• Published 9th Jul 2014
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War of the Frozen Fillies - Harbinger Of Mist

Celestia battles her sister in the dead of winter for the fate of all Equestria.

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Chapter 6: A Mare, a Plan, a Canal, Paerama

The evening had officially started; in a few hours, the sun shall set. Celestia stood atop one of her towers and advised her trusted student, with Spike nearby. "I finally figured out what Luna's plan is..."

"What is it?" Twilight responded.

"All of her guards can fly, yet she hasn't been utilizing aerial tactics like I expected her to." Celestia looked toward her sun. "Her guards are resting. They're staying on the ground and on the defense; letting their comrades save their energy for an all-out assault. She and her forces are strongest at night; once the moon rises, we'll be utterly destroyed. They have stronger vision in the dark, and they can sweep through my guards whom have been fighting all day." She looks down solemnly at her guards fighting in the fields. "My soldiers are already starting to show fatigue. They'll have no chance once the night falls. That's why we must think of a fool-proof plan and execute it before our final hours are up."

"Helloooo!" They heard Pinkie call to them from the trapdoor leading downstairs. "Perfect timing! I just so happen to have a GREAT plan! Or rather... plan-S!" She unfurls a parchment with clearly divided sections, each displaying a different strategy.

"Pinkie... these look ridiculous!" Twilight stated.

"I agree," said Celestia. "They're perfect!"


"These may seem hard to follow and the product of a mad-mare..." Celestia gives a brief affirming look at Pinkie. "But Luna will never expect any of them! She'll think I would be too foolish to listen to Pinkie, and I know she knows she's here. I wasn't expecting Luna to charge my fortress and attack alone. So she would not expect any craziness right back! If we follow through with any of these plans, she won't know what to do!"

"Wrong!" Pinkie objected. The two Princesses turned to her attention in shock. "Isn't Luna a little too... crafty?"

"...For her own good." The sun goddess added.

"She may know how to think ahead... But she doesn't know how think like ME!" Pinkie proclaimed.

"But then, what about those new plans you made for us?" Twilight inquired.

"Oh. These aren't for us..." She turned and whistled. To which the CMC zipped in front to her attention. Pinkie hoofed over the parchment to the three. "Take these to Princess Luna, and don't get caught!"

The CMC saluted and ran back down the stairs.

"Pinkie! What are you doing?!" Twilight was unquestionably upset and confused. "Why would you think of such elaborate plans just to give them to the enemy?!"

Pinkie turned back to her friend with a flat face. "You still don't know how to think like me either, Twilight." She walks toward her and consoles. "Nothing to worry about. They're spies. Luna will think they're working for her and believe the plans are fake because they got past me so easily, but then go back to thinking they're real because she knows that's what I would want to happen."

"Isn't that a bad thing?!" Twilight growled.

"Hold on, Twilight. I understand now." Celestia concurred.

"But Princ--" Twilight was cut off by Pinkie.

"Sh-sh-sh! She's about to be brilliant!"

"You see..." Celestia explained. "They are spies but they actually ARE working for Luna. So the fillies' naivete would lead them to believe that Pinkie's plans are a decoy, then consider how Pinkie thinks and think the plans are real. So when they relay that info to Luna, She'll think it's fake at first, then believe the Crusaders fed her false information because of their innocence. Then consider Pinkie and think the plans are fake again. But knowing my sister and how she's been throughout this war. She will think--"

"--These plans are a sham!" Luna tossed the parchment with the stolen plans aside back in her throne room.

"What?!" Sweetie Belle shrieked.

Scootaloo added, "How can they possibly be fake?!"

"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash retrieved the plans and reopened them. "These plans have Pinkie Pie written all over them! What other battle plans for a snow-war could possibly include a sombrero and a dozen pizza boxes?"

Luna snatched the parchment and argued back. "Celestia wants us to think they're fake. But since she has Pinkie as an advisor, she would have drawn up real plans at first and simply fork them over to those three," she gestured to the Crusaders, "thinking being foolish is smart. But I know how Celestia would think with the pink one's assistance. I may be delving too deep into this, thinking 8 steps too far ahead, but I know for a fact that these plans are fake!" She slams the parchment on the ground. "You three are dismissed!" She commanded to the CMC, to which they departed.

Rarity picks the plans back up. "Your highness, with all due respect, these still could be valuable. What if they DO turn out to be real?"

"Of course they're real!" Luna rebutted to everypony's surprise. "I didn't want those fillies to think that I thought that these were real. They're working for my sister!" She explained her plan. "Now that they think that I think they're fake, they'll relay that information to my sister, whom will in turn think that I thought the plans were real, then Pinkie will step in and say that I think they're fake. But she doesn't know that I know that she'll think that I think the plans are real! So if we prepare for any of these plans coming into fruition, they'll be confused and caught off-guard!"

Everyone in the room seemed to have had their brains short-circuited.

Rainbow Dash shook herself back to reality. "So wait... Who's on first?"

Sweetie Belle was giggling maniacally, yet softly just around the corner outside the entrance to Luna's throne room. She quickly scuttled back to meet her friends outside and high-tailed out of the combat zone toward the outer edge of the garden. They all take a rest when they felt they were safe. "Yes!" Sweetie Belle cheered. "My plan is working!"

"Whaddaya mean?" asked Applebloom.

"Celestia and Luna both think the plans are real! And neither of them think we'll be coming back!" Sweetie explains. "Celestia thinks we might come back to carry out one of those plans, and Luna thinks we're going to feed 'not-so-false' information to Celestia!" She could barely contain her laughter. "But now! They're both hopelessly confused!"

Scootaloo scratched her head. "So wait... Who did we just give an advantage to?"

Sweetie Belle was chuckling and snorting. She struggled to give an answer. "I don't know!... And I don't care!" She dove her head into the snow and let out all her pent up laughter. After a few moments she came back up and calmly yet breathlessly resumed. "All we do now is sit back and admire our hard work." She set her front legs up on her friends' shoulders and sighed in satisfaction.

Sweetie Belle was unaware that Luna knew she was listening in on them before she ran off. Luna took the parchment with the plans and incinerated it in her dark blue aura. Everyone was in shock. "Now that that troublesome filly is gone, we can implement our real plan."

One of her captains spoke up. "But your highness! Didn't you say those plans were important?!"

"Only to throw off our little spies. Whether they go back to Celestia or not, those plans are irrelevant. If they do use them, I can easily take care of them myself. Pinkie may have made creative plans, but they still had more holes in them than cheese. Pinkie thinks I can't think like her, but a thousand years on the moon leaves you with plenty of time to think; plenty of time to become crafty..." She closed her eyes and snickered evilly, "too much for your own good."

Fluttershy stepped up and timidly asked, "So um... What is the REAL REAL plan?"

"'Tis already underway. Celestia knows this, and I know she knows it." Everyone in the room promptly covered their ears. A moment later they figured out she wasn't about to start up again. "I also know that she knows there is nothing she can do. Once I raise the moon..." She smiled deviously and softly rubbed her hooves together. "I shall also raise Tartarus."

Author's Note:

...To tell you the truth...