The Camping Glitch

by PonyBlaze

Chapter 1

A young unicorn colt trotted through the streets, his hooves sloshing in the puddles that were littering the ground, it was raining heavily and each bolt of lightning seemed to make him jump. His onyx coat was very damp, and his indigo-violet mane was plastered like a thin veil to his face. His glasses were soaked, making his vision highly obscured. He walked into Sugar Cube Corner, and as the door opened the jingle of a bell rang throughout the shop. Quicker than possible a pink frizzy-maned mare was at the counter with two baby foals in each of her arms.

“Hey Iridescence!” She cheered in her normal manner.

“Hey Pinkie!” He happily smiled back.

“The usual?”

“Yep.”

And with that, the cheery mare sprang into action, performing unnecessary acrobatics while jumping to get the food. She stood upside-down in the air while waiting for the special order to be finished.

Mrs. Cake walked downstairs with a paler-than-normal coat and an expression like she'd just seen a ghost.

“Mrs. Cake what's wrong?” The young colt asked, as the crazy party pony was waiting for the oven to beep.

“Mr. Cake is gone!”

“It's okie-dokie-lokie Mrs. Cake! I mean the writer wouldn't kill anypony as nice as him, now would they?”

The two ponies stared back at the upside-down mare with a quizzical look.

“Oh. Right. Fourth wall again!” She smiled.

Mrs. Cake shook her head and looked back to the matter at hand.

“What if he's dead?” The baker pondered.

“Wrong!” Pinkie Pie chirped.

“Ponynapped?”

“It's a surprise!” The seemingly-crazy pony winked.

A loud beeping sound rang through the bakery.

“It's ready!” Pinkie sang. “One Iridescence special coming right up!”

The colt smiled. He grabbed the bag with his warm cookie in it and looked in. A cookie with purple icing frosted on it and a green smiley face looked back up at him.
“Here's your six bits!”

“Don't worry, it's on the house, since we know you'll be back tomorrow.” Mrs. Cake smiled at the foal's generosity, wondering who had taught him such a virtue.

All three ponies stood there, Pinkie looking at who-knows-what as the other two sat on their haunches, unaware of the dangers lurking out in the streets of Ponyville. The tension seemed to rise until it escalated to a fine point. The school colt looked at his watch and realized the time.

“I wish I could help some more. I really do, but my mom is probably expecting me home.” The colt blurted, breaking the tension that had built up in the room.

He ran out the door in a hurry and stepped into the streets, wandering, but still with a direct location in his mind.

A hooded figure stepped out of the shadows cast by a large building, His glowing yellow eyes looking hungrily at the unicorn, he took a device out and sat on his haunches, playing with the settings of the obscurity as the colt rushed by. The strange stallion began to walk behind the foal.

The poor foal was completely oblivious to who was behind him, and what was about to happen. He stopped in his tracks as he remembered that he had read some basic spellbooks from Ponyville's Library. His eyes began to glow, which differed from a normal unicorn's magic, as a small iridescent purple platform appeared below him. This wouldn't prevent getting soaked, but he could travel quite fast with the usage of this spell. About to set into motion, his platform dissipated into the air. He was only about a foot off of the ground, thank Celestia, so he tried to get back up, but he realized none of his legs were responding to him.

“What's going on?” He challenged, false bravery evident in his voice.

“Look at the brave little one.” A snide voice hissed in his ear. “Your last moments of your own free will, and you're still willing to stand up to me.” The hooded figure snickered. “Too bad none of your limbs are working, or you might actually stand a chance.”

Iridescence's eyes glowed, and a large disc of purple appeared above the threatening pony. The disc began to slowly press down, his intentions now obvious.

The assailant pointed his strange contraption at the disc of magic, and it was gone in a flash. He then pointed it at the colt, and his device scanned the colt, graphs began to show up, stating things like his speed, intelligence, dexterity, strength, magic, chaos, potential and skill. He smirked at the shocking stats that showed up.

“Quite the character for a young pony. Looks like I struck gold tonight.”

The device sent out large lines of magic data, which encircled Iridescence and began to draw him in. His last thought before his body became dormant and his mind was erased, was “Stay safe Pinkie!”

“Good morning, my little ponies,” Cheerilee sang as she trotted into the classroom.

“Good morning, Miss Cheerilee,” her sleepy class echoed back.

Cheerilee looked around the class, and saw an empty desk. After counting heads, she was shocked at the pony who was missing.

“Well that's odd,” she announced quizzically. “Iridescence is always here.” She considered for a moment, and figured he was out in the rain too long the night before.

Cheerilee trotted over to the desk of a pale-olive filly with a brilliant amaranth mane and a large pink bow in her hair, her eyes were gently closed and she had a dreamy smile on her face. Snickers could be heard as their teacher stared intently at the sleeping figure.

“Ahem, Apple Bloom,”

“One more minute AJ, ah'm kinda tired.”

Cheerilee sighed.

“Apple Bloom, it's Miss Cheerilee.”

“Oh mah gosh! Ah'm so sorry Miss Cheerilee!”

“Apple Bloom, you seem to have had a long night... What were you doing last night?”

“Well ah was really focused on gettin' mah Cutie Mark! And Ah figured that since apple-based Cutie Marks run in the family, that would be mah Cutie Mark! Ah tried everythang! Bakin' apple pie, apple tarts, apple crumbles, caramel apples, Ah even started buckin' apples from the trees! And then Ah”

“Apple Bloom, that's nice but...”

“Tried to go tah bed but Ah couldn't! Ah was too rahled up!”

“Apple Bloom, it's time for me to teach...”

“Oh raht, sorry Miss Cheerilee!” The school filly cheerily replied.

Miss Cheerilee trotted back to her desk and sat down. She looked on her desk and saw an apple she smiled.

“Who was so generous as to give me a lovely treat?” Cheerilee asked.

“Oh, well it was my sister! She's the Element of Generosity, y'know” A light-grey unicorn filly happily replied.

“Oh, Rarity, of course! I should've known! That pony's always going out of her way to do people favours.”

“Ya!” The content Sweetie Belle replied.

“Now, it's time for us to start Marematics!”

A large chorus of groans cried out, obviously displeased with the statement.

The hour of Marematics passed by much slower than expected, especially without Iridescence, he was normally the one who answered everything, and he also helped anypony that didn't understand the lesson. A large, ear-piercing bell saved the day, signalling the end of Marematics, and the beginning of recess.

The happy foals piled out into the schoolyard, as some grabbed jump ropes, some went to play dodge ball, and some just talked with their friends. What older ponies say was proven to be true, “time flies when you're having fun.” The minutes passed by in what seemed like seconds and a second bell rang, as the foals all began to trot back inside.

“Welcome back my little ponies, grab some paint and sit at your desk, because now it's time for art!” Cheerilee exclaimed.

The ponies all grabbed colours and began to paint many things, some painted skateboards, while some painted food, and then you-know-who painted their rainbow-hued idol.

“Scootaloo, why don't you try to paint something besides Rainbow Dash?” Cheerilee questioned.

“Because! One day I'm gonna be just like her!” The young pegasus quickly responded.

“Yes, I understand, and I admire you for having such a clear sight on your dream, but-”

“It's not a dream it's a mission!” The orange pegasus exclaimed as she cut-off her teacher.

“Okay, but, variety is the spice of life, right?”

“Save that namby-pamby talk for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon! I'm gonna fly and grow up to be just like Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo, now standing on her desk, challenged.

“Scootaloo, there's no way a dodo could fly as fast as Rainbow Dash!” Apple Bloom laughed.

“Yes I can! I'll fly even faster! You'll see!”

“Actually, a dodo is a flightless, extinct bird, related to pigeons but about the size of a turkey, which inhabited the islands of Mauritius, Réunion, and Rodriguez therefore, you would not be able to fly at all if you were a dodo.” The dim-witted Sweetie Belle commented.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked at Sweetie Belle with an eyebrow cocked, and smirked.

“I am NOT A DICTIONARY!” Sweetie Belle hollered at the top of her lungs.

“Yeah, well then I'm not a dodo!”

“Never mind I am a dictionary.” Sweetie Belle giggled.

Scootaloo frowned.

“Now girls, let's all get along,” Cheerilee soothed as the lunch bell rang.

The classroom of these school ponies was utter chaos, a scene that Discord would have more than loved. Ice cream, cookies, pie, sandwiches, and many other desserts and food were stuck to the ceiling, the walls, and the floor had a thick layer of flour over the majority of it. One half was all of the fillies, all using lunch trays as shields, and the other half was all of the colts, protected by barricades made out of desks. The colts were all throwing food at the fillies as they began to advance.

Cheerilee walked in the classroom, oblivious to all as she trotted in, humming a tune, and went to sit at her desk. Anyways she would have, had it been there and not in the barricade line. She opened her eyes, looked around and shrieked. The class looked like Sugar Cube Corners had exploded in it.

Cheerilee glared with a look that could cut glass.

“Where is my desk?”

The foals scrambled wildly to put her desk back in place.

“Now, how did this start?” Cheerilee glared on.

Apple Bloom stepped forward, head lowered to the ground and she confessed “Miss Cheerilee, Ah'm terribly sorry, we shouldn't a' done it. It's all mah fault, and don't blame anypony else!”

“Thank you for your honesty Apple Bloom, but how did this start?”

“Well Ah was eatin' mah lunch, just like everypony else, and Ah was bored, so Ah asked who was bored. And a lot of people put their hooves up, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon t'were bein' twits, so Ah thought that maybe ah should possibly start a li'l fun bah maybe throwin' mah lunch at 'em and then they went and hid in the supply cupboard, where we found the big bags of flour, and Pinkie brought in a huge tub of ice cream because she thought it t'was a party, and then we started throwin' that everywhere, and then the colts grabbed all the desks and Scootaloo and Ah had the great idea of grabbin' all o' the lunch trays, and then Sweetie Belle grabbed some pots and pans out o' the cafeteria, and, and...”

“Okay, Apple Bloom, I think I've decided on your punishment.”

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo stepped forward.

“It was our fault too! Don't only punish her!”

Twist and Dinky Hooves stepped forward.

“Ours too!”

Dizzy Hooves stepped sideways, she would have stepped forward but her wall-eyed-ness was making it difficult for her to see straight.

“Mine too!”

Soon, the whole class had stepped forward, save Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and Cheerilee decided that their punishment would be that they would just have to clean up the room.

After expending all of the English period, it was time for Pony's Ed. It was more free time than it was exercise, which made it much more enjoyable. The Cutie Mark Crusaders all grabbed hula hoops and began to spin them, Scootaloo was quite mediocre, and Sweetie Belle wasn't fairing so well either, but Apple Bloom was a champion! She had 6 around her waist, three on each front leg, and one on her back left leg, while balancing on her right leg.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, looking to spoil Apple Bloom's fun, each grabbed a hula hoop, and taunted.

“Apple Bloom, catch!”

The hula hoops whirled towards her direction, about twice her height off the ground and Apple Bloom lept in the air catching one on her front left and the other around her neck. The two “primps,” as the other foals called them, sauntered off in a foul mood.

Twenty minutes before dismissal, all of Cheerilee's students were inside.

“Okay, now as I'm sure some of you know, we have not had a big trip yet, and the end of the school year is approaching, my little ponies, and I enlisted for all of the fillies to go on a camping trip”

The fillies all cheered, minus the two primps, and the colts all began to holler about how they weren't going.

“Don't worry, all the colts will be going to Equestria's PonyLand!” Cheerilee happily stated.

The colts all began to cheer this time, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon approached Miss Cheerilee.

“Miss Cheerilee, why do all those stinky colts get to go to Equestria's PonyLand but all of us stunning fillies have to go camping?” Diamond Tiara whined. “In the woods!” Silver Spoon added.

“Because my little pri-- I mean ponies,” Cheerilee started, clearly annoyed. “The colts all get along with each other, but there is some very noticeable fighting going on with the fillies. Don't think of it as camping, think of it as bonding!” Cheerilee beamed.

“But I don't need to booonnd!” Diamond Tiara retorted.

“Now, this trip is a great opportunity,” Cheerilee explained, while handing out the forms, skipping over Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. “And I'm not going to let any of you skip this one.” She specified towards the two primps.

The rambunctious chatter began, everypony clearly excited about their trips, the chatter continued out the door, and dragged on until they all had to go their separate ways.

Pinkie Pie smiled at the door of Sugar Cube Corners, waiting impatiently for a special something. Mrs. Cake looked over and then remembered “Oh right today's the day Ponville ends.” Mrs. Cake walked by several times in the next few hours, as Pinkie somehow grew a moustache and beard.

“Pinkie, honey, it's 11:00p.m., maybe their train was delayed until tomorrow,” Mrs. Cake suggested.

“Nope! It's only 5:00! My inexplicable reality-bending window and cuckoo clock made it seem like it was11:00!” She beamed.

Mrs. Cake sighed and walked away, and was about to ask about Pinkie's beard when she heard a bell.
Death.

The door flew open as two school aged fillies walked in. One was the spitting image of Pinkie Pie, albeit she had wings, and the other had a blue, straight mane, with most of it hanging in her face with a pale cyan coat and deep purple eyes. Her cutie mark was a boxing glove.

“Pinkie Fly! Fighter Fly! Excited to be living with cousin Pinkie?!”

“Yo.”

“Oh my gosh cousin Pinkie long time no see I haven't seen you in such a long time I love coming to visit you! How have you been? Gotten taller? Older? Wiser? More super duper Pinkie-riffic Pie-mazing party-tastic?” Pinkie Fly exhaled and began to breathe again.

“Pinkie, deary, don't forget to tell them about their new school!” Mrs. Cake reminded.

As if on cue, Cheerilee walked in.

“Hello Pinkie Pie, hello Mrs. Cake, how are you?”

“I'm super! Watcha doin' here Cheerilee? Say hi to my cousins Pinkie Fly and Fighter Fly because they're gonna be in your class tomorrow!”

Oh Celestia no... “Great Pinkie! Then they'll be needing these!” She handed the fillies each a form for the camping trip. “Also, Pinkie I was wondering if you would like to be a chaperone for the trip? There's going to be fourteen fillies! I can't watch them all! And plus you could have tons of fun with your cousins!”

“Ohgoshohgoshohgosh! Yesyesyesyes! Where do I sign?” Pinkie asked.

“Nowhere, you just come to school in a week with your camping gear!”

Applejack grunted as she kicked a tree with full force, knocking all of the apples down into a bushel underneath the shade of the tree. Cheerilee trotted up and leaned against the side of an apple tree.

“Hey there, sugarcube.”

“Hi Applejack! How are you.”

“Good, thanks, how may Ah help ya sugarcube?”

“Oh, well I need some chaperones for a camping trip, and you came into mind, would you be able to help me?”

“Of course sugarcube! When'll it be?”

“In two weeks from now, please remind Apple Bloom to get her trip form signed, and aside from that bring your camping gear for 3 nights!”

“Can do.”

Cheerilee trotted off to the next pony's house on her list, bringing her to Derpy Hooves' cabin. She knocked on the door. No answer. Again. Nothing. Then, suddenly, a flying figure crashed behind Cheerilee, scaring the mare half to death. As the pegasus began to get up, her coat and mane completely covered in dirt, her wall-eyed-ness the only defining feature at the moment. Which eye do I look in? I don't wanna ask because that would be mean, but if I look in the wrong one she'd think I'm rude...

“Hey there Derpy!”

“Hi Miss Cheerilee!”

“How are you, have your sisters come home yet?”

“Nope they're coming up the path right now!” The mailmare confirmed.

“Oh, well they're being invited to come on a camping trip and I wanted to know if you could be a chaperone?”

“Of course Miss Cheerilee! I will be there!” Derpy responded with a clumsy salute.

“Bring camping gear for three nights, at the school in two weeks from today!”

“Yes ma'am!”

Halfway done, Cheerilee thought.

Outside of Fluttershy's cottage looked quite different, like an odd place for a pony to live. But it wasn't just for a pony, it was for birds, bunnies, cats, dogs, bats, hummingbirds, mice, squirrels, badgers and any other animal that Fluttershy pleased.

Cheerilee walked up to the door and knocked, Fluttershy immediately answered the door, inviting her in.

“Um... H... Hi Miss Cheerilee.”

“Hi Fluttershy, I'm sorry for being hasty, but I'm in a rush. In two weeks, all the fillies and I are going on a camping trip for three days, I've already invited some of your friends, and they also agreed and you'll get to see tons of animals so it would be a great opportunity for you!.” Cheerilee finished, out of breath. “Man, how does Pinkie do it?”

“Oh... of course! I mean if my friends are going it should be fun right?”

“Thank you Fluttershy!”

Only three more! She ran into Carousel Boutique and noticed Sweetie Bell sneaking away some fabric to bring to the Cutie Mark Crusaders' clubhouse.

“In a minute dear! Rarity is making perfection!”

“Hi Rarity! Has Sweetie told you about the camping trip?”

“Oh, but of course! Such a lucky dear being able to go with all of her friends!”

“Well I need some chaperones...”

A loud laugh scared Cheerilee.

“Oh dear, I... I didn't mean I would like to go!”

“But you just said...”

“I know but imagine the dirt! Think of my hooves! My mane! My tail! My coat!” The dramatic pony gasped, and started to fake hyperventilate, falling onto her couch.

“Please Rarity! You can bring anything as long as you can carry it!”

“Oh! But of course dear! Why didn't you say so!” Rarity laughed, grabbing a gigantic tent.
“Thank you! The information is on the form!”

“But of course, darling!”

Cheerilee ran to Ponyville's Library, and asked the small dragon assistant where his purple unicorn friend was.

“Oh she's over there, studying!” The purple dragon answered enthusiastically

“Thank you Spike!” Cheerilee trotted over to the purple unicorn hunched over the desk, reading many books furiously.

“Hey Twilight...” Cheerilee cautiously greeted, hoping it wasn't one of those times again, shuddering remembering the Smarty Pants incident.

“Hi.”

“Can you possibly be a chaperone for a camping trip that I'll be taking with my class?”

“No.”

“Come on Twilight I've always wanted to go camping!” Spike relented

“No.”

“You could study the magic of friendship and have more to put in your next report!” He continued.

“Well...”

“Princess Celestia might give you an “Astounding Magical Breakthrough” award” He finished, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

However, Twilight didn't sense the sarcasm and immediately accepted.

“Okay, in two weeks, for three days.”

“Spike, write that down”

“Yes ma'am!”

Cheerilee's final chaperone idea, Rainbow Dash. Unsure of where the pegasus would be, she ran towards a field, and began to search.

“Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Come on Dash, I need your help.” She hollered.

She searched in a bush and when she turned around, a multi-hued pegasus was standing there, smiling.

“What can Equestria's fastest flier do for ya?”

“Well I was bringing the class on a camping trip and I need one last chaperone. Maybe you could help?”

“La-ame.”

“Scootaloo will be so disappointed,” the schoolteacher sighed, hoping that her plan would work.

“The Squirt? Haha that changes everything! Maybe Ill even get to teach her how to fly!”

“Thank you so much Rainbow Dash! Two weeks, three days trip!”

A hooded pony with glowing yellow eyes smiled. Equestria's fastest flier, eh? Maybe this one will actually put up a fight.

------------------------------------------------------

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic © by Hasbro/Lauren Faust
All Characters belong to their rightful owners
I do not claim ownership over anything used in this story.

Comments

[Purple Thunder]

Reading later, waiting for the site to be back to normal.

[DrunkenClouds54]

391364 You have problem with the names, right? Well if so, go to the bottom of the page and click the button 'Toggle G1 Mode' and the names will be back the way they were! As for the no tracking button, I don't know.

My expression at the last sentence was: OH FUCK! But in all seriousness, great story! I can't wait for the next chapter! That colt! I feel bad for him! I imagine him as Lightweight from todays...yesterdays episode! Ooh! What was with Pinkie? Oh! She was breaking the fourth wall! And the whole 'Today is the day Ponyville ends' shit. Seriously? Well, better get ready!

[Purple Thunder]

391785 Ah, it fixed the font too, that's the only problem I had.

[PonyBlaze]

Wow... *Surprised people even read this* I'm glad people are reading it! Hooded figure will be appear at least once in every chapter I can tell you that. Epic Adventure time!
391785 Ponyville won't end TODAY, now tomorrow or the day after maybe... Expect next chapter ASAP!

[DrunkenClouds54]

394015 Yay!....

[PonyBlaze]

394407 Chapter 2 in progress... nopony is safe from the hooded scaryass stallion!

[DrunkenClouds54]

394437 Not even Pinkie? Wow.

[PonyBlaze]

394444 Well Pinkie breaks all laws of physics, so she could easily escape if she was captured.

[DrunkenClouds54]

394461 Great! But the others.... It matters what the hooded pony does with them.

[PonyBlaze]

394467 I have two possible ideas right now... I'll give you a small spoiler of Chapter 2 if you want one.

[DrunkenClouds54]

394536 Sure!

[PonyBlaze]

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!
I will not be held responsible for anybody's anguish of this spoiler

394556 A hint as to what he does is near the beginning of the first chapter.