Dissonance

by Harmony Muse

Binge and Purge

“Well, you’re alive now, so I’m guessing you slowed your descent on the way down?.” Lizzybell queried.

“You betcha she did. Hey Harm, you mind if I pick up the story from here, sis?” - was the reply that came from Sketch Tumble

“Have at it, you were there for most of the rest.” Harmony bumped her head against Sketch’s mane as a sign of affection.

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“Okay, so it was like this. I was at Muse’s concert, front row even. She’s my bestie, and it was her night, ya know? Well, she left after Captain Plothole had his little breakdown and I went after ‘em. Took my time because I didn’t want to break in on any family crap, Harmony still being very shy at the time and all.

“Anyway, when I showed up at their place, I found the door standing open, and the inside of the house smelled of hard cider. I went right in, fearing the worst. Then I found the clippers and fur all over the floor. Even a bit of blood where the walking road apple got a bit too overzealous with the clippers.

“So yeah, I was pissed off. I’d probably be in jail for trying to hurt someone had he stayed around. It took me a while to notice though, that not only wasn’t her father there, but Musey wasn’t there either. I tossed her room, but she wasn’t there either, house was totally deserted. I was in a panic, sure, but I noticed when I came down stairs that there was a trail of loose fur leading out the front door.

“In a way, you’re damn lucky he was as sloppy with those clippers as he was, Harm. Were it not for the tufts of navy blue you were leavin behind you, I’d have had no way to track your dumb plot. Anywho, I followed the trail as fast as I could, and had a damn good idea what you were aiming to do when I saw the TransEquestria Tower in the distance.“ Sketch paused for dramatic effect, grinning internally as she saw all eyes in the room were on her.

“Thinking fast, I teleported to the top of the Tower, just in time to see you leap off. I screamed for you to stop, but you didn’t hear me, either that or you didn’t want to. This pissed me off more than what your dad pulled. I mean, here you were about to kill my only friend in the world? Screw that!

“Now, I’ve never really been that great at magic, even for bein’ a unicorn, but this was life or death. So I took a deep breath and cast what is, to date, the strongest spell I ever cast. I got a hold of you as you were taking that plunge, and teeked you back up on the roof, slapping you across the muzzle as soon as the spell wore off.” Sketch rubbed the back of her head as she mentioned the violence she perpetrated on her friend, embarrassed that she had to resort to it in the first place.

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“Buh, Sketch?” Anthem said, lookin’ all sorts of delirious. Sketch slapped the Pegasus again to try and bring back some sense.

“What in bucking Tartarus do you think you were DOING, Anthem!” Sketch’s hooves stamped in anger. She raised her hoof to slap Anthem again until she looked down at the broken pony. Then she realized she was used to seeing the same bucked up thousand yard stare in the mirror every morning.

“I…” Anthem sighed in resignation. “I’m sorry. I’m just a failure. I just wanted to make it so I didn’t disappoint anybody anymore. I thought he’d be proud of me but even in getting my cutie mark, but it’s not good enough.” The shorn pony blurted between heaving sobs. Sketch felt like complete smooze, seeing their best friend that miserable and just pulled Anthem close. She then let Anthem cry on her shoulder, secretly hoping her own tears weren’t seen.

“Anthem, little muse, it’s going to be okay. Bastards like him aren’t worth killing yourself over. You’ve got to learn to live for yourself! Be your own pony! And please...don’t try this again. If I couldn’t have rescued ya, I...” Sketch trailed off, afraid of what response her words would bring.

Anthem looked up at the purple Unicorn, forgetting about his own sadness for a moment. “You’d what?”

Sketch met his gaze with as much seriousness as they could muster. “I’d have leapt after you. I don’t have any friends, Anthem. There’s nobody I trust as completely as you.” The ponies’ resolve wavered, and they broke eye contact, “I’ve thought of doing just what you’ve done so many times I’ve lost count. Just you being there helps me forget about it sometimes.” Sketch looked down, afraid of how Anthem would react.

“I - I thank you, Sketch. That means a lot.” Anthem relaxed a bit. The danger was over for now. After a few minutes the young Pegasus opened his eyes. A creeping blush washed over their face. “Uhh, should two colts like us be cuddling out in the open like this?”

Sketch had a cathartic belly laugh. “Ha! there’s a couple of things wrong with that statement, Anthem. First: we’re not cuddling, just comforting each other. Second. I’m, uh, I’m not precisely a colt.” The unicorn didn’t miss it when Anthem simply shrugged.

“Sooo… mare?” Anthem cocked her head to the side.

“Nope. I dont’ know really. I know in my heart i’m not male, and callin’ myself a mare, while closer, just don’t seem right. I guess this sounds kinda weird, but maybe I’m something else?” Sketch breathed a sigh of relief. The pony had wanted to get that out for years.

“Oh. That makes sense. It makes no difference to me, you’re still my BFF.” With a brohoof, everything was cool.

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“Anywho, to fast forward a bit; your mom found the mess he’d left and gave him the chewing out of a lifetime. He wasn’t happy about it, but your pa gave in, and let you grow out that wicked coat of yours as well. Surprised the scat right out of me when I’d found out she even managed get him to pay for you to go to the Baltimare Academy of the Arts. That’s where I was going to go for my art studies.

“You were there for me the whole time, being supportive while I transitioned. You stuck up for me when creeps tried to get fresh or start trouble, and I’m all the more grateful for it. You were even there when I came out to my parents. They still think we’re dating, you know.” Lizzybell snickered, drawing a blushing half-glare from Harmony. “I’m beyond grateful you were there for me, because I just didn’t have the strength to do it myself. I don’t like admitting I’m not strong enough to stand up for myself, but that’s what friends are for, isn’t it?” Sketch shrugged.

“Speaking of strength, do you remember one of the times you were helping me get into an altogether too tight corset?” Muse nodded. “It was Nightmare Night and you told me that you secretly wondered what it would have been like to be born a mare. In that instant, I was struck with inspiration. I had you put on one of my looser dresses, even cutting wingholes in it for you. Then I went to work on your face. A little blush here, some mascara there, some lipstick, and I was gazing at a beautiful filly. I was proud of you. You had the strength to take that first step.”

“Once everything was done, you looked up at me with pained uncertainty,” Sketch gave a warm smile.

“You asked me, ‘How do I look?’ almost hopefully. With a big grin I floated my mirror in front of your face. You should have seen yourself! That was the first time in my life I ever saw you really smile, not one of those pained smiles you did when you felt dead inside, but a real happy smile.

“It didn’t last long though. After a few seconds you started bawling. I sighed to see the makeup I’d spent all that time on getting smeared, but those few seconds of joy on your face we worth it.
‘I can’t believe it...I’m pretty. I’m really pretty.’ At least I think that’s what you were saying.” Muse blushed furiously while the other ponies giggled. Grumpy on the other hand just rolled his eyes.

“I’m only really good at deciphering my own sobspeak. I sat there holding you while you cried. Happy I could be strong for you for once. Once you finally got all the tears out, you gave me another smile. Sad yes, but still a real smile. I knew at that moment I didn’t really have a brony, but a pegasister.”

“Of course, you were still afraid to go full time with it. Given your plothole of a dad, I can’t blame ya. Still, I helped you build up a nice stash of things. You know, makeup, girly clothing, accessories, that kind of thing. I really felt like a big sibling, helping you come out of your shell like that.” She nuzzled Muse’s neck for a moment and leaned against her close friend.

“For 4 years it was like that. During the day, “Anthem” and I would do the study and schoolwork thing, and during the night, it was Sketch and ‘Harmony’ partying our flanks off. It was real fun, wasn’t it?” Harmony could only nod. “All good things end. Hardest thing about it though, was when it all came to a screechin’ halt.

“News came down that you were going to be named Valedictorian of our graduating class, can you imagine that?” Sketch looked up to the degree on Harmony’s wall. “Heh, guess so. I even heard you tell me your old man said he was proud of you. I damn near dropped a chocolate muffin when you’d told me that.”

“I’d have been happy for you, but when I’d come to congratulate you about it, you were tearing your dorm room apart. Every last thing we’d bought for you, every last hint of the real you, of my sis Harmony, you were tossing into a trash can. Last time I saw you that frantic was from the top of the TransEquestria Tower.” Harmony flinched as the memories of that horrible day came back to her.
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“Whoa!! Hold on, Harm.” Sketch said, holding their hooves up in surrender. “What’s got into you?”

Harmony openly wept as she surveyed the sum collection of everything that made her a mare, everything that made her feel good about herself. She’d just spent the last three hours tossing every last bottle of lip gloss, every earring, everything into the trash can. Completely oblivious to everything else, she stood there holding a lit match in her mouth.

Sketch was aghast. Without thinking she telekinetically yanked the can away. “Don’t do this, pegasister! I don’t know what’s possessed you, but we can talk about this. It’s gonna be alright.”

The Pegasus whirled into a crouch, primal fear on her face “No it’s not, Sketch! Don’t stop me, please. I need to do this.”

“Like hay you do!” Sketch quickly placed themself between the precious cargo and her friend “This is who you are! You’re Harmony Muse!”

Harmony kept frantically trying to get around her best friend. “You don’t get it, do you? I’m Valedictorian! I’m supposed to give a speech in front of the whole graduating class, and all of our parents!”

Sketch’s eyes widened in realization. “You don’t mean?”

“He’s coming.”

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“I’m so sorry. That sounds like it must have been horrible” Fluttershy said, cringing from her curled up position on the couch. “I’m sorry, this hits a little close to home for me..”

“Flutters” Harmony said, putting a shaky hoof on the yellow mare’s withers. “I lived through it, and believe me, the worst’s yet to come.

Author's Note:

It's that time again folks, now before some of you get upset at potential misgenderings here, I feel the need for some explanation.

Much of this story is in flashback mode, at a time when the important players both operated under the belief Harmony was male. hence the 'he' and 'him'. Do notice that once Harmony starts using that name, and in the asides, "she" is used. For Sketch? She and They are used interchangeably because of the nature of the character, and at the request of the person the character is based on (Keep being awesome, sis.)

I'm finding, the more I write, the more skilled I feel at it. However, in the writing I also catch more of my mistakes and sloppy writing. As always, I have Lizzybell to thank for being an amazing editor

Hope you all enjoy this chapter, next one should be written in under a week.

Comments

[Voldine]

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My favorite argument against bible thumpers is that no kind and loving god would dare to put the mind of a woman in the body of a man (or vice versa) and then tell them it was a sin to want their body to feel right. Therefore a kind and loving god does not exist. Since I am still here and alive after stating that, an angry and vengeful god doesn't exist either. Therefore the only god that can still logically exist is a trickster, and I'm not praying to the one that gave me a prick for shits and giggles.

Tracking this.