JAWS & FINS

by Octavia_Melody

Harpooned

The following morning, Twilight and Rarity went out to meet Applejack who was already making preparations on her old fishing boat, the Winona. Rarity had her supply carriage attached to her back with all of her diving equipment. Twilight had explained the situation to everypony last night, but was beginning to think nopony had gotten the message.

“Now let’s see here.” Rarity said as she unhitched her carriage, opened the doors, and levitated the items, “We have scuba gear, a shark cage, harpoons, radar, buoyancy barrels, life jackets, a two-way radio, and these delectable lilywurst sandwiches I made for you in these Lady Rara lunchboxes.”

“They didn’t come out of that sea serpent, did they?” Twilight asked, gagging.

“Just what are ya, some kinda half-flanked astronaut?” Applejack jeered, while scraping a knife against the bottom of her hoof.

“I’ll have you know that this is all top-of-the-line shark hunting equipment.” Rarity said proudly, “I paid for it myself. Worth every last bit.”

“Let me see yer hooves.” Applejack said.

“Whatever for, darling?” Rarity wondered.

“Just let me see ‘em.” Applejack demanded, “Hold ‘em up.”

Rarity raised her front hooves as Applejack trotted up and stared her down. The scruffy earth pony spit out some tobacco she had lodged in her jaw and grabbed the hooves of the posh earth pony, who cringed.

“No wear, no tear, no calluses, or scrapes.” Applejack commented, “You’ve been countin’ money all yer life.”

“I refuse to listen to this working class earth pony tripe!” Rarity scoffed, jerking her hooves away and turning up her nose, “I can’t work alongside this...ruffian.”

“Just who do ya think yer callin’ a ruffian, moneybags?!” Applejack argued, “You ain’t never worked a day in yer life!”

“Girls! Girls! Please!” Twilight begged, “Let’s just put aside our differences and embrace the magic of friendship that will help us kill that shark.”

“Heh. You sound like ol’ Princess Tia on tha’ telly-vision.” Applejack remarked, “She’s another hoity-toity unicorn I’d like ta give a piece a my mind.”

“Alicorn.” Twilight corrected.

“Unicorn. Alicorn. Corn on that cob.” Applejack heckled, “All tha’ same ta me.”

Within a matter of minutes, Applejack had cranked up the engines on the Winona and Rarity had loaded all of her gear. Soon enough, the three mares found themselves sailing off into the horizon. Twilight was given the unenviable task of setting a chum line, much to Rarity and Applejack’s amusement. Twilight groaned as she scooped out the chopped blood and guts of the same baby serpent that had been the first suspect of the shark attacks.

“Why can’t you two old sea mules do this?” Twilight complained.

“Cause watchin’ city slickers like you squirm is funny.” Applejack argued.

“She certainly has you there, darling.” Applejack agreed.

“Maybe we should call in the Coast Guard.” Twilight advised, “Isn’t that what you wanted, Rarity?”

“This little fishing expedition was your idea, dear.” Rarity recalled, “If we can’t find the shark by tomorrow, then we’ll bring in the guard.”

“Guard nothin’!” Applejack scoffed with another spit of tobacco, “That shark is mine.”

“We don’t even know if it’s a shark.” Twilight continued, “I know I saw a sea serpent yesterday. What if it’s both? And what about that pirate ship?”

“Ah can handle sharks, ah can handle sea serpents, ah can handle pirates.” Applejack asserted, retrieving a shotgun from the storage chest in front of the helm.

“How are you even holding that thing?” Rarity asked.

“Well, unlike you unicorn folk that can just make ever’thang float around, earth ponies hafta learn ta grip with their hooves.” Applejack explained.

She then loaded two metal slugs into the double barrel with her teeth and cocked the weapon shut. Rarity winced nervously and backed away.

“I think I’m gonna barf.” Twilight said, before vomiting over the side of the boat.

“Don’t go tossin’ yer cookies ever’where.” Applejack said.

“What do you care?” Twilight said, wiping her mouth, “I’m the one that saw that half-eaten filly, not you.”

“Ah’ve seen plenty a’ things in mah time.” Applejack said solemnly.

“And don’t forget that I was the one who examined that poor disc jockey mare.” Rarity reminded them.

“And I was the first responder.” Twilight countered.

“Quit yer bellyachin’, it’s not like we’re chummin’ out horse meat.” Applejack said.

“Might as well be, wouldn’t be any worse....AHHH!!!!!” Twilight screamed as the enormous gray head of a great white burst forth from
the water.

“So it took to that bait after all.” Applejack commented, “Let’s see if ah can hit it.”

The shotgun blast rang out as Applejack pulled the trigger and the bullets splashed into the water.

“You just shot at me!!” Twilight panicked, “And that shark almost bit my hoof clean off!”

“Ah wasn’t anywhere close to ya.” Applejack said as she loaded more rounds.

“Stop firing!” Twilight shouted, “You’ll scare the shark away and we won’t get our chance!”

“Ah’ll hit ‘em.” Applejack assured her, “Just gotta give it some time.”

Applejack fired off another round, this time at a seagull, who was obliterated into bloody bits.

“Yee-haw! Bullseye!” Applejack cheered, tossing her hat into the air.

“You’re certifiable!!” Twilight screamed, “You’re certifiably insane!!”

“I do try my best, chief.” Applejack said with a bow.

The madmare eventually put away the shotgun in favor of cranking up her harpoon. She had a massive spear-and-pulley system welded to the rear of the boat that looked almost like a giant fishing rod. Rarity looked down at the handheld harpoon guns she had brought and for the first time in her life was jealous of an earth pony.

Applejack sat the small metal chair that was bolted to the harpoon and pulled back the spring-loaded lever with her hoof. The chainlink pulley was sprung in place and the long metal spear at the top raised up into the air.

“Just keep chummin’, chief.” Applejack ordered, “That overgrown goldfish is bound to come back up eventually.”

In frustration, Twilight flung the remaining contents of the chum bucket into the water and shrieked again when the great white peeked its head out from the surface a second time.

“That’s it!” Twilight yelped, “I’m going back up to the helm!”

“Terribly sorry, dear.” Rarity apologized, “No more chum duty for you.”

“How generous of you...” Twilight sneered, rolling her eyes.

Applejack released the lever to her giant, spring-loaded harpoon and the spear swiftly darted toward the shark and stabbed about halfway into the creature’s side.

“Yee-haw!!” Applejack shouted victoriously, “Got ‘em! We’ll bleed tha varmit out!”

“That specimen has to be at least twenty feet long.” Rarity observed.

“Twenty-five.” Applejack corrected, “Three tons a’ pure muscle.”

The shark proved its strength as it thrashed about and tried to swim away. Rarity and Twilight cringed as the entire boat shook and splashed around but Applejack enjoyed the fight.

“Keep a move on, lil’ doggie!” she taunted, “You’ll only bleed yurself faster!”

The shark swam away from the boat and ran the chain-link out as far as Applejack had cranked it out from the pulley. Once the chain came to a stopping point where it met the pulley, the chain snapped at the link and the shark dove back under the water, taking the harpoon with it.

“It got away!” Rarity said in astonishment, “And it snapped the chain right in two!”

“He won’t last too long under there.” Applejack assured her, “He’ll bleed to death before suppertime. Speakin’ o’ which, my stomach’s havin’ a rodeo. Why don’t we mosey down into the cabin and break out some grub.”

“A capital idea.” Rarity agreed.