Tales of Old Equestria: 1st Saga

by Pending Storm

Chapter 1: Calm Before the Pending Storm

Equestria, a land of harmony and beauty, has known peace and friendship for centuries. Ponies of all sorts can live without fear or hardship. However, this was not always the case.

A thousand years ago, the land was plunged into chaos by a mad spirit. An entire empire disappeared without a trace. Eternal darkness was only narrowly avoided by the banishment of one of the rulers of the land to the moon.

In this time of chaos, of an inexperienced and weakened crown, many shadowy threats had the chance to raise their heads towards the light to prey on the weak, or even pursue more dreadful ambitions.

Times of trouble, however, are the flames that forge heroes. Ponies rose to protect princess and country, some answering the call by their own choice, others forced to do so by circumstance. This is the tale of of some of those unsung heroes, without whom, Equestria would have become a very different, and darker, place…

Chapter 1: Calm Before the Pending Storm

In a house made of clouds, a pegasus slept upon a cloud bed. Her pink mane covered her eyes, shielding them from the bright daylight that shone through her window. While other pegasi busied themselves with work or school, this little green pony continued to sleep. Her neighbors had long ago given up on trying to wake her. After hours of sunlight, however, the light of day was finally beginning to rouse her, slowly but surely.

A claw gripped the foot of the bed, followed momentarily by another. A mound of hairy flesh pulled itself up onto the bed. In her unconscious state, the pony was unable to sense the creature slowly stalking towards her. It crawled across the bed, staring at the sleeping pegasus with dull, black eyes. It reared onto its hind legs, raised its long, pointed claws, and pounced upon the helpless pony.

The pegasus screamed, instantly awake. She spun around, throwing the creature off of her.

“Ugh, dang it, Slowpoke! There are other ways to wake me, you know!” Pending Storm snapped.

Slowpoke, a sloth from a distant land, slowly rolled over. Pending had treasured the reliable pet since purchasing him from a traveling salespony years before. His daily duty complete, the sloth simply stared at Pending.

Pending Storm reluctantly got up and rubbed her eyes. She yawned, stretching like a cat. Blinking her eyes against the bright sunlight shining on her light green coat, she turned to her pet.

Slowpoke just stared back, his empty eyes never showing any sign of emotion. They never did, nor did the rest of his face. Even Pending had to admit it was a bit creepy sometimes.

“...Next time, just tap me on the shoulder, would yah? You nearly gave me a heart attack,” said Pending Storm.

Slowpoke looked at her as if he was listening, but then began to lose balance. The sloth suddenly toppled over, asleep before it hit the bed. Waking up his owner had come at the cost of much of the sloth’s energy, which would be regained from his own slumber.

Pending Storm proceeded to her kitchen to get some breakfast, taking care not to step on any of the assorted clutter that littered the floor of her room. She opened her pantry, searching for something to eat. Nothing. She opened up the cupboards. Nothing. She reached deep into her cupboards to feel out any food hiding from sight. Nothing. She opened up all the drawers. Only the bitter leaves that Slowpoke seemed to love.

"Hm... I don't feel like eating sloth food. Again,” she muttered. There was no one else to blame, though. She was the one who put off the grocery shopping. Again.

Pending got her bag and headed for the door. “I’ll be back, Slowpoke. Gotta get some foods,” she said, but the sloth was still asleep. “Oh, and we need to get that cloudwalking spell cast on you soon, just so you don’t, you know, die.”

Cloudsdale, the cloud city of the pegasi, was a very safe place to live, so long as you were a pegasus. Pending had forgotten that non-pegasi couldn’t walk on clouds when she had bought Slowpoke, but fortunately, a unicorn in Groundsdale, the village below Cloudsdale, knew a spell to walk on clouds, even if it only lasted a few weeks at a time. The unicorn’s fee wasn’t cheap, but it was worth it to keep Slowpoke in her house with her.

Pending trotted to the market district, her eyes glancing over the various stalls with pegasi shouting about their wares. Brightly colored fabrics, foods, and other various goods all competed for her attention. But the little green pegasus was looking for one vendor in particular, a friend of hers that she could always get a good price from.

Finally, she spotted it, a small stall hovering by the edge of the next cloud over. A spinning rotor kept it airborne, occasionally belching a puff of steam. Roswell Rivet, the stall’s owner and inventor, had built it to sell his various gizmos and gadgets in Cloudsdale. When few ponies proved to be interested, he had turned to selling general goods, hoping that the charm of a flying store would be enough to stand out from the other local vendors.

Storm landed on the cloud, and walked over to the stall. Roswell was sitting in his stall, easily recognized by his trademark red trench coat. He had orange fur, and a brown and yellow mane. Above him was a sign that read 'Roswell Rations' in a stylish dark red font. He seemed quite bored as he leaned his head against his hoof. He looked up as he saw her walking over. “Pending!” he said, raising his hoof to greet her.

“Roswell!” she replied, raising her hoof as well.

“I must say, it's quite unusual to see you awake this early in the afternoon,” said Roswell.

“Yeah, well, Slowpoke woke me up me earlier than usual,” she said, with a yawn.

“Ah, I see. And then you came to visit your good friend, Roswell?” He said with a grin.

“Actually, I came here because I’m out of food.” Roswell’s face fell. Pending smiled sheepishly; “...And to visit my good friend, Roswell, of course.” He lit up with a smile. “But mostly for food,” she said, causing his face to fall again. Pending Storm couldn't help but giggle; “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

Roswell frowned. “Hmph. So what would you like to buy, customer?” He replied, jokingly.

“Hmm... Can’t buy anything fancy; I’m low on bits right now.”

“Pending, you say that almost every time you shop here,” said Roswell. “I even give you a small discount. It's almost as if you're spending most of your money at other vendors...” He eyed her suspiciously.

“Naaah,” she said, giving him a dismissive wave of her hoof. “I just don’t get paid very often, plus I have to pay every few weeks to keep Slowpoke in Cloudsdale.”

“Well, you know I mean no offense, but maybe, perhaps, possibly, you’d have more bits if you weren’t so lazy."

Pending looked upwards, pondering with her hoof on her chin. “You may have a point there, Roswell... Nah, I'll stick to being lazy.” She got four bits out from her bag. “So what foods can I get with this?”

Roswell Rivet took a moment to think. “Do you like hay?”

She gave him a deadpan look. “I’m a pony; what do you think?”

“Er, right,” he said, realizing it was an obvious question. “I have some delicious, fantastic, small bundles of hay. For the measly price of four bits, I can give you four bundles!”

She smiled. “Great, I’ll take five!”

“Wait, what? You must have misheard me; I actually said four.”

“Oh, I know, I’m correcting you.”

“But Pending, you can only afford four.”

“Yeah, but I want five.”

“But Pending!” Roswell complained. “I cannot just give you free food! I need bits too, yah know?”

Pending Storm frowned. “Fine! And all this time I thought you were a true, true friend. I suppose I was wrong.” She shook her head, feigning disappointment.

Roswell sighed. “Alright, alright, here yah go.” He sets the five bundles of hay on the stall counter.

She grinned, set her four bits on the counter, and grabbed the hay bundles. “Thanks buddy! You really are a true, true friend!”

“Yeah, no problem, buddy,” Roswell said, clearly not satisfied with his payment.

He shook it off, and brightened up. “By the way, Pending, I recently wrote a new play! I know none of the theater’s picked up the last few, but I think this could be the one. I was wondering if you would edit it for me.”

“Um, sure, maybe later,” she replied. “Though I don’t really know much about writing… Anyways, see yah later, Roswell!”

"Till next time, my little green friend!"

She turned around and began walking towards her house, already chowing down on the hay she had just purchased.

---

Somewhere else in the sky, a tall, mighty pegasus stood on a cloud. Her dark grey mane and tail blew in the breeze; light shone upon her gold and ebony armor. Had she been wearing her helmet, her entire body would have been covered in armor, concealing her white coat.

She looked off into the distance, concentrating and waiting. After a while, a pegasus wearing a similar set of gold and ebony armor walked up behind her. His coat was purple, and his mane and tail were white. He also had a small beard.

“Commander Sky Fury,” he said in a gruff voice. “Everyone is ready.”

There was a moment of silence. “Excellent, Captain Inclement,” she replied, still looking off into the distance. “Make sure we remain concealed in the Shroud.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, and then flew off.

The commander closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After a moment, she exhaled, opening her eyes. “Soon, the Sky Tribe shall strike, and everything will change.”

To be continued. . .

Author's Note:

Update 12/23/14: Commander Sky Fury's coat is changed from grey to white.
Update 4/19/17: major revision of the entire chapter.

Credit to Yoichi Hayabusa for the cover art. Check out his page on DeviantArt.
Credit to Drazex and M1_A4_Abrams for editing, they really helped a lot.
Credit to Yoichi Hayabusa for creating my OC, Pending Storm.
Credit to Tesseradical17 for his OC, Roswell Rivet.
And credit to them all for being true, true friends.

In my blog, I will be discussing some 'behind the scenes' stuff for Chapter 1, as well as show pictures of some of the characters that appear. I'll be doing that for each chapter in the series. If you're interested, feel free to check it out.

Comments

[M1_A4_Abrams]

It's your first fic, so have a comment.

[That Other Writing Guy]

Ooo I always love story that comes before the main story. Keep it up dear. I want to read more.

[Pending Storm]

5414964 Thank you.

[That Other Writing Guy]

5414976 Welcome! I am writer as well so I know it always fun to hear some good words about a story.

[Anonymous Assassin]

This is a nice beginning, Pending. The story definitely has the potential to be great, all depending on where you take it from here. Imagination is the limit. Good luck!

[Yoichi_Hayabusa]

Good now dont let the sloth win this time MMK?! Just kidding just keep doing what you are doing bud!

[Tesseradical17]

What a great start! I really like the opening, it sets up the time, place, and universe without getting lengthy or referencing the Mane 6. I admit I had to laugh when you included some of our banter in the scene with Roswell, that was a nice touch.

Now for criticism.

The descriptions of the characters' appearances seem a little forced, and the "soon we shall strike" moment at the end was pretty cliché. Gee, I wonder who the bad guys are? The guys hiding in the background, rubbing their hands and laughing with a nefarious look on their faces? Pff! Naaaah! It's gotta be the sloth.

O_____O Plot twist: The sloth did it.

The wording can be stilted at times. Examples: "What foods can I get with this?", "snack-sized stacks", "closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then exhaled and opened her eyes." It could be relaxed some more. I like the brief explanations for the characters, but it could be interpreted as telling, not showing. Perhaps it's just a style choice, but saying outright that this guy's coat was purple, his mane and tail were white, and he had a beard, or that this other guy is friends with this chick and his dream is to be this; it can sound like a list. And even though it's quick and to the point, if you described a room full of strangers that way it can be easy to confuse them. Maybe this can help: http://tinyurl.com/25pfzcj

Overall though I think this a good first step. I'm really looking forward to seeing where this story goes. Especially since, ya know, I'm in it and I don't want you to make me look FREAKIN STUPID.

lol, you did a fine job, ol' chap.

[Pending Storm]

5440060 "What foods can I get with this" was intentional; that's how she talks sometimes.