Antimatter

by MrPengu1n

Antipinkie Pie, pt 1

Pinkie Pie hopped through the backwards streets of Antiponyville, waving to all the antiponies she passed. The orange sky and scarlet leaves had a Nightmare Night-y feel to them. Pinkie Pie loved Nightmare Night!

But wait, Pinkie thought. This is Antiequestria! They wouldn't celebrate Nightmare Night, they'd celebrate....Dream Day? What kind of parties would they have for Dream Day, Pinkie wondered?

Antiparties?

Pinkie Pie was getting more and more excited about this new world with each passing step, but her rising excitement was cut short as she collided with something not very soft at all.

She pushed off and looked up to see a stallion with forest green fur, and a lighter green, neatly combed, short mane. He glanced down at Pinkie and scowled, with a face etched into a permanent frown. "Watch it," he growled.

Pinkie was struck. What a grumpy-grump way to treat another pony, she thought! This antipony needed some serious cheering up, and Pinkie Pie knew just how to deliver!

She spun around to the front of the green pony and frowned as big as she could, emulating the antipony's visage. He rose a brow questioningly, "Are you mocking me?" he asked in a gruff voice.

"Yes I am," Pinkie nodded, abandoning her frowny face for a brilliant smile. "My name's Pinkie Pie! And you look like you're in need of cheering up, Mister grumpy gus." She said, playfully seizing the pony's face in her hooves and forcing him to smile.

The pony slapped her hooves away. "Antipinkie Pie," he introduced. "Don't touch me."

"Antipinkie Pie?" Pinkie Pie repeated, giggling and snorting. "That's a silly name!"

"It's a family name," Antipinkie Pie responded. "Go away." He turned on his hoof and walked away.

Pinkie dashed to the front of him again, startling Antipinkie. He turned around to walk in the other direction, but Pinkie Pie was already over there, still smiling at him. He turned around again, but again Pinkie was there, still smiling.

"Stop that." Antipinkie objected.

"No can do, Grumpy-Me!" Pinkie rejected happily, "I need to cheer you up, and teach you the magic of friendship!"

Antipinkie gave her a strange look, raising one of his brows. "Excuse me?" he said, clearing his throat.

Pinkie Pie playfully hit his shoulder, "You heard me, silly!" she said dismissively, "How many friends do you have right now?"

Antipinkie opened his mouth, but said nothing. He wasn't correctly processing the gaudily pink bubblegum pony in front of him.

But apparently, this was not the answer Pinkie was looking for, as she gasped in absolute horror (oh, the absolute horror) and espoused declatorily, "That's just not right! You need to be friends with everypony! That's the Pinkie Pie way!"

"I'm Antipinkie Pie," he responded, "And as of now, I'm antifriends with everyone. Is that good enough?"

"W-what's an antifriend?" Pinkie Pie asked in mock fearfulness.

Antipinkie rolled his eyes, "Where have you been living?" he asked.

"Bizzaro world?" Pinkie Pie suggested with a grin.

Antipinkie rolled his eyes again, "Watch," he said. Turning around, he took a nearby box in his hooves and kicked it out into the middle of the way. A few moments later, a reddish furred stallion walked out and, not looking where he was going, tripped over the box, planting his face into the dirt path beneath him.

Antipinkie started chuckling at the sight, which quickly rose to a loud guffaw. "Hey, Antilyra!" he shouted at the pony, "Look out!"

Antilyra got to his hooves, laughing with an angry smile, "Thanks for the lack of concern," he shouted back, waving, "Really appreciate it!"

"Hey, how's your antihuman bigotry going?" Antipinkie called back, "Made any sort of appreciable contribution to antiscience yet?"

"I'm gonna kill you in your sleep!" Antilyra promised, waving and walking away.

"I wanna see you try!" Antipinkie waved back with a chuckle. He turned back to Pinkie and laughed, "Hate that guy," he said dismissively.

Pinkie Pie was dumbfounded. She'd never seen anything like it! The antiponies weren't angry or jealous or sad or anything else that would make a pony not smile and say mean things, they just seemed to love to hate! Now that she thought about it, everywhere she looked the ponies were subtly seething with hatred, she saw! Market keepers swindling shoppers, antifriends greeting each other with a painful looking hoofshake, and fillies dashing to and fro, fro and to, with squeals of pain, and not laughter!

She gasped louder than she had ever gasped before! "This is just terrible!" she declared, "I have to fix it! And I know just how!" she announced proudly, quickly sidling up to Antipinkie who had been trying to slip away unnoticed, "Are you thinking the opposite of what I'm thinking?" she said gleefully.

"You mean not killing you?" Antipinkie asked.

"A party!" Pinkie shouted, leaping into the air with pinkie pride. When she fluttered back down, she saw Antipinkie running away down the road. "Hey now, that's no fun!" she giggled, chasing after him.

She caught up to Antipinkie in a matter of seconds, who huffed and puffed from the exertion, "I have to go back to work," he panted, "Go away."

"Work?" Pinkie asked, "I'm sure it'll be okay! The Anticake's can handle it for you," she reasoned with a smile.

"Are you crazy?" Antipinkie near shouted, "They'll have my rump mounted over a fireplace if I skip out!"

"Wait, so you do work for the Anticake's?" Pinkie asked, "I was just guessing! Haha, I made a smart! I gotta remember to tell Twilight!" she said to herself, following Antipinkie as he tried to run away again. "So, you work at the cake shop, like me?" she asked, on a cleverness roll.

"What? No," Antipinkie shook his head, "I work in the sewers."

Pinkie gasped, "The sewers!" she repeated incredulously, "But I work in the cake shop!"

"Well, you work with what goes into a pony," Antipinkie reasoned, "I work with what comes out," he grumbled.

Pinkie Pie giggled at that.

Comments

[Backslash]

I loled so hard at anti freindship