the life of a human turned pony.

by Shadow Blaze

chaper 0

Chaper 0

Hello my name is nick or at least it was now it is shadow blaze

Once upon a time I was human I lived a normal life I went to school had some friends I was however abnormal I was one of the people who were always thinking but when it came time for action well I went all out. I was fast but stealthy I did parkour it honed my skills and after 5 years I started to take it to the next level. I started climbing taller buildings testing my limites going stright up a bulding the cops most of the time did not mind well until one day and that was the day my life changed. This is that story

Adrenalin that’s what I was runing for the cops had seen what happened those guys were chaseing me and well I had to do something

-flashback about 20 min ago-

I was walking down the street hands in my pockets minding my own as always thinking about good ways to write a story when I heard it down the ally way

Guy 1 “just give us the purse bitch and you we won’t have any trouble”

Guy 2”yeah just hand it here girl”

Girl “ok fine fine here take it please don’t hurt me!”

Guy 1”ok now get on your knees and”

He got now farther then that I came up behind him and kicked his leg out and slamed my knee into his skull
The second guy after getting over his shock turned around noticeing this pulled out a knife and swung at me grazeing my
arm it stung but I was no stranger to pain I jumped back from him

Guy 2 “ok kid you asked for it!”

He foolishly swung the knife again but I was ready for it grabing his arm and hiting him in the elbow bending it and breaking his arm then hiting him in the nerve cluster under his arm and grabing the knife from his hands before roundhouse kicking
him in the neck leaveing him chokeing for breath before a swift kick to the head knocked him out.

Women “OH MY GOSH THANK YOU!!!”

She pulled be into a hug crying on my shirt when I saw the third guy aiming a gun at my head from down the ally
I pushed the girl out of the way while throwing the knife at the gunman then ducking before I heard the bullet wizz by my head the knife landed right between his eyes which lost their color soon after

But as the universe always one to fuck with me had a police man runing down the ally at the same time he shot killing the police man

I walked over to make sure the guy was dead when more police ran down the ally seeing their dead cop and crying girl along with me bent over checking a guy to see if he was dead had them runing after me with guns drawn I quickly ran and scaled the nearest building the bullets thet shot comeing very close at one point blowing a brick apart that was next to my head
Lets just say im lucky the police are bad shots

That brings use to were we were before me runing for my life. I soon came to the end of the row of buildings quickly. My first
thoughts were oh god where am I going to run before I saw the pool below it was deep enough. I looked back seeing the cops aiming their guns at me

Cop “ok kid get down right now”

Me “ok”

I fell backwards no hopeing the fall would not kill me then I felt the water hit me.

And so did the bullet

It hurt like hell but I got out and kept runing it was dark out so any people were sleeping or minding their own so I ran until I could not run anymore I saw blood and lots of it my own

I looked at the wound and saw it was far beyond my capacity to fix with what I had I lay down in the ally accepting death as it would come to me

My life flashed before my eyes my first day of school my friends, family, my first impact roll and my progress through the ranks of parkour then I rememberd something

That something happened to be My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic

I remembed the fanfics the show how they made me wish my life was better they gave me hope and made me happy when I was sad. I smiled as I felt my life leaveing me my last thought on the ponys that had made happy for the last few months that happened to be the last few of my life.
____________________________________________________________________________________

So what does everyone (and evreypony) think huh? For a first chapter I think it went well I will try and upload each day so contiue to look for more chapters as they come up.

Comments

[Generaal]

I'm sorry, but it is badly written.

First of all, HIE's are common. There are at least a 1000 of them (no kidding). So if you make one, try to be original.
I do not see how this is original.

Besides, your writing style is weird:
Guy 2 “ok kid you asked for it!”
should be:
“ok kid you asked for it!” the second guy shouted at me.

There are also a lot of grammar mistakes.

[Blue Tunes]

I'm sorry, but this story is a grammatical nightmare starring a Mary Sue character ('I was fast but stealthy I did parkour it honed my skills' is NOT how you should approach an introduction of a character). Try re-reading your work out loud, and if the natural flow of your speaking voice encounters a pause add a comma (,). For example, your last paragraph, ignoring the spelling mistakes would flow much better with proper punctuation:

I remembed the fanfics from the show and how they'd made me wish my life was better, how they'd given me hope and made me happy when I was sad. I smiled as I felt my life leaving me, my last thought on the ponies that had made me happy for the months that had happened to be the last few of my life.

If you want to continue with your writing (something I'd strongly suggest anyone do, it's great fun) then you may need to consult a guide to the intricacies of the English language or else ask other writers for tips on your punctuation. Keep doing your thing, it is your story after all, but keep it in mind if you want to improve your work to the point that you can gather a reading base of your own.

[FlawlessVictory]

The story is good
pro tip: most people on the internet see spelling and/or grammatical errors as a capital offence