The Speeches of Toys

by AnObliviousAuthor

Meet and Greet

Spike was starting to feel uncomfortable from the intensity of Rarity's gaze. She had sort of frozen since he greeted her, mouth ever so slightly open, and her eyes huge. Twilight tried to get Rarity's attention by clearing her throat.

It didn't work.

"Uh... Are you okay?" Spike asked, shifting his weight from foot to foot as best he could on the unstable surface of Charlie's pillow. He had, of course, daydreamed about his lovely princess, but seeing her there, just staring at him was something else entirely. But his discomfort finally ended, as hearing Spike's question snapped Rarity out of her trance at last.

"Er, ahem, y-yes, I'm fine." Rarity finally said. "Just a little surprised that Charlie has you, is all."

"Oh, good! You already know her name." Twilight said, finally receiving attention from Rarity. "You also already know the basic rules: don't let her see you moving, talking, etcetera; don't do anything you can't undo before she sees; be there for her as best you can." Rarity nodded slightly at each item Twilight listed, these were things that every toy from every company, every show, every nation, knew. "However, there are a couple other things that are important to know." Twilight then went on to explain Charlie's weekly schedule, something that Spike already knew due to the fact that he was her second piece of MLP:FiM merchandise ever.

First was a six-inch Fluttershy doll she had gotten in a Christmas stocking, but how could Spike compete with Charlie's favorite Pony? Especially since he hadn't been in production at that time. Next had been Pinkie, then Twilight, then Derpy or whatever her name was, then Luna, then an alicorn Twilight with a yarn mane that stayed on the desk right beneath where Spike was standing, and now, Rarity. That didn't, of course, account for all the other types of Pony merch, but Spike couldn't be bothered to remember everything.

Around the time Spike finished reminiscing, particularly about the day Charlie got him, Twilight had finished explaining, in excruciating detail, Charlie's weekly schedule. Grateful that it was over, Spike added something he knew Twilight would have forgotten. "Also, sometimes Charlie and her family will go on trips. Usually she'll take one of us."

"Right." Twilight said. "Well, with all of that out of the way, we should-" but it was never revealed what Twilight believed to be their next course of action, because the reappearance of Charlie caused all of her pony plushes to collapse back to how they were left.

"Ugh, I can't believe that boy!" Charlie fumed. "I mean, why can't he leave me alone for two minutes!?" She continued to grumble to herself as typing was heard on a keyboard. Spike sighed internally. Oh, boy, he thought to himself, Edward really miffed her this time, didn't he? Of course, no one answered his unasked question about the younger brother that caused Charlie's distress. Noticing that Charlie was being a bit more forceful than necessary, seeing how her typing shook the entire bed, and recognizing that Charlie would need a better stress relief than whatever she was doing was likely to give her, Spike decided to "accidentally" fall from the bed. So, he rolled over to the edge, and waited for the perfect opportunity. Then, on a particularly strong shake, he flipped himself over the metal bar and let himself free-fall for the six feet to the floor.

Thump! Went Spike's body as it hit the ground. The sound got Charlie's attention, and she turned to the origin. Seeing Spike lying limply on the floor, she stood up and quickly snatched him up.

"Was I really shaking the bed that hard?" she muttered under her breath. "Oh, Spike, I'm so sorry!" she said a bit louder, drawing Spike into a tight hug. Something seemed to occur to her then, because after shifting her hold so she could look in the plush dragon's face, she said, "Come on, Spike! We're gonna watch the next episode of Pony together!" Spike didn't start at the sudden change, having gotten quickly used to Charlie's emotional fluctuations. Charlie quickly turned to her laptop, where she had apparently been having a chat with someone.

LunaFan2000: Hey, girl, what’s hanging?

FlyingFeet1416: Not much. Just got some new MLP merch. Also HE is being annoying.

LunaFan2000: Oo, not sure how i should feel for you

FlyingFeet1416: how about jealous instead of uber jelly. the merch is Rarity and-

That was all Spike was able to read before Charlie shut the window. Then Spike was in the crook of Charlie's arm, dizzily watching as wood look-alike linoleum floors switched with beige, textured walls about ten times before Charlie spun on her toes and sat down. With the remote conveniently on the couch, Charlie was able to turn everything on. Heading for the TV's web browser, it wasn't long before she had the one where Pinkie knows playing.

There were times, meaning more than once, when Charlie paused the video so that she could laugh. To the point where tears of mirth were streaming from her eyes. It was almost as bad as two episodes ago, where she paused the video for five minutes when ‘cousin Orchard Blossom’ was revealed so that she could laugh. Granted, Spike had wanted to laugh too, at how Big Mac was acting, but he had to mostly keep a straight face. But that day… Spike had, more than once, been on the receiving end of Pinkie’s mania, so seeing a two-dimensional version of her doing shenanigans wasn't as amusing to Spike as it was to Charlie.

So, while Charlie calmed down from her laughter, Spike let his mind wander to the Rarity doll. Dolls cannot have children, for obvious reasons, and age doesn't have the same effect on a doll as it on a truly living creature. For, although a doll cannot be compared to a golem, mindless and soulless, a doll is not truly alive either. And, that also meant that technically, he was the same species as her… Spike very nearly shook his head, despite Charlie's presence. After all, how could he ever hope to catch Rarity's eye? Knowing Charlie, she'd try to keep her clean and pristine, while he was allowed to… Collect dirt from his and Charlie's trips together. Spike was separate enough from his in-show counterpart to recognize the hopelessness of entertaining such an idea. As Charlie finally calmed down enough to continue the episode, Spike came to a decision. A decision that whether or not he and Rarity became more than friends didn't matter, so long as Charlie was happy. But if Rarity offers, I won't say no. And he watched the rest of the episode unperturbed.

Author's Note:

Finally! This took way longer than it should have. So, sorry about that, and hope you enjoy!