Nice story so far. I've also made a list of things I found.
"Princess Luna, on (the) bed once again," "I know I can (trust) with your help in this situation." "P.(S.) Send Spike and the girls my greetings." " it was (something) she thought she would never see again in her nightmares." "Look, I have to write a letter and once I finish you will send it to Celestia and then you can go to the boutique and help (Rarity). " "She blinked repeatedly, trying to focus her eyes on the new (environment) where she found herself in." "not that she could see it because she was seeing the creature from (behind) and with a respectful distance" "From her (position), Luna had to struggle to keep her jaw from dropping as she saw the behemoth of a snake whom was curled tightly " "around a central (pillar) in the middle of the ridiculously (spacious) chamber. " (pilar = pillar) a few more times in the fight scene. "patiently waiting for an (opportunity)... " "make use of the (lenght) and simplicity... " " Luna closed her eyes and began focusing on a spell (that) could help the intruder without (making) known her presence, but there wasn't (enough) time for her to try a cloaked enchantment." "The serpent was writhing on the dank floor, a new bloody hole was etched on its left eye( and its )."
Nice siiiiiiirrrrrr. More please. I quite enjoyed this.
Very good. I like this so far. You kept switching the gender of the servant between male and female. I'll point out other mistakes later. Need sleep.
6825908 Thank you
6825205 I'll make more as soon as I can
Nice story so far. I've also made a list of things I found.
"Princess Luna, on (the) bed once again,"
"I know I can (trust) with your help in this situation."
"P.(S.) Send Spike and the girls my greetings."
" it was (something) she thought she would never see again in her nightmares."
"Look, I have to write a letter and once I finish you will send it to Celestia and then you can go to the boutique and help (Rarity). "
"She blinked repeatedly, trying to focus her eyes on the new (environment) where she found herself in."
"not that she could see it because she was seeing the creature from (behind) and with a respectful distance"
"From her (position), Luna had to struggle to keep her jaw from dropping as she saw the behemoth of a snake whom was curled tightly "
"around a central (pillar) in the middle of the ridiculously (spacious) chamber. "
(pilar = pillar) a few more times in the fight scene.
"patiently waiting for an (opportunity)... "
"make use of the (lenght) and simplicity... "
" Luna closed her eyes and began focusing on a spell (that) could help the intruder without (making) known her presence, but there wasn't (enough) time for her to try a cloaked enchantment."
"The serpent was writhing on the dank floor, a new bloody hole was etched on its left eye
( and its )."Good luck and I hope to see more.
6850359 Fixed, thank you very much.
Don't hunt a hunter. It usually doesn't end well.