Ghost of a Chance!

by eLLen

All Shall Pass

“Well, any ideas on what ta do, Rares?”

The literally ghostly-white unicorn turned to regard her friend, keeping up her floating pace down the street. It was a warm, sunny day, not that it really could make a difference to their shady forms, but was pleasant nonetheless. Taking a glance at the lively townsfolk that they so contrasted around them, Rarity said, “It is a rather splendid day out today. The Princess really outdid herself, if I may so. It would be a shame to just let it go to waste.” She put a hoof to her chin and narrowed her eyes in thought, “I’m not too sure what to do. I don’t usually get days off like this.”

“Same here. Last time Ah got a break Ah just went and slept the day away.”

Rarity went silent for a moment as she went back to her thoughts. Then she suddenly sang, raising a hoof into the air triumphantly, “Idea! Why don’t we go see our sisters? They should still be in school at this time or at least be almost done.”

“Sounds like as good an idea as any,” Applejack agreed.

A brief trip later and an “Ah can fly!” found them at the entrance to the small schoolhouse. They entered and were immediately greeted with the punctuated lecture of Miss Cheerilee. She seemed to be going on about a typical history lesson as the class pretended and failed at pretending to pay attention.

“There’s Sweetie and her friends,” Rarity said as she pointed out a triplet of ponies, “Applebloom and Scooterloo are next to her over there.” To her credit, Sweetie looked to be trying to be attentive.

“You mean Scootaloo,” Applejack corrected.

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

“Nope, you said it with an ‘er’ sound.”

Rarity looked at her companion, narrowing her eyes, “That is her name, though.”

Applejack simply shook her head. “Nope. It’s Scootaloo.”

“Mm… I assume you first heard about her from your sister, correct?”

“Yeah, but what’s that got ta do with anythin’?

“Well, darling…” the unicorn started, “I’m just saying you may have misunderstood when she told you about her friend. Your family does have their… dialect, after all.”

The farmer glared at her. “What are ya’ll sayin’? We speak just as fine as everypony else.”

“Dear,” Rarity said, thoroughly amused, “The Apple family accent is famous from here Manehattan.”

“Accent? We don’t got no accent!” she defended, narrowing her gaze.

Rarity just looked away. Sometimes there would be no reasoning with this mare, so she let it drop. “If you say so. Oh, look,” she deflected, “I think they’re being released now.”

Sure enough, the dismissal had come and gone during their “talk,” and all the students were making a mad rush to the door, unknowingly racing through the two spirits, sending sudden chills to those who did. Following the mad mob of foals, the two mares soon located their sisters under a low, shady tree.

“We should go skydiving!” they heard Scootaloo/Scooterloo exclaim as they approached.

The two shared a concerned glance. “Skydiving?” Rarity repeated, “Don’t tell me she’s talking about getting her cutie mark.” Applejack shrugged helplessly before going back to their sisters’ and friend’s conversation.

“I don’t know, Scootaloo—” Sweetie rebutted.

“Told ya.”

“Quiet.”

“How would we even get to a high enough point to do that?” Sweetie continued.

“That’s her concern?!” Rarity exclaimed, putting a hoof to her forehead dramatically, “Not the danger?”

Applejack calmly reached for Rarity’s hoof and brought it back down. “Now, don’t go faintin’ on me.”

“I was far from fainting, thank you Applejack,” she replied, standing indignantly glaring.

Applebloom spoke up: “Besides, we already went bungee jumping over the gorge.”

“Ah!” Rarity cried out before toppling over and proceeding to slowly sink into the grass as her intangible form fell through.

Applejack looked down, her unamused eyes half-lidded. “Rarity, pick yourself up or so help me, Ah’ll dye your hair green. Ah’m not carryin’ ya around town.”

The unicorn’s eyes shot open, instantly darting to the disinterested gaze of the farmer. Pulling herself up, she said, “Surely you’re not okay with this? To think they’ve already gone off on this dangerous adventures!”

“Believe me, Applebloom will be getting her’s soon enough. But there’s not much we can do now, is there?”

“I suppose so…” Rarity admitted, casting an unsure gaze back her sister.

Scootaloo gasped as an idea rang out to her. “We can just get Rainbow Dash to do it! She helped us with the bungee jumping, after all.”

“Rainbow?” the mares both exclaimed.

Applejack stamped her hoof. “Twi better bring us back ta life so Ah can kill that mare!”

“I wouldn’t use so harsh a description,” Rarity said, then agreed, “But you can have her once I’m done.”

“Deal.”

As the trio of fillies ran off terrifying ideas, oblivious to the growing suspense of their sisters, Rarity looked up and around helplessly. She could hardly bear the thought of her dear sister in such horrid stunts! Then she noticed one familiar, red stallion. “Applejack?” she said, “Why ever is your brother here?”

“Huh?” Applejack looked at her friend then followed her gaze. Sure enough, the large form that made up Big Macintosh was nearing the entrance to the school house. He looked around for one moment before entering. “Ah don’t rightly know,” she said, dropping into a curious frown.

“Maybe it’s about Applebloom?” Rarity suggested.

“Ah hope not. She’s never had a problem in school.” The farmer set off back towards the schoolhouse, leaving the designer to catch up after hesitating for one more moment of ear-bound agony from three innocent fillies.

Phasing through the wall, Rarity found Applejack watching intently as the stallion greeted the teacher. “Good afternoon, Miss Cheerilee,” he said, a gentle smile across his face.

Cheerilee looked up in surprise. “Oh, hey Mac. I didn’t notice you come in. Busy with all this.” She swept her hoof across the air above her desk. “And I told you, stop calling me ‘Miss.’ You sound like one of my students.”

“Sorry, can’t help it,” he drawled, “Was how Ah was brought up. Always be polite to a lady.” Cheerilee just giggled, rolling her eyes.

“What’s goin’ on here?” Applejack asked, her eyes narrowed. She looked to Rarity, who looked halfway between shocked and ecstatic. “Rares?”

The unicorn smiled back dreamily, her gaze miles away. “Applejack, I think it would be best if we left. Give them some time, if you will.”

“What? Why?” she asked, turning back to her brother’s conversation. Whether she missed some crucial part of the conversation when talking to Rarity or just failing to pick up on something, she was utter astounded a moment later when her brother leaned in and gave the teacher a quick peck on the cheek.

Applejack recoiled instantly, a hoof raised slightly up as if ready to bolt. She blinked. “…What? …Why?”

She suddenly found herself being pulled away with the words, “That, Applejack, is precisely why. Come along.”

“But, but…” She yanked herself free of her friend’s grip. “Now, wait a darned minute! Since when did this happen?!” She gestured with a flailing limb to the couple who were much too close to each other for her taste.

“Darling, please, inside voice. You’ll wake the dead if you keep shouting like that.”

“We’re already awake!”

“Applejack, let’s—” She paused.

“What is it?” Applejack asked.

Rarity shook her head. “I could’ve sworn I just heard Pinkie complimenting me on a joke… Anyways, let’s step outside before we go any further, alright?”

The earth pony glared at her brother once more. “Hmph. Fine. But only ‘cause Ah don’t wanna see any more romance-y stuff.”

Rarity gave her a small smile before turning tale with a flip of her hair and proceeding to exit once more. Applejack grumbled, giving one last suspicious glance. “That’s two siblings that need ta have a nice, long talk with me.” The famer begrudgingly followed her friend away. Once outside, she turned to the designer. “Now would you mind tellin’ me what exactly Ah just saw?”

Rarity rolled her eyes in a rather un-ladylike manner. “That, Applejack, is the sight of two ponies in love.”

Applejack stared at her, dumbfounded, “Well, Ah know that but—”

“Incoming!”

Both mares looked up with startled expressions as a rainbow rocket hurdled down in a blur. They both jumped back instinctively as the missile shot to the ground. They cringed as their friend’s impact with the ground seemed imminent but widened their eyes as Rainbow simply flew into the ground, resurfacing from the waist up a moment later.

Rainbow blinked as she looked around, seeing her friends. “Oh, hey.”

“Uh… Rainbow? What are ya’ll doin’?” Applejack asked.

Rainbow pounced up from her spot, landing on all fours. She darted her head about, her rainbow locks flowing with the messy movements. Seemingly satisfied, she stared back at her inquisitive friend. “Princess Luna’s trying to get me and Pinkie. We’ve been going through town playing cat and mouse.”

“Princess Luna? Why is she tryin’ to get ya? Heck, how can she even see ya’ll?”

“Oh, cause she’s the reaper. She wants to put our souls to rest.”

“What? Since when?”

“Ever since she won a game of limbo with the old reaper.”

“What?”

“Yeah, she says it was an actual game of limbo. Like, when you go under a stick or something.”

Applejack stared incredulously, her mouth moving silently as words failed to describe the confusion running rampant. Rarity, however, spoke for her. “I’m just going to not question that and ask you instead: Where are Pinkie and the Princess now, then?”

Rainbow glanced her eyes around again. “Eh, somewhere around here. I kind of got knocked away. Lucky shot…” she muttered.

“Well, dear—”

The bushes erupted in a burst of green foliage and leaves. Turning to the sudden onslaught of noise, the mares beheld the sight of one pink pony scampering out of the way, light on her giddy hooves, followed by one pastry-covered princess.

“You can’t do this forever!” Luna yelled, “You will be put to—” She was cut off as a cupcake landed atop her head. “Where do you keep— …Mm, chocolate… Where do you keep getting all these? It is like you’ve stashed them all around the town!”

“I have!” Pinkie called back, looking over her shoulder.

Luna opened her mouth to answer then promptly closed it. “It will take ages to get the frosting stains out of my cloak…”

Pinkie came to a stop by her friends. “Oh, hey girls! Wanna join the party?”

“Well… ya’ll weren’t joking about Princess Luna,” Applejack commented.

“Yeah,” Rainbow said, “And you might want to take up Pinkie’s offer, fast. She’s out for all six of us.”

“Rainbow,” Rarity chided, “I’m sure there’s no need to put on these barbarities. If we talk to her I’m sure she’ll understand it was a simple misunderstanding.”

The pegasus rolled her eyes. “Good luck with that.” She floated upwards, taking Pinkie’s side. “Hey, moonbutt! How about we call a cease-fire?”

“Rainbow!” Rarity gasped, “You can’t talk to the Princess that way!”

“Hey, she’s the one swinging a scythe at us,” she shrugged.

Luna glared at her. “Never before has a soul escaped my reach. And that will not change today!”

Rainbow glanced at her friend. “Told ya.”

Rarity frowned. “Allow me to talk to her. Insulting the other party is a terrible idea in negotiation.” Stepping forward after Rainbow’s noncommittal agreement, she met the lunar Reaper’s eye. “Princess? May I ask what exactly is going on here?”

Luna regarded her, straightening her posture. She nodded. “Yes. I am bringing Rainbow’s and Pinkie’s souls to the afterlife. I suppose yours and Applejack’s as well, now that you’re here.”

“Now, now. Is that really necessary? Surely we can come back to life since this was all just a big accident.”

Luna shook her head. “In my years in this position, I’ve seen every excuse and reason there is. Death is death, no matter the cause.”

Rarity cocked her head, her eyes narrowing in disappointment. “But, surely there’s something. We’re the former elements of harmony after all.”

Luna shrugged. “Unlike my sister, I don’t play favorites. You’re all coming to the afterlife.”

Rarity frowned.

“Don’t be like that,” the Reaper said, “The afterlife is a very nice place. It’s like a pleasant dream that you never get tired of, I should know.”

“Really?” Rarity asked, more curious than willing.

“Yes. Just as long as none of you have committed great sins such as murder. Then you would go to the torture of Tartarus. But that shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

Rarity looked back at her friends. They shrugged back at her. “Um… does Nightmare Moon count?” she asked.

“Or the changelings smashed by the shield in Canterlot?” Rainbow added.

“Or Sombra back in the Crystal Empire?” Applejack piped in.

“Or us when Twilight’s spell went wrong earlier?” Pinkie threw in.

Luna looked at all of them in turn. She blinked. “…Alright… Enough discussion. Rarity, you first.” Suddenly raising her scythe, she swished it through the air, sending it straight for the unicorn standing in front of her. Rarity let out an “Eep!” as she instinctively ducked, the steeled blade nearly missing her entirely.

Nearly.

Everyone gasped. Even Luna took a subconscious step backwards in shock. Rarity, who had collapsed to the ground in her mad dive to the ground, opened her eyes at the odd silence. “…Girls…?” she asked, her voice weak, “What’s the matter? Did something happen? I feel alright…”

A deafening silence answered.

Rarity raised a hoof to pat the top of her head, freezing instantly at what she felt. Or what she didn’t, to be exact. Eyes dilating to pinpricks, she looked down at her hooves, instantly seeing the remains.

The remains of her luscious, elegant mane littering the ground.

“…I need a mirror,” she demanded to no one in particular, her tone unnaturally stern. Still in shock, Luna teleported one in for her. Rarity transferred it to her own magical grasp, hesitantly awaiting the horror that faced her. And horror it was, indeed. To put it simply, there was nothing. To put it more detailed, her head was a forest of purple trees in ruinous, mismatched patterns of disgust. Rarity went silent.

“…Rares?” Applejack called out, her own voice faltering.

Rainbow slowly took a step forward. “You okay, there?”

Rarity didn’t answer, only continuing her paralyzed stare.

Luna took the opportunity to speak up. “Rarity?” she said worriedly, “I assure you I did not mean for this to happen. I am truly sorry—”

“No.”

Luna’s eyes widened.

“You’re not sorry,” Rarity said, slowing looking up from the mirror. Her eyes burned with the rage of thousand suns. Luna held back a gasp, taking a step back. Rarity glared pure hatred at her.

“Not yet.”

The Reaper of souls gulped.

Comments

[Vinnig]

Oh, you've done it now, Luna!

[Pterry]

“Not yet.”

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiit

[divinearcadia]

For some reason... I'm reading all of their voices in the RDP style... The uber whiny Fluttershy makes this stupidly hilarious

[eLLen]

5209269 Call me uncultured, but I have no idea what RDP is. Care to enlighten?

[Lord Seth]

5210841

I assume RDP stands for Rainbow Dash Presents. It's a video series that's a bit of a spin-off of The Mentally Advanced Series (an Abridged Series of the show) that takes fan fiction and hilariously parodies them.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL112E2C1E3085C4C7

My personal favorite is the Rainbow Factory parody (called "Captain Hook the Biker Gorilla" for reasons that are explained at the start of the video).

[MustacheMerlin]

And thats how Rarity became the new reaper.

[ShadowLDrago]

“You’re not sorry,” Rarity said, slowing looking up from the mirror. Her eyes burned with the rage of thousand suns. Luna held back a gasp, taking a step back. Rarity glared pure hatred at her.
“Not yet.”
The Reaper of souls gulped.

Hey Moony? RUN.

[Queensarrow]

“Or Sombra back in the Crystal Empire?” Applejack piped in.

I would like to point out that it wasn't the Elements that defeated Sombra. That would be Shining and Cadence. And Spike, maybe.

Great story so far.