Walking in Mairephis

by Sunka

Prepertory Bombardment

It tickled. Yards moved his head away. Something was tickling his ear. He swiped at it with a hoof, only to contact something. What did he just punch? Groggily he came to.

He'd camped out that night in the living room. There were only two bedrooms and the pegasi were already using them. A floor made out of fluffy clouds wasn't that horrible for sleeping. His sleeping bag shared the same enchantment as his shoes. That way he could sleep with his shoes off and not accidentally roll over and out of the house.

Beside his sleeping bag was a mug of hot apple-cinnamon tea and a bowl full of reheated kechak from last night's griffoniese. Kechak was made with cactus, lichen, onion, peppers, a little brown sauce and chunks of two different cheeses that melted the whole thing together as you ate it. Real griffon chefs put goat flesh in there. Ponies replace it with a combination of tofu and mushrooms. This place used button mushrooms. He ate it, but much preferred how he'd had it back in Mustang Gulch while he was in the service with the black tree fungus.

“Morning Sleepyhead.” Yards rolled over to see behind him. The dun colored librarian was standing over him. Her zebra striped mane and tail were still down. Something was up.

“Toffee? Doing something new with your mane?”

“Nah, just letting it breathe some.” She shook her mane, Braiding it took a lot of hair to wear something “up” like she usually did. He hadn't noticed how long it was getting. “Do you like it?”

“It's nice,” he said reaching for his tea. “Wha's goin' on?”

She looked at him quizzically.

He rubbed his eyes. “Come on Tof, you wake me up chewing on me, you're changing your appearance, cooking.”

She looked away. “Well, it's...I...you, seem to like mares that are more assertive and...”

“Toffee, no. Don't. Not for me, not for anypony.”

Her eyes pleaded with him. “But,”

“Tof, you're an Elemental. You are a heroine.” He stomped his shoes on as he slipped out of his sleeping bag.

“I don't feel like one.”

“Do they ever? You've read enough stories you should know how this goes.”

“Well, usually they have somepony back home they're fighting for...”

Yards sighed. “Toffee, look...”

“I know, you don't want to chose and hurt feelings.” She looked down in dejection.

Yards stepped over his breakfast and lifted her head up with a hoof. “Look, I'll always be there, I just...I can't be your somepony special. Hey, how about, Messer. He's a hero, you know.”

Toffee scowled. “He's also about as conversational as a brick.”

“He might just be shy. Come on, give him a chance.”

She huffed. “Yards, why?”

“Because I care, so I want to see you happy. Since I can't make you happy, then I want to find somepony who can.”

“I love you too.” Quickly she turned and walked out the door.

“Wow, and I thought I had troubles with Aurora. You handled that reasonably well.” Shining emerged from where he was sleeping in the dining area.

Yards picked up his breakfast and carried it in to the table. He bit back his first few retorts in honor of his agreement with Starfall. As he walked by all he said was “Thanks.” He sat down at the table and began spooning his meal into his mouth.

Shining started rummaging through the cabinets. “Hey, if you want, you know, I could give you some pointers on leadership. You've got good instincts, could help with the mares.”

Yards bit back his bile. Sure tell him what a failure he is. Rub it in his face. He grunted noncommittally.

“I've got to go with Messer to Ft Chickadee Bluff. My clearance should get us all we need to know about this old base we're looking to infiltrate.”

Yards grunted again. He'd agreed to at least not antagonize him, nopony said he had to talk to him.

Shining poured hot water over his instant oatmeal. Then he sat down at the other side of the table from Yards. They chewed in silence, staring at each other.

“Looks like you won't have to go undercover. What are you looking at doing today?”

“Reading.”

“Okay.” Shining fished for a topic. “Do you need anything?”

Yards looked over at his paraphernalia on the other side of the table. “Cheese-bits.”

Shining nodded.

Yards carried his dishes over to the sink then walked up the stairs to the bathroom. Apparently Starfall had already left too, so he hid out in the shower until the other stallions left. He dried off and changed his bandage before coming down to an empty house.

He reached out with his mind to grab his book and grunted in pain as the magic manifested internally. Sighing he walked over and physically grabbed it before settling down on the couch. Nuzzling through he started taking notes on tensile strengths.

The clouds used for building materials were far different from the easily bucked clouds the weather factory used to carry rain. These were stronger and reinforced, so you couldn't accidentally buck a hole in a building. This was going to be a military base, so it would be even more difficult to destroy. That was why the Solari created Smooze in the first place. Yards had to revisit his worst subject in college. It was going to be a rough day.

_____________________________________________________________________________
A little after noon Messer came back. Yards had stretched on his back with his head dangling off the edge of the cloud-couch. His sleeping bag was draped over the furniture so he could be more comfortable and still yet not fall screaming to his death through the floor.

“Still reading?” asked Messer.

“Yeah, No horn, can't do magic so I'm just an earth pony in a cloud city.”

“No wings didn't make me an earth pony.”

"Is your family three quarters earth pony?" Yards looked at him.

“Stop being a bitch.”

Yards righted himself. “Excuse me?” His hoof slid off the couch and punched through the floor. He managed to catch himself with the rest of his body.

“Leader's don't whine.”

“I'm not a leader. I'm a research engineer.” Yards kicked his shoes back on. He walked over to his antagonist. Messer was slightly shorter, but thicker. He could probably take the unicorn in a fight, even on the ground. While standing on a cloud, without his magic, the fight would clearly be his. They both knew it, but Yards refused to back down just out of spite. The now earth pony looked him square in the eyes when the pegasus smiled.

“That's a good leader.”

There was a knock at the door. Reflexively Yards grabbed for it with his magic only for it to stab him in the head. That was going to take some getting used to. Messer opened the door and jumped to the other side to make room for a large crate. Shining came in right after. The crate was addressed to “Commander Shiny Pants”. He sat the box in the middle of the living area, where a coffee table would have been. Then he started pulling boards up.

Inside were suits of barde. They had been too big and obvious to take with them on the train. Shining pulled out his personal suit and set it aside while Messer pulled out his own. Yards saw his old set down in there next to some other stuff he didn't want to bring on the train. Like his grenades.

“Why are there six sets of barding in here?”

“For all of us,” Shining answered Yards.

“The mares shouldn't be going. They're not trained.”

“There's three of us to make sure they survive.”

Yards glared at his math. “That's why we shouldn't take them. If we leave them then we're all likely to survive. If one of them panics, their actions could kill us all.”

Shining gave him a stern look. “The Princesses said to take them. It's out of our hooves.”

“It doesn't matter who's bad idea it is, it's still a bad idea.”

“Do you not trust your friends?”

Yards glared at him. “That's not fair.”

“No, it's not. But you're going to have to get over it. They're coming.”

“They're my ponies.”

“You're not a commander. You're an engineer.” Messer interrupted.

Pure hate boiled out of his soul. It was a good thing that he didn't have his horn, otherwise he'd wrap a psychokinetic field around his heart and squeezed.

“Are you ready to be a leader?” Shining asked Yards.

All Yards could see was white. His rage began to take hold. Sorry, Starfall, but he wasn't able to hold his anger back anymore.

“Only if I'm leading the train on your mom.” Yards leapt over the crate and came down at his enemy. Shining casually grabbed him in a PK bubble. Yards tried to counter it, but his horn zapped him back. He screamed his impotent rage.

Shining just held him there until Yards tired himself out.

“I FOUND IT!” Toffee shouted as she walked in. She stopped and looked at a slowly rotating Yards, suspended in the air. Her head rotated with his body. “Yards?”

“He's in time out.” Shining said without looking. They were organizing the weapons and gear from the crate. “Here, see if this fits.” He floated out a set of light barde and began to set it on her back.

It was of general Solari design with it's typical golden color. The accents were done in an orangish color. The chest piece was emblazoned with a quill and book, much like her cutie mark. Her cheeks blushed as he adjusted the stiff wicker and metal plates held fast by cotton web belting. “It's...it's...beautiful. Thank you. Wow.” As he finished he backed away to give her room to flap and try some movement. Yards saw her. It wasn't just the armor that was beautiful. Shining made some last minute adjustments to help her encumbrance. The armor itself was considered “light” grade, even for pegasus barde. It would provide basic protection for minimum weight. Well, the minimum weight for armor. She was barely able to fly in it.

Messer smiled at her. Shining gave a good natured laugh. “Let's just hope you don't have to get used to it.”

“Thank you,” she said again.

“So what did you find?” Yards asked from his invisible bubble.

“Oh,” she said from inside her new helmet. Gently she pulled it off, fixing her braids while she did so. “So, I did some looking around and apparently Mr. Moissanite just bought a 50 gallon drum of hynasse oil.”

They all stared blankly at her.

“Hynasse oil!”

They all looked at each other. She gave a disgruntled sigh. “Clouds are made out of moisture. There are numerous thing that you have to protect from humidity, like a wardrobe or books. Hynasse oil is the stuff you spray on a cloud to create an elastic barrier that stops moisture.”

“So...” Shining was still trying to put it together. “How much can he do with 50 gallons?”

“Well, assuming a standard of 300 square foot per gallon, double coated...” Yards did some quick math, “enough for a missile silo.”

Shining eyes narrowed with focus and he pounded one hoof into the other. “We've got to get in there and stop him.”

“No we don't.”

Shining's hard glare turned to mystification with a blink. He looked up at the floating, wingless pony. “We've got no evidence he's doing anything wrong. So far all he's done that we know of is that he's bought an old base, which must be okay since the Solari did it, and bought enough of a compound to create a lab, a library and a nice swimming pool. There's no way we could get a warrant for this.”

“We don't need a warrant, we have Celestia's blessings.”

Yards scoffed. “And Sun Butt wonders why ponies consider her a tyrant.”

“We're not tyrants, no pony has to be hurt.”

“Oh no, we're just going to show up on his doorstep with six ponies in military armor and say 'excuse me, Mr Chemist, we'd like to come in and look around.”

“You've heard of him?”

“Don't know him from Faust.”

“How do you know he's a chemist?”

“His name.” Yards rolled his eyes, stating the obvious. “Come on, what's your degree in? Physical Education?”

It would be that time that Starfall walked in. She looked up at the floating stallion and was instantly disappointed. Walking past him in silence she made her way to the kitchen.

Astro followed her in and walked over to the crate. “What did they send us?” He reached in and pulled out his barde. A photo fell out. Yards couldn't be sure, but it sure seemed like he blushed even more red before quickly shoving it out of site.

“What was that?”

“Oh, just the girls...”

“Well, we should give it to them.” Shining pulled the note away and looked at it. He blushed too and then tossed it into the crate. “Oh.” was all he said.

Toffee trotted over to the crate, curious as to what they were so embarrassed about.

“No, no. It's not for you. It's from our other two team members.” Astro positioned himself between the librarian and the crate. Toffee gave him a condescending smile before reaching inside. She looked at the picture and turned a bright red. “They, they know I'm not into mares, so they like to tease me over it.” Toffee pushed the photo to the bottom of the crate. She pulled out the other set of armor. It was a Lunari design, but this one had the gold coloration of Solari armor.

“I'll go help Starfall try this on.” She quickly disappeared into the kitchen.

Shining put the lid back on the crate and rolled out a series of plans on top of it. He rotated them and Yards so he'd be able to see. “We've got six hours to come up with a plan, then we're going to turn in and come at this right before dawn. Yards, let's find the weak points.”

They began to look over the plans. There weren't any real weak points. Missile silos were designed to take direct hits from flak and anti-armor guns. If they collapsed it completely then it would feed the smooze and allow it to take over the whole city. They poured over the blueprints, page by page, feeding ideas and tactics back and forth. Eventually a smell began to distract them. It seemed like the girls had whipped up something. They came in carrying cake pans.

“Nachos?” Starfall carried two pans in. She was wearing her new armor. It fit well. The yellow tint complementing her indigo hide with strong contrasts in a sky blue color, including the star on her chest strap.

The pans full of nachos they were carrying were cheesey, with black and kidney beans, bell peppers, onions, jalapenos, tomatoes and a quick garnish of chopped lettuce. “I figured you boys would like some hoof food while you work. Snacks are my specialty.”

“Looks good.” Astro told her.

“Yeah, it helps when you've got somepony as patient as Toffee here to stir the cheese sauce.” She gave her accomplice a smile as she carried in two more pans.

“You know,” Yards started thinking out loud, “It's basically a shell. The exterior has been reinforced. The interior is left soft and spongy to basically allow for movement and shock absorption. Now, it's got a limited range of movement and it's mostly an 'in and out' motion.” He wanted to stab himself for oversimplifying it like this for the lay. “If we torsion it inside, sorry 'stir it up', then we should be able to collapse it in, while leaving the shell. It would fill with smooze, but we could contain it all inside. If all goes to the worse case scenario.”

“How would we get it to spin on the inside?”

“We plant here, here, and here. That should leave these remaining supports at an odd enough angle that it torques them while they collapse. But it'll kill all of us. Let's just use this as a 'Plan C'.”

“What's Plan A?” Astro asked with a mouthful of cheese sauce.

“Well, it's all a big misunderstanding, we talk it out,” he looked over at Starfall, “and everypony goes away alive and happy.”

“So what's the most likely?” Shining asked.

“Plan B? I recommend fire, and lots of it.”

“So, how do we set fire to clouds?”

“Yeah, that's not the hard part. The hard part is how do we set fire to clouds without also setting fire to us. I mean I could whip up some lithium bombs and kaboom!”

“Incendiary rounds,” answered Messer.

The other stallions nodded in agreement with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

“Think you can get them, 'Shiny Pants'?”

“Do you want to go back up in the air?”

Yards feigned indignation. “So what's your plan?” he asked while licking beans he just noticed off his hoof.

“We head out in the morning. Messer and Toffee will head to this point, Astro and Star head to this point and we'll take this point. Plant the charges, rendezvous here. Then we'll advance to this area where they've most likely got the lab. Be on the lookout for paperwork. We need to know how far they've gotten and, Celestia forbid, where they've shipped the smooze to. Everypony understand?” He swept their eyes, making contact and ensuring their understanding. “Alright, mares, study the map while we're gone. I'll get us the special ammo, come back and we'll take a turn with it.”

“So you want me to finish the bombs?”

“No, I told you to study the map.” Shining gave him a sly grin as he walked out the door.

“I hate that pony so much,” Yards growled under his breath.

Starfall walked over beside him. “Okay, that was definitely an attack from him.”

“I need air.” He walked outside. The air was, just, so thin, and humid on top of summer humidity. He sat down on the cloud porch and looked up at the sky. The afternoon sun was beaming down onto him. She owed him. Toffee walked up behind him.

“Are you okay?”

“No.” He hung his head, but closed his eyes so he couldn't see the ground. “I don't have any control. I can't control the situation, I can't control my anger.” He rubbed his eyes. “And I'm scared for you two. I screwed up. I should have been training you girls. When we get out of this, I'm going to do better. I promise.”

She laughed. “Oh please. You're not the only one in this situation.”

“You're a librarian and, a waitress, being put in a paramilitary instance. Have you even ever fired a gun?”

“Well...no.”

“Exactly, yet you're about to be sent to storm a military base. Doesn't that-grrr!” He stomped the clouds in frustration. He should be in a hospital, not here.

“Yeah, it terrifies me. I don't know what to do. I've never read anything about this. But you know what? The Princess believes in me. Both of them. If they believe in me, then why can't you?”

Yards opened his mouth to argue, then stopped. Slowly he closed his mouth and deflated. “I-I do believe in you. You have the potential to be an Elemental, but even they aren't invincible.” He walked by and quickly kissed her cheek. “Just promise me one thing? Please don't pull that whole 'we may not live through tomorrow' line?”

She smiled at the stallion then blushed slightly. “Actually I was thinking 'wanna go make an alicorn?'”

He looked at her in disbelief.

“Well, I just figured,” she started to fidget with her braided mane, “what would Delta say?”

Yards smiled at her then walked back into the small house to see Starfall intently staring at nothing. Clearly she had no idea what she was looking at. He walked around the crate to the other side as Toffee walked up beside her. “Alright girls; let me show you some breaching tactics that might help you survive.”