Don't blink, Pink!

by monkeylegs

Time and Relative Dimensions in Space

"What? It was a wild guess, I really don't even know what a TARDIS is!" Pinkie squeed.

Suddenly, a known mailmare went flying through a door in the box,

"AHHH!" The three yelled, attempting to dodge out of the way before she crashed into Pinkie.

"Sorry! I forgot how to fly." Derpy said, getting off of Pinkie. "Thanks for breaking my fall!"

"Wait, Ditzy Doo? How did you get here?" Inkie asked.

"Oh, ponies call me Derpy Hooves! And I got here sometime ago, I forgot, and I got here through the front door and I gasped and said 'Its bigger on the inside!' I think I was a filly when I first got here. The doctor likes fishsticks and custard a lot." Derpy said.

"The doctor?" The three asked at the exact same time. "Jinx! You guys owe me a cookie." Pinkie said.

"The doctor is a timepony, this is his TARDIS. It crashed earlier and hes trying to find his bowtie in the library, I think it fell in the pool."

"The pool? I thought you said he was looking in the library." Blinkie said, confused.

"The pool is in the library." Derpy explained.

"Wait! I guessed this was a TARDIS! Whats a TARDIS?" Pinkie asked.

"It means time and relative dimensions in space, and its bigger on the inside." A brown pony wearing a bowtie and fez said, walking in.

"Oh, hi Doctor!" The bubbly grey pegasus said, turning.

"Hi!" Pinkie said, waving.

"Nice bow tie." Inkie said.
"Yeah, bowties are cool." The doctor said, looking at the tie.

"How is this bi-" Blinkie didn't get to finish.

"-gger on the inside? Timelord technology, it simply looks like a blue box because the chameleon circuit broke and I don't wanna fix it. I mean, I totally CAN, but it looks really good like that." He said.

Blinkie just stood there with a confused expression.

"Okay, so, I'm probably and most definetly wrong, but I'll make a wild guess here. Your an alien from a strange planet named Gallopfrey that was destroyed in a huge war and this is a spaceship from that planet and your the last of your kind and you go around saving stuff and Derpy is your companion?" Pinkie said, doubtfully.

"Absolutely correct. How did you know that?" The doctor said.

"Well first, my mum was from Gallopfrey, and two, I'm really good at guessing it seems." Pinkie said.

"Gallopfrey?"

"Yup! Its called Gallopfrey, isn't it?"

"Gallifrey."

"Oh..Does your spaceship thingie travel through dimensions, then?"

"It can, sometimes. I don't know how to make it do it though, it just sort of does it sometimes, like when I regenerated into a pony."

Pinkie's two sisters just stared confused at the two's conversation.

"Regenerated into a pony? You didn't always look like that?"

"Nope, this is my.. I think 16th regeneration. A few 500 years ago or so I got a new cycle of regenerations, this is my 2nd after that."

"So, gallopfreyans can regenerate?"

"Well, not all of them. Only timelords can."

"I wonder if I'm a timepony. Er, timelord."

"Maybe, probably not, I'd doubt it, but maybe."

"It'd be cool if I was. Anyways, whats with the fez?"

"I like fezzes."

"Okay everypony! This conversation is boring! Doctor, can we go someplace really cool like we do a lot?" Derpy yelled, giving Pinkie a mean look while scooting a bit closer to the Doctor.

"Oh, yeah, wait, would it be okay if-" The doctor began pressing buttons and levers.

"So, where are we going to go?" Blinkie said, imagining a planet made of candy.

"I have no idea, this old thing never goes where I want!" The doctor said.

Inkie looked at the chance of them landing in a star, and simply ignored it hoping theres some strange reason that its bigger on the inside, like this NOT being the inside and that this is another demension and that if they landed in a star they'd be fine.

Comments

[Pump It Up]

Oh.
My.
Celestia.

This is a good idea, but you have your chapter formatting all wrong. So far, everything you've posted should be in one chapter, maybe two at the most. There were errors with homophones, and some odd sentences, along with the paragraph formatting being off sometimes. The parasprite seems unnecessary to me at this moment in the story. You might want to work on the pacing some, and tag the story AU, since it deviates from Pinkie Apple Pie and onwards.

With some polishing, this story could do really good.

[monkeylegs]

3787213 Yeah, I'm no were NEAR a professional writer, and the parasprite was really jsut kind of there for stupid comediac reasons. XD But thanks for the critisiscm so I can do better :P

[Pump It Up]

3787229
You're welcome. Always glad to help! If you need any advice, don't hesitate to PM me. Also, don't be afraid to get someone to bounce ideas off of. That might help some.