Agents of F.R.I.E.N.D.

by PeppyJoe

1. Security Through Obscurity

"Enough!" Golden Stud slammed his hoof on the table, hushing the ponies present and drawing their attention to himself. He held his solemn gaze as he looked from face to face, frowning at each in turn. Stud was getting on in years, but he was respectable enough in both stature and status that most everyone had the good sense to look cowed.

"This gets us nowhere," he began after a weary sigh. "Bickering over trivialities and resorting to assaults on character... Gentleponies, you are forgetting yourselves."

The blue-coated stallion across from him scowled. "Mister Stud, I respect your position and the valuable insight that your many years of experience offer-"

"But," the mare next to him cut in, "the simple fact is that the Princesses have afforded us opportunity to do little else." The stallion nodded in affirmation, and several other ponies around the table indicated similar agreement.

"It is not for us to whine and moan about the Princesses' decisions," Golden Stud countered. He leaned forward and rested both forehooves on the table, spreading them out disarmingly. "They oversee the affairs of this nation, and as foalish-" Several ponies nickered at his use of the word. Most just nodded along or smirked lightly "-as foalish as their actions may seem, we cannot afford to blatantly ignore them."

The stallion opposite him, Sea Breeze, smiled in a manner that could almost be mistaken as amiable. "Nopony is suggesting any such thing, honorable sir. Quite the opposite, in fact. I believe..." He nodded toward the mare next to him. "I believe that Desert here simply means Princess Celestia's most recent position was one of, ah... minimalism."

Desert Breeze dipped her head. "Precisely. It has been evident for some time now that Equestria faces threats beyond common understanding. Thus far, our Princess has elected to combat these dangers with a sextet of fillies." Word choice notwithstanding, everypony looked immediately more serious. "I know that this has concerned us all, lately—concerned all of Equestria." She paused, building tension with practiced ease. "Our daily survival hinges on the whim and wellbeing of six mares barely out of schooling."

"Ah, dear," her husband began.

"Oh, that's right. Half those fillies didn't even regularly attend any form of school, and only one of those that did, did so in a respectable city," Desert finished. Her words wrought the desired effect—not a pony present could hide the doubt on their face. Not even Golden Stud.

A lengthy silence settled over the room; the Breezes had made their point, and their only true opposition had no grounds on which to oppose. Finally, Golden issued a slight nod. "What, then, do you propose?"

"You spoke truly, Sir, when you said that we mustn't ignore the Princess's ruling. She is absolute, and naturally she knows best. However..." Desert leaned forward and folded her hooves together, her grin becoming predatory. "That is not to say we cannot interpret them to better suit Equestria's needs. After all, that is our function. We must see the nation safe from all dangers, and it is ever more evident that those dangers are legion."

Sea Breeze shifted in his chair and withdrew a large rolled-up parchment from his saddlebags. He set it on the table, unfurled it, and turned it for everypony to see. Gesturing to it, he said, "As I'm sure you now recognize, we—as things currently stand—are unsafe. Our military is woefully unprepared for the unorthodox threats that constantly imperil us, and we cannot rely solely on the Elements and their bearers to defend us in times of need. What we require is a carefully trained, select group of ponies to anticipate and counter the more unusual threats we face."

"These ponies," his wife picked up, "would be the best and brightest of our era. Experts in arcane sciences and earth-pony ingenuity. Combatants, navigators, fliers, and tacticians; All working independent of Celestia's oversight, towards the common goal of defending our people."

A pony nearer the end of the table spoke up. "Lady Breeze, how can you possibly believe this a wise idea? This flies in the face of Equestria's most fundamental ideals. Celestia would never allow it, and I cannot support it."

"Please do not mistake our proposition for one rooted in deceit, but it is true that we will not be wholly open with this venture, should it go forward. Naturally, it would take a backseat to Harmony and friendship, and we would by no means interfere with Celestia's designs. Of course, if we formed this group in secret..."

Desert Breeze paused, glancing to Sea. "If this new division were chartered without public knowledge—even without Celestia's knowledge—it could accomplish infinitely more. Unhindered by the press yammering for answers about their latest indiscretion-" this earned some nods, "and free to work without our paper-pushing underlings trying to assert their initiative through constant oversight."

"It would herald a new age of national security, and one terribly overdue. We would no longer rely on country mares with archaic power to protect our families. Finally, Equestria can be safe in the knowledge that these new and incomprehensible dangers are being handled by professionals!" With the final word, she stomped her hoof down in emphasis, and nearly every noble at the table began applauding. Desert caught Sea's eye and allowed a small smile to grace her lips.

~ ~ ~

Six months later...
Wind tore at his tattered flight suit as the pegasus went into a steep dive, chancing only a brief backwards glance at his assailant. Then he turned his focus ahead, surveying the landscape. Rolling green hills approached at breakneck speeds, with a large cluster of rural buildings in one direction. A light caught his eye and he turned his head to face it.

Instantly his dive became an uncontrolled tumble as the light blinded him. He cursed himself for not being more careful as he swiped at his eyes with a hoof, trying to drive away the stars. Finally regaining his sight, he locked his wings, pulled up hard, and went screaming both literally and figuratively towards the town. He raised his hoof again and swiped at a green gem worn around his neck. "Mini! Mini!"

A mare's voice filled his head, unhampered by the wind in his ears. Soarin? Shouldn't you be back at the Triangle by now?

"Plan's shot! I got turned around and I'm headed for Ponyville! Damn shiny castle nearly got me killed!"

Soarin, you need to lead it to the Triangle or-

"Mini, I said it's not happening!" After risking another glance back, "I'm losing my lead; there's no way I'll make it that far!"

Understood. Keep it airborne as long as you can, then. We're on our way.

Soarin twisted, bringing his right wing up and veering left to draw It away from Ponyville. He hollered at the top of his lungs, doing his best to keep Its focus. Two minutes, the voice in his head promised him, and then a giant rending noise and a number of screams made him nearly turn in place.

Coming to a halt and hovering, he saw the Ponyville town hall collapsing. Not the entire thing, but rather as though the top was torn aside by an unseen force. Ponies at the foot of the building scattered. Soarin saw a lone pegasus mare flying at top speed and glancing back. Groaning with frustration and a bit of exhaustion, he sped in that direction.

"Help me!" the mare cried out as Soarin came up alongside her. A backwards glance showed nothing out of the ordinary.

"Right," he said. "I'm sorry." The terrified mare barely had a chance to look bewildered before Soarin twisted around and kicked out at her, knocking her out of the air. At the same time, he bellowed as loud as he could. After seeing the mare stabilize several dozen ponylengths below, he glanced back again.

It was there.

We're passing over Friendship now. You were right, that thing's a menace. And- Ah, is that the top of town hall that everyone's crowded around?

"Things went sideways, alright?! I'm headed your way. Tell Fancy to bring 'er about and Turner to get the flare ready!"

No response came, so Soarin took it as a sign to go ahead. He looked down and went into another steep dive, waiting only a moment before flaring his wings and stopping abruptly. It shot below him, letting out an ear-piercing shriek as it started to spin around and follow him.

Pouring on speed, Soarin kept his gaze high and his eyes squinted as he approached Friendship Castle. He began to ascend too, only slowing once to see that It was still close behind.

Turner's ready when you are, Soarin. He's gonna need you to sight it.

"If you go visible, I'll bring It under!"

A moment of silence, and then a shrill sound washed over him. It was quiet, to be sure, and very high-pitched, but his ears picked up on it. At the same moment, a vast pocket of air to his left shimmered and suddenly became an airship. It was only for a moment, and then the area returned to normal.

Still, Soarin now had what he needed. He veered left, losing precious distance from It as he did so. He raced under where he knew the craft to be, glanced back, and shouted "Now!"

A brilliant yellow light struck out from the invisible vessel, washing over Soarin and the surrounding area and striking It dead on. The vast creature screeched and twisted in the air. Then it vanished from sight entirely.

Another deafening silence began, and not even the mare in his head or the birds passing nearby seemed willing to interrupt. Soarin had come to a stop and now hung in the air, waiting. The moment ended when a terrible thud came from far below. Turning in the direction of the sound, he saw a huge swathe of ground being actively torn up and scattered, heading toward the glistening castle and not showing signs of slowing down.

Soarin winced. Whoops..., Mini added. A CRACK! tore through the air as the gash in the dirt reached the castle and knocked a chunk out of the wall. Another moment passed, and then It suddenly flickered and appeared in the focal point of the damage.

Covered in upturned dirt and scattered crystal shards, a worm-like creature the height of a house and the length of twenty lay crumpled against the side of the castle. A massive scorch mark marred its midsection. The tail twitched periodically, but it showed no other signs of life.

"We got it... I think I might go visit town before coming aboard. I'd rather skip the 'security through obscurity' lecture, and this mess'll definitely warrant one."

Oh, you know Knight isn't that fussy. This was a huge win and she knows it. Besides, there was no way to keep it from crashing once we killed it—hitting the castle was just poor luck.

Soarin grinned at that, turning around to approach the airship. "I suppose you're right, Minuette. And it's not every day I get to say I was chased by a colossal flying mythical worm-monster that can only be seen by its victim."

Soarin, you could be a bit more subtle with the exposition.

"Huh?"

Nothing. Knight says to get your feathers on deck now.

Comments

[ResidentZeldaBau5z]

I'm just going to leave this here.