Episode Three: Fate Has Brought Us Part One
Rainbow Dash cleared her throat and said "I want to go to the first ever flying competition." The Doctor just stopped what he was doing and said "You're not very imaginative, are you?" . Rainbow Dash just rolled her eyes and said "Whatever. Just take me there." The Doctor chuckled and proceeded to pull odd levers and push weird buttons that Rainbow had never seen before.
The TARDIS began shaking slightly and Rainbow Dash braced herself against the railing. A very loud noise began shuddering throughout the halls and then it all stopped. The Doctor turned to face Rainbow Dash and said "Alright, here we are. Cloudsdale, 490 B.C." Rainbow Dash ran to the door and opened it up with much enthusiasm, but what she saw wasn't appealing.
"What? What is it?" The Doctor walked over to join Rainbow Dash. "Umm, I don't recall their ever being Changelings in our ancient history." The Doctor cocked his head and said "Let me take a look" The Doctor pushed Rainbow Dash over to the side and looked out. He saw at least fifty Changelings terrorizing the city. "Well then, looks like we're in for some fun", he said confidently.
The Doctor turned to Rainbow Dash and said "You DO like danger, right?" Rainbow Dash's eyes became wide and the grin on her face was slightly disturbing. "Hay yeah!" she shouted. "Well alright! Let's go save history!" The Doctor yelled.
The Doctor and Rainbow Dash slowly stepped out of the TARDIS, not knowing what to expect. The air in the city smelled of... honey. The Doctor made a "Hmmmm" noise and got his Sonic Screwdriver in his mouth. He began scanning back and forth until the Sonic beeped three times.
"What's that thing?" Rainbow Dash asked with amazement. The Doctor looked at her, smiled, and said "A Sonic Screwdriver. It's a VERY multi-purpose tool. I'll explain later because right now, we have an evolution to stop."
Rainbow Dash shrugged and then began following The Doctor, who seemed to be heading straight for the heart of the Changeling invasion. It was very hard to ignore the thousands of screams and dead bodies, but Dash could do it for a bit.
After about ten minutes of walking, Rainbow Dash finally spoke up and said "What do you mean 'evolution'?" The Doctor looked back at her and said "Once the Changelings absorb enough power, their bodies begin to grow and change into a large bee-type creature, which is why we are smelling honey. But, it is a very gradual process and this is just the beginning where very few of them have evolved".
Rainbow Dash cocked her head and said "What's a bee?" The Doctor chuckled and said "A very pesky insect creature, but that isn't important at the moment. Let' just keep walking".
"Why aren't the Changelings attacking us though?" Rainbow Dash asked. The Doctor grunted and said "Who would you like to eat? A creature beaming with love and compassion, or an old stallion with a heart with barely any love for anyone in this dimension?" Rainbow Dash just rolled her eyes and accepted the answer.
After about ten more minutes of walking, the pair had reached a large, green hive-looking building. "Alright. Here's the plan. You are going to go in and distract the guards while I try to find their leader. Once there, I can try to make some sort of agreement." Rainbow Dash nodded and bashed down the door, attracting a lot of attention.
"Well, this is going to be easy" The Doctor said with a smile
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dashiee!!!
I'm going to continue tracking, but I'd like to reiterate what I and others have said before: proper punctuation is important. It makes the story neater and easier to read, and it makes it more likely for people to give it a chance without immediately clicking out or worse, thumbing down.
More detail would be nice too, but other than the punctuation (and possibly others, but punctuation is my personal pet peeve so it's usually the only kind I notice) this story isn't bad so far.
I don't understand what you were saying in the last chapter, just having Dash in it makes it more exciting. But that could also be because I'm so used to build-up
how is the doctor in cloudesdale he is an earth pony