Day to Day: A story of a Royal Guard armorer

by HelicalGear

Banter

Author's Note:

Written within the Quill & Blade universe, with permission from Anzel.
To view and support the official Quill & Blade fiction check out http://quillnblade.com/ and support Anzel and Crystal Wishes on Patreon.

Day to Day
A Story of a Royal Guard Armorer

Banter

So here I am with no hope of escaping. I just had to endure the evening without making any mistakes that Lieutenant Shimmer Stone would think unprofessional or un-stallionlike. Shouldn’t be too hard right?

Shimmer was currently dabbing a cloth to her neck after I had attempted to take a drink of water at the same moment she had asked me if I had a special somepony. As you can imagine, the sudden question caused me to choke and got us to where we were right now. Me red-faced and her drying off as we sat across from each other in the restaurant she had picked to have dinner at before we went on to the theater.

“I am so sorry ma’am” I said for the forty fifth time.

“Relax, it was too personal a question anyway” She smiled, wiping some Heli-water from her chin.

“Ma’am, if I may, do you do this with all the ponies in your unit?”

“Hm?” She looked at me, her gaze measured, waiting to see if I would ram my hoof in my mouth.

“Take your staff out like this” I said carefully, forelegs ready to block any incoming projectiles.

“Well, I like to know my ponies one on one” She said with a slightly teasing tone “Steelmane was hilarious” She added.

I thought back to earlier in the day when my shift ended. Steelmane had been watching me like a hawk until I was alone. He had grabbed me by the shoulder and took me aside in the main QM store.

“Listen up Helical, Shimmer will do everything in her power to make you feel utterly out of place” He said sternly.
“She does this for two reasons. One, to see if your personality is up to scratch, and secondly to see if your heart is really in the job. So be mindful of that...And for the love of the princess’s don’t let her make you dance....” His tone was one of a soldier who had seen too much “...No dancing...” He muttered.

So this was a test? I had to show drive and enthusiasm? Well, I doubt anypony in command would have agreed to her methods, but she must have passed officer school somehow, and it certainly wasn’t by following the regulations religiously, given the situation I found myself in right now.

After dinner we went to the theater, and I have to admit, Shimmer was looking like a member of the Canterlot elite. She was wearing a pale blue silk dress that seemed to shift and flow like water. Not to sound too smug, but I thought I polished up pretty well myself. I had retrieved my tuxedo that I used to wear on formal events back in Baltimare, usually antique shows or timepiece displays.
As we sat through the performance, which was some form of satirical comedy show based on how outsiders viewed the life of Canterlot ponies, I kept glancing over to Shimmer, who in turn was looking back at me in a manner that made me feel like she was examining every reaction I made.

Throughout the performance I gave polite laughs where I thought they should be, smiled where I considered a joke to be too close to the bone but still “amusing” and the occasional chuckle when I genuinely understood what was going on. Baltimare high society was somewhat different to Cabterlot, so most of it went over my head to a degree. I was silently praying that the Lieutenant was impressed with my apparent understanding of it all.

It was just around the time where I felt I had this nailed that the Lieutenant leaned over during a stand-up section of the show and whispered into my ear “You never did answer me when I asked if you had a special somepony”

I coughed loudly and jerked my head away from her in surprise. Big mistake.

“Ah, somepony in the fourth row, you there! In the fancy tux!” The pony on stage called out right before a spotlight illuminated me.
“Um.... Yeah?” I said, my ears dropping flat to my head, feeling a blush burn through my cheeks.

“You and your marefriend there look like the most classy couple here. C’mon ponies, give these two a big ‘AWW’

The crowd gave a big rippling ‘AWWWH!’ which made the Lieutenant giggle and me wish I was somewhere safe, like the moon, alone, with no comedy pony to ruin it. However, my mouth had something to say as I felt a sudden rush of irritation.

“Were not a couple! She’s my boss!” I practically yelled at the stage. The crowd seemed to still and the pony on stage smirked, bigger mistake!

“Oooooh so trying to earn some favor in the eyes of your beautiful boss hm?” The pony on stage retorted.

This time, the Lieutenant spoke up “Oh, ignore him.. He’s new and I thought I would help loosen him up” She winked at the comedian who grinned and nodded.

“The poor fellow” The pony chuckled before letting the show continue, picking out another pony to comment on her mane. The lieutenant looked at me and smiled.

“Oh smile Helical, it could be worse”

“Really?” I whispered with as much venom as I could muster.

She nodded “Yep, I could be taking you dancing” Her eyes narrowed dangerously “You do dance.. Don’t you?”

“I uh... Not in a long time. I would hate to trip over your hooves and ruin something you apparently enjoy a lot. Given what the others told me”

The Lieutenant grinned and nodded “Nice recovery... I’ll spare you. This time..”

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I was stood in the metal-shop just beginning my shift for the day, First sergeant Molten and Sergeant Steelmane were stood either side of me, both of them seemed more like talkative mares more than Royal Guardsponies.

“Did she wear the blue dress?” Molten asked

“Yes” I responded absently.

“She took you to the theater? To a comedy show?” Steelmane asked.

“Yes”

“And. She didn’t make you dance?” Molten looked to Steelmane as he asked me.

“Correct”

The two stallions looked at each other then at me as I was trying to busy myself with a spring-lock used on the bucking targets in the training area, which apparently, got broken often enough to take a pony to their repairs every day.

They both turned to me and said in unison “She likes you”

I blinked “No she doesn’t”
“She does” again with the unison. This was getting odd.

“Can a pony be left to his duty without his Squad leader and his unit First Sergeant prying in to his life outside of work?” I said dryly.

The Sergeants both laughed “Oh come on Helical” Molten smiled.

“Yeah, it’s not like we stand guard all day and need to be as rigid as CHG or LHG ponies right? We can have some banter!” Steelmane chipped in, then raised a brow as Molten whispered something to him with a smirk.

“Oh well... She is a totally different matter.”

“Who?” I asked, trying to hide the fact that the whispering suddenly piqued my curiosity.

“Oh” Molten shrugged “We can’t talk about officers in this manner in front of guards like yourself Helical. Not on duty at least... Would be rude to spread rumors”

“If they were actually rumors” Steelmane chuckled “We have a meeting, First Sergeant. We can’t keep the Lieutenant waiting any longer”

The two nodded to each other then walked off, whispering to themselves. That suited me just fine. I had work to do and didn’t want to try to make sense of what had happened.

One thing was clear however. Once these ponies got to know you could do your job they seemed to relax and open up a bit. Not something I was expecting after going through regular guard training which focused on the lack of talking required to do your job. So be it, I thought to myself as I tested the repaired spring-lock mechanism.

These ponies acted differently, and I should make a real effort to know them as well as the unique type of bond they all shared. I guess it had something to do with the lack of visits from command, so long as the quality and pace of the armory’s output kept up with demand.

I think now I am beginning to really find my hooves here. If it wasn’t for the Lieutenant using me to create some gossip and get ponies talking to me more. The thought made me pause.

....She is devious!