Chapter 3
“C’mon, Orion! We’re gonna be late for our final test!” Scootaloo called to Orion. She tried not to show her nervousness, and it turned out to be a harder task than expected.
Scootaloo moved a little to the side as Orion, a tall, yet fairly skinny pony, settled next to her. He fluffed his light brown feathers and gave a worried attempt at a smile as he stared around where he sat. They were sitting in the large open waiting room on looking the colosseum, with all the other graduating pegasi. Just visible in the distance was The Factory. Orion glanced at it, and gulped.
“What’s the matter, Orion? You afraid of getting a dead end job on the snow line?”
Orion chuckled a bit, then closed his eyes and sighed. “No... It’s just... I don’t know. I don’t think I can do this. What if I fail? What if I don’t fail, but do just bad enough to still be disliked by everyone? I don’t know if I can take being deported. Where do we even go, anyways?”
Scootaloo gave Orion a friendly punch. “No one knows, you dolt. And we’re not going to fail. Everyone here is going to be fine. I know I will at least pass,” she laughed. “Thanks to the tips from Rainbow Dash, I’m sure to be fine.”
This made her a lot more nervous than before. Because every thing was happening in exact order and being said exactly as in her dream. What if Rainbow Dash was wrong and it was more than a dream?
She shook her head clear of the thought. The test was about to begin.
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The beginning seems a bit rushed, and RD seems to be under-reacting, the Rainbow Factory is supposed to be top secret, and I doubt she would react that coolly, also Scoots knows RD is a murderer, shouldn't she be more on edge near her? Also, a few nitpicks. On the second page you typed "rainbow dash". Rainbow Dash is a name, so it is a proper noun, meaning rainbow and dash should both be capitalized. Also, I would turn "The Factory" into "the Factory", lastly, I think you meant Colosseum, "Coliseum" is a rock band, but enough nitpicking, so far this story looks promising, I can't wait to see how it ends.
Woo rainbow given it away and I'm skipping until we get to another part I don't know
Can't wait to see what happens
Oh Boy things are about to get real now!!!