Just a thought, I'm considering on doing a sequel to this so, let me know if I should or shouldn't. Any other suggestions help as well.

who the hell is Princess Cadence?!

383797 Are you trolling? http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Cadence

383817 honestley im not...i dont troll

383911 Well then. She's Princess Celestia's niece and she's canon. Other then that did you enjoy the story?

383917 sure did. I spotted a few grammar mistakes but i like it

383964 Grammar? I'll fix that later. Thanks.

383972 by grammar i mean: Missing words, minor spelling mistakes good day

Not that i want to interfere your conversation but i just wanted to point out that i will read this story right this instant and that i will inform you about my cognitive attitude towards this transcription good sir

386130 If you could give your attitude to the story that would be nice if you don't mind.

Honestly: I really don't know what to say about the Fic. The characters were portrayed fine and it seems as if you have put a lot of effort and thought into the story.
However there were a few things that didn't let me enjoy the story as any other well writen story. First of all: it is too short. I know that many readers of clopficts want to get to the action but the steamy part has a much greater impact if you develop a relationship between the chracters that actually explains their behavoir. Although you have put effort into creating belivable characters you could have done so much more.
The Idea of Luna sacraficing herself for her best friend was very touching idea but again it came kind of rushed. You could have gone in depth with the feelings and development that drives her to this extreme action.

The other thing is the choice of characters. I just cannot imagine Princess Celestia being lustfull and stuff, she is more like a god figure to me. But again thats just my opinion. Maybe I'm too heavily influenced by Crowleys stories.

Bottomline if you want to continue writing short steamy fics you defenitely got the idea but if you want to shift more into the romance-steamy teritory I'd suggest you read one or two mature labeled fics by Crowley
Cheers

389936 Thanks! After writing this I was actually considering on extending it or making it multiparts and I'm working on a second chap of it right now. I rushed it a bit because I was bored I guess. I wanted to experiment. As for length, I'll probably revise this story and add in the second chapter but like I said this was just a side project, a break from my 15 chapter story. Thanks for the feedback though.