• Published 19th Feb 2014
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Pony Story - lunabrony



A series of interlocking alternate universe parody stories involving Rarity trying to find her place in the world. If things don't get completely out of hoof first. PARODY of my three favorite franchises woven into a new timeline.

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1.1 - Magic School

Life as a pony was not always the easiest thing in the world. Life as a foster filly shuffled around from home to home was even more miserable. Rarity was barely into her teenage years, and had already been placed with seven different families. It wasn't that all of them were cruel or unloving, far from it in fact. It came down to the simple fact that none of them wanted a freak for a daughter.

Rarity sighed, rubbing the extension growing from her forehead that had been a pain in her flank since birth. It had always appeared to be a natural extension of her skull, didn't hurt, didn't cause her any formidable problems. But none of the other ponies that she'd seen had one. Not one single pony in her life had she ever seen with a similar case, and the unusual appendage had attracted more than a few stares of the course of her fillyhood.

Sometimes it felt strange, sometimes when she woke unexpectedly in the middle of the night she could swear that it had stopped glowing only moments before, as if her body was the refrigerator and her eyes were the door. She'd never been able to fully catch it doing anything unusual, but whenever she became angry or upset or sad, strange things tended to happen. And she blamed the thing on her head.

Her current foster parents were a fairly young, miserable couple. Blueblood, a high profile CEO at a booming production facility, spent most of his time in Canterlot on business trips. He was rarely home, and Rarity rarely saw him. But when she did, he was frequently so busy that she was lucky if he remembered her name.

That meant most of her time was spent in the company of Diamond Tiara, a miserably bitter mare who's only goal in life seemed to be making Rarity absolutely miserable.

The last three hours had been spent meticulously scrubbing every inch of the floor of her home, using nothing but a dirty rag wrapped around a hoof, a brush in her mouth, and a leaking bucket. Diamond Tiara came to check on her every so often, on more than one occasion tracking fresh mud across the floor for the sole reason of making Rarity scrub it again.

"Aren't you done yet?" Diamond snapped. "You haven't even touched the other items on your list, and I'm not going to go out of my way to provide food for a lazy pony who can't do a simple job correctly. Hurry up!"

Rarity clenched her teeth harder to prevent herself from saying something she surely would regret, the rage building up inside her and only seeming to subside as one of the bedroom doors slammed shut on its own.

Diamond Tiara cringed a bit, and glared at her unfortunate victim. "And you can fix that blasted door while you're at it, that's the third time this week it's done that." Seemingly satisfied, the mare stormed off.

Rarity threw the brush in the bucket with such force that soapy water flew in all directions. She'd had quite enough, and was determined to run away from this awful place. Surely there had to be rules about this. She disliked the thought of going back to the orphanage. She was getting to an age where it was remarkably difficult to become selected, all the applicants went for the foals, the cute ones...

Her hoof slowly reached up to touch the growth on her head.

The normal ones.

Rarity glanced in both directions, intent on leaving this place for good. She snuck off to the back door, not even bothering to take anything with her. It's not like she owned anything, There had been a time when she had saved up bits she'd found lying in the street, and it'd taken her months of scavenging to afford even the most basic outfit.

But Diamond Tiara had discovered her purchases, and burned them, shattering her confidence and dreams of ever having her own designer line. As Rarity swung open the door, she found herself face to face with an owl who was hovering outside the door. It had a scroll in its beak, and Rarity immediately shut the door again. Filthy animal. It could have gotten inside!

"What was that noise?!" Diamond Tiara demanded. "Don't make me come out there!"

"Just trying to keep an owl from getting inside!" Rarity called. "Disgusting thing!" She felt bad saying it, but knew it would get her off the hook for now.

"Good! Keep it outside!" That was about as much of a thank you as she'd ever gotten.

Rarity struggled to make her way to the front of the small house, opening the door there. Again she found herself face to face with the owl, who seemed to be waiting patiently for her wherever she went.

"Stop following me!" She hissed.

"Who?"

"Me! Stop it! You're gonna get me in trouble, and of all the possible times, this is the worst possible one!"

The owl gave her a look of reproach, and Rarity once more closed the door in the owl's face. She wasn't getting out that way either. She made a run for her room, which was barely more than an unused bathroom, and bolted inside, closing the door and trying to get her heart to stop pounding.

"You look upset," came a voice from behind her.

Whirling around, the young mare prepared to fight for her life. Her eyes fell on the biggest, reddest stallion she'd ever seen, which must have dwarfed the others by several feet in comparison.

"Who do you think you are?!" Rarity hissed. "Get out of here at once, before I-"

"Cause something strange and unexpected?" The stallion asked. "Little things, you can't quite explain?"

Rarity was caught off guard by that. "How did-"

"You're not alone, Rarity. Haven't you read any of the scrolls you've received?"

"I never got any... but that still doesn't explain any why you're here! Out, out at once!"

The stallion frowned. "What do you mean you never got any? You've been getting owls for weeks."

"I never get anything. Diamond Tiara burns my mail. I don't suppose you have any extra on you?"

He shook his head. "Nnnope."

"What about that owl that was outside?"

"He has a phobia of having doors closed in his face," the stallion said. "You probably scared him off. Is that all?"

"No! Unless you have some completely predictable piece of life changing news, if you don't leave at once, I'll call the police!"

The stallion fixed his eyes on her, and spoke, very gently, very quietly.

"You're a unicorn, Rarity."