Dr. Horrible's Equestrian Story

by Terrasora

Sun and Moon

“Honestly, what is possessing you to act so horrid?!” Rarity glared into the human’s eyes, her well-coiffed mane inches from his face.

Dr. Horrible raised an eyebrow. “It’s in my name.”

“Well, that’s no excuse!”

“Sure. Whatever. Can you just step away a bit? It’s uncomfortable. I feel like I’m breathing in more perfume than oxygen.” Dr. Horrible allowed a smirk as Rarity stepped back self-consciously.

“Why- Why you brute! You utter brute!” Rarity turned up her nose, crossing her hooves angrily.

Hooves sounded against the wooden stairs. The pair in the living room turned towards the doorway.

“It’s my turn, Rarity,” said Twilight. “You’re free to leave.”

“Well, thank Celestia for that.” Rarity got to her hooves, throwing one last nasty glance towards the human. “Dr. Horrible certainly isn’t a misnomer.”

Dr. Horrible shrugged and waved his goodbye to Rarity, who turned up her nose again and climbed back up the stairs.

Twilight Sparkle sighed and took Rarity’s place. “I think that you’ve successfully insulted each of my friends within a few hours of knowing them.”

“Yup. I think I should earn a prize for it. Like having you leave me alone.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Then stop talking.”

Twilight scowled. “What’s wrong with you?! Would it kill you to speak like a civilized pony?!”

Dr. Horrible glanced up sharply, staring straight into the unicorn’s eyes. “I’m in an alternate universe where wolves are made of wood, unicorns and pegasi are running around, and the word ‘pony’ has replaced ‘body.’ Excuse me for not taking part in your tea parties.”

They glared at each other. Twilight tensed slightly. Dr. Horrible readied himself for an argument.

A stream of air escaped the unicorn’s lips. She placed her left hoof to her chest and stretched it out in one smooth motion.

“You’re right,” she said. “Then let’s talk. Like civilized ‘bodies’.”

Dr. Horrible furrowed his brow. “You want to… talk?”

“Yes,” replied Twilight with a nod. “Without the nasty name-calling and making me want to strangle you with my magic.”

“No.”

“... Pardon?”

“There’s no reason to talk to you. I won’t be here for long. And you already know that I’m Dr. Horrible.” He crossed his arms, curling in on himself slightly. “That’s all you need to know.”

Twilight’s hoof collided with her face. “For the love of Celestia.” She held that position for a moment. “Fine. That’s fine. If you don’t want to talk to me, then I’ll just talk to you.” Her eyes defocused slightly. “And if he still won’t talk, then I’ll get Pinkie Pie in here to execute Order ChimmyCherryChanga. But only as a last resort.”

“Chimmy cherry what?” asked Dr. Horrible.

“Oh, so now you want to talk.”

Dr. Horrible paused, then leaned back onto the coach. “No. No I don’t. Not unless you’re going to give me a way out of here.”

Twilight’s face contorted slightly. She did that strange gesture again, drawing her hoof close, then back out. Whatever it meant, it seemed to calm her down. “Where do you want to go?”

“Home.”

That caused a bit of hesitation in the unicorn. “And where is home?”

“Not here.”

“What’s it like over there?”

“Terrible. The whole world’s corrupted and no one wants to see it, let alone fix it.” Dr. Horrible sighed. “Not one person, anymore.”

“Anymore?”

Dr. Horrible glanced sharply at Twilight. “I said that I didn’t want to talk.”

Twilight Sparkle resisted the urge to roll her eyes. It’s easier for a stranger to talk to Fluttershy than it is to talk to him. “Fine. We’ll change the subject. How about that device? The thing you had wrapped around your… Claw?” Twilight gestured towards her foreleg.

“Arm?”

“If that’s what they are.”

Dr. Horrible raised an eyebrow. “That ‘device’ is mine and I would very much like it back.”

Twilight closed her eyes in frustration. “Yes. We’ve established it. But what is it?”

“A weapon.”

“Well, I’d figured that much out!” said Twilight, her voice a bit louder than she had intended. “Sorry. But it destroyed a whole section of the hospital floor.” She smiled sheepishly, trying for a joke. “I was kind of standing on that at the time.”

Dr. Horrible grunted in recognition, but offered nothing else.

“So… Are those weapons common where you’re from?”

The human snorted. “Something like that? I’m probably the only person who could figure out how to build it, even in the Evil League of Evil.”

“You built it?” Twilight’s eyes shined excitedly, her voice picking up speed as she spoke. “How did you do it? It looks like highly powerful magic, yet it’s completely controlled, far less volatile than any experiments that I’ve attempted to run with something of that calibre.”

Dr. Horrible furrowed his brow, trying to keep up. “It’s not magic. It’s science.”

Twilight rounded on him, scooting closer with a slight gasp. “Then could you build another one?”

“A-another one?”

“Not to use as a weapon!” Twilight waved her hooves frantically. “No, definitely not that! But for the sake of scientific knowledge!”

“I can’t do that.”

“But that thing is years ahead of anything happening right now! Can’t I have a quick little peek at the schematics?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No!” shouted Dr. Horrible. Twilight recoiled at the sudden outburst, her eyes flashing in hurt and curiosity in turn.

“I mean,” said Dr. Horrible, “I-I wouldn’t have the materials to build it again. I can’t do it.”

“If it’s a matter of materials, I have a--”

“Twilight!” A rainbow blur darted into the room, hovering in the air as four other pairs of hooves sounded against the stairs. “I just saw the chariot touch down!”

Twilight Sparkle shot to her hooves. “Let’s get going! We can’t keep Princess Celestia waiting.” She turned towards the human. “And Doctor? Please don’t act the same way around the Princess as you do around my friends. You might end up on the Moon.”

Dr. Horrible knit his eyebrows. “What?”

***

“I don’t understand. Where did this little bit of energy come from?” Professor Normal held the pink stone against a light, squinting up at it. He held it against his ear, nearly smashing it against his metal muttonchops.

“We don’t know, Professor. But when I returned to the laboratory from my report to Bad Horse, all the readings showed that it had somehow conducted some kind of power.”

Professor Normal turned towards the grunt. “You. What’s your name?”

“Bob, sir.”

“Bob the grunt?”

“Yes sir.”

“Riiiiight. Well, Bob, what can you tell me about this little stone?”

Bob reached out. “May I, sir?”

Professor Normal handed over the jewel.

“We found this jewel at the same place that Doctor Horrible disappeared.” Bob walked over to a nearby counter, picking up a rather unremarkable black box. “It was attached to this and, best that we can figure, the jewel acts as an energy source.”

“Energy for what?”

“We can’t be sure, sir, unless we undid this box. And we don’t want to do that because we aren’t entirely certain that we’d be able to put it back together again.” Bob put the box down again. “However, the leading idea is that it’s some kind of transportation device.”

Professor Normal furrowed his brow. “Of course. It would explain why Dr. Horrible wasn’t at the back robbery. But explain why the Evil League of Evil hasn’t found a trace of him anywhere on the world.”

Bob cleared his throat self-consciously. “Well, sir, we don’t think that he’s anywhere on the Earth.”

“What?”

“Of course, we can’t be certain!” added the grunt hurriedly. “But we’ve done some internal imaging of the device and there are components that we simply can’t place. It’s something straight out of science-fiction, sir.”

Professor Normal arched an eyebrow. “Then you think he’s on the Moon?”

“At this point, sir, we’re not discounting any possibility. But, given the strangeness of the device and of the jewel itself a few of us believe that he’s,” Bob paused slightly, “that Dr. Horrible may be in a parallel dimension.”

There were a few moments of heavy silence.

“Bob,” said Professor Normal, “I don’t know what you’ve been reading, but that would be impossible.”

“Yes, sir.”

Professor Normal placed a hand on Bob’s shoulder. “It’s also entirely within Dr. Horrible’s realm. Continue your research. I expect results from your department.”

Bob looked up excitedly in slight disbelief. “Yes, sir!”

Quietly, unseen in the scientist’s closed hand, the butterfly jewel glowed a soft pink.

***

“Dr. Horrible, is it? A pleasure to meet you.” Celestia smiled warmly, the expression mirrored on her sister’s face. “I am Princess Celestia and this is Princess Luna.”

They had gathered outside of Fluttershy’s house, six bowing ponies, two upright alicorns, and a defiantly standing human.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice, Princess,” said Twilight.

“It’s our pleasure, Twilight,” replied Celestia with her ever-present smile.

“Where’s the queen?” asked Dr. Horrible.

Twilight and her friends glanced upwards in shock.

The slightest bit of confusion shown through Luna’s face. “Pardon?”

“The queen. Considering that you’re the princess, there has to be some kind of queen who’s actually ruling. Maybe a king?”

Celestia shook her head. “I’m afraid not. Neither my sister nor I particularly care for that title. We do well enough as princesses.”

Dr. Horrible made a sort of noncommittal grunt.

“Well,” cut in Applejack awkwardly, “I reckon that we should get inside. Still a bit chilly out, isn’t it?” She chuckled without any real humor.

“Quite,” agreed Rarity. “And Fluttershy prepared a simply divine tea blend which we simply cannot allow to go cold.” She walked over to the cottage, magically holding the door open. “After you, Princess.”

“Thank you, Rarity.”

Fluttershy’s cottage, as always, was pleasantly warm. The group of nine squeezed into the living room, occupying every one of Fluttershy’s seat. A tea set, steam quietly puffing out of the tea pot, stood on a table in the middle of the room.

Celestia took a polite sip of her tea before speaking. “Dr. Horrible. My student says that you are in possession of a very interesting artifact.”

The human noted the slightly proud look in Twilight’s eyes. “Yes. You can put it that way. It is, however, currently being denied to me.”

“Twilight thinks that it poses a danger. Is this true?”

“Of course it’s dangerous. It’s a weapon. A death ray.” Dr. Horrible almost sounded bored.

Luna straightened slightly, glancing at her sister. “A death ray?”

“It was built to destroy. Or kill. It depends on what setting it’s on.” Dr. Horrible took a sip of his tea. Why are the cups built like this? They don’t have hands.

“I see,” said Celestia. “Then they took it from you with good reason.”

Dr. Horrible stayed silent.

“Princess,” said Twilight, “that’s not the only thing. It’s an almost entirely scientific device! There’s next to no magic involved in its crafting!”

“There’s no magic,” mumbled Dr. Horrible.

Princess Luna turned to the human in shock. “Thou were able to make such a thing without the use of magic?”

“I’m not really used to using magic.” Dr. Horrible wiggled his fingers. “There isn’t much of that back where I live.”

“And where do you live?” asked Celestia.

“Not here.”

“Will you be able to go back there?”

“One day. If I’m left alone.”

“I see.” Princess Celestia looked around the room, briefly locking eyes with each of her six subjects. “My little ponies, would you be kind enough to leave me and my sister with Dr. Horrible?”

The six got to their hooves with a nod and a few worried glances. They left the room. Fluttershy was the last one out, her anxiety evident on her face.

Celestia put her tea down. She didn’t speak, choosing to simply regard Dr. Horrible for a time. “There are certain naming conventions in place in Equestria,” she said suddenly. “An old magic from an age far older than I or my sister. The names given to us describe what we are. Parents receive a spark of inspiration, a name that simply fits what a foal will grow to become. Who gave you your name, Dr. Horrible?”

“It’s my name,” he said. “I chose it.”

“Is that normal practice in thine home?” asked Luna.

“Humans choose their names all the time.” Dr. Horrible sipped a bit more of his tea.

“I see.” Celestia considered this for a moment. “And how did a human come to be in Equestria?”

“Science,” said the human with a smirk. “Without magic.”

“And can thou repeat thy science without magic?”

Dr. Horrible raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me out of here so quickly?”

Luna stared him straight in the eye. “Dost thou live up to thy name?”

The human smiled an unfriendly smile and looked back towards Celestia. “Yes. I could do it again, given enough time and the proper materials.”

“And you will be in Equestria until you’ve finished your preparations,” said Celestia.

“Unless you have another place for me to go.”

Celestia ignored the remark, glancing over at Luna. They shared a wordless conversation before nodding in unison and turning back to the human.

“Dr. Horrible,” Princess Celestia drew herself to her full height, towering over the still seated villain. She looked down at him, holding his gave unwaveringly as she spoke. “I am Celestia, Princess of the Day, who moves the Sun and protects all of Equestria.”

“Dr. Horrible.” Princess Luna stood next to her sister, slightly shorter than her sister but far darker as she spoke. “We are Luna, Princess of the Night, who moves the Moon and protects all of Equestria.”

“You have entered our kingdom with a weapon of war. One that brings death and destruction. You, one that we do not know and do not trust, wields it.”

“Thou art stripped of this power.” Luna’s horn glowed a light blue. There was a sudden flash and Dr. Horrible’s death ray appeared, enveloped in the same aura. “It shall be in our possession until such a time as thou art judged able to wield it without repercussion.” Another flash and the weapon was gone.

“For the safety of our subjects,” said the Princesses in tandem.

“You can’t do that!” Dr. Horrible jumped out of his seat, standing at eye level with the princess. “You can’t take that thing! You have no idea what it can do!”

“Nor do we have any intention of discovering what it can do,” said Celestia, holding his gaze cooly.

“Thou art welcome in Equestria, Dr. Horrible,” said Luna. “But if word reaches our ears of any evils caused by thine actions, then thou will not be so kindly treated.”

The Princesses returned to their seats.

“This is kindness?” shouted Dr. Horrible. “You think that this is being treated kindly?!”

Celestia took a sip of her tea, glancing up at the fuming human. “There is far worse that we would do for our ponies.”

“Should thou prove our worries to be fruitless, then we will apologize.”

Dr. Horrible took in a breath, his hands tightening into fists, a twinge shooting into his shoulder from the movement. “You--You two. I need a place to work. And I don’t want to be bothered. By anything. Then I’ll get the hell out of here. And good riddance.”

Celestia shook her head. “I can--”

There was a loud, drumming sound and six mares burst into the room.

“Are you okay, Prin--”

“We heard shouti--”

“Did he try to break ou--”

“Then I said, ‘There’s no anchovies in s’mores!’”

Every pair of eye paused on Pinkie Pie for a moment.

Celestia smiled kindly. “I am fine, my little ponies, but thank you for your concern. Actually, your timing is perfect! I was just about to discuss Dr. Horrible’s living arrangements.” She turned towards the human.

“What living arrangements?” asked Dr. Horrible through gritted teeth.

“You will stay here,” said Celestia, “in Ponyville under the watchful eyes of the Elements of Harmony. You will rotate between their homes, switching every three days.”

“What?!” said seven voices.

Celestia held up a hoof and continued. “In that time, I want you to continue your research on a way back home. You are free to move among Ponville as you feel necessary and I trust that Twilight will lend you use of her laboratory, but the Element whose home you are sharing at the time is not allowed to leave your side except under extenuating circumstances.” She turned towards Luna. “Is that about it?”

“We believe so.”

“This is stupid!” protested Dr. Horrible. “Just let me be alone!”

Celestia turned towards the human. “Alone, Dr. Horrible, is the last thing you should be.”

Author's Note:

And so, I introduce another member of the Evil League of Evil and prove that I am incredibly lazy and procrastinate-y

Comments

[DelphiDovahkiin]

So, why is it a Fluttershy crystal? Are there other pony crystals? If they're charged by their elements, how would you charge the Twilight one? Is Doctor Horrible aware of the power of the crystal? Are there any other details I could ask about? WHAT IS LIFE?

[La Barata]

We require Moar horrible!

[Davidp1522]

Incredibly lazy and procrastinate-y are traits that I'm fine with when the product continues to be fantastic. I mean, dear god... Did you sell you soul for this shit? I'd believe it.

[Terrasora]

3551851
Reasons. Maybe. Magic. Maybe. Yes. Life is consciousness. Or rather, that's the impressive part of life. Humans are just groups of germs and stuff working together in tandem, the crazy part is that you can think for yourself.
I hope that answered your questions!
3552110
I'm trying! Luckily I had a lot of time to think up the plot, so I have a vague direction now!
3552674
Only part of my soul. The part that wasn't taken by the Internet or ponies. So about 2% of my soul.

[La Barata]

3552706 piclair.com/data/tolgb.jpg

[Terrasora]

3552751
... That's going on my user page.
And I think I love you

[La Barata]

3552774