It's alive.

Firstly, I'm just glad to see this updating. Not that I want to be demanding or anything, I'm simply happy to see that you're pressing ahead with it.

Secondly, I think this chapter suffers from an overdose of ponies standing around and discussing things. As you say, they're all polite and professional mares, which only exacerbates the problem. Overall I liked it, but I do think it's something to be aware of in future.

And lastly, if you want to get into Terry Pratchett, I find that Men at Arms makes a good first book of his to read.

Nice to see this one update. I'd almost given up hope to see more of it. I agree with 4303928 and your own opinion concerning the dialogue in this chapter. This was not perfect, though not just because of the similarity in character between two doctors and one schoolar. Twilight's internal train of thought got rather tiresome to follow at times, which may be in-character but still doesn't make the best reading. In contrast, every time John spoke up felt almost refreshing. His role in this chapter was also rather limited. I expected him to cause a small scene or at least voice some displeasure with the idea of an escort and what it implies but his respones stayed muted up until the later part of the hospital scene.
Overall this chapter was good, especially the highlighted social norms of pony society. It could have done with something to spice it up in the middle, though. The second half of the examination at the end did just that but came in too late to what amounted to the characters sitting in a waiting room and talking for the most part or reading Twilight's tought process. A chance encounter on the way to the hospital or the male nurse returning and interacting with John might have done the trick. All said I still liked it and am looking forward to whatever comes next.

4304336 4303928
Thanks for the feed back, it's much appreciated! I was worried about this being a dialogue/exposition heavy chapter and it looks like I was right to worry. I'll do my best to not repeat this mistake again.

The dispute/questioning of Equestria's balance on gender equality will be coming up next. I felt from John's perspective he'd be worried about how a possibly insane person talking about the demerits and ethical pit falls of gender inequality could poison the subject overall. So, he was mostly quiet this chapter since he was deep in thought of how he should approach the subject in a way to get results and how to do so without possibly insulting the ponies that are helping him.

4304403 Your reasoning behind John staying quiet is sound. A quick look back showed that while he didn't voice his displeasure with the escort business he did grimace at the idea of it. Still, a few more gestures from him and indeed Twilight and Happy Days wouldn't have hurt. In John's case opening his mouth but closing it again without speaking or looking into the distance deep in thought might have fit.

disinclined to continue that line of though

You miss spelled "thought"

Twilight wanted to e irritated at this

Missing a B

forth witty remarks wasn't here thing

wasn't her thing