The Bartender

by UnoriginalUsername

The Kind Roost

Speech-Talking
Speech-Thinking
"Speech"-Talking
Speech-Yelling

Author's note- This story has some terms that might not be familiar to some so I'll describe it here.

Grasshopper- type of cocktail

Sidecar- type of cocktail

Mizuwari- basically watered down whiskey. While it is technically a cocktail, most people don't accept it as

one.

This might have some cannon characters, I don't know yet.
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Most ponies who lived in canterlot could agree on the fact that it had two faces. An unspoken curfew if one could say. In the day, everything was all fine and dandy, with ponies of all types and colors doing different activities from sightseeing to selling, but after seven, when all the good, hardworking ponies went home, was the signal for canterlot's night life to begin.

While an outsider would see nothing but a quiet city with everyone asleep in their comfy beds, Canterlot in fact had quite the amount of nighttime activity that were available for anyone willing to look for them. Bars for the weary after a hard day of work or just for ponies that want to forget themselves for awhile and gambling dens for the rich who feel like wasting some bits.

It's at one of these bars that we see a light brown earth pony standing outside. "So the store's not here anymore....." The earth pony gave a sigh and looked up at the bar sign with a wry smile. "The Wine Bowel eh?" He chuckled under his breath at the name as he entered the bar.

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If a pony visits a bar for the first time, the first thing they notice will be the extremely sudden change in atmosphere. A bar will look rather menacing for one when looking from the outside, with its small, plain door and lack of windows. In fact, you could easily mistake it to be abandoned. Many bars are never full due to the pure fact the most customers are scared away. When one walks in however, they will notice the atmosphere change instantly from the dark aura on the outside into a much more friendly tone. A feeling meant to give comfort, like a friend that you could rely on.

At the counter of The Wine Bowel sat a frazzled, pink female Pegasus, various different magazines about bars sticking out of her purse. If you looked closely, you would be able to see the small dark rims that lined her eyes.

"This one's also a no...."

She sighed as she crossed out something on a notepad she was writing on. And took another swig of her cocktail.

"This tastes horrible!"

She yelled out to the disgruntled bartender as she slammed the glass on the table. She got a small glare as the black unicorn made his way towards her.

"Seriously! That's enough! Of course it tastes bad!"

"What do you mean of course it tastes bad?! You're a terrible bartender!"

The pair started to argue, causing many eyebrows to be raised in their direction. Right before it got too serious, an amused voice interrupted the two.

"It's not his fault you know"

The two looked over to see the same smiling earth pony from outside the bar.

"Why don't you try mine? Though it's the same drink"

The pony held out his own cocktail to the Pegasus. She eyed him with a curious look as she took the drink. Her eyes widened as she gulped it down.

"Wow! How's this the same drink? It's good!"

The stranger gave a laugh.

"A short cocktail such as this Gin Fizz is meant to be drank within three gulps, and many iced drinks should be consumed within ten minuets. Bartenders usually get uneasy when ponies leave their drinks sitting like that"

She glanced over to the black unicorn who nodded his head.

"The ice melts and dilutes it"

Noting her mistake, the Pegasus looked down in embarrassment.

"S-sorry, I was thinking about some-"

Her apology got cut short as a picture in the newspaper caught her eye. It depicted the very same earth pony sitting next to her holding a trophy.

-Citrus Blues, 26 years old. Winner of Canterlot's cocktail contest-
-Youngest pony to serve drinks to VIPs visiting the castle-
-Currently works at Canterlot Castle but is also a freelance bartender-
-Referred to as Celestia's bartender due to him being the only one to receive a personal award from Celestia-

Celestia's....Bartender

The Pegasus sneaked a peak at the earth pony, who was currently making small talk with the bartender.

"Um... y-your Citrus Blues aren't you?"

At this the Earth Pony smiled as he looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Why yes. Are you one of my customers?"

I don't have anymore time! I'll just have to trust that he's good enough!

As if possessed by a ghost, the Pegasus suddenly latched on to him.

"Please! I'm begging you! I need someone to taste you cocktail!"

And at that note, she dragged the poor pony out the bar, ignoring the gaping jaws of the surrounding ponies due to both the Liquid Chef being there and the fact that the Pegasus literally kicked a hole through the wall.

----------Two days later at Canterlot Hotel----------

Of the many tourist attractions located in Canterlot, the Canterlot Hotel is one of the most popular, only second to the Royal Gardens. The hotel stands at a majestic 300 meters with 83 floors and a glass roof. One night here would usually cost more than what most ponies make in a month. It was on the top floor that we spot Citrus and the Pegasus from before. In front of her were three bartenders. Two unicorns and one earth pony.

"And now, Mr.Fleethoof, our director of the liquor department will be inspecting your cocktails"

Next to the Pegasus stood a stoic dark blue earth pony in a suit, who stated at the three before him with a piercing gaze.

"Let me be clear with this"

The inspector started to glare, causing the trio to shrink back slightly.

"I absolutely have no expectations from any of you"

Ignoring the glare the Pegasus sent him, he continued.

"I've directed perfect marketing for this hotel to succeed, you bartenders will follow all my orders and-"
"Woah! Look how tall this place is! I can see the Castle from up here!"

A visible tick mark appeared on fleethoof's head as everyone sweat dropped over Citrus' childish antics that suspiciously looked like he was humping the glass.

"But..."

Citrus turned around and smiled softly.

"Acrophobic ponies probably won't like this bar"

Fleethoof growled a bit a that, glaring, if possible, even harder than before.

"Mist Chaser, you're the one that brought all these bartenders here, along with the idiot over there right?"

The Pegasus now known as Mist Chaser nodded.

"Yes. Though he is the youngest of all four, I have reasons to believe that he is the most experienced. I forced him to come here when I saw his achievements in the paper"

Fleethoof sighed in frustration.

"Very well. Line up so I can begin inspection"

All four bartenders stood beside a table as Fleethoof went towards the first server, a unicorn.

"I will be tasting your best cocktail. Lets start with you"

The unicorn gave a confident smile as he levitated various drinks.

"I will be making a martini"

Liquor and cups flew into a frenzied blur as the unicorn worked, showing of some juggling here and there in a small attempt to impress.

"Done"

A martini was gently levitated onto the table. Fleethoof took a sip and looked directly at the unicorn.

"This is a strong drink. Will you serve it after I finished my meal or before I eat?"

The unicorn looked stumped as he stared at the inspector stupidly.

"W-what?"

Fleethoof sighed as he placed the drink back on the table. A martini is a strong drink. You must be stupid to serve it not knowing if the customer is full or not. Leaving the unicorn to stare at the glass in frustration, he moved on to the next pony, also a unicorn, who bowed.

"I'll be making a grasshopper"

Fleethoof gave a bored looked.

"I want it Pousse-Cafe style"

The unicorn stared at him confused.

"You do know what that is right?"

Snapped out of his daze the unicorn started gathering drinks shakily.

"Y-yeah, it's a way of mixing that causes drinks of different densities to float on top of each other"

The unicorn's movements were unsteady, causing the resulting drink to be mixed a bit to much. The unicorn noticed and started to murmur apologies.

"T-The order was so sudden that-"

"Customers can be cruel. If you can't adjust to orders, don't be a professional bartender"

Fleethoof moved to next table, ignoring the glare that Mist sent his way, as he moved on to the third contestant.

"And you?"

He earth pony smiled politely at him.

"I will be making a sidecar"

As the pony was making the drink, Fleethoof was gestured to by Citrus.

"Excuse me, I will be back in ten minuets"

He rushed of before giving Fleethoof a chance to reply.

"So he's running away huh? Amateur"

Fleethoof smirked as he took a sip of the sidecar the earth pony had just finished making. It wasn't very good, but it was the best of the three.

Guess this is the best I'll get...

Fleethoof sighed in annoyance as he dismissed the three and settled in to wait for Citrus, though he didn't believe that he would show up.

----------Ten Minuets Later----------

"So you didn't run away eh?"

Fleethoof glared at Citrus as he made his cocktail.

"Of course not, all a bartender has to do is mix the recipes of the cocktail the customer ordered.

"So you get paid for something like this, what an easy job"

A few minuets passed and Fleethoof began to get impatient.

"Hey, I don't care what it is, just hurry up"

Citrus smiled at him.

"Why don't we start with a simple quiz?

"What did you just say?!"

Fleethoof almost yelled, barely managing to keep his already small temper in check.

"In this world there are two jobs that require the worker to never betray the customer. Do you know what they are?"

Fleethoof continued to glare.

"What are you saying?!"

"The first job is a doctor. And the other, a bartender"

Forgetting his anger, he Fleethoof stared at Citrus in confusion.

"Both provide things that can be either medical or poisonous"

Citrus twirled the mixing spoon in the drink and finally add ice.

"Here is my cocktail"

Citrus produced a small cup which he placed on the table.

"W-wha?"

Fleethoof stared at the cocktail in growing anger.

DON'T SCREW WITH ME! I DON'T HAVE TIME TO MESS AROUND WITH BARTENDERS LIKE YOU! GET OUT!

At this, Fleethoof literally grabbed citrus and threw him into the elevator. He then turned to a disgruntled Mist Cloud.

AND YOU! HOW COULD YOU THINK SOMEONE LIKE HIM COULD BE A PROFESSIONAL BARTENDER?! I'LL HAVE YOU HANDING OUT ADVERTISEMENTS FOR THE REST OF YOUR CAREER!

After kicking out Mist Cloud as well, he huffed angrily.

"What was he thinking serving a Mizuwari?! To think there are still bartenders that think something like this counts as a cocktail!"

He grabbed it and drank it in one gulp...
Only to drop the glass in surprise.

"T-This is a Mizuwari?"

He stared at the broken glass in amazement.

"W-What is this? The sharpness of the Whisky is gone, leaving a sweet taste, but its not watery at all!"

He stood there for a moment, and promptly went of in search of the bartender.

"Amazing, to think that a Mizuwari this good actually existed!"

----------Club Left Bank----------

Out of the many bars open an night in Canterlot, each have their own style of drinks, as every bartender does something different with his or her drinks. Club Left Bank was one of these, located at the western edge of Canterlot leading into Cloudsdale. It wasn't a popular bar, no it was far from it, but it was able to stay alive due to most customers being regulars to the bar. At the edge of the bar sat Citrus, downing beers. The bartender stood next to him, talking with friendly banter.

"Wow Citrus, you just got back from Las Pegasus and you've already got that much on your plate? Sounds rough"

Citrus downed his fourth glass and help out for a refill.

"Seriously, she pretty much forced me to go! And getting yelled at by a jerk like that..."

The two continued talking and didn't notice the twitching blue pony who was quickly making his way to the counter.

"A jerk like that.... could you possibly be talking about me?"

He sat dawn with a huff, causing citrus to choke on his beer. The two sat in relatively awkward silence with Citrus stealing glances at Fleetfoot. He secretly cursed the bartender for leaving the two of them alone.
....
"In my 20 years of drinking, I've never had a Mizuwari that good before."

Fleetfoot turned his chair and faced Citrus with a determined face.

"Please tell me.... your Mizuwari.... what was different about it?"

Citrus blushed at the compliment and smiled as he set his glass down.

"There is a tired customer. He hasn't gone home for days due to a busy weak at the hotel"

Fleetfoot stared in shock.

"W-How did you?!"
"Your sleeves are dirty, which is rare for a hotel manager, epically for a perfectionist like you, and the hotel has been busy this week due to the bar opening up and summer starting. You most likely have tons of tourists."

Fleetfoot slumped back, noting that Citrus was completely right.

"You probably had many arguments with the staff due to the stressful week, so your stomach acted up, causing you to drink. With your damaged taste buds, I figured that the normal Mizuwari recipe of 2:1 water to whiskey was to strong for you, so I lowered it even more 3:1"

Fleetfoot sputtered in disbelief.

"B-But how?! Normal Mizuwari already tastes very dull, yet yours, that was even more watered down, didn't taste bad at all!"

Citrus smirked.

"It's all in the ice."

Citrus grabbed the ice from his glass and threw it to Fleetfoot.

"An ice that won't melt even though the alcohol level is dropped. A hard ice, to keep the balance"

"I-Ice? So then you left when I was inspecting to get.....ice?"

Realization dawned on Fleetfoot's face as he looked down in acceptance.

"To go to such length.... even for an unlikeable customer like me...."

Both ponies stared at the table in now comfortable silence before Citrus spoke.

"Do you know what bartender means?"

"What it means?"

"Bar means roost, while tender means kind, thus bartender means kind roost. If the roost we're leaning on right now is a bar, then it would just be a place where people came to drink. But because there is a bartender, tender, which is also kindness, is born into the bar"

Fleetfoot examined the bar table and smiled.

"So a person who takes the term literally isn't even a customer eh?"

"Nope, but even then, whoever stands in front of a bar, a bartender will never betray them... But didn't I already tell you that?"

Citrus smiled as he got two more beers for the both of them.

"Cheers!"

Fleetfoot finally looked up, and this time he had a look of respectfulness to him.

"So how about it? Wanna work for us?"

"Nah, I wanna look around and see what kind of bars there are here"

Fleetfoot smiled in acceptance and downed his glass.

"So how did you find such hard ice in the hotel anyway?"

Citrus gave a wry smirk.

"That..... is a bartender's secret"

----------Canterlot Hotel Kitchens----------

WHO BROKE THE ICE SCULPTURE OF CELESTIA?! I SWEAR IF THOSE IDIOTS TOOK IT FOR THE BAR!!!!