Pinkie Pie Gets Amplified!

by Brian Jacko

With a Little Help From My Friends

Rainbow Dash sped through the alleys of the city Manehatten. This was a bit of a travel for her, but thankfully it was the closest city to Ponyville. She had two ponies in mind right now. It didn't take her long to find the two ponies who were standing by a dumpster wearing trench coats. The information about where these two ponies could be found was true. "Hey guys I heard you sell some pills and I..." Rainbow Dash was suddenly cut short because she was shocked to see the Flim and Flam brothers turn around and face her. "I uh, what are you guys doing here? You are the two that sells pills to ponies on the streets right? I thought you two were in the apple cider business."

Flim laughed and said, "we had to sell our apple cider machine because we couldn't keep up with the demands of Applejack's apple cider from Sweet Apple Acres! We found a more profitable business here in Manehatten selling drugs on the street. What can we get for you?"

Rainbow Dash put her hoof to her chin. She was deep in thought as she looked across the filth and garbage that was littered throughout the alley. "I don't really know what drug to buy. What do you all usually sell?" Rainbow asked.

Flim and Flam looked at each other and smiled. They then looked back at Rainbow Dash and began to sing.

"Are you sick of life? Do you need a fix? Allow us to reach into our bag of tricks."

"Tired of feeling nappy and crappy? We'll make it snappy and give you a pill to make you happy!"

"We have pills that range from blue, to red, to yellow! Some perk you up and some make you mellow!"

"We have pills that can alter your brain. They can give you escapes to get away from the pain."

"Do you want to feel as if you're drifting peacefully away on a cloud, or do you want to feel so good that you'll shout out loud?"

"You come form the land of Ponyville to buy a pill and get your fill for the thrill of a new adventure that goes beyond your wildest dreams. Just pop in a pill and you'll know what I mean."

"Do you know a little pony that could use a boost? Do you know a little pony with a few screws loose?"

"You have come to the right place, and our pills will put a smile on your face."

"Just pop one in and gulp it down to turn that frown right upside down."

"If you're ever feeling tired and want to feel wired, we can provide an example with just a little sample."

"Try our pills and take our word. Do not think either of us are absurd."

"What could possibly go wrong, just take this pill and sing this song."

"You can trust our deal there is no danger, you can take these pills from a stranger."

"Rainbow, You're a smart mare, you are not dumb. You have made a wise choice to come here for fun."

"Just pick out some pills and you'll be on your way, flying freely, high, and feeling gay."

Rainbow Dash suddenly glared at them with anger. "I'm not gay," she muttered through her teeth. "I don't want to make my friends gay either."

Both of the stallions laughed.

Flam spoke up and said, "We didn't mean it like that Rainbow. We meant the old saying of feeling sublime! We don't have any mind altering drugs that would cause you to change your sexual preference, but you never know! One day a pill like that could happen! We sell pills for just about everything else. What kind of desired effect are you looking for my dear?"

Rainbow took out the bottle that she took from Sugar Cube Corner. "I have this friend who is taking these Lithium pills and she's just not the same anymore. She is mellow and boring and I need something to pick her up. Do you guys have anything in mind?"

Flim smiled as he pulled his coat out. Inside his coat were many bottles of pills.

Flam looked at each bottle and then used his magic to bring out a bottle from his brother's coat. "Here is something from the amphetamine family. We call this little wonder, Adderall XR. Try one and see how you feel. It may take a while, but everything you do, be it sports or school, will be better!"

Rainbow Dash stood there in shock. "Do you mean that I can fly faster or be able to focus more?" she asked.

Flim used his magic and took out a glass of water. He opened up the bottle and gave the water and a single pill to Rainbow Dash. "Of course! Our drugs are magical and you will notice a major improvement in your abilities. Have a free sample. It's on us!" he said.

Rainbow put the pill in her mouth and chased it down with some water. "Wow! I feel great already! Thanks! Will I crash when the effect wears off?"

Flim laughed and said, "That's probably just a placebo effect. Yes, this pill activates very rapidly inside your body, but you should feel even better within a few moments. Don't worry about crashing, that's what the XR is for and it means extended release, so you will be feeling awesome all day."

"Shouldn't it stand for ER being that e is the first letter in the word extended?" Rainbow asked.

Flam answered, "It probably would make ponies think that Adderall ER stands for emergency room and taking a pill might send some ponies to the emergency room, which wouldn't be a terribly inaccurate assumption, but that doesn't matter! X is just a cool letter and it can mean so many different awesome things!"

"But I thought you said that these pills are safe?" Rainbow asked.

"They are! I'm just possibly over speculating things here!" Flam answered.

"And what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!" Flim added.

Rainbow Dash looked at the pills of Lithium and said, "Your amphetamine pills aren't the same color as these Lithium pills. I need this to be a surprise for a friend. What can we do about that?"

Flim took the bottle of Lithium pills and began to unscrew each capsule with his magic. He dumped whatever remains were inside of the capsule onto the ground. He then took the amphetamine pills and carefully placed each one into the capsules that were formerly holding the Lithium. "If the shoe fits, then wear it!" he said.

Flim was quickly able to fill up all the emptied Lithium capsules and handed them back to Rainbow Dash. "That will be ten bits for the pills please."

Rainbow Dash pulled out the ten bits from her bag and gave the money to one of the stallions.

Flim gladly took the money and shoved it into the pocket of his trench coat.

Flam took off his hat and bowed down to Rainbow Dash. "It's a pleasure to do business with you! You're our new friend and we'll help you out in anyway that we can. We hope to see you again. You know where to find us! Have a great day!"

The two bothers turned their backs on her and began to walk away. They had business to do with other ponies.

Rainbow Dash suddenly felt a wave of energy overtake her body. Her heart began to beat a little faster and she suddenly jolted up with an insane amount of energy and focus. "Best........pills........EVER!" she said out loud in excitement. Rainbow Dash couldn't wait to pop some more pills for herself, but right now she had to make a special delivery at Sugar Cube Corner.