We're Not Heroes

by BronieMan305

Magical Mishap

Superheroes, people who use their powers to help the world for the greater good. Supervillains, powered men and women who use their powers for personal gain completely uncaring to who they harm to get what they want. We bring you to the home of the Mistress of black magic Mary, and her powered friends gather to meet her. They are neither of the before mentioned types of people, as they frankly don’t give a shit. These are our “heroes” the Slacker Six, and they’re about to face a challenge they’ve never faced before.

“What could they want with you after all these months Sensei?” asked a young teen with blond hair and blue eyes in brown robes facing his Sensei, Jacob a tall teen with light brown hair and grey eyes who is known simply as Jacob. (Not heroes remember?)

“Well I’m not really sure Tim, but hey they can’t have a reunion without king goofball can they?” replied Jacob with a knock on the door. The door swung open with a creek revealing the inside of the old mansion that appeared to be abandoned.

“Creepy, does Mary actually live here Sensei?” asked the young Tim.

“Yeah she does Tim, she loves being as creepy as possible, though trust me she is about as harmless as any of us,” Jacob told him.

They walk in heading towards a back room where a pale light was coming from. “But you massacred a herd of charging bulls single handedly….” Tim said nervously.

“Like I said she’s as harmless as any of us.” Bursting through the door Jacob yelled a cheerful, “Hey guys how y’all doin?” Which got him looks from the three people already in the room.

“Hey Jacob god to see you,” said Hunter, was oldest of the group at 19, with dark brown hair, blue eyes, and glasses, a katana strapped to his back, “how is it you are the only person who my hyper intuition doesn’t warn me when you’re about to do something?”

Jacob replied, “Told you before, must be ‘cause I’m so random. How are you Drake?”

Drake was sitting in the corner, reading some note when he looked up, brown hair shining in the light as his brown eyes stared at them with a general seriousness for some unknown reason, his bow and quiver sitting next to him as his dagger hangs off of his hip. He spoke in with a monotone seeming youthful and old at the same time as he said, “I’m doing as good as usual, good to see you, any idea why we’re here?”

“Nope!” Jacob replied with a smile. Just the Jacob is hugged from behind. “How are you doing Sam?” He said without turning around. Sam, a shorter girl with brown hair and eyes and bronze skin was looking at Jacob as he turned around her glasses glinting in the light. “I'm doing good, been working on a way to cure cancer,” she told him.

“Wow, you really are an overachiever, not to mention genius,” Jacob said as he flopped on the couch.

Just then Mary walked in from the next room in her usual black coat with a green pentagram that matches her green eyes, her long black hair falling down to her waist. “Hello!” she said with a childish innocent voice, “great that you could make it.” Tim walked in after he saw her come in from the other side and remained quiet.

Jacob perked up and said “Guys meet Tim, he’s my new apprentice.” They all told him hello as he gave a quiet ‘hi’ and sat by Jacob. “I am teaching him the arts in those ancient forbidden scrolls me and Hunter found, I only needed the ones that match my style, and Hunter only studied them for the sword techniques.”

Hunter suddenly looked nervous as he said, “Which ones have you been teaching him?”

“I taught him Scrolls A, C, H, and N under division 4.” “Those are very dangerous scrolls Jacob; you better know what you’re doing,”

Suddenly there was a screechy yowl as the last person walked in. He was wearing a blue jacket and leather pants with shoulder length black hair and purple eyes. He finishes yawning and sits down as Jacob groans loudly. “You invited him?”

Mary responded with, “Sorry Jacob I know you don’t like Ian but I needed all of us for this.” Drake asked, “You gonna tell us what we’re doing now miss magic?” She nodded as she walked into the next room and waved for them to follow and everyone walked in. On the floor was a large pentagram with circles on the corners. “I’ve been practicing a spell to open portals and to do it I need someone to be on each corner, but there were two problems. One was the obvious fact that most people aren’t exactly willing to help with dark magic, though the second was more important. The magic is at such a high concentration it would... uh... kill any normal person.”

“So you using us expecting our powers to keep us safe, actually pretty smart,” said Hunter.

“You guys forgetting that I'm only resistant to a human degree right?” Drake pointed out.

“Unless we piss you off, and I’d say the pain would do that,” said Sam.

“Good point,” Drake responded.

“So this is gonna hurt?” said Ian.

“Won’t bug me,” said Jacob, “God bless the inability to feel pain.”

While the rest sat on a corner Drake faced Mary and asked, “And if we refuse?”

Suddenly Mary’s eyes glowed red and in a demonic voiced answered, “I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!” then she giggled and stood in the middle of the pentagram as Drake shrugged and sat down.

“MOVERTUS UNIM!” Mary exclaimed as a green energy began encircling them all as they began to react each with their own abilities. Hunter was first to react as a thin light blue aura surrounded him with a slight groan as he concentrated trying to ignore the pain. Drake was gasping and groaning as he began looking grim and his eyes got red and strained. Ian’s eyes began glowing purple as his nails extended into claws and he crouched tightly straining as a purple tail grew from the back of his waist. Jacob unlike the others looked rather calm, unable to feel pain as his chest bulged and stubble grew over his exposed skin and his face began taking on canine qualities with narrow features, an extended nose and his teeth became sharp.

Sam was groaning and grimacing with pain and a portal opened as she screamed and passed out. The portal began shaking and deforming as they were all sucked through it. “SENSEI!” yelled Tim as he saw them get sucked through as he jumped through the purple vortex behind them as it snapped shut behind him. He was flung hard into the ground.

With a groan he stood up and saw Jacob standing next to him with a smirk. “You can’t land better than that? Tuck and roll numbskull,” he said holding out a hand.

“Where are we Sensei?” asked Tim.

“Some kind of forest Tim.” Jacob replied.

Somewhere else in the distance Drake was falling fast as he saw the ground below him. He shifted slightly aiming towards the top of a mountain as he smashed into the top crushing through half the mountain and stopped on one knee fist in the ground bruised and bloody. He looked around to realize he got himself stuck in a hole. “Well crap”, he said as he stood up. He looked at his battered body and swung his bow and quiver on his back as he began climbing the side of the ditch.

Ian was falling rapidly towards trees when with a purple energy surrounding him he kicked off the top of a tree then jumped across the treetops until he slowed down enough to jump down. He leaned against a tree and drifted to sleep to rest for a bit, having used a ton of energy. Just a few hundred yards away Mary was falling, while laughing maniacally. She slammed hard into the ground, and with and oomph quietly giggled, “Oops.”

Hunter was falling towards a lake when he quickly pulled out his katana and began spinning at high speeds slowing himself, hitting the lake like he merely jumped in. After swimming to the side and getting out he looked around. “Where are the others?” he said to himself. He got on one knee as his eyes glowed a pale blue as various strings of colors appeared in his vision. He looked to the east and saw a grass green aura next to a red aura. “There are Jacob and Tim,” he muttered. He looked south and could see a blue-green aura, and a purple aura, though they were not near each other. “Mary and Ian.” He turned west to see a gray aura apparently inside a mountain. “Heh Drake,” he said with a smirk. He turned north to see a rainbow of auras and a dim brown one falling towards it quickly. “It must be a town, and Sam’s falling fast better go help her.”

Sam was falling high speed when a purple magic surrounded her and she was stopped just above the ground. She looked around to see a small village filled with…ponies? “W-where am I?” she said. “You’re in Ponyville,” said a purple unicorn standing next to a pink pony and an orange one. “Hi! I’m Pinkie-Pie you look hurt are you okay? What are you? Hey whoareyouidontknowthatmeansyour anewfriendyayijustlovemeetinganewpersonyaaaaywegottathrowapartydoyoulikepartiesiloveparties!” Sam grabbed her head in pain. “An ahm Applejack,” said the orange one. Sam passed out.