Jason's Equine Discovery

by EarthTrack

Chapter 1: Changing Shit Up

WARNING: This is a pretty profane piece of 'literature'. Don't read it if that gets your panties in a knot. That is all.

Jason McShullock hated his job as a delivery boy. A pizza delivery boy, to be precise. It was the same boring work every day. He especially despised delivering pizzas to the area that its residents call ‘Da hood’. After being threatened at gunpoint by a customer in said community, Jason decided that he was damn near tired of his current lifestyle.

“I’m about to change shit up.” He said to himself as he drove back to his house. If he didn’t deliver pizzas in his own car, he would have driven the son of a bitch right off of the side of a road and jumped out, hoping not to fucking die.

After a short drive, Jason arrived at his apartment building. Not a shabby residence but, it was made practically a hellhole by the douchebag party-boy college students who inhabited almost the entire damn apartment. Jason had ideas about what he’d do to ‘Change shit up’ but he would pursue them tomorrow. It was late in the evening and there were things that he would rather do. LIKE PLAY SOME MOTHERFUCKING VIDYA GAMES.

James pressed the shit out of his computer monitor’s power button, but when it began displaying its LED pixel bullshit, it wasn’t Jason’s ordinary desktop background. It was a blurry-ass image of what looked like a town. There were some railroad tracks, and, you know, buildings and all the good shit that makes up a town. What happened next almost made Jason pick up a hammer and smash the fuck out of his computer. As quick as a flash, a giant-ass pink puffball just fucking appeared on his monitor out of Hoboken goddamn nowhere.

“Who the fuck are you?” Jason asked sternly.

“I’m Pinkie Pie and I’m gonna throw a party fo-“

“OH FUCK NO.”

Jason slammed his monitor screen-first onto his desk. He mumbled angrily while walking over to his bed. He was tired and he was confused. Fuck ponies, get sleep.

The next morning, Jason awoke to find a soft yellow and pink mass of God-knows-what laying on his bed next to him. The pink bitch from the previous night was sitting asleep in his desk chair. A blue and rainbow-esque pony, similar to the pink one was conked the fuck out on his couch, laying next to an orange pony who was also sleeping. Lazy free-loading bastards, they. Being too tired to realize what the hell was going on, Jason lazily stumbled over to his kitchen, where a white pony and a purple pony were laying side to side next to his coffee machine. He casually pushed them aside and poured himself a cup of black coffee. Jason need to wake the fuck up and find out what the shit was happening.

Little did he know that change had already found him.

After consuming several cups of strong, black, scalding hot coffee, Jason was starting to be able to think clearly. It was 11:00 and these little shits were still asleep. Jason wanted to wonder how they got into his apartment, but he figured he’d save questions for later. Jason was fed up with waiting. He gave a firm kick to the behind of the pink pony who was on his desk chair. She immediately screamed and woke all of the other ponies. Probably some people in China too. Disregarding how dazed and tired the ponies seemed, Jason pointed at his door and said…

“Get the fuck out.”

The ponies didn’t appear to want to leave.

“If you don’t haul your sparkling asses out of here right now, I’m going to make sure that you never walk again.”

At this point, the blue winged pony started taking offense.

“Who do you think you are, huh? Princess Celestia? I oughta’ make you regret ever meeting me!”

“Look. Bitch. I will end your miserable life. Don’t test me. I don’t know who the fuck your princess is, either, and I don’t really give a shit.”

The blue pony pondered this for a moment.

“Alright, guy, I like you. You’re pretty tough.”

Jason began to think. Maybe these ponies could be of some use to him.

“Alright, girls… I think you could help me with something. I’ll be right back.”

The ponies silently acknowledged this, and Jason entered his closet with a grin on his face. He came out wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans, but he was holding a sock. Filled with rocks.

“Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” Asked the yellow pony that apparently had some sort of affection for James. It was sleeping with him.

“That’s not important. All that matters is that we’re leaving. Come on.”

The ponies didn’t dare argue. They knew that Jason wasn’t fucking around. They all left the apartment building and walked down the street. Jason was still carrying the sock. It wasn’t long until he heard voices behind him.

“Dude, look at this faggot and his pretty little pets!”

Jason’s lip curled up in a smile as he raised the sock. Jason turned around quickly and smashed the sock directly across the little prick’s face. He wasn’t sure if the noises he heard were the rocks coming together or bones breaking apart, but it didn’t matter. Being hit with rocks has got to hurt, and that’s just what Jason wanted. The ponies watched in horror, and the yellow one almost started crying, but they were even more incentivized to follow Jason now. After a ten minute or so walk, Jason stopped in front of a pretty shitty looking house. He knocked on the door and it was answered by the man who had threatened to kill him yesterday. He was silent but looked shocked to see Jason there again after almost dying. Jason again, smiled and raised the sock.

“Special delivery, motherfucker.”

The sock found a comfortable place on the man’s jaw, but the jaw didn’t feel the same way. It was separated from the man’s head with surprising ease. From behind him, Jason could hear silence, which was broken by crying, presumably coming from the yellow pussy. Jason turned around and walked away, with his bloody rock-filled sock hung over his shoulder.

“Uh, sorry, I hate to interrupt your… task… but how are we helping you, exactly?” Asked the purple pony.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be helping me in more ways than you’ll know about.”

Comments

[RodBottom]

no Comment for my Comment

i am so very disapointed wyatt. i think i will tell BabySeaturtles to read this.

[EarthTrack]

275697 OH SHIT DO IT