Lets Talk

by odeeyou

happy with what never was

Not too many ponies were awake at two in the morning, but he rather preferred it that way. Silence and solitude had become a very large part of his life over the years. Only speaking when there was something to be said.

He wondered sometimes if he even remembered how to be social anymore.

He wondered if he even wanted to.

By no means was he a shut in or a recluse, he just placed his responsibilities above everything else in his life. Like he thought his father would have wanted; but it never stopped that soft and melodious whisper in the back of his mind. The one that said ‘maybe’ and ‘some day’ and ‘what if…’

With a soft sigh, he picked up the fiddle at his feet and drew the bow across the strings. Closing his eyes, he painted a mental picture… and let the music flow.

If you were to try and describe it in words, it might sound sad; heart clenching; encompassing and mournful. Those words could never do justice though. Words can never accurately describe music that moves the soul.

When he was done, he looked up at the night sky. At least an hour had passed. He sighed and stood up. He’d best get a few hours of sleep before the day.

He startled when he saw a figure sitting in front of him.

Applejack sat and looked at him like she were about to bawl her eyes out, and he winced slightly. Heart Songs weren’t only sung and sometimes depending on the song did more than touch the ears.

Before he could blink AJ wrapped him in a hug before composing herself and sitting next to him.

AJ looked up at her brother with something in her eyes that he couldn’t quite place. “Ah aint hurd you play since ‘fore Maw and Paw left us.” She spoke softly.

“Nnope.”

They sat like that in silence for a few minutes. He didn’t want to do this right now, but he supposed that the conversation had been a long time coming.

“How come?” She continued to look up at him and he could already tell from her expression that she wouldn’t leave this alone.
He snorted a soft chuckle and ruffled her hair under her hat. The same hat Paw had once placed on his head. The same one he’d placed on her head. The same one she would place on Applebloom’s head if she wanted it. Filly was darn right partial to that bow.

“I suppose… ah aint got much time anymore. Just keep practice. But I always play fer their anniversary.” He pointed his bow to the far corner of the orchard, where a several stone slabs stood underneath a wild crab.

They sat there looking at their parents for a moment before AJ looked at him again. While he was in no way dishonest she could tell there was more to it than that.

He chuckled again and gave her a melancholy smile. “You remember when you were little an Applebloom was just born? ‘Fore I got my cutie mark?”

She nodded her head.

“Don’t know how well you r’member. I learned the fiddle at Maw’s feet. All I wanted was the play that fiddle. Wanted to join a band. Play fer ponies. Shin digs an weddings… an funerals…” He closed his eyes and he could still see his Maw smiling at him encouragingly. “I was set on makin that my cutie mark. Paw would laugh but Maw would just smile and say if I wanted it bad enough, to chase it and grab it with all four hooves if that’s what it took.”

AJ gave a sniff and a few tears escaped as both remembered those simpler and innocent days of their youth.
“After the accident… I knew I had to take respon… respons… gosh durn it… I had to take charge!” He finished forcefully in annoyance. AJ guffawed at his lapse in words and he gave her a mock glare.

After a moment to compose himself he continued. He looked down at her and spoke. “Mah dream wasn’t as important as mah family. So I took charge of running the farm. Started teachin you everything Paw taught me.”

His eyes hardened. “But it wasn’t enough.” He reached a hoof around her to give her a side hug. “I didn’t want mah sisters or Granny to want fer nothing. I had to be the best, like Paw would’a wanted. Ah MADE it my special talent. This farm.”

Now he looked down at his fiddle and gave another sigh. “But I always feel like I let Maw down. Not chasin’ mah dream like she always said to.”

AJ’s shoulders began to shake as she silently began to sob. “Im sorry…” She started and wiped her nose with a hoof. “I didn’t know. I should’a tried-“

“Hey now!” He gave her a small shake. “None of that frum you. It was mah choice. Ah made it and Ah don’t regret nun of it. Not even a second.”

“Ah…” AJ started and paused to control her sob, but still had tears in her eyes as she looked up at her brother. “Ah could start takin more charge of the farm-“

“No.” He interrupted her forcefully and forsaking his usual negative response. “That’d take away all yer free time with yer friends.” That and he didn’t want anyone in his family to have to make the difficult decision he’d already made. “Sides. Yer the element ‘o’ honesty. Who’d save Equestria… again… if you were too busy workin the farm?”

They both gave a small chuckle at that and fell back into a brief silence.

“But what ‘bout you? How’dya do it? Run the farm an still got time fer friends?”

He snorted in a sad sort of ironic amusement. “An how often do ya see me socializin when I aint workin?” She seemed to deflate in front of him and he winced internally. He reckoned his sister never really understood till now what all he’d given up for his family. Now he wished he’d never said nothin’.

“Surely some time ya might-“

He shook his head and cut her off again. “Nnope.” He looked out over the orchard towards the house. “Grannysmith’ll be gone soon.” A painful truth they both knew all too well. “Someday you’ll meet some Stallion. No guar-an-tee he’ll want ta work the farm. Shoot, ya might want ta start yer own homestead someday.” He gave her a playful nudge when she blushed. “And ah don’t think Applebloom wants to farm apples all er life.”

AJ was starting to look desperate. “What ‘bout the rest of the family? Couldn’t one ‘o’ them…”

He shook his head, this time wondering if his sister would ever accept that this was his decision and that he was far from unhappy with it. “They got their own lives ta live, AJ. Their own dreams to chase.” He stood up and carefully put the fiddle back in its case. “Wouldn’t be right ta ask another ta give up their dream fer mine.”

Because sometimes, that’s all they ever were.

A dream.

“There’s gotta be something ah can do…” AJ’s demeanor became stubborn.

That stubbornness in her eyes was all Paw’s right there. He stopped to look his sister carefully in the eyes… and then ruffled her hair under her hat since he knew it annoyed her. He gave her a genuine smile. “Ya already do AJ.”

He laughed softly as the confused expression on her face as he walked inside the house.

She’d figure it out eventually.

He might be a lot of things, but first and foremost…

He is Big Macintosh and he is an apple farmer.

Comments

[rogueunicorn]

The title and summary were pretty lame to be honest, but I felt compelled to click on it anyways, and I was pleasantly surprised.

[Numb To Nothing]

4017083 This was my experience as well. Some spicing up needs to be done.

Also, title need an apostrophe so it says "let's"

[nutcase4real]

Well done have a like

[QuilliamPenn]

I enjoyed this
You get my like and fave~