The Earthbound Crossover

by The_Patriarch

(Friendship is) Magic: The Gathering

CHAPTER 3-(Friendship is) Magic: The Gathering

The next morning, on the outskirts of town, Ness and the gang, surprisingly, were mostly unharmed. They arose from the burning wreckage that used to be a bus.

"Ness, you've done it this time!" Paula screamed, still shaking, "I thought you said we were going to Saffron City!"

"Rather quite, chum. This location does not resemble Saffron City in the slightest." Jeff added.

"Relax guys! That was just a diversion! This is our real vacation spot," Ness said, leading them to the top of the hill, "Feast your face!"

As he said this, Ness gestured to the small town in front of them. It looked...alright. The group, with no other options, decided to explore the town.

"This place is truly remarkable," Jeff mused, as they were walking down a crowded street, "It is almost as vivid as our world. It also is inhabited by a strange equestrian species of organisms."

As Jeff said this, he stopped to observe one of the local inhabitants with awe. Poo, however, was not amused. He slumped with his arms crossed at the back of the party.

"I think it's stupid," he commented.

"I think it's cute!" Paula responded, "And look! They even have a neat treehouse!"

"A treehouse! Let's go explore!" Ness said.

The party approached the tree. Ness tried to open the door, but it was locked. Ness became agitated at the door.

"Ya wanna fight, tough guy?" Ness shouted to the door. As he spoke, he pulled out his trusty baseball bat. He took aim at the door.

One strong swing sent the red door flying off its hinges.

"Ness?! What are you doing? This isn't our house!" Paula inquired, with a bit of scorn in her voice.

"It is now," Ness replied, with his same dorky smile.

Inside the house, the majority of the inhabitants were asleep on the second story. Ness came in and made himself at home; he plopped his fat behind onto a delicate chair in the library. A small purple baby dragon took notice, and made it his duty to rouse and inform his master.

"Twilight! Twilight!" The dragon, Spike, called.

Twilight arose, still groggy with sleep.

"What is it, Spike?" she inquired.

"Who is the obese, yet handsome boy, who just plopped into one of your reading chairs?" Spike replied.

Ness teleported right behind them.

"Right back at you, buddy!" he said. He then turned to his friends. "Kick it!"

Jeff recognized the command, and pulled a sound stone out of his pants. He set the tune to the most loud, obnoxious, ear-bleedingly cool techno-hip-hop-rap beat the likes of Equestria have ever heard. As it started playing, Ness and his friends started dancing erratically like clumsy robotic monkeys with black antoids in their pantoids. Ness, however, was the most clumsy of them all, and he tripped. He then rolled into a bookshelf, collapsing it on top of him. Even though the odiously funky beat failed to wake them, the crash from the bookshelf managed to arise Twilight's other guests: Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Apple Jack, and Pinkie Pie.

Twilight's eye twitched as she watched the carnage these strange intruders relentlessly brought onto her home. In an attempt to help Ness, Paula used PK Fire on the bookshelf Ness was trapped under, and it burst into flames. It was enough to free Ness from the book mountain, but it set his hat on fire. Remember that day in school where you were taught to stop, drop, and roll if you caught fire? Ness fell asleep in the toy box that day. Ness scrambled around the room, knocking over furniture, frightening guests, and lighting any and all fabric and paper on fire.

Twilight had completely lost it now. Her whole body was twitching and shaking as she tried to control her impulses. In a burst of fury, she used her magic to extinguish the fires. She kicked Ness out the open window, and he fell to the ground like a rock. As soon as Ness hit the ground, the music stopped. All was silent for a few seconds. The fall did not phase Ness at all. Ness ran back into the house and tried to dance again until he noticed there was no music.

"Hey? Who turned off the dope beats?" Ness exclaimed.

"GET OUT, OR I'LL KICK YOU SO HARD EVEN YOUR FAT WON'T PROTECT YOU!" Twilight asserted.

"Um...Twilight..." a small yellow pegasus pony, Fluttershy, said, "...Remember how the Princess said to deal with conflict..."

"I DON'T CARE! LOOK WHAT THEY DID!" Twilight screeched.

The sudden conflagration from her friend caused Fluttershy to squeal and hide under the ashes of burnt books.

Paula, Poo, and Jeff, slowly backed out of the house, dragging a whining Ness with them.

Author's Note:

The_Patriarch used PK Brainshock!

It only gets weirder from here, folks.