The main problem I have with this. Is that the way pinkie talks sounds exactly like how rarity talks in the story. It's really unnatural

sweetie belle is rarity sister not daughter

6687748 Technically speaking, that is Quite correct, but why do they never actually foster her?
We may have seen them in an episode; but they were merely visiting Rarity, at the time.
6687673 Aside from the antics of Pinkie Pie, they are speaking fairly similar, even in the show; even if I guess Rarity is a far extreem on her side of the scale?
This is a specific set, based on the two being together and loving one-another.
Would it be easier with an AU tag?
On that note, if you would feel like explaining how I could make them sound less like the same, while staying true to the story, and their character? I would be happy to here any suggestions.

I trotted the short distance to Rarity at the Carousel Boutique; where she lives with her Daughter Sweetie Belle

Wow.

Such a basic thing and you can't even get this right.

Just...wow.

6688661 True, true. But I just ignored it.

6688661 Simple, have a second look at how they live together, even when they are saying that they are sisters? You have noticed that it is Rarity who is raising Sweetie Belle, right? She is doing a great job at it too, by the way.
6688691 I am curious as to what you mean, since I can see more than one meaning to that here.

Ps: note that the line is intended to explain why Rarity is free to go out with Pinkie Pie, first and foremost.

6688765 It doesn't change the fact that they're sisters. You can't just call her Rarity's daughter when they're sisters, expect people not to correct you, and then use your half-assed lopsided logic to shrug it off when you're called out on it and expect that to suffice.

They're sisters. Period. End of story. Fact trumps your nonsense.

6688775 Speaking of half Assed, it is just one line in a mature fic.
Sorry, after what I have seen lately, I am losing my respect for you.

6688798 That's the same thing you say every time someone criticizes your work. I've heard it before, I'm sure I'll hear it again.

6688892 Is it?
While you are still here, how about you show off some of the reputation you supposedly were so proud of, when I first met you on the site; assuming you are actually him?
I hear every day, how others are complimewnted for vcarous accomplishments, but when I do the same thing, there is never a comment on it, why is that? Am I not well known enough?
I am not asking for more than a hint of recognission. I guess that is too much to ask. Considering how many of my stories you found, you would have seen what I mean, right?

On the original note, you have noticed how little the Ponies care about geneology and such?

Maybe you could write a story where Snips and Snails are in the Sisterhoof Social? If you are anywhere near as good as your claims and reputation claims, the story could be epic.

6688798

A little pride in your craft goes a long way.