Five Shooting Stars

by The Infinity Doctor

Just a little somethin' to forget me by

"We searched Valiant Boss. The will ain't on him" Smart Ass said.

"Then frisk the woman!" The ominous voice of Judge Doom shouted

"I'll handle this one..." Greasy said, rolling up his sleeve and reaching his hand down the front of Jessica's dress

*SNAP*

Greasy removed his hand and shouted as he tried to pry the mantrap off of him

"Nice booby trap" Eddie said

Judge Doom smacked Greasy, sending him sailing into a stack of boxes containing fake eyes- which went spilling all over the floor.

"Do they have the Will or not?"
"Nah. Just this this stupid love letter" Smart Ass replied, waving the piece of paper
"No matter. I doubt if the will is going to show up in the next fifteen minutes anyway"
"What happens in the next fifteen minutes?"
"ToonTown will be legally mine. Lock, stock, and barrel"

X X X X X X X

"It's over Mr. Valiant" Doom said, walking away

He slipped on the fake eyes on the floor, making the weasels laugh- Eddie took his chance to grab Smart Ass

"Look out! You fool!" Doom shouted, covering his left eye
"Not so fast" Smart Ass said, pointing the gun at Eddie in time to stop him

"One of these days, you idiots are going to laugh yourselves to death!" Doom said

Eddie came to a sudden realization

"Shall I repose of him right now Boss?"
"Let him watch his Toon friends get dipped, then shoot him" Doom said, before leaving the warehouse
"With pleasure"

"Everything's funny to you, ain't it needle nose?"
"You got a problem with that Valiant?"
"Nah. I just er, want you to know something about the guy you're gonna dip!" Eddie said, starting the music machine sitting nearby.
"Whhhaaaaaa?" Smart Ass said, backing away
The other weasels looked on in confusion as to what Valiant was doing
"Now Roger is his name, and laughter is his game. Come on you dope, untie his rope and watch him go insane"

"He's lost his mind" Jessica said
"I don't think so..." Roger replied

"This singin' ain't my line, it's tough to make a rhyme, if I get stuck- I'm- I'm outta luck and, and..."

"...and I'm running out of time!" Jessica finished

"Thanks!"

Eddie threw some bombs into the air, each one hitting him on the head after coming back down
Dizzy, he stumbled backwards and slipped on a banana peel and fell backwards into several stacks of boxes, he came out, bouncing on a pogo stick just as Stupid laughed and hit himself over the head with his bat - after going a little too high, he hit an overhanging light- electrocuting him in the process.

Stupid was laughing so hard he fell of the ladder of the Dip machine and onto the floor- then went stiff as a board, his ghost flying out of his body with a pair of wings and a harp.
Wheezy was laughing too, and seeing his own ghost try to leave his body- tried to pull it back in, he did so with little success as the ladder he was on steadily went higher, while still trying to contain his ghost- it finally got free, leaving Wheezy to fall back to the floor with the ladder in the opposite direction.

"Hey Eddie! Keep it up! You're killing 'em! You're slaying 'em! You're knocking 'em dead!"

A lever was switched during Eddie's 'performance', causing a conveyor belt with a vase to move over his head

"I'm through with taking falls, I'm bouncing off the walls, without that gun- I'd have some fun, I'd kick you in the..."
Eddie was interrupted as the aforementioned vase broke over his head.

"Nose!" Roger shouted
"Nose? That don't rhyme with walls

"No! But this does" Eddie said, getting up
He gave Smart Ass a swift kick between the legs, forcing him to fly across the room and land in the vat of sizzling Dip
"Aaaagggggghhhhh!"

X X X X X X X

"Aaaagggggghhhhh!"

Smart Ass woke with a start and looked around the room, his sweat-drenched shirt clinging to his body

"Just a dream..." he muttered
But it was more than that, it wasn't a dream- or a nightmare- but a memory, though to him it was more like a nightmare than anything else

He looked to his jacket and hat resting on the floor a few feet away, he opened the doors to the balcony and decided it was warm enough to leave them.

As he admired the skyline against the night sky, he pulled out a cigar, lit it, and started puffing on it
"What am I gonna do?" he wondered to himself

"What is troubling thee?"

Smart Ass nearly jumped out of his fur when Princess Luna approached him
"Nothin' Princess, just thinkin' about a few things"
"What might that be?"

Smart Ass just sighed, he wanted to just scream at her- he didn't know why...but he knew yelling at the diarch would probably get him dipped.

"You know what? Just forget I said anything...I'm goin' back to bed Princess"
Probably get a lecture from that Twilight mare in the morning

He was just about head back into his room when Luna spoke

"We have seen thy dreams"

Smart Ass stopped cold and turned back to the Princess of the Night
"...how much do you know?"
"Only what you have shown Us"

He sighed and went back to the railing with Luna

"This is all like a dream, ya know- any moment now I'm expecting to wake up on the floor of the Acme Factory"
"Is this in your world?"
"Yeah, anyway- I know we won't, because- because-"

Smart Ass stopped, it felt like he might actually cry. Where was all of this coming from?

"We, we laughed ourselves to death..."
Luna only laughed
"Such a thing isn't possible"

"WHY DON'T YOU GO TELL THAT TO THE OTHERS?!" Smart Ass yelled "THEY WERE LUCKY, THEY DIED LAUGHING- I GOT DIPPED!"

The smile disappeared from Luna's face as he shouted at her
Smart Ass stopped himself before he got any angrier

"I'm goin' back to bed, I'll see ya in the morning I guess..." he muttered, closing the door to the balcony once he was back inside.

I'm gonna get a talk from her sister about that tomorrow... Smart Ass thought to himself, tossing and turning- trying to get to sleep

Meanwhile Luna continued to watch him from outside the glass doors, she lost herself in thought for a moment before turning and flying back to her own chambers

X

"Good morning Wheezy, good morning Fawn" Twilight said, seeing the pegasus filly and the blue weasel, the latter of which was slipping on his vest

"Morning Miss Twilight" Fawn said happily
Wheezy only replied with a grunt

"Did you two sleep well last night?"
"Yep! The beds were real comfortable"
Wheezy nodded to second her statement

"You're not much of a morning pony, are you?"
"What gave you that idea?" Wheezy asked, rubbing the sand out of his eyes
"Just a hunch"
Twilight, Wheezy, and Fawn all headed down the hallways and towards the throne room

"So what's the plan for today?"
"Actually, I think the princesses were planning to let us all go back home..." Twilight trailed off

Wonderful, I can finally see what's up with our car Wheezy thought to himself

And so, after a brief meeting with the princesses, the Elements, Fawn, and the weasels were soon on a train heading back to Ponyville.

"Woulda been faster if we used toonspeed" Slimy pouted, leaning against one of the walls of the passenger car
"Y'all better sit down and put your seatbelt on, sugarcube" Applejack said "The train's supposed ta stop soon"

"Eh, those things cost more lives than they save"

Just as he finished his sentence, the train came to a screeching halt and sent Slimy flying through a window

"Really? He used that reference?" Pinkie said
"Again, what are you talking about?" Flasher asked
Pinkie only smiled and hopped out of the passenger car

"We'd better go see if he's alright..." Applejack sighed, following the bouncing ball of pink off the train.

Author's Note:

Looks like Smarty lost his head there- what's coming up? You'll have to find out- your thoughts are what I want to hear!
As always, it's wonderful writing for you all -until the next chapter!