answer. But that was as far as it went. The red, yellow, and blue lightning bolt descended down to the map, but it seemed to be taking its time marking the spot where the trouble was. First it hovered over Canterlot, then Ponyville, then Manehattan, then Barrow-In-Harness, then the Crystal Empire, then Cloudsdale, then Loch Azure, then Rainbow Falls, then Fillydelphia, then Salt Lick City, then Dodge City…

“Well?!” Rainbow was losing patience. “Where do ya need me?!”

Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark was still being indecisive when Spike suddenly burped out a scroll. Sure enough, it was a message from Canterlot.

“Well, at least Princess Celestia know where she wants you,” he said upon reading it.

He showed it to the ponies, who discovered that Celestia was summoning Rainbow Dash to Canterlot, by the request of Miss Harshwhinny.

“Is this about the Air Sprinting game they want to put on in the Crystal Empire?” asked Scootaloo.

“I dunno. It doesn’t say,” Rainbow Dash shrugged.

They looked at the Cutie Map. Rainbow’s cutie mark was still hovering over a different area of Equestria every second.

“Well, I guess I know where to start,” said Rainbow Dash.

Twilight was about to go fetch a bag of supplies, but then she figured that if the friendship problem concerned the whole of Equestria, the odds were that Rainbow Dash could return home at any time. And so, off went Rainbow Dash to see what the deal was.

Author's Note:

My 2015 batch of ten has become my 2016 batch.