Fixer Upper: A Derpy and Doctor fanfic

by graceyadorable

Opps! My Bad!

“DERPY! STOP. TRYING. TO. HELP!”

It took an awful lot of mishaps to make even Pinkie Pie lose her temper, but….Derpy hung her head, her creamy blonde forelock falling over her teary golden eyes. “I-I’m sorry, I really am, but…”

“You crushed the cake, you burned the cupcakes, you let the ice cream melt, you somehow managed to slop paint all over the couch, you made a hole in my wall when you were trying to put up the banner and accidentally put a nail through your hoof!”

“It was an accident,” Derpy protested quietly, trying not to cry.

Pinkie Pie went on as if she hadn’t spoken. “I sent you into the kitchen to cook, and it’s a disaster! There’s syrup making the floor all sticky, the utensils are everywhere, the smoke alarm’s gone off four times in twenty minutes, you can’t even read a recipe--”

“Pinkie, I--” Derpy tried.

She was cut off again. “You somehow managed to dismantle the microwave, and the only food you didn’t burn was the muffins, but even then you forgot the flour!”

“My bad,” Derpy whispered sheepishly, her head hanging lower and her tail brushing the ground.

“Go help Applejack pick some apples!” Pinkie went on, though she sounded less angry. “She could use a Pegasus, and Rainbow Dash is clearing the sky while Fluttershy is busy with the animals.”

Derpy shook out her flour-covered wings, the feathers sticky with drying chocolate syrup, and took off, flapping out the door in a crooked, lopsided way, bonking her head on the top of the door as she went.

Applejack was pleased to see her. “Howdy there, pard’ner!” She shouted cheerily. “I need an extra pair of hooves to help with these here apples! Gotta get a bunch for that party today, y’know!”

“I’m so excited to see who saved Ponyville before! How come he hasn’t come sooner?” Derpy chirped, getting tangled in the branches and knocking about five apples to the ground.

“Me too. But he’s probably busy with some important stuff,” Applejack said, bucking a tree square in the trunk. Apples fell into the bucket with a staccato thumping that sounded like drumbeats.

“Ooh! You could make music with the apples!” Derpy cried, a crooked grin spreading over her face. “Let me try!”

Before Applejack could say anything, Derpy grabbed the tree in a big bear hug and shook it as hard as she could, the leaves rattling together like microscopic pebbles. The apples certainly came off, but they were quickly covered by a hailstorm of aromatic verdian foliage as every leaf fell off as well.

“Oh….sorry!” Derpy cried, trying to dive and pick up an apple and only managing to crash into the ground in a tangle of legs and wings and fluffy blonde hair.

Applejack blinked, then smiled. “Don’t worry about it, sugarplum. There’s plenty of other trees.” Trotting over to one, she said, “Now, watch me.” She nailed the tree with a mighty buck, the sound echoing around the whole of Sweet Apple Acres, and like ruby red rain, the sweet fruit came loose and plunked into buckets. “See? Ya gotta kick the tree, not shake it.”

“Oh! Okay!” Derpy cried, then bounded over to a giant tree with branches so heavy with apples that they were dragged toward the ground. Lunging forward onto her forelegs, she thrust out her heels in a heavy buck--that completely missed the tree and hit a bucket of freshly collected apples, spilling them all over the ground.

“Oops! My bad!” Derpy cried, starting forward to refill the bucket, but Applejack stopped her.

“Just go buck down some more apples, sugarcube,” she said patiently. “And don’t worry about it. I’ve kicked over my fair share of buckets, too.”

Feeling better because she wasn’t the only one who made such mistakes, Derpy cantered over to another tree. She braced her hind legs up against it and then kicked hard, and this time she didn’t miss the tree. What did miss, however, were all those apples. Not a single one made it into the bucket.

Derpy couldn’t seem to do anything right, and finally, after she somehow managed to push a wheelbarrow into a lake, Applejack came up to her and said, “Um, look, Derpy, why don’t you go help Rarity? It can’t be easy with all them dresses, I reckon.”

“Okay!” Derpy trilled, pretending to be enthusiastic, but she knew Applejack’s motivation. She just kept getting in the way.

Flapping off through Ponyville, Derpy landed on Rarity’s doorstep, tripped, and toppled over. Getting up again and shaking her head and wings, she tapped on the door with one hoof and waited.

A flustered-looking Rarity opened the door. There were pins in her mouth and a tape measure wound around one leg. Her luscious purple mane was frizzy and tangled, and her normally flawless makeup job was smudged. She definitely needed some help, all right.

“Oh! Um, Derpy, hello, can I help you? Do you like your dress?”

“Oh, I love it!” Derpy beamed. “It’s the most prettiest thing I’ve ever owned!”

“Well, I’m certainly glad,” Rarity said with a strained smile. “But if you’ll excuse me, I really have no time to spare….”

“Applejack sent me to help you!” Derpy told her, eyes sparkling.

“She...she did?” Why? She knows that Derpy is the clumsiest pony for miles! I can’t have her in here! She’d ruin everything! “Well, I’m almost done with the last dress, so…..why don’t you go find Twilight or Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy? I’m sure they’re more in need of help than I am.” Rarity gave an airy laugh and closed the door quickly.

Derpy’s ears drooped as she walked slowly away. She had seen the inside of the shop. Half-cut dresses, dresses that needed to be hemmed, fabric to fold, ribbons to tie...the place was an absolute catastrophe….Rarity may need her help, but she wouldn’t accept it.

Rainbow Dash was flying around, looping the loop and doing barrel rolls, spinning through loops in the clouds and creating a red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple blur in the cerulean backdrop of the endless sky. Derpy watched, wide-eyed, as the blue Pegasus bucked, slammed, and whammied the clouds right out of the sky, sending them in every direction like beautiful white balls of fluffy. Derpy stretched out her wings and jumped up into the air. “Hi, Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow Dash looked down. “Hi, Derpy.”

“Rarity sent me to help you clear the sky!” Derpy stated, and if it were possible for somebody to bounce up and down in midair, she was doing exactly that.

Rainbow Dash looked around at all the clouds. “I could clear this sky in twenty seconds,” she bragged, “but sure, you can come up here.”

Derpy flew a lopsided loop-the-loop and kicked her forelegs in excitement. “Oh boy!” She rocketed off, then whirled in the air and bucked a heavy cloud. Unfortunately, it didn’t explode harmlessly like the others did. A lightning bolt shot out and hit Derpy, sending her cartwheeling head over heels, making her mane frizz out even worse than Rarity’s and making her tail look like an electrified hedgehog.

“Woo! That was some shock, huh Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow Dash closed her eyes. “Just get on with it, Derpy.”

“Okey-dokey!” Derpy flew back in for another go, and another bolt shot out, this time shooting right between Rainbow Dash’s ears.

“Yikes! Careful, Derpy! Watch it!”

“Sorry!” Derpy flapped awkwardly over to her. “Can you show me how you do it?”

“Watch the master at work!” Rainbow Dash grinned smugly, then soared off, slamming her hind feet into a cloud with somewhat unnecessary ferocity.
Derpy tried to copy her, but the cloud just burst into five littler ones.
“Jeez, Derpy! Haven’t you ever cleared a sky before?”
“I just don’t know what went wrong!” Derpy chirped, bouncing up and down in midflight.
“And no pony’s ever let me clear the sky before!”

“Gee, I wonder why,” Rainbow Dash muttered.

“I’m so excited to see the new colt!” Derpy cried, flipping onto her back and flying at another cloud. “Is it true he’s really saved Ponyville before?”

“Yes,” Rainbow Dash answered, seeming exasperated. “It was way before any of us were born, when the mayor was just a filly herself.”

“The mayor told me he saved my mother when she was gonna have me!” Derpy beamed, accidentally electrocuting herself again.

Rainbow Dash chose not to say the smart remark that she was thinking at the moment. Instead, she said, “Derpy, you keep zapping yourself, and I don’t really need your help anyway. Go help Fluttershy instead!”

Derpy stopped bouncing up and down on top of a raincloud. “But…..”

“Go!” Rainbow Dash ordered. “Go help her round up a bunch of rabbits or catch some birds or something.”

Derpy stared at the ground, far, far below, as she slowly flew away, rejected yet again.

Author's Note:

First Chapter so far! I have more to come!

Comments

[Tennis Match Fan]

"Hi Derpy! You're clumsy, so I'm going to pass you off to my best friends and let them carry the burden!"