• Published 7th May 2012
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Mass Equestria - HappySalesman



What if Mass Effect was inhabited by the races of Equestria?

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Chapter 1

In the year 2157, a group of Earth ponies discovered something on Mares that would forever change the direction of pony history.

This discovery, was that of an ancient race, with amazingly advanced technologies. With these new technologies, travel to the most distant stars was now available.

The races of the galaxy call it…

Mass Effect.

Chapter One

Beep.

I glanced down, my eyes widening in shock at the sight of the small cylindrical object laying at my hooves.

Beep.

“Grenade!” I screamed, dashing from behind cover. Bullets zipped around my head, passing close enough to singe the hair on my mane.

“I’ve got it!”

Beep.

I turned in horror as a young unicorn buck, his coat a forest green with a light brown mane, attempted to pick up the grenade with his telekinesis.

Beep. Beep.

I woke up with a start, my heart thudding in my breast. Next to me, on my nightstand, my alarm clock was giving off a steady beep, indicating I had 30 minutes before I was on duty. I reached over and swiped my hoof through the blue holographic display, shutting it off.

I shook my head, trying to shake the images from my dream from my head. I reached over and slipped my Omni-tool on, pressing a button on the top to brighten the lights. Squinting as the bright light stung my eyes, I stumbled my way into the bathroom and stuck my muzzle under the sink, letting the cold water erase any traces of my hellish sleep. I stared at myself in the mirror, not recognizing the pony that stared back. The streak of gray that ran through my mane was matted down and stuck to my coat, while other parts of the dark blue hair was sticking up at odd angles. I ran my hoof through my mane, putting it in some semblance of order. Sweat beaded on my coat, reminding me that a shower was in order before I started my work day. I stopped for a moment as I stepped into the cramped stall that consisted of my shower and considered my cutie mark. Nopony had ever been able to figure out what exactly it was, or what it meant my ‘talent’ was. It was a simple golden tiara, with a large, star-shaped sapphire affixed to the top. It wasn’t a ship, it wasn’t a rank insignia (though it was exactly where my rank insignia went on my barding) and it wasn’t a rifle, the only three things I had been relatively proficient at in my entire life.

“Commander, you’re needed on the bridge.”

I stopped with my hoof halfway to the shower knob, and let out a small knicker. “On my way Joker.”
I pulled my M7 barding out of the drawer set into the wall, and quickly started pulling it on. I gave a short whinny as I struggled to clasp the breast piece shut.

“Why can’t supply ponies ever get my size right? I know it’s supposed to be form fitting, but I’m not supposed to suffocate in this thing.”

“Commander, that would be because your size is directly between two Equestrian Navy sizes, making it difficult to find one that matches.”

I facehooved as the shipboard VI chirped. “It was a rhetorical question.”

Shifting in my barding, I made my way out of the door and up the stairs through the Combat Information Center, and up to the bridge.

I glanced around at the dark blue of the ship interior. Despite the fact that it was standard Equestrian Navy colors, I still felt that the color made the ship feel dank and gloomy, oppressive even. The only thing combating the darkness was the bank of holo-terminals lining the corridor that led to the bridge, and even then, it was a losing battle. Shrugging off my feelings, I walked into the cockpit and placed a hoof on the back of the pilot’s chair, watching as he expertly maneuvered his hooves over the holographic display.

“What’s our status, Joker?”

The light red stallion glanced back at me. “We’re just nearing the Arcturus relay ma’am. 30 seconds to transit.”
“Good,” came a voice from behind me, causing me to nearly jump out of my barding. “We’re ahead of schedule, your captain will be pleased.”

I turned and came face to face with Servius. He was a griffin Spectre, the slang term for the covert ops Special Tactics and Recon group. He stood a full hoof taller than me, with most of his body covered in his own, Spectre-only armor. The only body parts visible were his tail and his head, the latter of which was covered with an intricate pattern of dyes, which he had explained to me was an ancient war paint, which he and his fellow griffin soldiers wore as tribute to their ancestors. I opened my mouth to ask him what he meant by schedule, when a strong tingle started in the base of my hooves. As it made its way up my legs, I heard the distinct hum of the warp engines spooling up, signaling our immediate jump on the mass relay. Before I could react, a strong surge sent me staggering into one of the bulkheads, one of my ears being painfully crushed between my unyielding skull and equally unyielding steel.

“Commander, are you alright?” Servius stepped forward, extending a talon to help me up. I waved him off and stood up, checking myself for any further damage.

“I’m fine. What the hell was that?”

“What was what?” Joker turned around, both him and Servius giving me perplexed looks.

I frowned. “None of you felt that?”

“Felt what? Commander, are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine,” I said, shooting Servius a glare. I turned back to Joker, who had returned his attention to the controls. “What’s our ETA?”

“About 10 minutes to New Appleloosa Commander, we’ll be there in no time.”

I blinked. “New Appleloosa? Why are we going there?”

Servius stepped forward. “Spectre business, Commander. I’m going to go speak with your captain. In the meantime, I’d suggest visiting the med-bay before we go planetside.” He gave a slight smirk as he turned and walked out of the cockpit, while I glowered at his backside.

“Pompous, stuck-up, Spectre sonuva-,”

“What was that Commander?” Joker asked, a small smirk on his face.

“Nothing, Lieutenant.” Just then, the speaker embedded above the pilot’s chair crackled to life. The deep, rumbling voice of Captain Star Runner burst out of the speaker.

“Joker! Status report.”

“Just transited to warp sir. We should be at New Appleloosa within 7 minutes.”

“Good. Send Commander Streak to the comm room for briefing.”

“Roger sir.” With that, the speaker went dead. Joker turned his head at me, “You heard the man Commander. Good luck.”

Nodding, I turned and trotted back down the corridor, skirting around the elevator to enter the communications room located directly behind it. Inside was Servius, staring intently at a map of the New Appleloosa colony.

“Servius,” I said, announcing my presence.

“Ah, Commander,” He said, turning away from the map, “How is your head feeling?”

“Fine,” I responded tersely. “Now what’s all this about?”

“I’m glad you showed up before your captain did. I was hoping to have a moment to speak with you alone.”

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Several things ran through my head about the implications of what he
had just said. “Why? What about?”

“New Appleloosa was one of the first few colonies ponies ever settled, correct?”

I nodded, still unsure as to what he was getting at.

“And, after the disaster that was Manednoir, it’s the only true pony colony other than Equestria in the galaxy, right?”
I felt my body tense and I fought down the urge to buck this smug griffin into the nearest bulkhead. To talk about Manednoir, my home, like that i-

“Ah, Captain, you’re here.”

I turned around and nodded my greeting to Captain Runner. Like most of the older ponies in the Navy, his mane and coat were gray, mixing with the light brown of his coat and the black of his mane giving him a sort of salt-and-pepper look.

“Sir, what’s going on?”

“A few things are in motion right now Commander. Firstly, this mission to New Appleloosa, our real goal is something top secret. Officially, we’re just doing a shakedown run to test the Normanedy’s stealth drives. But the truth of the matter is that we’re on our way to pick up an ancient device. One left by the Alicorns.”

I felt my eyes widen, “What kind of device sir?”

“We’re not sure. A mining team stumbled on it a few days ago. So far it seems like nothing active, but the science teams on New Appleloosa don’t have the resources or equipment to run any real tests.”

I nodded, “What else was there sir?”

Captain Runner nodded his head towards Servius, “Servius isn’t just here for the Alicorn device. He’s here to evaluate you.”

My hind legs gave way, and I found myself sitting down with an unceremonious “clank” from my barding. Me? A Spectre? The first pony Spectre? “Sir.. I’m not sure what to say.”

“I read your file Commander. You did an exceptional job repelling the Diamond Dog attack on Elysium. You’re one of the Equestrian Navy’s most decorated officers. So I put your name forward as a Spectre candidate.”

I blinked. Servius put me as the candidate? Is that why the bastard was always acting so smug around me? Before I could respond, the comm speaker crackled to life.

“Captain! We’ve got trouble.”

“What’s going on Joker?”

“We received a transmission from New Appleloosa. You better see it.”

The screen behind us crackled, and the image shifted from the New Appleloosa map to a grainy image depicting several pony soldiers firing rapidly at an unseen enemy.

“Geff down!” One of the ponies, a mare with distinctive red and white armor, yelled at the camera man through the rifle bit in her mouth.

“We need evac!” Another shouted, this one grabbing the camera and centering himself in the image. “They came out of nowhere! We were… prepared. Sustaining heavy losses. We can’t…. evac!” The trio of us in the comm room winced as a stray round passed through the ponies skull, spattering the camera with blood. As the pony fell, the camera rolled until it was pointing at the sky, where through the haze of red and smoke, I could barely make out a large, black… claw. Shortly after, the image froze, indicating the end of the message.

“What the hell is that thing?” I asked, trying to discern any significant markings.

“I don’t know Commander, but your team and Servius had better get down there. We need that device.”

*** *** ***

“This looks like a good spot,” Servius said as we flew over the lush green landscape. Just a few miles away, a giant column of smoke rose into the sky, signaling the location of the colony. I looked at him questioningly, then I realized he couldn’t see my eyes through the mirrored visor of my helmet.

“Good spot for what?” I asked, yelling over the sound of wind rushing past the open cargo ramp.

“I’m going to scout ahead. I can move faster than you Earth Ponies, so I’m going to see if I can’t figure out what’s going on. I’ll radio you if I find something.” I nodded and watched as Servius jumped out of the shuttle, diving for a few moments before spreading his wings and banking around to head towards the colony. I made my way over to the cockpit and peered out of the window.

“There,” I said, pointing at a nearby cliff. “That looks like a good place to land.”

“Aye Commander,” the pilot said, expertly strafing his hoof across the controls, cutting us into a sharp bank that nearly dropped us out of the sky. Just before I started to worry that we were going to crash, the pilot pressed a button, igniting the vertical thrusters, and the craft gently settled down with a light thump.

“Good job,” I said, “I’ll radio you when we’re ready for pick-up.” I didn’t wait for a reply as I made my way from the cockpit to the cargo bay, where my team, sat waiting. I looked the two of them over, mentally judging their strengths and weaknesses. There was Corporal Red Oak, a young, cherry red stallion with a white mane, and Lieutenant White Cloud, a soft spoken unicorn with a forest green coat and a dark red mane. Red Oak was brash, but energetic, and had never backed down from a fight. White Cloud was more reserved, preferring to think situations over before going in guns blazing. Between the two of them and myself, I felt confident I had a team that I could pull through this, whatever it was.

“Alright boys,” I said, picking up my rifle and throwing the sling over my neck, “lets go.”

I winced as the bit of the rifle ground against my teeth. The navy preferred mass production over comfort, and the E-8 Avenger was no exception. The rifle’s only claim to fame above any other was the recoil dampers which, (when they worked) significantly reduced recoil, increasing accuracy and lowering the odds of knocking half of your teeth out. Next to me, White Cloud floated his rifle in front of him, the barrel swiveling this way and that, searching for any hostile targets. With a wave of my hoof, we cautiously trotted out onto the soft grass. I did a quick scan of the surrounding area, and aside from a pair of floating… sacs, there was nothing around us. I jerked my head to the left, indicating the path we should take and that Red Oak take point.

I paused as we crested a short hill, something just didn’t feel right. For an attack on a pony colony, there sure was a lack of enemy troops. I glanced down at Red Oak, who was at the base of the hill, maybe 50 yards in front of us. He had just turned his head to look back at us, when a pair of drones flew out from behind a rock, and peppered him with a barrage of fully automatic gunfire. His shields failed in moments, and I heard him grunt in pain as several bullets pierced his armor, spattering the ground behind him with blood.

Beep.

I shut my eyes, willing the images from my nightmare away. When I reopened them, Red Oak was on the ground, his coat mixing with his blood seeping from his wounds, and the two drones that had ambushed him were now floating toward us. With my tongue, I reached up the bit of the rifle and flicked the safety off, then quickly pulled the trigger, firing a short burst at the leftmost drone. I grimaced as I watched the rounds deflect harmlessly off the drone’s shield.

“Theff goff feelds!” I yelled through the bit in my mouth.

“No worries Commander,” the Lieutenant yelled back through the roar of their gunfire. I watched as he poked his head up, the tip of his horn flaring as he launched what looked like a translucent hoof-sized blob at the drones. The blob arced around, crashing into the side of one of the drones and sending it spiraling into the other. The drones exploded on impact, forcing us to duck as flaming shrapnel littered the area.

“Oak!” White Cloud yelled, dashing from cover to his fallen comrade. I trotted up behind him, my eyes darting left and right as I searched for more signs of an enemy ambush.

“He’s gone,” Cloud murmured, his rifle falling to the ground as his telekinesis spell failed.

“Soldiers die,” I said softly as I reached down with one hoof and closed Red Oak’s eyes. “We can grieve for him later lieutenant. Right now, there are colonists depending on us.”

White Cloud nodded and floated his rifle next to him. “Go in peace, Oak.”

No further than 10 yards away from Red Oak’s body was another pair of drones waiting. I dove behind cover as they opened fire, giving a grimace as a few rounds impacted my shield, draining it to half. I glanced at my radar, and watched the two red dots move apart, each circling around, trying to flank myself and White Cloud. I reached up with my tongue to one of the knobs set into the side of the bit, and flicked it from “semi” to “auto”. Adjusting my bite to something far less comfortable, but more stable, I leaned out from cover, swinging the rifle around and leveling the sights on the center of the drone. I depressed the trigger, sending a long burst of fire towards the drone until the recoil dampers had nearly overheated. I noted with some satisfaction that the shields of the drone had failed, and several small holes dotted its plating. It wavered slightly in the air, and I leveled the rifle again, firing a short burst. I winced as the dampers overheated and the rifle bucked in my mouth, causing my whole head to jerk back. My pain was short lived however, as the drone dropped out of the air, crashing into the ground before exploding.

Behind me, I heard a crackling sound, followed by a short burst of gunfire. I spun around, searching for a target, but the only thing there was a smoking heap of twisted metal, and White Cloud, looking more than a little triumphant.

“That’s three for me, Commander.”

I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to retort, but was cut off by a scream piercing the air. White Cloud and I shared a look of alarm before running up the hill. Rounding a corner, we arrived to see a young pony in standard Equestrian armor being chased by… something. It looked like a pony, in that it had four legs, a head and a tail, but that’s where the similarities ended. Instead of a mane, it had a cluster of short antennae sticking straight out of its head and neck. Instead of a head, its neck curved down, bluntly ending in a single glowing light that darted back and forth before focusing on me. I froze, unsure of what, or who, this was. A hatch opened on its back, and from the hatch emerged a long, triangular shaft, with three tubes running down the middle of it. I stared at the thing while it let out what I can only describe as a gurgle, before the shaft started spinning, starting slowly at first but picking up speed.

Oh, that’s what that is.

“Get down!” I yelled, diving to the side as a stream of bullets shredded the space I had been occupying a moment ago. I scrabbled to get behind a rock as the thing started shifting its aim, slowly moving the stream towards me. I managed to get behind the rock just as its aim centered on me, managing only to get in a few hits. A beeping in my helmet told me that the four hits I had taken had completely drained my shields, leaving me completely vulnerable. Meanwhile, the thing kept firing, keeping me pinned behind the rock.

“Shoot the damn thing!” I yelled into my helmet mic, ducking as I felt a round pass dangerously close to my neck.

“Commander, there are more of them!”

I leaned and took a quick peek around the rock. I felt my blood run cold as I saw there were two more things accompanying the first. I ducked back around the rock as the thing shifted its aim towards my face. A burst of fire from my left halted the stream of bullets, and I risked another glance to see all three heads of the pony-things had turned towards where White Cloud had levitated his rifle above cover and was blind-firing at them. I reached behind me and pulled a grenade out of a slot in my armor. It was a simple design, just a round cylinder with a pin and a handle. A pony would grab it in their mouth, pull the pin with their tongue, and jerk their head, letting the grenade fly. Pulling the pin, I did just that, ducking behind the rock as I counted the seconds off in my head.

3…

2…

1…

KRA-KOOM!

I blinked as for the second time in 10 minutes, fiery shrapnel rained down around me, scorching small patches of the earth. I took another peek over the rock and saw a small crater where the pony thing had stood. The other two things, I noticed, were much smaller. The first was huge, standing at nearly twice my height. These two were a bit taller than I was, with no obvious Gatling guns mounted on their backs. Instead, they had smaller, single barreled rifles, which were now swiveling around, searching for targets.

Kicking my rifle up, I grabbed the bit and swung the barrel towards the nearest one, firing a three round burst at it. To my surprise, instead of the rounds deflecting off of a shield, they penetrated the things “head”, dropping it. With another short burst of fire, the other collapsed, a grey-green ooze seeping out of the holes that peppered it’s body.

“You alright?” I asked White Cloud, who was now checking the young mare for any wounds.

“I’m fine Commander,” he said, concentrating on his Omni-tool.

“So am I,” the mare said, standing up. “Gunnery Sergeant Sweet Breeze. Thank you for helping me.”

I nodded. “What’s the situation here? What are those things?”

Sweet Breeze shook her head. “Nopony knows, they just came out of nowhere. As for the situation, all of my squad… they’re dead. I only just barely made it out, and that was only thanks to you.”

“What about the colonists?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. My squad was never in the colony when it got hit.”

“Alright, let’s get going. You able to fight Gunny?”

“Yes ma’am!”

*** *** ***

“How far to the colony?” I asked as we cantered forward.

“Not far. Just around thi-“ Sweet Breeze stopped dead. In front of us stood a cluster of several long spires. Atop each of them-

“By the Gods,” Cloud murmured.

I swallowed. Atop each spire was a pony, or, what was left of them. All of their coats and manes had fallen out, leaving behind grey, mottled skin. I took an involuntary step back, fighting the urge to vomit.

“Are… Are those.. the colonists?”

I never got an answer, as one by one, the ponies opened their eyes. The spires slowly retracted, depositing them on the ground. They stumbled around, seemingly unused to their bodies, before simultaneously turning towards us, and charging. I whipped my rifle up and aimed at the nearest “ponies” head and fired. Three rounds pierced the things head, blowing chunks of flesh and brain matter out the back. To my horror, the thing still kept coming. I flicked the fire selector back to auto, and opened fire, spraying bullets at the small horde of zombie-ponies. The pony nearest me flinched and fell, the rounds passing through its body and impacting the pony behind it. On either side of me, White Cloud and Sweet Breeze opened fire, mowing down two more, and the two behind them.

“Behind you Commander!” Sweet Breeze yelled. I leaned forward reflexively, shifting my weight onto my forehooves. I cocked my rear legs forward, and bucked backwards as hard as I could. I fell backwards as my legs met no resistance, and at first, I thought I had missed. But a sickening crunch emanated from my rear, and I realized my hooves had passed through the dead pony. Revulsion swept through me like a tidal wave, and I thrashed about, trying to free my legs. Naturally, that didn’t work. I shuddered as I felt a cold liquid seep into the joint between my fetlock and hoof. Hopefully, it wasn’t some weird acid blood.

With a mighty yank, I managed to pull one hoof out of the thing, regaining my balance as I set it on the ground with a disgusting splotch. Picking up my rifle, I leveled it at the final zombie-pony and opened fire, obliterating its head.

With the immediate threat gone, I turned my attention to the thing still skewered on my hoof. I noticed with a certain amount of horror that what my leg was entangled in was not entrails, but wires. I paused, attempting to comprehend the implications of what I was seeing, when White Cloud came up with a knife in mouth and cut the wires away.

“What the hell are those things?” I asked, turning to Sweet Breeze.

“Don’t look at me!” She replied, waving a defensive hoof. “Those weren’t here before the Geth arrived.”

“Wait wait wait,” White Cloud interrupted, “The Geth? They haven’t been seen outside of the Everfree veil in nearly 200 years.”

“I know, I know. It’s completely insane. But it’s the only explanation that sounds even remotely plausible.”

Off in the distance, a single shot rang out, ceasing our argument.

“That wasn’t a Geth weapon,” Sweet Breeze said.

“Do you think it was Servius?”

“It’s possible. Only one way to find out though. Let’s go.”

*** *** ***

“What do you think happened?”

Cloud shrugged, “Judging by his wound, this was-“ Cloud was cut off by a shuffling noise behind a pile of crates. Automatically, the three of us swiveled our rifles in the direction of the noise, centering on a ponies head as it popped over the crates.

“Don’t shoot! Please! I’m a pony!”

I sighed and placed my rifle on my back, letting the magnetic clamps engage and secure it to my armor. All around us were shipping crates, which normally was a tactical nightmare, but I had since learned that those zombie ponies and the Geth weren't fans of agile tactics, if you were there, they'd shoot you.

“What are you doing back there?”

“I… I was hiding. These things just came out of nowhere and started killing everybody. Then that griffin killed that one there.”

“Griffin? What?”

“There was another griffin here, he showed up with those… things. The dead one called him Apache. I think they were friends.”

Cloud cut in, “how do you know that?”

“Well.. the dead one seemed to relax. Let his guard down. Then the other griffin shot him in the back of the head.”

I sighed, this whole mission was FUBAR, and I was going to be at the center of it. “Where did Apache go from there?”

The pony jerked a hoof to the side, where a cargo train was just returning. “He took that train to the docks. It’s where the beacon is.”

My eyes widened, “he must be after the beacon. Come on everypony, we need to move, and now.”

With that, we dashed onto the cargo train and I mashed the start button with my hoof. With a slight electrical buzz, the train started gliding down the rail, slowly picking up speed.

“So what are we going to do when we get there?” Sweet Breeze asked, taking the moments respite to sit down.

“Well, capturing Apache would be our best option, though I get the feeling he’s long gone, or he’s not going to let us capture him.” I reached up with my hoof and keyed my communicator. “Normanedy, this is Commander Streak.”

“Gotcha loud and clear Commander, what’s your situation?”

“We’re on a cargo train on our way to the docks. It’s where they’re had the beacon.”

“And Servius?”

“Dead. KIA. According to a civilian, another griffin named Apache shot him.”

“Apache Greybeak?”

“Could be, sir. I didn’t catch a last name. You know him?”

“Yeah. He was assigned to a mission I was on a few years ago. Be careful around him Commander, he’s dangerous.”

“Roger that. Streak out.”

I stood up as the air brakes slowly opened, slowing the train. Just up ahead, the platform came into few, upon which were several pony-like shapes. Only these shapes had no faces, just a glowing light.

“Geth!” I yelled, and ducked behind cover.

*** *** ***

I stumbled forward as my vision blurred. During the firefight a stray round had hit my helmet. Not enough to pierce it, but enough to momentarily knock me unconscious and give me a mild concussion.

“You alright ma’am?” Sweet Breeze asked, holding out a hoof to steady me.

“I’m fine, lets just get this beacon and get out of here.”

We turned and walked down a ramp, at the bottom of which was the dock, and a tall, thin metal spire.
“That’s it Commander.”

I reached up and keyed my communicator again, “Normanedy, this is Streak. We’ve got the beacon, request evac.”

Behind me, I was vaguely aware of White Cloud marveling over the technology, while Joker responded with a short “Aye ma’am.”

“Weird. It wasn’t doing that earlier.” I glanced over to see Sweet Breeze standing in front of the beacon, which was now giving off a faint green glow. Suddenly, it gave off a strong pulse, radiating a bright light that seemed to envelope Sweet Breeze. The glow intensified, and Sweet Breeze dropped to her haunches, groaning as she pressed both hooves to her helmet. Alarmed, I ran forward and bucked her to the side, moving her out of harm’s way.

Vaguely, I was aware of the fact that I was being lifted off the ground, before a thousand images exploded in my mind, flooding every nerve ending, every synapse, filling my mind and body with an infinite amount of information. I knew I must have been screaming, I was in too much agony to not be, but I couldn’t feel any of it. The only thing I knew was what the beacon was telling me. It completely obliterated all sensory data, it completely obliterated me.

And then, it was over, and everything went black.
---
Level up! Your shields have increased, so they can take more damage before failing.
New Ability! Adrenaline Rush: Your armor injects a small, but potent dose of adrenaline into your bloodstream, giving you heightened senses and reaction time for a short period.