The Ballad of Discord

by KidatHeart5

A Journey

It was a gloomy, gray day, at a quarter past two…from some distant land came a familiar crew. Two silhouettes emerged, matching one another. These two were none other than the Flim Flam Brothers!

“Flim and Flam?” Apple Bloom gasped as she stood in the pool. Scootaloo scowled, “What are those two doing here?” Discord held up a paw and said, “Don’t you fret, girls. I’ll handle this.” He waded out of the swimming hole and popped into attire that was similar to the brothers’. He cleared his throat, “I say, gentlecolts, for what business have you come to this quaint little spot?”

Flim answered, “We’re glad you asked, good sir.” Flam held out some blueprints and said, “Why don’t you see for yourself?” Discord held the blueprints in his hands and squinted his eyes as he tried to make out the weird squiggles and doodles. Discord scratched his head as he confessed, “I can’t see what this has to do with the swimming hole…or even what it’s supposed to be.”

Flim said, “Why, it’s going to be our new golf course!”

Flam said, “Ponies will travel for miles to experience our one-of-a-kind Super-Deluxe Golfing Delight Extreme!”

“This place is perfection! It’s just what we need.”

“With a few slight corrections, it’ll be heaven, indeed.”

The CMC and the other ponies at the swimming hole began to protest at this.

Apple Bloom argued, “Ya can’t take away our watering hole!”

Scootaloo agreed, “Yeah! It’s where we swim!”

Sweetie Belle retorted, “Where we are we supposed to go if it’s gone?!”

Discord calmed down the angry crowd and said, “All right, all right. Settle down, now.” He then turned to the Flim Flam Brothers and snarled at them, “Nopony’s going to take away this spot away for as long as I’m standing here.” The brothers didn’t feel the least bit threatened and instead whistled for a row of bulldozers to appear. The crowd gasped and Discord corrected in an uneasy voice, “Unless you have the equipment necessary to mow down this place.” The brothers also took out a piece of paper and Flam smirked, “And we have the documented approval of the Mighty Minotaur Construction Company.” Discord’s ears drooped as he muttered, “Oh.”

Flim said, “We’ll give you five minutes to skedaddle.” Flam said, “So hop along!” Everypony rushed to gather their belongings and get to a safe distance from the bulldozers. Discord stopped and gasped, “Quincy!” He summoned a fish net and used it to grab Quincy out of the water. He put his fish back in the fishbowl and asked out of concern, “Are you all right, Q?” They then joined the others about half a mile away from the swimming hole.

In what seemed like a flash, the watering hole was instantly replaced by a grandiose golf course. Discord and the ponies were only mere inches away from the golden gates.

Their small protests fell on naught but deaf ears. Discord’s anger burned bright. The girls’ eyes welled with tears. An old colt scolded and told them, “Keep a stiff upper lip. Do not cry. Be brave at heart. Chin up, now. Pip pip.”

The girls then sighed heavily, “What are we going to do now? It’s not like there’s anywhere else to swim.” Discord took pity on them and then, an idea hit him.

Discord gritted his teeth and decided to see if there were more lakes with the help of his fish, Quincy.

“WAAAAA!!! It’s so sad to see you go! Where else can we get chocolate rain?!”

“Take heart, dear Pinkie,” Discord assured her. “I’ll be back with a new swimming hole for you all. Now, chin up. Pip pip.” Discord felt that he was going to enjoy that line every time he used it.

“Will you be gone long?” Sweetie Belle looked up at him with big eyes. Seeing her green eyes flicker like that almost broke Discord’s heart. However, he mentally told himself to chin up, pip pip before he told Sweetie, “Don’t worry, my Sweets. By the time I return to Ponyville, you will be swimming and dipping in a new pool.” She hugged as she said, “Thank you for doing this for us.” Discord returned the embrace and said, “You’re very welcome.”

He took his bag and his fish before heading off to the horizon. He waved good-bye to the folks of Ponyville and it was returned by warm farewells. He was genuinely touched by this and almost broke down again. Once more, he thought to himself, Chin up, now. Pip pip. You’re not going to find a new place to swim with tears in your eyes. Buck up!

He set off to search for a new pond they could surf. A place with no golf clubs and no Astroturf. But every pond was empty, every pool was dry. Every trough was spoke for, yet still he had to try. He traveled each road and sought out every route. But instead of finding fun, Discord got the boot.

He found a cave at one point and discovered a small puddle. He thought, It may not seem like much, but I shall remedy that. When he spread his hands out, the puddle expanded into a pool. Then, he saw a chilling reflection of sinister eyes staring down. In an instant, he raced out of the cave with Quincy as he told his fish, “Okay, not one of my best ideaaaaas!” While he was saying that, he accidentally rolled on a log and fell into a mud pit.

He grimaced as he wiped the mud off his face, “Yuck! Disgusting! Well, I guess we’ll have to keep trying, Q…” He looked around to see that his fish wasn’t there. He searched the mud and called out, “Q? Q, where are you? Q?!”

Fortunately, a mud bubble floated up and it popped to reveal Quincy in his water orb. Discord caught the orb as it descended and fussed, “Oh, Q, you got your travel sphere dirty.” Looking at his pet fish, Discord thought of how lucky Q was for even having a place to swim. For a moment, he thought of converting Q’s swimming bowls into pools for the ponies. But then again, where else would Q swim? Discord was torn between letting the ponies go without swimming or his fish.

Q meant too much to him…as did his friends. If he was willing to work with other ponies for a musical to get Q back, then he would surely venture far to find a swimming place for his friends. He couldn’t let them down. He already did that several times. Would he dare to go back empty-handed if he was unsuccessful in his search? Tears brimmed his eyes as he thought of such a possibility.

And the reward for his efforts, it was always this quip…

Just as Discord was on the brink of crying, a hermit pony came up to him and smacked him. The old stallion scolded, “Only little foals cry. Chin up, now. Pip pip…” Discord turned away from the pony as the latter coughed and snorted. Now what was Discord supposed to do? There was nothing else to do but keep looking and hope that he’d find somewhere promising.

After all, he couldn’t let his friends down.