Big Mac's Journey to Nightmare City

by cheesemeister

Infighting

“You idiot! Look what you did!” the seared Rainbow Slash snarled as she fluttered to the ground, trying to put out the sparks on her wings.

Trixie fully expected the full brunt of the wicked Pegasus pony’s wrath to be turned on her. Instead, Rainbow Slash turned an accusatory hoof to General Scarity.

“Don’t blame me if you can’t get out of the way fast enough!” Scarity huffed. “I was only trying to help.”

“As always, you’re no help at all, General Prissy Hooves,” Rainbow Slash snapped. “You’d rather spend your time primping yourself to impress the latest Stallion Du Jour than fighting the battle to maintain disharmony in Nightmare City.”

“You know, General Clumsy Wings, I’ve had just about enough of your crummy attitude!” General Scarity shot back. “You think you’re so tough. Well, I’ll bet that in a hoof to hoof combat on the ground, there’s no way you can hold your own.”

“I’ll take that bet,” Rainbow Slash thundered.

“Without your wings?” Scarity sneered.

“I can beat you with both wings and one hoof tied behind my back!” Rainbow Slash snorted.

Meanwhile, after slipping in a puddle of mud while trying to catch Dirt Clod and Wooden Spork, General Apple Doom and General Blacklight Gloom started to argue.

“Can’t you even catch an insolent little earth pony, you uncoordinated Alicorn?” Apple Doom demanded.

“Well, I don’t see you doing a particularly good job of it yourself, you overrated hayseed,” Blacklight Gloom spat, flinging the mud from her face into Apple Doom’s face.

“You know something, Princess Blacklight Gloom—and I use the term ‘Princess’ very loosely in your case,” Apple Doom expounded. “I didn’t think it was possible, but those wings of yours haven’t done a darn thing but make you one whole heck of a lot clumsier. In all my days, I’ve never seen such a clod. You’re lucky that you were Nightmare Moon’s teacher’s pet, ‘cause you wouldn’t have lasted a day down on the farm!”

“Well, you’re lucky that Princess Nightmare Moon had need for your family’s rotten apples,” Blacklight Gloom shot back. “Because you and your kin aren’t good at anything but growing inedible crops!”

“You take that back!” Apple Doom screeched as she sprang at Blacklight Gloom. The two mares began to wrestle.

“Flutterdeath, get those fillies!” Stinky Pie ordered. “I need to grind their bones to make my bread!”

General Flutterdeath stopped midflight. She turned her wrath on General Stinky Pie.

“You know something?” the malevolent yellow Pegasus hissed. “I am sick and tired of taking orders from you, you chaotic pink lump of half-baked dough! We are peers on paper, but in reality, I am your superior, and from now on, you will take orders from me.”

“Like fun I will!” Stinky Pie countered. “Do you think you can take me on, you snake-voiced, donkey-faced, bat-winged bumbler? If it wasn’t for me, you’d have been grounded long ago! You’d rather sit around pulling legs off ants and wings off birds than fight a real fight.”

“Since when have you ever fought a real fight?” Flutterdeath demanded. “You’d rather stand around baking inedible baked goods—or should I say baked bads—than fight a real fight!”

“I’m ten times the fighter you’ll ever be!” Stinky Pie protested. “And everyone loves my cooking!”

“I have to admit, your cooking could kill an entire army,” chuckled Flutterdeath. “We could also fling your unpalatable baked goods at them to stop them in their tracks.”

“I have had just about enough of you!” Stinky Pie shrieked.

“Then bring it on!” Flutterdeath roared.

The yellow Pegasus and the pink Earth pony wrestled furiously.

Gilda saw her opportunity. She grabbed a strand of the rain cloud with her talons. She flew around the cloud rapidly, wrapping it in the strand.

“Harmony, open up!” she called.

Gilda squeezed the fresh rain water from the cloud. Harmony opened his mouth to catch the refreshing drops.

At that moment, Princess Nightmare Moon appeared.

“You fools! Stop fighting amongst yourselves and being distracted by these nobodies!” she shrilled. “While you engage in this meaningless roughhousing, the true threat to our power has been released from his bonds. If we don’t stop him, it’s all over!”

Princess Nightmare Moon hurried to stop Harmony from drinking the rain water. She was bowled over by the full force of Gilda slamming down on her from the sky.

“No! Let me go!” the dark Pegasus bellowed as Gilda pinned her to the ground.

Harmony rose up on his hind legs. He shone with a glorious light.

“Celestia, come forth from your exile!” he commanded.