Surrogates: The Darkest of Nights

by UnweptSchlipps

Miracles and Blessings

“Birth is the sudden opening of a window, through which you look out upon a stupendous prospect. For what has happened? A miracle. You have exchanged nothing for the possibility of everything." -William Dixon

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“We’re going on another trip dear, and we’re leaving Sweetie Belle with you for the weekend.”

A pair of tropically suited ponies stood outside the Carousel Boutique, dropping a bombshell on the white unicorn inside. A cart was already piled high with suitcases, primed and ready to take another road trip across Equestria. But for Rarity, those suitcases only meant one thing. Babysitting.

The word lingered in the back of her mind like an incessant, buzzing fly. Heaving an overly-dramatic sigh, the unicorn said, “But Mum and Dad, this is the third time you’ve asked me to watch Sweetie Belle this month! I’ve got so much work to do-.”

“Nonsense, Rarity. She is your sister after all. We always have time for family,” her father said crossly. He pushed the young filly forward, who tried to give her sister the sweetest smile she could conjure. But the lavish unicorn wasn’t paying attention, still glaring angrily at her parents.

“But Daddy-.”

“No more, Rarity. We’re going to have to go now, or else we won’t make it to the ferry in time,” her mother quickly interrupted. Planting a loving kiss on the filly’s forehead, she said gently, “Be good to your sister, okay dear?”

“Okay mom,” Sweetie Belle answered, although she wasn’t sure if this was directed more towards her or the pouting unicorn standing over her. Without another word, the couple dashed toward the cart and sped away down the road, leaving the two sisters staring back at disbelief.

“So…how’s it going?” Sweetie asked sheepishly. However Rarity only gave a quick scoff before retreating back inside. This is going to be soooo much fun…the young pony thought before following her sister.

The Boutique was in complete and utter disarray, which basically meant a huge event was coming up. Most of the time, besides a few scraps laying here and there, Rarity kept the place organized and clean. The posh unicorn normally would never have let the place become as cluttered as it was now. Unfinished dresses and scraped fabrics were strewn across the floor, measuring tape was hung on whatever outcropping Rarity could find, and mannequins were covered with bits and pieces Rarity hadn’t even bothered taking off. Wow, she wasn’t kidding, Sweetie Belle said to herself.

“Rarity, what are we-,”

“Listen Sweetie Belle, normally I would be happy to have you over. But as you can see, I am completely busy at the moment, what with the Spring Fling Dance coming up. And we all know how nit-picky teenagers can be,” Rarity responded, a bit of distaste dripping from her voice. “So I need you to just leave me be for a bit, okay?”

“But Rarity,” the filly pleaded. “Don’t you remember what you said? You said you’d always find time to play with me.”

“Oh I know what I said back at the Sisterhooves Special, dear,” the fashionista replied, trying to keep her voice as calm as possible. “But that was when I didn’t have seventy orders of completely different dresses, all of which want them delivered on the same day.”

Sweetie was feeling tempted to argue, but then Rarity began to levitate multiple pieces of fabric around the room. Soon, the place became a colorful flurry of dresses, needles, and lace. A magical blue glow encompassed the room as Rarity poured all of her attention into the task at hand. The unicorn’s tongue stuck out as she contemplated her designs, oblivious to the little one watching her. Seeing this, Sweetie hung her head low and shrank back into the living room, not wanting to break her sibling’s concentration. After all, we don’t want her to be late do we?

The filly sat on a soft couch, next to a large window. She stared longingly at the scene outside. The sun was already setting, and everypony was making their final rounds around town. For off, she could see a large mass of black clouds that seemed to be heading towards Ponyville. Sweetie Belle sighed. It was too late to hang out with her friends, and the cold weather already put a damper on whatever optimism she had left. All that was left to do was stare at the horizon and watch Celestia lower the golden sun.

Unfortunately, this sort of thing wasn’t unusual. Lately, Mum and Dad have been prone to take “business trips”, leaving Sweetie Belle to share a house with Rarity for the weekend. Perhaps even a few days if they were having fun (Mum and Dad of course). Under any other circumstance, this would have been okay for the filly. After the Sisterhooves Special, Sweetie Belle was ready, even expecting, to spend some quality time with her big sister. It’s just too bad Rarity never seemed to have enough time to spend.

It was like Rarity always had some kind of big project to do. When it wasn’t some lavish party, it was some stupid gala. And when it wasn’t some stupid gala, it was a dumb dance. And since Rarity took up almost every room in the house in order to work, it left Sweetie Belle with only one thing to do. Lie around and wish for the weekend to be over, which happened to be exactly what she was doing now.

“Mum and Dad always do this to me!” Sweetie heard Rarity utter. “It’s like they want me to take responsibility for something they…”

Rarity’s voice began to die away, and quietness swooped in once again. Burying her head in a cushion, Belle uttered to nopony in particular, “Dumb dresses!” She began to recall something she had said to her friends earlier that day. A casual remark, but one that she had meant from her heart. You girls have no idea how hard it is…having a family that never wants you around.

“Sometimes I just…I wish…gah!” Sweetie Belle said, continuing the conversation with her pillow. Soon she realized she was pouring out her feelings to an inanimate object, and rolled back over to stare out the window.

And then she did the only thing a filly could do. She took a nap.

xxx

Sweetie Belle awoke to the pattering of the rain and the sound of her own, rapid breath. She looked outside to see it was almost pitch-black. Raindrops smacked loudly against the window pane. The only light came from a glowing neon sign with the words LUNA’S MOONSHINE peaking over the rooftops.

The filly’s breathing was strained, and she could feel a bit of sweat on her forehead. She had a nightmare, no doubt about it. For some reason she couldn’t remember what it was about, and for some reason it didn’t even seem to matter.

“Rarity…” Sweetie Belle called meekly. “Rarity…I had a bad dream.” But nopony came out of the dimly lit living room, and the tiny pony thought, And of course she ignores me.

Hardening her tone, she said, “Rarity, I’m hungry! And you told me never to use the kitchen ever again.” Once again, silence was her only reply.

Giving an extremely pissed off grunt, the young mare decided to confront her older sister. She stepped into the living room, where the lights were dimmed so that everything was one big shadow. But the filly didn’t bother turning on the light, knowing her sister was probably upstairs. Place was still a mess though, that was the first thing Sweetie Belle noticed. In fact, it seemed like the place actually got messier while she napped.

“Gosh, my sister’s such a slob,” Sweetie whispered, laughing at her own ironic joke. She was so amused, in fact, that she forgot to pay attention to where she was going. She walked straight into the silhouette of a small table, knocking it over. There was a loud crash, followed by dozens of smaller cracks, followed by the sound of Rarity screaming from her room upstairs. And in the middle of the darkness, Sweetie Belle stood stock still, unsure of whether she should panic or not.

Finally, the stamping of hooves came from above, and Rarity poked her head out of the doorway. The fashionista clicked on the light switch and gazed down at the scene before her. Sweetie first noticed her sister’s mane, frazzled and completely out of order. Then she realized the look of utter shock painted on her sister’s face, staring right at her. At the filly’s hooves was a cardboard box, and spilling out of it were a mass of red fragments, reduced to mere dust from the fall. The tiny mountain of broken jewels still reflected light, twinkling in their broken splendor. But despite this, Rarity was still fuming, charging down the stairs to meet her clumsy little sister.

“Sweetie Belle, what have you done?” the elder cried shrilly. Scooping up the red mess, she scolded, “These were for the dresses!”

“Jeez, it’s just some rubies. I know you can find some more,” Belle replied, not meeting her sister’s eyes. For some reason, she felt no guilt for what she had done. If anything, she was…accepting of the attention her sister was giving. At the very least, her sister had acknowledged her existence.

But that tiny feeling didn’t last. Rarity’s voice became even sharper as she cried, “Why do you keep touching my things? I TOLD you I had work to you.”

Sweetie began her defense, saying, “I just wanted you and me to-,”

“Oh, I have to get these dresses done in two days. I don’t know if I can get enough rubies. I’ll have to go all the way to Bronco Bluff, and I don’t know if Spike is even available,” Rarity interrupted, her voice becoming ever louder. “Oh this is THE…WORST…POSSIBLE-,”

“I wish you’d stop doing that!” Sweetie shouted, fed up with her older sister’s complaining.

“Well, I wish you’d stop touching my gems.” The siblings’ voices kept getting louder and angrier, each time besting the other’s volume.

“I wish you’d stop choosing those dresses over me! It’s like I don’t even exist! Sometimes, I just wish that…that…” Here, the yound filly’s voice trailed off, and yet the words were ready to burst from her mouth.

“What Sweetie Belle? What is it?” Rarity prodded, almost yelling.

That is all that it took for Sweetie Belle’s anger to explode, screaming, “SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN!”

Spurned by the younger one’s sheer rage, the elder responded even louder, “YOU NEVER WERE SUPPOSED TO!”

For a moment, the two sisters stood there unmoving amidst all those dresses. They were breathing heavily, the rage steadily leaving their bodies. And then, the realization of what Rarity said sunk in. Sweetie Belle was the first to realize this, stepping back from her sister. The statement hit her like a train, knocking the breath right out of the surprised filly. And then, realizing what she had said, Rarity eyes widened, wracked with guilt.

Sweetie Belle stuttered, “W-What?”

“Oh, Sweetie Belle, this wasn’t how you were supposed to find out-,”

“Mom and Dad didn’t want me?” she questioned as tears began to form.

“No, please don’t think of it like that!”

“You…you didn’t even want to tell me? Is…is that why mom and dad keep leaving me behind?” the filly accused.

Then, with tears flowing freely down her cheeks, she galloped into the living room as her sister called apologetically, “Sweetie Belle!” The unicorn was left standing there, surrounded by the beautiful dresses she had created. But jewels adorning the fabrics seemed to have lost their luster, and the colors seemed to have faded. Rarity looked grimly at the mannequins as though they were real.

“Oh dear…what am I going to do?” the unicorn asked the pony-like statues. And of course, they ignored her.

I suppose I should have known this was coming, she pondered. For a while she just listened to the steady drone of the rain, hesitant to talk to her little sister. But pitter-patter didn’t provide much consolation, and after some careful thought, Rarity decided what to do. She sucked in a big breath, exhaling shakily. Then she made her way towards the dim living room, trotting across the broken jewels that remained forgotten on the floor.

She tip-toed into the room to see the tiny filly curled up on the couch, quietly sobbing. “Go away,” Sweetie Belle muttered, keeping her face concealed in the pillow. Rarity couldn’t bring herself to look at the sad little heap on the couch. Seeing Sweetie Belle like this…it broke the fashionista’s heart.

Rarity tried to sit down next to her sister. But when she attempted to reach a caring hoof out towards Sweetie Belle, the filly shied away. The posh unicorn tried again, and this time the filly offered little resistance, letting her elder caress her mane. Realizing that her sister had calmed down, Rarity began to speak.

“I have been dreading this day for a long time. We’ve tried to hold it off as long as we could, but…well, I suppose I can’t hide any secrets from you,” Rarity said, giving a soft chuckle to hide her grief. “Of course, only if that’s okay with you.”

After a few seconds of wondering, Sweetie Belle answered without looking back, “Tell me everything, Rarity.”

So with a voice barely above a whisper, the elder sister recited, “You see dear, mother and father…they planned on having me. They thought that I would be the last child. But then, they…oh how do I put this? They did something that, well, wasn’t exactly in their family plans. You see…mother…” Here, the unicorn bit her lip as memories of a sad past reappeared in her mind. After many more moments of regaining composure, Rarity found herself continuing her story.

“She had something called…a miscarriage. It was a colt. He had something wrong with his heart. He…he didn’t make it. We didn’t want to name him.” The sudden mention of death caught the filly’s attention. She turned ever so slightly towards her big sister, who kept proceeding, “He was…well…let’s just say we never really recovered from that. And after our parents lost him, mother vowed to never have another child. But soon, things changed.”

A few mist-…err…happenings later, and then mother found out the news. She was pregnant again. With you.” By now, Sweetie Belle shifted so that she was facing her sister. Although the rest of her face remained hardened, Sweetie’s eyes began to soften at Rarity’s mention of her.

“Now Sweetie, you must understand that, back then, mother and father was going through hard times. Money was quite scarce you know, and they were doing all they could until I graduated. We were still grieving over our baby brother. So when you came along…we didn’t know what to do.

We were afraid that you were going to…to die like the last one. And if you did survive, we were afraid there would be something wrong with you. And…mother and father didn’t want to put somepony through that. Especially somepony that had no say in the matter,” Rarity explained, running a caring hoof through her little sister’s forelock.

“Mother and father…they were planning on having…a…erm…” The beginnings of a tear began to form among Rarity’s eyelashes, and her voice wavered unsteadily. Contemplating her next words carefully, the fashoinista continued, “Well, let’s just say there was a way for mother to not give birth to you.”

Sweetie Belle finally looked up at her sister questioningly, and she piped, “But how is that even possible? You can’t stop from having a baby, can you?”

“Oh Sweetie Belle, this is the complicated part I was worried about,” Rarity responded. “I’m afraid that you’re too young to understand about these types of things.”

But this statement made the filly look down, disappointedly. Realizing this, Rarity quickly continued, “But I do realize now that you’re old enough to know the whole story.” Both ponies found themselves unconsciously bracing themselves for what was to come. The two squeezed in tighter, with Sweetie Belle tucking herself into Rarity’s hug.

“So, Mommy and Daddy were seriously contemplating the procedure. One day, we were all sitting in the den. Mother was crying because she didn’t know what to do, and Father was there trying to console her. She kept rubbing her belly, and I could tell she was thinking of you. It must have been hard for her and Dad to through that.” I know it was hard for me, Rarity thought.

“The choices were practically between the death of their own child, or the probable demise of their own family. And, as you can see, it wasn’t exactly the easiest choice to make. As Mother wept, our Dad turned to me and said, ‘Rarity what do you think we should do? Should we have the baby?’

Now, I was just a young mare at that time, so I could barely follow along with what was happening. All I knew was that the life of my baby sister was in my hands. Obviously, it was quite a big decision for a filly like me to make,” the unicorn said. “I thought of…the last one. I thought of how devastated mother would be if she lost another. How devastated we would be.”
“But then I thought of all the…the fun times I could have with a little sister,” Rarity said, stroking the little sister in her embrace. A small smile as well as a small tear lay on her face, and although she couldn’t see it, Sweetie Belle was doing the very same thing.

“ I thought of all laughs we could share, all the games we’d play, the secrets we’d tell each other. Perhaps I’d even teach you how to design like your big sister. I would always love you and protect you like a big sister would, and no matter what happens you’d still be there for me. Our love would be unconditional, eternal, and the best part, mutual,” Rarity whispered lovingly. These last words were uttered with the gentlest, fondest, most genuine tone the unicorn could muster.

“All these things rushed through my head as I sat there, watching our parents cry. Finally, it became clear to me what the answer was. At that point, it didn’t matter to me if you were born with a disability. Because you were going be my sister, and I would love you forever.”

With renewed vigor, Rarity finished, “It was that day that I made the fateful decision to say ‘Yes’. And I have never regretted that moment in my life.” For some reason, those words made the young filly smile. Because deep down, she knew those words were true.

“A bit of time later, on the summer solstice to be exact, and then you came along. Mother held you in her arms all soft and cute. Initially, you cried. But only a few seconds later, you began to sleep peacefully in Mother’s hooves, not even giving a peep. The doctor came back in and gave us the good news. You were healthy, not a problem in sight. It was then that I began to cry, looking at the sweet little bundle that was my baby sister.”

With an affectionate grin, Rarity said, “Mother let me hold for a bit you know. And when I held you, you gave a little grin. And, I’ll admit it Sweetie Belle, it melted my heart.

“Father asked me to name you. Outside, I heard bells ring because of the solstice celebrations, and then I look back down at your sweet, peaceful face. Being the totally creative pony I was, I whispered, ‘Sweetie Belle.’

“Okay, perhaps it wasn’t exactly the most creative name out there. But to me, it meant a lot. And it still does. Because it’s the name of the sweetest little sister a pony could ever wish for,” Rarity exclaimed, tapping Sweetie Belle’s nose playfully. The sweet little pony gave a small giggle, but something still ticked in the back of her mind.

“Rarity…I guess I’m not mad about the whole…being an accident and all that,” Sweetie Belle began. “ I’m just mad that you and mom and dad never told me anything about it. I can’t believe you thought I couldn’t handle it.”

Looking into the filly’s innocent eyes, Rarity explained, “Sweetie Belle, please don’t think of it like that. We didn’t want you to be hurt. We didn’t want you to live thinking you weren’t wanted. We just wanted…to protect you.”

“Protect me by keeping secrets? Makes sense,” she replied bitterly.

“Please little sister. Listen to me. I know I’m not a perfect sister. I tend to be a bit of a drama queen. I can be… a real bitch sometimes, oop, pardon my French. But…but…

“But never forget that I love you. Never ever forget that I will do whatever I can in my power to protect you. Sure, sometimes they may backfire. But that doesn’t make what I say any less true. Seeing you able to go on with your life despite all the turmoil you’ve been through even before you were born…it keeps me going too,” the fashionista said.

Then, pulling her sister in closer, she whispered, “I believe in miracles Sweetie Belle. Because I’ve got one staring me right in the face. You…are…a blessing. And I prefer to keep my blessings safe and sound.”

The two sisters held each other close, not wanting to let go. For Sweetie Belle, she felt her sister’s passion swell through her, she understood the turmoil her family has gone through. She knew that, whatever may happen, she would never be ignored. Not now, not ever. All those times when she had lain on the couch, wondering why she deserved to be alone; all those times were forgotten.

And for Rarity, she began to realize that moments such as these were few and far between. Holding her little miracle close like this…it was a moment she cherished. Because at that moment, she knew she was forgiven. And on nights such as these, that was all the unicorn needed. Planting a kiss on the filly’s head, Rarity made a mental pledge never to let Sweetie Belle feel unloved again.

“Why don’t I put you to bed Sweetie Belle? That is, unless you’d like to help me,” Rarity offered, still embracing her little blessing.

“Oh no, Rarity. After what happened with those jewels, I should probably stay away from those dresses.”

“Perhaps I should have named you Clumsy McKlutz,” Rarity joked, finally releasing her sister.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re funny. I guess I’ll go to bed,” Sweetie Belle replied with a smirk.

“Alright, well, at least let me tuck you in.”

“Jeez, you tell me a secret and all of a sudden you’re all clingy,” Sweetie Belle said with a grin on her face. But in reality, looking at her older sister’s passionate smile, Sweetie Belle couldn’t care less.

The pair of smiling sisters strode quietly into the bedroom together, their problems forgiven, and the glimmering pile of gems on the floor…forgotten.

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My, my...quite a mature topic if I do say so myself, way more so than the last two. But that's why it's rated teen. Pushing the boundaries and all that stuff.
Anywho, keep favoriting, commenting, and thumbing up! Up next...our very favorite bookworm, Twilight Sparkle!