Kumberbuzzles Over Canterlot

by SirTruffles

At the Gala

The next evening was going very well, if Glitz did say so himself. Here he was in the marble halls of Canterlot Castle with the only ounce of scrumptulecence in the whole Gala bobbing inches above his dashing smile.

“Yes, isn’t it simply brimming with blazzle?” he yammered to an orange unicorn in a blue pearl-set gown. “It takes a true Gem family knack to find style like this.”

The filly tilted her head. “I can’t say I’m seeing it.”

Glitz immediately lost interest in her and walked on.

“Oh! What a… novel piece of headgear you’ve got there.” An aquamarine unicorn in a polished staff uniform commented in passing. She was floating some treys back to the kitchen.

“Oh, so you’ve got an eye for fashion too?” Glitz asked, coming up alongside her. “Excellent, I do enjoy the company of ponies of good taste.”

“Um, as do I,” she agreed hesitantly, edging away. “Now if you'll excuse me, I-"

"Oh, do stay a moment, I insist," Glitz said, throwing a hoof over her shoulder. "Clearly tasteful ponies such as ourselves should have at least a little to say to each other."

“Taste?” An irate ivory unicorn in a stiffly starched tuxedo and monocle strutted over. “You expect me to believe you have any taste at all with that disaster on your head?” he tutted.

“Disaster?” Glitz snorted, forgetting the mare entirely. “My good sir, how could a Gem have anything but the best of taste?”

“I’ve never seen anything like that in Dressage Monthly,” ivory scoffed. “If the great Reign and Tack haven’t found it, it can’t be a thing. Am I wrong, miss?” He stepped in front of aquamarine.

"Um, excuse me, gentlecolts," she mumbled, ears down. "I really need to refill the-"

“Pah, Reign and Tack don’t even know what scrumptulocity is.” Glitz rolled his eyes.

“Do you?” came the challenge.

“It’s a mixture of… hollandaise and blazonry,” Glitz insisted. “Everypony knows that.”

“Um, gentlecolts, there's no need to cause a scene,” aquamarine begged, half-heartedly trying to step between them.

Ivory stamped his hoof. “Reign and Tack are not behind the times. You’re just making that up so you don’t feel stupid for wearing mares’ lingerie as headgear.”

A faint blush came to Glitz’s cheeks, and he fumbled for a response. “Well, why are you so dead set on making a scene? Does Tack hold your reigns?”

The small crowd that had gathered fell quiet, the silence broken only by the odd “oh my” muffled by a hoof.

“W-well, I don’t even need Reign and Tack to tell me that you're wearing a wardrobe malfunction of massive proportions,” ivory insisted. “Ask anypony you want: I’m sure they’ll agree.”

“Do you think so?” Glitz asked aquamarine.

"I, uh," she glanced about nervously, first at the two irate stallions to either side, then to the floppy change purse. There really were quite a few eyes on her. Far more than were in the job description. At last, she spotted salvation not too far off in the form of two alicorns: one white with a golden crown, while the other was dark blue and crowned in ebony.

“I'm not really the pony to ask," she said, "but I can find you a proper judge if you really want to know."

"Well, then, lead on," Glitz insisted.

Aquamarine led the group over to the alicorns. “Um, excuse me, your majesties?” She curtsied.

“-the entire homeland security fund, Celestia? On one pastry?” Luna was muttering through clenched teeth.

“You’ll understand when you see it, Luna,” Celestia insisted sheepishly. “I’ll even give you half, ok?”

Aquamarine cleared her throat. “Um, your majesties?”

They both suddenly straightened up and put on gentle, serene, smiles that were not strained at all. Not even a bit.

“Forgive us, my little ponies – we were just discussing some... business,” Celestia explained.

“What aid may we provide?” Luna asked.

“Your people need your wise and discerning eyes to settle a dispute over fashion,” Glitz explained.

Celestia’s eyes widened the slightest bit. Luna tilted her head. Aquamarine high-tailed it back to the kitchens.

“Oh! Um, I just remembered the diplomat from… Saddle Arabia requested an audience regarding the sand-air exchange rates,” Celestia said. “And look at the time. I fear I must leave this matter in your capable hooves, little sister.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “I do not recall being informed of any audiences tonight.”

“It was a last minute appointment. Very boring. I thought you would have rather spent the time getting to know your subjects more fully,” Celestia explained. “I will not be long.”

Celestia’s horn flared, and she vanished in a rush of gold and flame, leaving Luna stranded with her subjects.

She continued staring skeptically at the former position of her sister until she realized with a little jump that there was still a crowd expecting her attention. “Oh! Um, good ponies of Equestria, how might your Princess be of service?”

“We have but a simple question, your highness,” ivory spoke up. “Is the garment this stallion wears on his head in any way pleasing to the eye?”

“Well, while I must admit I am not quite up to date on the current trends in fashion, know that your Princess will always do her best for her subjects,” Luna said, a graceful but eager smile coming to her face.

She looked over Glitz, blinked, and looked again. The corners of her mouth curled up, then curled more when she saw the naive, almost brazen, confidence with which Glitz wore the dainty lace which had just slipped over his eye. She bit her lip for a good minute before she managed to compose herself to deliver the verdict:

“I do indeed find it pleasing. Now if you’ll excuse me.” Her horn flared, and she too was gone, though if one with the talent had cocked an ear towards the moon and listened closely, they may have just been able to catch the gales of Royal Canterlot snorts, hoof-stamping, and guffaws chortling from the surface.

“Excuse me, did I just hear Princess Luna complementing that fine headgear Mr. Glitz is sporting tonight?” came a voice from the crowd.

“Indeed you did,” Glitz puffed out his chest. “And rightly so, for it is the most scrumptulecent headgear in all of Equestria!” He paused to flick the dangling purse from his face. “Anypony can see that.”

“Oh! Oh! Wherever did you find it?”

“What inspired this daring fashion experiment?”

“Do you think it’s the next big thing?”

“Why it was nothing, really,” Glitz scuffed a hoof on the floor as ponies began to gather. “I was just doing some shopping at Ponyville’s Carousel Boutique when a hit of… felicity caught the corner of my eye…”

Comments

[lolcatsmanseven]

A hit of felicity also caught my eye as well, when I saw this story had updated.