The Evil Juice

by Detectivefish

The Sombric Solution

Inside Ponyville's only library, its occupant, one Twilight Sparkle sighed, turning around to look at the clock, and smiled.
"Well, Spike, I think perhaps that's enough practicing for today. Shall we go see how everypony's day is going?" she smiled. Spike looked up at the librarian and smiled.

"Sure."
Twilight Sparkle walked over to the door.

"It's odd, isn't it, how quiet this town's been lately" the mare observed. Actually, she was confused. One week the town was bustling with life and excitement, the next it was alarmingly quiet, especially on Thursday afternoons, she'd noted, but almost never on Saturdays. Saturdays always seemed the weirdest days, and whenever Pinkie Pie was around, they were even stranger, and yet the strange earth pony barely ever seemed taken aback by anything.

Spike just chuckled, "Yeah, it's great, isn't it? Guess Applejack convinced her sister and her friends to stop causing disasters every other week."

Twilight glanced at the little dragon as he walked out of the library. She closed the door, placing a sign on the front door informing everypony who came by that the library was closed.

"They're just trying to gain their Cutie Marks, Spike. Even if they are going about it in a remarkably overzealous way."
"Apparently they keep getting covered in tree sap, and it's straining," there was a small sigh from the dragon, and Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes at the realisation of what Spike was about to say, "It's straining Rarity's endless beautiful patience."

Then, quiet suddenly Applejack rushed past, terror evident on her face as she repeated the word 'no' over and over again. Spike and Twilight looked at each other.

"Wonder what that was about," Spike said casually. Twilight Sparkle frowned, and her face set in a way that made Spike's blood run cold. It was her Noticing Things face, which meant soon enough she'd be asking him to 'take a letter'. Not that he minded writing letters for Twilight, exactly, but he had just had to transcribe the last Ponyville town meeting for some reason (he'd been distracted by thoughts of Rarity again). He was a creature of his word, and any task he was asked to perform, he would do to the best of his ability, but he did suffer from nasty wrist cramps sometimes (and, he noted, a lot more frequently since Twilight had made friends).

"Let's find out" Twilight said, setting off at a steady pace.

*****

Applejack rushed through Ponyville, moving as fast as her trophy-winning legs could carry her. Fear fueled her movement, a fear that wasn't eased by the fact that she was certain she'd just passed a cheerful purple blur that was in fact Twilight Sparkle.

And then she collided with somepony. There were a few seconds of annoyed grunts and yelps.

"Get off!" a familiar sounding pony declared.
"You first ya-" Applejack paused when she saw the pony staring at her.

"Applejack?"
"Apple Crisp?"

The cousins quickly, and silently, untangled themselves before embracing.
"Nice t' see ya again, cousin."

The mare identified as Apple Crisp just smirked, "Yeah, great to see you too, Applejack, but... I've got a problem."
Applejack nodded, "Brown Betty wandered off?"

"Yeah. I think she's looking for snack-foods."
Applejack's expression sunk, and Apple Crisp just stared at her cousin.

"Something wrong?" she asked, as her cousin rushed away toward Sweet Apple Acres.

*****

(Several minutes ago)
Pinkie Pie had returned from writing a note to herself about using a catch-phrase in the future (having discovered seventeen different notes all saying the exact same thing) to find the odd pony calling herself Brown Betty standing there looking confused.

"Something wrong?" Pinkie Pie asked. The mare looked up, and smiled.
"Yes, I've forgotten where I was supposed to go. I..." the mare looked about, "I do that a lot actually. It drives my daughter crazy sometimes."

"I can help you," Pinkie Pie smiled, "Do you remember where it is?"
The mare smiled. "Yes. It had something to do with apples," then she leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "You know, I can't remember the last time I had a toffee apple."

Pinkie stared at the mare. "Apples?" she said.
"Well, there's only one place in practically all of Ponyville that does apples, and that's Sweet Apples Acres."

Brown Betty smiled, "Yes, that was it. Sweet Apple Acres."
The mare suddenly stared blankly, "But this is my first time in Ponyville, so I... I-I don't remember where to go."

Pinkie Pie just bounced around the counter. "Don't frown, Pinkie Pie'll help you get there. Any friend of Applejack's is a friend of mine. Unless they secretly turn out to be a meanie-pants, like Dashie's friend Gilda, the meanie-pants Griffon."

That had been several minutes ago.
Applejack and Apple Crisp arrived at Sugarcube Corner to find everything calm, and eerily quiet.

"Oh, hello again, Applejack" came a voice from behind the counter, belonging Mrs Cake, co-owner and proprietor of Sugarcube Corner.

"Hey, Mrs Cake. You ain't seen a mare, kinda gettin' on in age, goes by the name Brown Betty, have ya?"

The mare shook her head. "No. But I'm sure Pinkie Pie's probably seen her. You could ask her if she's seen her,"
Applejack's ears perked up, until she heard the next thing the mare said, "But she's out right now, helping a pony with something."

Apple Crisp turned to Applejack, "What exactly is the problem with this Pinkie Pie meeting Elizabeth, exactly?"
Applejack sighed, "She's the best cider customer in town, Crisp. An' she's like nothin' you've ever seen anywhere, ah can guarantee ya."

Apple Crisp just stared deap-pan at Applejack, "I don't know, I've seen some pretty weird things in the last few years."
She looked about the room, "Though for the sake of your sanity, I think I'll avoid saying what sort of things. So don't go thinking I don't know something weird when I see it."

"Have ya ever seen a mare who can predict when frogs are gonna fall out the sky?"
"No. Because that isn't scientifically possible" Applejack stared at Apple Crisp good-naturedly.

"What?" the mare asked.
"You'd get on well with a pony ah know. Good girl, but she doesn't know 'bout the Pinkie Sense either."
Applejack shook her head at the though of Twilight Sparkle learning about Pinkie Sense.

"Anyway, if Pinkie Pie finds out Brown Betty makes cider, it..." Applejack paused. Apple Crips stared at her.
"What?"

Applejack tried to imagine what Pinkie Pie could possibly do to cider, then decided not to imagine what could happen.
"Trust me, cousin, it won't be pretty."

*****

Pinkie Pie and Brown Betty walked along toward Sweet Apples Acres, the pink mare bouncing as she usually did while randomly jumping from topic to topic.

"-And so I was all 'yeah, she's orange, but I really don't know anything else about her.' She's orange and she runs a farm, and it isn't even named after her, it's named after her aunt, who is a really awesome pony who does all sorts of cool stuff and apparently she once made a dragon explode by throwing salt and pepper down it's throat, which sounds kinda mean because I like salt and pepper and I don't want to explode, and she once fought underwater squirrels that tried to eat her and that sounds really cool and completely weird, and I once met Black Snooty. Or was it Nightmare Moon?"

Brown Betty stared at Pinkie Pie for several minutes. "And you... your Cutie Mark means what exactly?"
"Oh, it's about how I love to make ponies smile, usually by throwing parties and making jokes and candy and cupcakes and candy-canes, and pinatats, and pin-the-tail-on-the-pony!" she turned to look at Brown Betty, "What about you? What's your special talent?"

"Oh, my special talent is, well, actually, I'm an expert in various forms of chemistry, especially with regards to chemical mixtures. But my main speciality is drink-making, though I usually only get to make various forms of cider."
For a moment Pinkie remained completely, utterly still, just staring at the mare.

"Cider?" she said quietly, before a massive grin overcame her face, one that seemed to go beyond the borders of her mouth.
"I! LOVE! CIDER!" she boomed.

*****

As Applejack ran toward her farm, Apple Crisp keeping a steady pace with her, she had a sudden feeling that everything had just gone hideously, hideously wrong, and that in all liklihood, it was about to get so much worse, especially for her.
Which was why she didn't see Twilight Sparkle until she'd managed to run into the mare full-tilt.

*****

"Did you hear that?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking toward a suddenly startled looking Rarity, who fortunately hadn't been holding anything near her at the time, the mare having been examining a box of fabric samples.

"Hear what?" the fashion-designer said quickly.
"Must've been my imagination" Rainbow Dash frowned, as Rarity began the second part of her Rainbow Dash-distracting scheme, which was choosing the right sort of fabric for the mare's dress designs.